Back Yet Again
So here I am again, after another hiatus. I'm writing this on my new(ish) laptop. I just had it repaired, and there's a whole-ass story with that, but this post is gonna be long enough, and I gotta get some sleep soon, so I'll explain all that later.
The sex issue is still the same. I did meet up with a friend, and it was AMAZING. I had forgotten just how GOOD real sex could be!! But that was only once, and though we're still talking, we haven't managed to get together again. But I'm not pushing. In part, or mostly, because my teeth have gotten really bad, the last year or so. I finally got the courage up to go to the dentist, but my anxiety was so bad that they didn't even want to work on me, which I understand. They did give me a referral, to whoever I want to go to, that states I need sedation due to extreme anxiety. Problem is, my insurance doesn't cover sedation. And it also only covers 4 procedures a year, which is much less than I need. I tried to save a chunk of my taxes for this, but I don't think it'll be enough. And I have no credit, so I doubt if I could get approved for financing. So I don't know how I'm gonna get any work done.
S is still at the clinic, and recently got the paperwork put through to only go twice a week, so that's good. I don't know if his issues are better. I feel like they are, but maybe I'm just used to it. But I think maybe they are, a little. He's gone down on his dose, and is talking more and more about quitting. I hope he at least tries to, eventually. But I do like our Monday Fundays, as I call them, lol. They're our time to run errands and just be together, outside the house.
Colton will be SIXTEEN this year!! I am REALLY not ready for him to drive!!! But he's still the same sweet boy, he likes to cuddle and watch videos with me. And he still likes his games. We let him cuss now, in the house. I figured fuck it, I cuss like crazy, and he hears that. I was cussing at his age. I know he cusses with his friends. Still, I sometimes wish he wouldn't cuss so much. But oh well, what are you gonna do, you know? And he knows not to in public, or, especially, around Memaw, LOL!
She married George, by the way. They seem happy, and he's helped up a hell of a lot with our car. We have a 2017 GMC Terrain now, which has a whole-ass story with it too, but again, I'll expound on that in a later post.
I barely talk to my father anymore. But that's a whole 'nother story too, and his loss.
Oh, and I now have 20 tattoos, soon to be 21. And I love them all, lol.
I guess you could say the economy has recovered, to a point. Inflation is still rampant, and housing prices are astronomical, but at least most places are back open (the ones covid didn't kill, anyway), and the labor crisis isn't nearly as bad. Some places still have shorter hours, like Walmart never did go back to 24 hours, which sucks.
And I'm still at the same place of employment. But I'm trying to get the hell out of there. Which is really the reason I'm writing this right now, at 6:45 in the morning, and I should be getting some sleep. I have a job interview tomorrow, and I'm terrified.
Things were going great there until my favorite manager left. Then, another manager, my least favorite, started working second shift. Long story short, I stood up for myself against her, she got the GM to allow TWO writeups on me at one time, and ever since then, he has had a personal grudge against me. It started with him denying my yearly raise. Then he gave jobs I was supposed to get, to other people. But the straw that really broke the camel's back, was when he docked my paycheck 30 MINUTES, over a 4 MINUTE phone call. He has discriminated against me, retaliated against me, and now stolen my wages. Illegal as fuck, and I just have to sit there and let it happen, because all the other managers think it's okay, and he's over them anyway. I tried going to HIS boss, and she just ignored me. I'm going to go to HR, and OSHA. But right now I'm more focused on getting out of there.
I've put in probably 8 applications, and talked to two old friends. So far, I've gotten one ghosting, one immediate rejection, one interview offer which I didn't take because the pay was too low (which I may still ask about, if I have to, because I'm desperate now), and entirely blown one interview. I have another, somewhere else, tomorrow. And like I said, I'm terrified.
For one thing, this interview is at a sit down restaurant, which I haven't worked at one of those in 20 years, and it did NOT go well. For another, I HATE change, as it is. It's especially hard when I'm changing to something I'm really unfamiliar with.
But I know I HAVE to do this. Staying where I am isn't feasible anymore. My GM is doing everything he can to push me out. It's a lot like Culver's, just with less yelling and bullying, and a lot more passive aggression. I can't stay there and allow myself to continue to be abused, simply because it's familiar and "comfortable".
And this interview is for a dishwasher position. I KNOW I can do that. Hell, it's one of my favorite things to do, anywhere I've worked.
That's what I keep telling myself.
But I don't interview well, and a sit-down restaurant is very unfamiliar to me.
So I'm scared.
Anyway, I need to get off here. I just hoped writing this out would help my nerves. I'll try to update when I know how things went, and also maybe to add more detail.
Wish me luck, and say a prayer for me!!!!!!!!!!
The sex issue is still the same. I did meet up with a friend, and it was AMAZING. I had forgotten just how GOOD real sex could be!! But that was only once, and though we're still talking, we haven't managed to get together again. But I'm not pushing. In part, or mostly, because my teeth have gotten really bad, the last year or so. I finally got the courage up to go to the dentist, but my anxiety was so bad that they didn't even want to work on me, which I understand. They did give me a referral, to whoever I want to go to, that states I need sedation due to extreme anxiety. Problem is, my insurance doesn't cover sedation. And it also only covers 4 procedures a year, which is much less than I need. I tried to save a chunk of my taxes for this, but I don't think it'll be enough. And I have no credit, so I doubt if I could get approved for financing. So I don't know how I'm gonna get any work done.
S is still at the clinic, and recently got the paperwork put through to only go twice a week, so that's good. I don't know if his issues are better. I feel like they are, but maybe I'm just used to it. But I think maybe they are, a little. He's gone down on his dose, and is talking more and more about quitting. I hope he at least tries to, eventually. But I do like our Monday Fundays, as I call them, lol. They're our time to run errands and just be together, outside the house.
Colton will be SIXTEEN this year!! I am REALLY not ready for him to drive!!! But he's still the same sweet boy, he likes to cuddle and watch videos with me. And he still likes his games. We let him cuss now, in the house. I figured fuck it, I cuss like crazy, and he hears that. I was cussing at his age. I know he cusses with his friends. Still, I sometimes wish he wouldn't cuss so much. But oh well, what are you gonna do, you know? And he knows not to in public, or, especially, around Memaw, LOL!
She married George, by the way. They seem happy, and he's helped up a hell of a lot with our car. We have a 2017 GMC Terrain now, which has a whole-ass story with it too, but again, I'll expound on that in a later post.
I barely talk to my father anymore. But that's a whole 'nother story too, and his loss.
Oh, and I now have 20 tattoos, soon to be 21. And I love them all, lol.
I guess you could say the economy has recovered, to a point. Inflation is still rampant, and housing prices are astronomical, but at least most places are back open (the ones covid didn't kill, anyway), and the labor crisis isn't nearly as bad. Some places still have shorter hours, like Walmart never did go back to 24 hours, which sucks.
And I'm still at the same place of employment. But I'm trying to get the hell out of there. Which is really the reason I'm writing this right now, at 6:45 in the morning, and I should be getting some sleep. I have a job interview tomorrow, and I'm terrified.
Things were going great there until my favorite manager left. Then, another manager, my least favorite, started working second shift. Long story short, I stood up for myself against her, she got the GM to allow TWO writeups on me at one time, and ever since then, he has had a personal grudge against me. It started with him denying my yearly raise. Then he gave jobs I was supposed to get, to other people. But the straw that really broke the camel's back, was when he docked my paycheck 30 MINUTES, over a 4 MINUTE phone call. He has discriminated against me, retaliated against me, and now stolen my wages. Illegal as fuck, and I just have to sit there and let it happen, because all the other managers think it's okay, and he's over them anyway. I tried going to HIS boss, and she just ignored me. I'm going to go to HR, and OSHA. But right now I'm more focused on getting out of there.
I've put in probably 8 applications, and talked to two old friends. So far, I've gotten one ghosting, one immediate rejection, one interview offer which I didn't take because the pay was too low (which I may still ask about, if I have to, because I'm desperate now), and entirely blown one interview. I have another, somewhere else, tomorrow. And like I said, I'm terrified.
For one thing, this interview is at a sit down restaurant, which I haven't worked at one of those in 20 years, and it did NOT go well. For another, I HATE change, as it is. It's especially hard when I'm changing to something I'm really unfamiliar with.
But I know I HAVE to do this. Staying where I am isn't feasible anymore. My GM is doing everything he can to push me out. It's a lot like Culver's, just with less yelling and bullying, and a lot more passive aggression. I can't stay there and allow myself to continue to be abused, simply because it's familiar and "comfortable".
And this interview is for a dishwasher position. I KNOW I can do that. Hell, it's one of my favorite things to do, anywhere I've worked.
That's what I keep telling myself.
But I don't interview well, and a sit-down restaurant is very unfamiliar to me.
So I'm scared.
Anyway, I need to get off here. I just hoped writing this out would help my nerves. I'll try to update when I know how things went, and also maybe to add more detail.
Wish me luck, and say a prayer for me!!!!!!!!!!