Hard to Impress
When Donna showed up at the door of the TARDIS in London, November of 2008, and told the Doctor quite forcefully that she rethought his offer and that she would like to go on a trip with him, he let her onboard, because-and this was something that he already knew about Donna and now knew very well-when Donna wanted something, it was best to let her have her way. It was usually not worth fighting her, and when it was worth the fight, the Doctor found that the amount of time spent yelling was detrimental to the cause.
The Doctor really wanted to impress her for her first official trip on the TARDIS. It may have been the fact that she came back to find him, or that she had refused him back at Christmas, or some bloated ego issues (or maybe a combination of all three)-no matter what it was, he wanted to take her somewhere spectacular.
He took Rose to the end of the world. He took Martha to meet Shakespeare. And if the third time was the charm, then wherever he took Donna would be the best in recent memory.
After a quick review of all the amazing places and people he could think of, the Doctor decided on a trip to Rome to go see Caesar. She’d love that, he thought. Who didn’t love Caesar-well, aside from a certain group of senators? Ancient Rome always made for an impressive trip. And afterwards they could get some bread and fresh olive oil as a snack. It would be brilliant.
Except it didn’t turn out that way at all. He hadn’t meant to land the TARDIS in Rome the same day Caesar was assassinated, so things in Rome were a little…well, he supposed ‘crazy’ was the right word. But he was proud of the fact that he had tracked down Brutus for Donna to meet; he thought that worked as the crowning achievement for the day. And even though Caesar was dead, there were still loads of bread and olive oil to be had in Rome.
But none of this impressed Donna. Not one thing. Not seeing Caesar’s body, not meeting Brutus, not even the exceptionally good olive oil. She didn’t even really like Rome.
“It’s so dirty,” she sniffed. “Not at all like what I expected. I thought it was going to be all fights in the Coliseum and big white buildings, not” she gestured broadly at the alley they were in, “this.”
“I’m not sure if you knew this, Donna, but ‘Gladiator’ wasn’t a documentary.” All right, that was bit rude of him, but she wasn’t supposed to have that reaction either. Companions were supposed to like where he took them; that was the whole point of inviting people to come travel with him. He didn’t do it so that he could be complained at.
He had a bad feeling that Donna would complain a lot.
So he tried the future. Everyone loved the future. It was impressive and gleaming and…future-y. And, just for kicks, he took her someplace that also had aliens. Aliens and the future. It was a winning combination…
…if by ‘winning’ he had actually meant ‘losing’. The future was, and these were Donna’s exact words, cheesy. And the aliens were unrealistic.
“What do you mean, unrealistic?” The Doctor was trying very, very hard to stay calm. “They’re standing right in front of you!” He gestured widely at the many blue citizens of Jupiter Five walking around them and got some very odd looks as a result.
“They just look like something I would see on the television.” Donna shrugged. “And as for this place,” she looked at the bustling market around them, “I don’t know, it looks like a bad backdrop.”
“But it’s real!” he shouted. This just made Donna roll her eyes and walk back in the direction of the TARDIS.
The Doctor would have thrown her out then and left her to survive in the apparently non-existent market if it weren’t for the fact that he was a very determined person. It was a personality trait he had no matter what body. And he was now determined to take her someplace she enjoyed.
Their next stop was Donna’s flat, because she hadn’t thought to pack enough clothes and insisted that he take her home so she could get some more. While she packed up in her room, he did a little snooping. Donna had more books than he had expected-not that he thought she was illiterate, she just didn’t seem the reading type-and she had a few Jane Austen books along with one titled “Jane Austen at Bath”. That’s right, he thought, Jane Austen lived in Bath for awhile. The plan started to form in his head. He would take Donna to Bath to meet Jane Austen, she would have an amazing time, and afterwards they could get tea and Bath biscuits. It would be wonderful.
He couldn’t help but be a little excited as they walked up to Jane Austen’s doorstep. He had double-checked the address (and the date) when they landed, and he was positive Donna would like it.
She didn’t say much as they walked down the street. The Doctor had a feeling that she was a little annoyed at having to wear a period-appropriate dress, so that was probably why she wasn’t talking.
He knocked on the door, and a woman who was unmistakably Jane Austen opened the door. He looked over at Donna expectantly, but he whipped his head back to the door when he heard it close with a slam.
Jane Austen had slammed the door in their faces. “Well,” he said, after a moment, “that was Jane Austen.” Donna just looked at him with one eyebrow raised in disbelief. “Want to go get some Bath biscuits?”
“All right, then.”
As they walked to the nearest bakery, the Doctor said “I wasn’t expecting her to be that rude. Sorry about that.”
“Well of course she was, she hated it here.” Donna frowned, “Or hates it. Which tense do I use?”
“What do you mean she hates it here?”
Donna looked at him oddly. “She hated the time she spent in Bath. She missed her home and had a horrible case of writer’s block. Everyone knows that.
Oh. “Right,” the Doctor said. “Of course. That’s why I came here. Thought we could cheer her up.”
Donna’s face broke into a wicked grin. “You didn’t know, did you?”
“I did!”
“No you didn’t.” Donna teased. “And now you’re trying to cover your mistake because you’re embarrassed I knew something and you didn’t.”
“I am not! I don’t get embarrassed!” he protested.
Donna made fun of him over tea and Bath Biscuits and it was then that the Doctor decided he didn’t care where he and Donna went next, he just hoped that it would somehow make Donna forget that the entire Jane Austen Fiasco (as he had started to call it in his head) had happened.
He let the TARDIS decide where to take them next, and that turned out to be New New York (which he was honestly getting a bit sick of). Although one thing that was different about this New New York was that it was in the middle of a mildly violent conflict between the new aristocracy (a group of the middle-class who had been more than happy to take over after what happened to the surface population had been revealed) and those that lived in the poverty-ridden lower half of the city.
It was the sort of situation the Doctor had seen a lot of. And perhaps he said some choice words to mass of protesters about steps they could take should they want to better their situation. And maybe he wouldn’t have said as much had he known that a spy for the aristocracy was in the crowd. And had he been listening to Donna, he would have heard her point out the police surging towards them.
As it was, he only heard her at the last second, so there were only a few minutes of running before they were caught and thrown into jail.
“It’s a nice jail,” the Doctor observed. “Nice white walls. Much cleaner than other jails I’ve been in. Well, a little bit cleaner. Well, maybe.”
“Yeah,” Donna rolled her eyes, “This is just wonderful.”
“It could be worse,” he pointed out.
“What could be worse than being stuck in a jail after spending a day in this rainy, dirty town?”
That was it. He’d had it with Donna. There was really no excuse for this sort of behavior, even if they were in jail. “What does it take to impress you?” the Doctor yelled, at the end of his rope. “I have taken you so many places, places that every other person I have travelled with would have loved, but no, you just hate everything. Why did you even want to come with me if you aren’t impressed by anything?”
Donna shrugged. “I was sick of my life at home and wanted a new one. I thought that if I came with you, then maybe I would finally get a chance to do be happy. And nothing I’ve seen has made me happy yet.” The Doctor stared at her, feeling as close to a breakthrough as may ever get with Donna. The feeling quickly disappeared when she said “And dingy little towns with rude aliens are certainly not going to make me happy.” Not noticing the Doctor’s angry expression, she asked “Does this happen often, this running-for-your-life-and-getting-in-prison-for-inciting-riots thing?”
“No,” the Doctor lied with a smile, “Not very often at all.”
It didn’t take very long for the Doctor to come up with a brilliant plan for their escape and return to the TARDIS. They were both starving (New New Earth’s prisons were not particularly well-known for their food) and Donna went to change while the Doctor set a new course.
The TARDIS landed in London during the late summer of 2245. They bought some chips and took them to a nearby park to eat. It was close to dinnertime, and the children in the park began to reluctantly file out. When Donna had finished her chips, she threw the paper into the bin and walked over to one of the abandoned swings. She turned back to look at the Doctor and said “Well, come on then!”
He followed her, not quite sure what she needed him for. He came to stand next to her, where she was closely examining the swings. “Do they work like the old ones?” she asked. These swings weren’t the chain-and-plastic variety that she would have grown up with. Instead, the seats were polished metal and were held by brightly colored, flexible tubes.
“Yup,” he said. Looking at him a little mistrustfully, Donna sat down on the nearest swing. As she started to swing back and forth, the Doctor prepared himself for the inevitable tirade on how boring the swings of the future were.
It never came. Donna just smiled as she started to go higher and higher. “Are you just going to stay there on the ground?” she challenged him as she glided past. The Doctor didn’t need much more encouragement than that. He had never been able to resist a toy.
They swung back and forth in companionable silence until Donna simply said “I like this.”
“I took you to Rome, Jupiter Five, Bath, and New New York, but what makes you happy?” the Doctor sighed. “A park.”
“My therapist told me that I have trouble seeing the big picture,” Donna offered.
“Your therapist,” the Doctor repeated, “Of course you have a therapist.”
“Started seeing him after the whole thing with Lance,” she said. “Well, not that therapist. The first one I told the whole story to and she thought I was crazy. I modified the story a bit for the second one."
“How does that work, exactly?"
“I just said that he was using me to get ahead at work.”
“That’s one way of putting it.” The Doctor paused for a moment and then carefully asked, “So have you just spent the past year on your own?”
“Pretty much,” Donna said, keeping her voice even. “Mum refused to talk to me for six months, the cow. Going to work just made me think of the whole thing with Lance so I didn’t like staying there for too long. I mostly stayed in and read a lot. It wasn’t bad, it was just lonely.”
The Doctor nodded; he understood the feeling. The sun was setting, making the metal on the playground glow a gentle orange. He knew that they should head back to the TARDIS soon, but he didn’t particularly want to leave.
“What about you,” Donna asked with a shy smile. “Did you ever find your Rose?”
“No,” he sighed, “I’m not really sure if she’s there to find, if you know what I mean.”
“Not at all.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I haven’t found her yet. I did have some friends travelling with me, but they didn’t stay. He had his own team to go back to, and she…needed some time away from me, I suppose.”
“You miss them, don’t you?” Donna asked softly.
“Yeah,” he answered, “But they’re both doing what they need to be doing. Earth needs them more than I do.”
“That’s like me with Lance,” she said. “I know I shouldn’t miss him, but every once and awhile that I miss the time we spent together.”
“Okay,” the Doctor said, “Except that no one I travelled with tried to feed me to a giant spider in the middle of the earth.”
“That’s just the details,” Donna shrugged. “You know, my therapist would absolutely love you.”
“Oh, I’m sure he has enough fun listening to you,” he muttered.
Donna didn’t hear; her face suddenly lit up and she slowed her swing. “I just saw an ice cream shop across the street. I could do with some sweets.” She turned to the Doctor, “Are the flavors all space-y in this century?”
“No, ice cream pretty much stays the same no matter what century you’re in.” the Doctor said.
“Well, that’s stupid.” The Doctor sighed, not very happy to have Complaining-Donna back again. “But,” she looked thoughtful, “That means there’s a pretty good chance of getting mint chocolate chip, right?”
“See, this is why I like vanilla,” the Doctor said as they walked towards the shop. “No matter where you go, there’s always a guarantee that they’ll have that.”
“Vanilla!” Donna looked scandalized. “You like vanilla?”
Donna began a rant about how people that liked vanilla were also automatically boring or worse, hiding something. The Doctor didn’t care. He had gotten closer to Donna and, even better, learned how to tune her out.