because I promised Matt I wouldn't, I'll do this
Last night things went bad, and unfortunatly what do people do when one thing happens? Totally misconsrude things way out of perportion and now I have to work fast to save what few friends I have. Now if anyone bothers to fully read this maybe they can understand my side.
I went out last night with my roomate/friend Victoria. She was invited to a party by a guy she met but was scared to go alone, so I went as back up. Normal girl friend thing to do right? Well right before I left I was hasseled by someone to tell them where I was going. Half the fun of going someplace new is keeping it a secret and I'm not naive enough to believe that what we we're doing couldn't go wrong. I also knew that if I told this person exactly what I was doing he would be hurt, does he have any reason to be hurt? Not in my book. I wasn't going there looking for a guy nor did I do anything with anyone. I had some drinks, was there for my girl and then we left. End of story, right? Only if this was going to be a nice night. Turns out I was wrong and this 'someone' doesnt trust me and he got beyond pissed. So not even ten minutes after I've left campus I got a call saying don't come back right now because he was soo mad. Its the mistrust in him that really hurts. I can't tell people everything and very few people ever do. I just didnt want to lie to him because I promised him over two months ago that I would never ever lie to him, I was trying to keep that promise. So in the mists of all of this me and victoria got lost and called tony for directions, he was the only person we called(this is important for later on). I get a call from a female someone five minutes after I've hung up with tony finally now on the right track. This person walked away from all others to have this conversation with me and I understand why now, thank goodness victoria was right next to me so she could hear the whole thing. She said how dare I call him? You need to stay away from me. And then proceeded to call me a bitch. Confused, hurt and now upset victoria tried to do damage control because neither one of us understanded. Why can't I call our friend tony whom we've known since the first day here and who we introduced her to a couple weeks ago? So yet again back on campus rumors are going around like crazy and I'm trying not to be my way agian. Me and V finally make it to our destination and we try to have some fun and relax. Basically we talked, had some drinks, found out that this normally nice guy is a jerk and we left. Did I do anything else? no. Did I try to hook up with anyone? no. Do I want to? no. So then on the way back I get a call from one of the few people who is still my friend after breaking up with a really great guy because I needed to focus on what I came up here to do which is school and my health. My friend told me that she'd been hearing alot of stuff and she wanted to make sure I was ok. I knew things were beyond bad at school if she was calling me to ask this. So take all this drama, stir in wild emotions and don't forget to add alcohol and what to you get? A very emotional me who broke down crying.
No matter what I do its wrong. So I'm back at campus and I called Matt because he is the person I can trust and can talk to about certain things. He calmed me down a bit and listened to my side of the story and offered to help straighten things out when people weren't so drunk. I agreed slowly and promised him something. Now I'm the type of person who takes promises very seriously and I will not go back on one once I've made it. - Matt I'm trying so hard to keep my promise...its just really hard. I don't know how much longer I can hold on.
Then at six in the morning I wake up and decide to go to the bathroom, who should be down the hall but the girl who called me a bitch. I walked into the bathroom and tried to do my buisness. She followed me in there an proceeded to talk to me. I asked her to let me be. She followed me round and out of the bathroom and back to my room. To this person I honestly can't talk to you right now. Oh and FYI dorm doors aren't sound prof.
So to certain people who are my friends I can't thank you for standing by me. To the person I really hope reads this and understands, its because I care that I keep my promises and I try not to hurt you. To V, thank you so much for last night, I'm sorry you ended up backing me up instead of the way it started.