An Extended Rememborence
Ok i'm sorry about the lack of updates on my journal, but i try to find time to update this :). Alot of things have happened yet again... read on into my united love and hate saga:
Ok, things between me n Tonya r great, and once were together it seems like all i get is insanity from other people, thinkin they can get the best of me. Remember CJ (18 years old) from my other posts? Yeah well, he got on, n i warned him b4 that i was gonna show Tonya the convo with him sayin that shit n me sayin how pissed i was at him n he told me he didnt wanna fight me n shit so thats fine, n i still told him i was gonna show Tonya. So he gets on a couple nights ago right? And i said oh, oh, Tonya hes on, so she gets on n bitches at him bout it, n he tries denyin it ALL. But its a good thing AIM lets u save convos :). I let Tonya read the convo with me n him b4 hand. So i got wicked pissed when he denied it n shit so i got on my sn (on the other computer), n told him what would of happened if he lied, (i told him if he was lyin i'd beat his ass) n so i was bitchin at him too, n his little buddy Ron (whos 15) gets on n starts runnin his little useless mouth off. So i was like yeah whatever n he kept runnin it n talkin shit bout Tonya, so i was gonna have one of my best friends, Sean give me a ride out to Mexico to set some things straight, well Sean didnt feel it was worth it to do all that n stuff... so a little while after this Ron kid wanted to keep up his mouth (which i warned him bout), he calls me up BITCHIN at me. N was like come on out blah blah blah, n i was like wtf i have to wait for Sean to find out wtf is goin on with him (by this time he was rlly pissin me off, annoyin as fuck!), n Sean wasnt online, n Tonya was just sittin there listenin to me bitchin at the kid (there was like 3 or 4 kids in the background besides), n i was fuckin goin nuts, bitchin at a level Tonya never saw me bitch b4... lets see i put my weak arm (the arm i dont usually punch with), through my speaker of my stereo, which is very very hard plastic, i showed my other best friend Paul how hard it was, i kicked my other speakers, i through my computer chair (while on the phone with them). Then i got my ciggs n walked out of my house to walk up to mexico from where i live (oswego/scriba). Everyone tried to stop me.... i even told them on the phone i was walkin up there to beat their fuckin ass n shit, i wont say the other things i said to them due to eplict words. I kepted walkin, n Tonya kept tyrin to pull me back bc she didnt want me to go to jail over those assholes, n it was a looooooooooong walk n didnt want me freezin (shes so cute :) ). Then Dave comes out tryin to stop me i just kept dodgin them from pullin me back n kept walkin... n i kept tellin Tonya to go back to my house so she wouldnt freeze walkin with me, n she wouldnt listen (i didnt want her sick or freeze), n she kept tuggin on me, so finally i gave in n shit bc i didnt want her gettin sick n freezin, n she kept pullin on me, n i wouldnt get far within a good time anyways.
As i was walkin back to my house my dad drove up next to us sayin how Tonya's mom called n shit (bout the problem) n i guess she said i shouldnt do it anyways bc he wasnt worth it n shit. I just had it in my mind to beat the living FUCK out of him! Words could not describe the anger i had. Then i find out when i got back that they ALL left anyways...... o boy i would of got pissed if none of them were there!!! Were they afraid or somethin? It was ONLY me walkin up there to fight what 3 or 4 of them? However many started shit with me. The kid even told me to stop yellin LMFAO! Hmmm n i have YET to hear ANYTHING from them... ;).
Aside from that, nuttin rlly, just rlly happy me n Tonya r doin VERY great! N I been up all night to go to sleep early tonight to wake up early on sunday (tomorrow) bc for one... paul has a party at 3:30 pm. And for two, i need to get back on scheduale!
Ever noticed all my entries r long? Lol.
For now i bid you farewell with a couple songs i made... enjoy :-p:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love Is To Hate" (Love, Hate And The Fearless- Album)
Lost in a hole
Burried up above my head
Where wandering thoughts are enclosed
Shovel me out somebody
Out of the fucking stones
And Into free eternity
I've been bled, i've also been torn
I still love, even when my hearts been cloven
I can still breathe, I'll get up and leave
And never again will i bleed
From your own greed
Lone from a home
Boxed me into four sorrowed walls
Where wandering thoughts echo around
Give me windows somebody
To look on past this home
And into free eternity
I've been bled, i've also been torn
I still love, even when my hearts been cloven
I can still breathe, I'll get up and leave
And never again will i bleed
From your own greed
Lost, threatened, dissconnected
Reconnected through the pain
Queed,confused, disseased
Releived that my friends freed me
I've been bled, i've also been torn
I still love, even when my hearts been cloven
I can still breathe, I'll get up and leave
And never again will i bleed
From your own greed
I've been bled
I still love
I can still breath
From your own greed
Are you feeling fucking happy now?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
"This Valentine Despondency" (Love, Hate And The Fearless- Album)
A sweet melody of your spirit
Induced by aggression lays next to me
It plays with me like strings
Strings hung by you
The more you play for me
The more i love it
Sing it again
I'll love it more each time
All this gratefull hate
Is my valentine
Sing it once again
Tear into me again
Will you be my valentine?
A low tone is all theres left
Subsided by silence, cant hear you
You'll sing over and over
Just to get to me
But, the more you play for me
The more i love it
Sing it again
I'll love it more each time
All this gratefull hate
Is my valentine
Sing it once again
Tear into me again
Will you be my valentine?
Your heart that sings
Lays next to me in no effort
My heart that screams
Lays next to you in torment
This valentine, I get,
The subliminal verses in your song
Sing it again
I'll love it more each time
All this gratefull hate
Is my valentine
Sing it once again
Tear into me again
Will you be my valentine?
Sing it once again
I'll love it
Sing it once again
This gratefull hate
Sing it once again
My valentine
Sing it once again...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Abhorrence"
I can hear screams from night til day
And the moon looks at the sun with nothing to say
As the light resinates the darkness
The moon's tear drop hardens
The fear in the air,
Makes my mind stare
Into the fading night that is abhorrence
And for this I have no tolerence
Where did all the stars go?
It was never meant to be
When did they all flee?
It was never meant to be this cold
And til then I'm alone
I can feel this shreiking disgust thats extreme
And the moon looks at the sun in a shaking scream
As the shadows fall into a dream
The memories flow in a lit stream
The mindless screaching,
Made my eyes creeping
In and out of reality and dreams of abhorrence
And for this I have no tolerence
Where did all the stars go?
It was never meant to be
When did they all flee?
It was never meant to be this cold
And til then I'm alone
It was never meant to be,
Never meant to be
Never meant to be
Never meant to be
It was never meant to be, me!
Where did all the stars go?
It was never meant to be
When did they all flee?
It was never meant to be this cold
And til then I'm alone
Where did all the stars go?
It was never meant to be
When did they all flee?
It was never meant to be this cold
And til then I'm alone
Til then I'm alone,
Alone
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Tonya I Love You Princess :-*
I Miss You Tons Already! :(
I'll Love You Forever N Ever No Matter What! :-*
I'll Drown You In Kisses
I'll Smother You In Hugs
~N~ I'll Wrestle You In Cuddling!
~*!Brad & Tonya Forever N Ever!*~
Ok, things between me n Tonya r great, and once were together it seems like all i get is insanity from other people, thinkin they can get the best of me. Remember CJ (18 years old) from my other posts? Yeah well, he got on, n i warned him b4 that i was gonna show Tonya the convo with him sayin that shit n me sayin how pissed i was at him n he told me he didnt wanna fight me n shit so thats fine, n i still told him i was gonna show Tonya. So he gets on a couple nights ago right? And i said oh, oh, Tonya hes on, so she gets on n bitches at him bout it, n he tries denyin it ALL. But its a good thing AIM lets u save convos :). I let Tonya read the convo with me n him b4 hand. So i got wicked pissed when he denied it n shit so i got on my sn (on the other computer), n told him what would of happened if he lied, (i told him if he was lyin i'd beat his ass) n so i was bitchin at him too, n his little buddy Ron (whos 15) gets on n starts runnin his little useless mouth off. So i was like yeah whatever n he kept runnin it n talkin shit bout Tonya, so i was gonna have one of my best friends, Sean give me a ride out to Mexico to set some things straight, well Sean didnt feel it was worth it to do all that n stuff... so a little while after this Ron kid wanted to keep up his mouth (which i warned him bout), he calls me up BITCHIN at me. N was like come on out blah blah blah, n i was like wtf i have to wait for Sean to find out wtf is goin on with him (by this time he was rlly pissin me off, annoyin as fuck!), n Sean wasnt online, n Tonya was just sittin there listenin to me bitchin at the kid (there was like 3 or 4 kids in the background besides), n i was fuckin goin nuts, bitchin at a level Tonya never saw me bitch b4... lets see i put my weak arm (the arm i dont usually punch with), through my speaker of my stereo, which is very very hard plastic, i showed my other best friend Paul how hard it was, i kicked my other speakers, i through my computer chair (while on the phone with them). Then i got my ciggs n walked out of my house to walk up to mexico from where i live (oswego/scriba). Everyone tried to stop me.... i even told them on the phone i was walkin up there to beat their fuckin ass n shit, i wont say the other things i said to them due to eplict words. I kepted walkin, n Tonya kept tyrin to pull me back bc she didnt want me to go to jail over those assholes, n it was a looooooooooong walk n didnt want me freezin (shes so cute :) ). Then Dave comes out tryin to stop me i just kept dodgin them from pullin me back n kept walkin... n i kept tellin Tonya to go back to my house so she wouldnt freeze walkin with me, n she wouldnt listen (i didnt want her sick or freeze), n she kept tuggin on me, so finally i gave in n shit bc i didnt want her gettin sick n freezin, n she kept pullin on me, n i wouldnt get far within a good time anyways.
As i was walkin back to my house my dad drove up next to us sayin how Tonya's mom called n shit (bout the problem) n i guess she said i shouldnt do it anyways bc he wasnt worth it n shit. I just had it in my mind to beat the living FUCK out of him! Words could not describe the anger i had. Then i find out when i got back that they ALL left anyways...... o boy i would of got pissed if none of them were there!!! Were they afraid or somethin? It was ONLY me walkin up there to fight what 3 or 4 of them? However many started shit with me. The kid even told me to stop yellin LMFAO! Hmmm n i have YET to hear ANYTHING from them... ;).
Aside from that, nuttin rlly, just rlly happy me n Tonya r doin VERY great! N I been up all night to go to sleep early tonight to wake up early on sunday (tomorrow) bc for one... paul has a party at 3:30 pm. And for two, i need to get back on scheduale!
Ever noticed all my entries r long? Lol.
For now i bid you farewell with a couple songs i made... enjoy :-p:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Love Is To Hate" (Love, Hate And The Fearless- Album)
Lost in a hole
Burried up above my head
Where wandering thoughts are enclosed
Shovel me out somebody
Out of the fucking stones
And Into free eternity
I've been bled, i've also been torn
I still love, even when my hearts been cloven
I can still breathe, I'll get up and leave
And never again will i bleed
From your own greed
Lone from a home
Boxed me into four sorrowed walls
Where wandering thoughts echo around
Give me windows somebody
To look on past this home
And into free eternity
I've been bled, i've also been torn
I still love, even when my hearts been cloven
I can still breathe, I'll get up and leave
And never again will i bleed
From your own greed
Lost, threatened, dissconnected
Reconnected through the pain
Queed,confused, disseased
Releived that my friends freed me
I've been bled, i've also been torn
I still love, even when my hearts been cloven
I can still breathe, I'll get up and leave
And never again will i bleed
From your own greed
I've been bled
I still love
I can still breath
From your own greed
Are you feeling fucking happy now?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
"This Valentine Despondency" (Love, Hate And The Fearless- Album)
A sweet melody of your spirit
Induced by aggression lays next to me
It plays with me like strings
Strings hung by you
The more you play for me
The more i love it
Sing it again
I'll love it more each time
All this gratefull hate
Is my valentine
Sing it once again
Tear into me again
Will you be my valentine?
A low tone is all theres left
Subsided by silence, cant hear you
You'll sing over and over
Just to get to me
But, the more you play for me
The more i love it
Sing it again
I'll love it more each time
All this gratefull hate
Is my valentine
Sing it once again
Tear into me again
Will you be my valentine?
Your heart that sings
Lays next to me in no effort
My heart that screams
Lays next to you in torment
This valentine, I get,
The subliminal verses in your song
Sing it again
I'll love it more each time
All this gratefull hate
Is my valentine
Sing it once again
Tear into me again
Will you be my valentine?
Sing it once again
I'll love it
Sing it once again
This gratefull hate
Sing it once again
My valentine
Sing it once again...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Abhorrence"
I can hear screams from night til day
And the moon looks at the sun with nothing to say
As the light resinates the darkness
The moon's tear drop hardens
The fear in the air,
Makes my mind stare
Into the fading night that is abhorrence
And for this I have no tolerence
Where did all the stars go?
It was never meant to be
When did they all flee?
It was never meant to be this cold
And til then I'm alone
I can feel this shreiking disgust thats extreme
And the moon looks at the sun in a shaking scream
As the shadows fall into a dream
The memories flow in a lit stream
The mindless screaching,
Made my eyes creeping
In and out of reality and dreams of abhorrence
And for this I have no tolerence
Where did all the stars go?
It was never meant to be
When did they all flee?
It was never meant to be this cold
And til then I'm alone
It was never meant to be,
Never meant to be
Never meant to be
Never meant to be
It was never meant to be, me!
Where did all the stars go?
It was never meant to be
When did they all flee?
It was never meant to be this cold
And til then I'm alone
Where did all the stars go?
It was never meant to be
When did they all flee?
It was never meant to be this cold
And til then I'm alone
Til then I'm alone,
Alone
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Tonya I Love You Princess :-*
I Miss You Tons Already! :(
I'll Love You Forever N Ever No Matter What! :-*
I'll Drown You In Kisses
I'll Smother You In Hugs
~N~ I'll Wrestle You In Cuddling!
~*!Brad & Tonya Forever N Ever!*~