*twitch*
I got lost.
I was headed to the boy's house, because I was tired of living at the bus station and all. He'd written me a Father's Day letter that was six months late (give or take, but still way too late to save my hard-earned cheese sandwich from that psycho living in the handicapped stall), so we had a nice little chat via courier pigeon or whatever. I thought, Hey, that little bastard let my sandwich die, this is abuse of the elderly! Sort of,, and decided to crash on his couch.
He sent the courier pigeon back without a letter. It ate my holy ham sandwich, which I think was planned. Fuck those vampires, anyway.
I think I got pretty close. I wasn't paying much attention, some weird scaly creature kept biting me in the ass. I was feeling pretty good, though, except for the bites on my ass, when I ran into some guy selling bottles of goo on the side of the road. He was like, "Where you going?" and I was like, "Thattaway. I'm going to bother my son because he didn't pick me up at the bus station four months ago."
The guy started to shake up one of the bottles of goo and said, "Minas Tirith?" I told him "probably," because I get the Minases mixed up; being dead fucks with your brain like that. And then that fucker popped the cork on his bottle of goo and threw the shit all over me! I tried to scream, "WHAT THE FUCK?", but it just came out as a garbled regular scream. The goo was sinking into my pores and burned like hell. I could feel my ass breaking out in hives where it wasn't bitten.
So the guy pulled out another bottle of crap. I thought he was going to finish me off, but he splashed me a second time and just like that, the burning stopped and the hives were gone. I said, "What the fuck?!" because I could this time, since I wasn't screaming uncontrollably or writhing anymore. The guy just shook his head and said, "You don't want to go to Minas Tirith, man." I was kind of dazed, but I think I asked, "Why not?!" He handed me a sealed bottle. "You're allergic." The bottle was covered with black Xes and had a little tiny label that read, "ANGST".
So THEN I was turned around and sent to some vaccination center someplace, and I got lost and fell into a hole and lost consciousness and woke up in China. I learned to use chopsticks. That was pretty cool.
I still haven't found the vaccination center, so they're making me sit outside the gates. They keep giving me juice.
I was headed to the boy's house, because I was tired of living at the bus station and all. He'd written me a Father's Day letter that was six months late (give or take, but still way too late to save my hard-earned cheese sandwich from that psycho living in the handicapped stall), so we had a nice little chat via courier pigeon or whatever. I thought, Hey, that little bastard let my sandwich die, this is abuse of the elderly! Sort of,, and decided to crash on his couch.
He sent the courier pigeon back without a letter. It ate my holy ham sandwich, which I think was planned. Fuck those vampires, anyway.
I think I got pretty close. I wasn't paying much attention, some weird scaly creature kept biting me in the ass. I was feeling pretty good, though, except for the bites on my ass, when I ran into some guy selling bottles of goo on the side of the road. He was like, "Where you going?" and I was like, "Thattaway. I'm going to bother my son because he didn't pick me up at the bus station four months ago."
The guy started to shake up one of the bottles of goo and said, "Minas Tirith?" I told him "probably," because I get the Minases mixed up; being dead fucks with your brain like that. And then that fucker popped the cork on his bottle of goo and threw the shit all over me! I tried to scream, "WHAT THE FUCK?", but it just came out as a garbled regular scream. The goo was sinking into my pores and burned like hell. I could feel my ass breaking out in hives where it wasn't bitten.
So the guy pulled out another bottle of crap. I thought he was going to finish me off, but he splashed me a second time and just like that, the burning stopped and the hives were gone. I said, "What the fuck?!" because I could this time, since I wasn't screaming uncontrollably or writhing anymore. The guy just shook his head and said, "You don't want to go to Minas Tirith, man." I was kind of dazed, but I think I asked, "Why not?!" He handed me a sealed bottle. "You're allergic." The bottle was covered with black Xes and had a little tiny label that read, "ANGST".
So THEN I was turned around and sent to some vaccination center someplace, and I got lost and fell into a hole and lost consciousness and woke up in China. I learned to use chopsticks. That was pretty cool.
I still haven't found the vaccination center, so they're making me sit outside the gates. They keep giving me juice.