Family and distance
Today I woke up feeling somehow...amiss, physically. Tingley, still tired, despite what should have been a good rest.
I cleaned up and went to Jeremy Thomason's wedding. It blew me away on so many levels...my old friend, almost a brother, getting married. Seeing his entire family again was wonderful and nostalgic; I can't even begin to recount all the old stories we told, or how many times I was asked about myself and life in general. It was something, seeing everyone so much older, and yet the spirit of family being so strong with them all. They even made me get into all the family shots and things, it was touching. Need to see them more often. Two random things while I was there...the photographer had the Canon EOS 20D which I've been drooling for, and we talked about it for awhile. I'm such a little kid about it, iwantiwantiwant! But it's for good and productive reasons which happen to be fun, so yay, can't wait. The other thing? I took a shot of many piles of leaves, cleaned up neatly and held securely in over a dozen garbage bags. There's some sick irony in that.
Moulton's bachelor party is tonight, but I don't feel up to going. I keep almost passing out...don't know if I need to eat, sleep, or exercise better. All three, just to be sure. I feel so...distant from everything, everyone right now. After the wonderful wedding, I went to my parents' to give The Boy his GameCube to replace his old broken one, whee. He had his three parakeets flying freely about the room, which was actually very cool. After grabbing another handful of parsley from the dense shrub of it out front, I whisked inside again and talked with Mom for a bit about things. She told me my Aunt Seale has a day to live due to a stroke. She's very old, it's her time, so don't get too bent out of shape, I'm not. I would be lying though if I said it didn't affect me at all, cuz it made me remember the times we spent together, and how truly kind she was. She and my Grandma Kendall were very close...so I went to go visit Grandma. Turns out she doesn't know, but I wasn't about to tell a 94 year old woman one of her closest friends was about to die. Our talk was almost equally morbid, ranging from her sores and such on her feet that seem to keep coming up, to giving away her things (if anyone needs a car for next to nothing, and has the ego or lack thereof to drive a Chevette, talk to me btw), to just how lonely she is, pretty much waiting for anyone to visit her or to just pass on. She had just cleaned her house by herself too, always a trooper to the end. So after saying goodbye, I just walked outside and was mesmerized by the clear night sky behind her house, over the woods, as I had been so many times throughout my life. It was beyond question the most hollow and alone I have ever felt.
So I'm off to get over this funk now with Allen by DDRing the night away. I have also recently made appointments to speak with a doctor about..."fixing" something, and looking into martial arts classes, though I don't really have an appointment set to go visit; just have to drop in. So I have things to look forward to, even little things like seeing Erin again and such. It's funny how sometimes the smallest things are the most important, isn't it?
I cleaned up and went to Jeremy Thomason's wedding. It blew me away on so many levels...my old friend, almost a brother, getting married. Seeing his entire family again was wonderful and nostalgic; I can't even begin to recount all the old stories we told, or how many times I was asked about myself and life in general. It was something, seeing everyone so much older, and yet the spirit of family being so strong with them all. They even made me get into all the family shots and things, it was touching. Need to see them more often. Two random things while I was there...the photographer had the Canon EOS 20D which I've been drooling for, and we talked about it for awhile. I'm such a little kid about it, iwantiwantiwant! But it's for good and productive reasons which happen to be fun, so yay, can't wait. The other thing? I took a shot of many piles of leaves, cleaned up neatly and held securely in over a dozen garbage bags. There's some sick irony in that.
Moulton's bachelor party is tonight, but I don't feel up to going. I keep almost passing out...don't know if I need to eat, sleep, or exercise better. All three, just to be sure. I feel so...distant from everything, everyone right now. After the wonderful wedding, I went to my parents' to give The Boy his GameCube to replace his old broken one, whee. He had his three parakeets flying freely about the room, which was actually very cool. After grabbing another handful of parsley from the dense shrub of it out front, I whisked inside again and talked with Mom for a bit about things. She told me my Aunt Seale has a day to live due to a stroke. She's very old, it's her time, so don't get too bent out of shape, I'm not. I would be lying though if I said it didn't affect me at all, cuz it made me remember the times we spent together, and how truly kind she was. She and my Grandma Kendall were very close...so I went to go visit Grandma. Turns out she doesn't know, but I wasn't about to tell a 94 year old woman one of her closest friends was about to die. Our talk was almost equally morbid, ranging from her sores and such on her feet that seem to keep coming up, to giving away her things (if anyone needs a car for next to nothing, and has the ego or lack thereof to drive a Chevette, talk to me btw), to just how lonely she is, pretty much waiting for anyone to visit her or to just pass on. She had just cleaned her house by herself too, always a trooper to the end. So after saying goodbye, I just walked outside and was mesmerized by the clear night sky behind her house, over the woods, as I had been so many times throughout my life. It was beyond question the most hollow and alone I have ever felt.
So I'm off to get over this funk now with Allen by DDRing the night away. I have also recently made appointments to speak with a doctor about..."fixing" something, and looking into martial arts classes, though I don't really have an appointment set to go visit; just have to drop in. So I have things to look forward to, even little things like seeing Erin again and such. It's funny how sometimes the smallest things are the most important, isn't it?