dhang.
dhang.
so i always get all excited when i hop on here and there are new entries from all my homies. conversely, it hurts me heart when i have to go some days with nothing new :) so i thought to myself: "self, why don't YOU make a new entry? it's the least you can do." and then i thought "self, that is a supergood idea."
so i'm going to spill my guts about everything going on in my head right now. i have a lot of disjointed crap, so that's exactly how it's going to all come out. i'll try to at least put some spaces between subjects...but there are no promises.
so first things on my mind at thins minute have to do with money. we're leaving for hawaii the day after tomorrow, which is almost unfair to say because really tomorrow is the last productive day that i'll have cause we leave so effing early on thursday. so if i want to get a season pass to board, i need to buy it before i go cause the coupon i have is only good until the 28th, and well, i will be gone until december 2nd. so that is up there. then also, i have a consolidation loan that i applied for through college invest before the rates went up, and recently i got some mail that there is something else i need to do, and i was just relaizing on the way to work today that i still haven't done it. i need to do it this afternoon and just get it off my conscience. need to make my car payment. need to pay a couple other bills. need more money in general.
i'm all turned around right now about everything with aj. it's so weird. it's all just weird. more than anything i just want to talk to him, to see him, to know that he's doing ok. all this shit that's gone on...none of it means that i don't care about him, that i don't want him to be doing well. and not in a selfish way like i can feel better if i know he's alright...but more like i just honestly want to know how he is. i still care about him deeply, and it matters to me what's going on with him, just the same as it would for any of my friends. i miss him. its setting in. i miss being cared about the way he did. there is plenty i don't miss, and plenty i do. ugh.
and i miss brogan. and i'm going to miss all my friends and george and his friends and his house when i'm gone. that's just the way it is...and the trip will go too fast and i'm not NOT looking forward to the vacation. but i always get sad to leave my peeps. and it always makes the end of a trip more palatable because i know i'm coming home to see them :)
so i always get all excited when i hop on here and there are new entries from all my homies. conversely, it hurts me heart when i have to go some days with nothing new :) so i thought to myself: "self, why don't YOU make a new entry? it's the least you can do." and then i thought "self, that is a supergood idea."
so i'm going to spill my guts about everything going on in my head right now. i have a lot of disjointed crap, so that's exactly how it's going to all come out. i'll try to at least put some spaces between subjects...but there are no promises.
so first things on my mind at thins minute have to do with money. we're leaving for hawaii the day after tomorrow, which is almost unfair to say because really tomorrow is the last productive day that i'll have cause we leave so effing early on thursday. so if i want to get a season pass to board, i need to buy it before i go cause the coupon i have is only good until the 28th, and well, i will be gone until december 2nd. so that is up there. then also, i have a consolidation loan that i applied for through college invest before the rates went up, and recently i got some mail that there is something else i need to do, and i was just relaizing on the way to work today that i still haven't done it. i need to do it this afternoon and just get it off my conscience. need to make my car payment. need to pay a couple other bills. need more money in general.
i'm all turned around right now about everything with aj. it's so weird. it's all just weird. more than anything i just want to talk to him, to see him, to know that he's doing ok. all this shit that's gone on...none of it means that i don't care about him, that i don't want him to be doing well. and not in a selfish way like i can feel better if i know he's alright...but more like i just honestly want to know how he is. i still care about him deeply, and it matters to me what's going on with him, just the same as it would for any of my friends. i miss him. its setting in. i miss being cared about the way he did. there is plenty i don't miss, and plenty i do. ugh.
and i miss brogan. and i'm going to miss all my friends and george and his friends and his house when i'm gone. that's just the way it is...and the trip will go too fast and i'm not NOT looking forward to the vacation. but i always get sad to leave my peeps. and it always makes the end of a trip more palatable because i know i'm coming home to see them :)