Rising from the ashes to troll a little bit!
Sad admission: I am a Los Angeles Kings fan. I have been for almost 20 years. I am also an Anaheim Ducks fan and do not see how this is, in any way, a conflict of interest. I'm a Buffalo Sabres fan too, does that mean I can't like any other team? I'm a New Jersey Devils fan as well! How can this be? The big difference between these 4 teams is that 3 of them are good and 1 of them positively sucks.
Kings fans have been sort of wearing on my nerves lately. There is so much fucking WHINING going on because the best team in the NHL this past year (the cross-town rival Anaheim Ducks) won the Stanley Cup. Why do you care so much? What is missing in your souls that rivalries like this mean something to you? I have to state something here and I'll do it plainly and in little words:
The Kings suck.
They've sucked since their inception. They've had a few really good seasons here and there (most notably with Barry Melrose or Andy Murray as coach) and have nothing really noteworthy to show for it. In 40 years they've managed to go to the finals once and tank. There's no need to offer me a history lesson here either, I saw the entire playoff run that year, and I know what happened. They were firmly in control of an inferior Montreal club and BOTCHED it. They should have won the Stanley Cup in 1993 and they did not. They could have won the Stanley Cup in 1994 except for one small problem: at their core, the Kings are a loser organization and they suck.
This doesn't mean I don't like them. In fact, I LOVE the Kings. If I go to a hockey game, it's always a Kings game. I always pull for them to win. They almost never do. It's OK! I don't expect any better from them. When I switch allegiances mid-game to their opponent, who does it hurt? The Kings? Do they somehow get a psychic vibe that someone a million miles above the ice in a $10 seat is mock-cheering the other team and collectively collapse? Fuck no.
Why the anti-Ducks bias anyway? Because Disney USED TO own them? Because they USED TO have a stupid name? Ancient fucking history, kids. I got over the stupid name and Disney connection the instant the team put Stu Grimson and Todd Ewen (big time goons for you non-hockey fans) in their lineup. For anyone keeping track of when this was, it was the team's inaugural lineup. Do you hate them because they have a funny mascot? Wild Wing is way cooler than Kingston (the Kings' openly homosexual cowardly lion mascot from the 80s and 90s). Do you hate them because they're simply better than the Kings? They are you know. The Ducks are immeasurably better than the Kings are. Any claims to the contrary are asinine.
Undeniable: The Ducks are better than the Kings have ever been.
Backing up this simple statement of mine are some numbers I've taken the time to compile...
The Kings, in 40 years, have won 55 playoff games total.
The Ducks, in 14 years, have won 44 playoff games total.
The Kings have won 10 playoff games since the Ducks came into the league.
The Ducks have won 16 playoff games in the last 2 months.
The Ducks have won the Stanley Cup.
The Kings have won a lot of pie eating contests.
Consider this story... You are the hero of this story. In this story, you have an extremely ugly, miserable, fat, smelly loser of a spouse who can't keep a job and is a constant source of sorrow for you. Do you stick with this person when someone in nice shape with a great job is there, totally open to having you in their life? If you stick with the disgusting shambling mess, you deserve your misery.
The Kings are the fat ugly girl of local NHL hockey. If you love her, that's awesome, but I'm staying with the sexy chick (pun intended) with nice tits and a Stanley Cup championship.
The Kings have just been officially eliminated from the 2007/08 NHL playoff race. *flush!*
Kings fans have been sort of wearing on my nerves lately. There is so much fucking WHINING going on because the best team in the NHL this past year (the cross-town rival Anaheim Ducks) won the Stanley Cup. Why do you care so much? What is missing in your souls that rivalries like this mean something to you? I have to state something here and I'll do it plainly and in little words:
The Kings suck.
They've sucked since their inception. They've had a few really good seasons here and there (most notably with Barry Melrose or Andy Murray as coach) and have nothing really noteworthy to show for it. In 40 years they've managed to go to the finals once and tank. There's no need to offer me a history lesson here either, I saw the entire playoff run that year, and I know what happened. They were firmly in control of an inferior Montreal club and BOTCHED it. They should have won the Stanley Cup in 1993 and they did not. They could have won the Stanley Cup in 1994 except for one small problem: at their core, the Kings are a loser organization and they suck.
This doesn't mean I don't like them. In fact, I LOVE the Kings. If I go to a hockey game, it's always a Kings game. I always pull for them to win. They almost never do. It's OK! I don't expect any better from them. When I switch allegiances mid-game to their opponent, who does it hurt? The Kings? Do they somehow get a psychic vibe that someone a million miles above the ice in a $10 seat is mock-cheering the other team and collectively collapse? Fuck no.
Why the anti-Ducks bias anyway? Because Disney USED TO own them? Because they USED TO have a stupid name? Ancient fucking history, kids. I got over the stupid name and Disney connection the instant the team put Stu Grimson and Todd Ewen (big time goons for you non-hockey fans) in their lineup. For anyone keeping track of when this was, it was the team's inaugural lineup. Do you hate them because they have a funny mascot? Wild Wing is way cooler than Kingston (the Kings' openly homosexual cowardly lion mascot from the 80s and 90s). Do you hate them because they're simply better than the Kings? They are you know. The Ducks are immeasurably better than the Kings are. Any claims to the contrary are asinine.
Undeniable: The Ducks are better than the Kings have ever been.
Backing up this simple statement of mine are some numbers I've taken the time to compile...
The Kings, in 40 years, have won 55 playoff games total.
The Ducks, in 14 years, have won 44 playoff games total.
The Kings have won 10 playoff games since the Ducks came into the league.
The Ducks have won 16 playoff games in the last 2 months.
The Ducks have won the Stanley Cup.
The Kings have won a lot of pie eating contests.
Consider this story... You are the hero of this story. In this story, you have an extremely ugly, miserable, fat, smelly loser of a spouse who can't keep a job and is a constant source of sorrow for you. Do you stick with this person when someone in nice shape with a great job is there, totally open to having you in their life? If you stick with the disgusting shambling mess, you deserve your misery.
The Kings are the fat ugly girl of local NHL hockey. If you love her, that's awesome, but I'm staying with the sexy chick (pun intended) with nice tits and a Stanley Cup championship.
The Kings have just been officially eliminated from the 2007/08 NHL playoff race. *flush!*