Contemplations.
I hesitated at the backdoor. I know everyone had just gotten here. That they were all still trying to be settled down. I know Angel missed me. I saw it in his eyes and in his heart. It never needed to be said. The feeling would always be there; for the both of us. Part of that endless love that you read about. Still, it hurt. Guess it's supposed to, huh? What was that saying, 'if you love something, let it go. if it comes back to you it was meant to be. if not...' Oh hell, I don't know. But if that's the case, I have Spike and Angel, now. Which can't mesh at all. Both came back. Granted, Angel because they had nowhere else to turn to and Spike, because we ran into one another by sheer coincidence. Bet the Powers are just laughing this one up.
All this time alone, from the bath to now with my hand wrapped around the doorknob, made me think. Not that thinking always ever led me to the right decision, because right now, uh uh. I was stuck in the middle. Maybe I shouldn't be with either. Not like I could be with Angel, anyway. Not with him all able to go grr, and blood lust happy on us. Too many people in danger this time around. Not that last time was any different, because it wasn't. Jenny had been that one too many, alone.
Taking in a deep breath, I turned the knob and slipped out the backway. No one would notice I was leaving unless they happened to be in the kitchen, that was closed off from the lobby by a pair of thick swinging French styled doors and from the staircase by a simple key locked door against a frame. Slipping out the backdoor, I decided to finally settle on something, and the answer being that for now, I'd let Angel come with. If he could weasel his way from the others. So, he'd come with and then later, maybe near sunrise, I'd tell him, I have something else to do and to meet me at the complex. Leaving me able to see Spike, alone. As wrong as that was, I needed it. Yup, selfish Buffy once again. Maybe I'm not done baking and this is me still checking up on cookie baking me to make sure I don't burn?
Leaving the door open ajar, I slipped along the back wall, feet shifting along the dirt in a pair of low black heels under jeans. Cool air carried off from the water behind the fence made the air slightly more chilly than earlier, and hopefully able to carry more of my whisper of, "Angel.", inside the complex. It would be deaf to mortal hearing inside, but hopefully, amongst all the noise in there, Angel would be able to catch it and follow which direction it was coming from. He was stealthy, so something told me, he really would be able to get away from the others without a single one of them noticing until he and I both were blocks, if not miles, away. So, outside I waited. Pushing back unruly wet locks of hair from my face in hooking behind my ear.
(Tag Angel.)
All this time alone, from the bath to now with my hand wrapped around the doorknob, made me think. Not that thinking always ever led me to the right decision, because right now, uh uh. I was stuck in the middle. Maybe I shouldn't be with either. Not like I could be with Angel, anyway. Not with him all able to go grr, and blood lust happy on us. Too many people in danger this time around. Not that last time was any different, because it wasn't. Jenny had been that one too many, alone.
Taking in a deep breath, I turned the knob and slipped out the backway. No one would notice I was leaving unless they happened to be in the kitchen, that was closed off from the lobby by a pair of thick swinging French styled doors and from the staircase by a simple key locked door against a frame. Slipping out the backdoor, I decided to finally settle on something, and the answer being that for now, I'd let Angel come with. If he could weasel his way from the others. So, he'd come with and then later, maybe near sunrise, I'd tell him, I have something else to do and to meet me at the complex. Leaving me able to see Spike, alone. As wrong as that was, I needed it. Yup, selfish Buffy once again. Maybe I'm not done baking and this is me still checking up on cookie baking me to make sure I don't burn?
Leaving the door open ajar, I slipped along the back wall, feet shifting along the dirt in a pair of low black heels under jeans. Cool air carried off from the water behind the fence made the air slightly more chilly than earlier, and hopefully able to carry more of my whisper of, "Angel.", inside the complex. It would be deaf to mortal hearing inside, but hopefully, amongst all the noise in there, Angel would be able to catch it and follow which direction it was coming from. He was stealthy, so something told me, he really would be able to get away from the others without a single one of them noticing until he and I both were blocks, if not miles, away. So, outside I waited. Pushing back unruly wet locks of hair from my face in hooking behind my ear.
(Tag Angel.)