things i've learned today
a few things that popped into my head while sitting in borders today:
1) this is really good for me. it's getting me out of my comfort zone. i can't go ANYWHERE in annapolis without seeing someone i know. but here, i don't know anyone. if i went a little farther south or west, i would know quite a few people. but i decided to come here, to hagerstown, where the only people i know are my uncle, aunt, cousins, and grandmother. 3 adults and 4 children. you don't run into them in the bookstore or the grocery store or the small pizzeria in the middle of the historic district. i have to learn to meet people in an unfamiliar space, or learn to be alone, both of which would be good.
2) people here, in general are not very physically attractive. that shouldn't bother me. except that since i dated michelle i've put more stock into personal appearance and style. i still don't have much style, but i think i'm much better than i used to be. anyway... at the same time i miss seeing physically attractive people, i realize there is a lot more open emotion and more of a community atmosphere. things i value highly. i guess where i'm going with all of this (though it's mostly disconnected, mindless drivel) is that i think i am a big city guy with small town morals. something that seems to have struck a chord with the "bruce springsteen inside of me". but it also helps me figure out where i may need to be in awhile.
3) i know who i am, and i know what i want. someone told me a few months ago that i'm immature, and that i have a lot of growing up to do. and i think that's true. but i think that's true of most people in america, and i think i'm a bit farther along than most of the people i know, both in and out of my age group. in groups where i am the youngest i often feel that i still have the clearest world-view and personal-view. that's big.
4) recently my ego has been really big. or at least it seems that way. all i know is that something is telling me i have a bigger part to play yet. and that's also why i haven't run into the woods to never be heard from again. people are vital, and i still believe we all have purpose.
5) i am you as you are me. interpret that how you will.
1) this is really good for me. it's getting me out of my comfort zone. i can't go ANYWHERE in annapolis without seeing someone i know. but here, i don't know anyone. if i went a little farther south or west, i would know quite a few people. but i decided to come here, to hagerstown, where the only people i know are my uncle, aunt, cousins, and grandmother. 3 adults and 4 children. you don't run into them in the bookstore or the grocery store or the small pizzeria in the middle of the historic district. i have to learn to meet people in an unfamiliar space, or learn to be alone, both of which would be good.
2) people here, in general are not very physically attractive. that shouldn't bother me. except that since i dated michelle i've put more stock into personal appearance and style. i still don't have much style, but i think i'm much better than i used to be. anyway... at the same time i miss seeing physically attractive people, i realize there is a lot more open emotion and more of a community atmosphere. things i value highly. i guess where i'm going with all of this (though it's mostly disconnected, mindless drivel) is that i think i am a big city guy with small town morals. something that seems to have struck a chord with the "bruce springsteen inside of me". but it also helps me figure out where i may need to be in awhile.
3) i know who i am, and i know what i want. someone told me a few months ago that i'm immature, and that i have a lot of growing up to do. and i think that's true. but i think that's true of most people in america, and i think i'm a bit farther along than most of the people i know, both in and out of my age group. in groups where i am the youngest i often feel that i still have the clearest world-view and personal-view. that's big.
4) recently my ego has been really big. or at least it seems that way. all i know is that something is telling me i have a bigger part to play yet. and that's also why i haven't run into the woods to never be heard from again. people are vital, and i still believe we all have purpose.
5) i am you as you are me. interpret that how you will.