Looking Through The Glass
I got down to thinking tonight about a bunch of random things. Mainly certain aspects of my life that somehow should be, well, different. I mean, don't get me wrong, I've led an amazing life thus far and I wouldn't trade any of it for the world. Okay, maybe one or two little mistakes I've made, but I digress. My life has been fantastic. But some things should and should have been different.
The first thing that should be different is my choice of career. Sure I want to work in the Criminal Justice field. But I don't want to be your run of the mill cop, or someone who sits at a desk and writes reports. I want to be out there really helping people. Yes, I understand that cop's do help people. But a lot of people scrutinize those officers in certain situations. Let's go back a month or so ago. A man was being chased by the Boston Police through a certain section of Mattapan. There was one officer chasing on foot, the other went and called for backup. The suspect ran into a back yard where there was a BBQ going on, or some sort of party. The officer tackled the suspect in this party. Now, usually what occurs, is the officer may get some help from a good samaritan, maybe by calling the cops to tell them where this is going on, or help the cop with the suspect. But in this case, somewhat of the opposite happened. The people at this party threw cans full of soda/beer, keys and everything else AT the police officer. The suspect ended up getting away and someone at the party stole the cop's cell phone. Long story short, the cop got the guy again (mind you this cop is a rookie) and goes back and asks for his cell phone. Why in god's name would I want to work here, and be chastized by people for running someone down who committed a crime? I want to help people, not get the shit beat out of me when I'm trying to do that. Honestly, I wish I could work in the Special Victim's section of the law enforcement where the people I captured are the people we want to see in jail the most. The sexual offenders, the pedifiles, rapists, etc, etc. That would be a dream of mine.
The second thing is, well, I wish I saved money over the years. Now I saw all the time that money is just an object, you aren't going to be buried with it, so why have it in the first place. And I'll live by that saying forever. But I've been foolish in spending my money. Seriously, what was I thinking? I should have at least saved for after college if I didn't find a job right away (I still haven't). My own foolish mistake. But I'll still spend the money I have, but only on myself and the people that I think deserve it most. And there's one person I can think of off the top of my head, but thats about it. You likve and learn I guess.
Actually that's all I wish I would have changed or be different. I thought there was more, but I'm sure either some people would get really offended by things I would have changed, or just not give a shit. To be honest, I couldn't give a shit what people thought about me. As long as I am happy, and those around me are happy, who cares about their petty nonsense. Makes me think back to that time when everyone got along SO well, then one day, out of the clear blue, a "big bang" so to speak ravaged its way through my life. Distanced from some, apart from others. I kind of miss those days where things were calm and peaceful. But I guess I have to thank god that it happened, because if it hadn't, I wouldn't be the person that I am today. I'll end this wicked long (sorry) entry with this lyric from the song "The Kill (Bury Me)" by 30 Seconds to Mars...
"I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am."
The first thing that should be different is my choice of career. Sure I want to work in the Criminal Justice field. But I don't want to be your run of the mill cop, or someone who sits at a desk and writes reports. I want to be out there really helping people. Yes, I understand that cop's do help people. But a lot of people scrutinize those officers in certain situations. Let's go back a month or so ago. A man was being chased by the Boston Police through a certain section of Mattapan. There was one officer chasing on foot, the other went and called for backup. The suspect ran into a back yard where there was a BBQ going on, or some sort of party. The officer tackled the suspect in this party. Now, usually what occurs, is the officer may get some help from a good samaritan, maybe by calling the cops to tell them where this is going on, or help the cop with the suspect. But in this case, somewhat of the opposite happened. The people at this party threw cans full of soda/beer, keys and everything else AT the police officer. The suspect ended up getting away and someone at the party stole the cop's cell phone. Long story short, the cop got the guy again (mind you this cop is a rookie) and goes back and asks for his cell phone. Why in god's name would I want to work here, and be chastized by people for running someone down who committed a crime? I want to help people, not get the shit beat out of me when I'm trying to do that. Honestly, I wish I could work in the Special Victim's section of the law enforcement where the people I captured are the people we want to see in jail the most. The sexual offenders, the pedifiles, rapists, etc, etc. That would be a dream of mine.
The second thing is, well, I wish I saved money over the years. Now I saw all the time that money is just an object, you aren't going to be buried with it, so why have it in the first place. And I'll live by that saying forever. But I've been foolish in spending my money. Seriously, what was I thinking? I should have at least saved for after college if I didn't find a job right away (I still haven't). My own foolish mistake. But I'll still spend the money I have, but only on myself and the people that I think deserve it most. And there's one person I can think of off the top of my head, but thats about it. You likve and learn I guess.
Actually that's all I wish I would have changed or be different. I thought there was more, but I'm sure either some people would get really offended by things I would have changed, or just not give a shit. To be honest, I couldn't give a shit what people thought about me. As long as I am happy, and those around me are happy, who cares about their petty nonsense. Makes me think back to that time when everyone got along SO well, then one day, out of the clear blue, a "big bang" so to speak ravaged its way through my life. Distanced from some, apart from others. I kind of miss those days where things were calm and peaceful. But I guess I have to thank god that it happened, because if it hadn't, I wouldn't be the person that I am today. I'll end this wicked long (sorry) entry with this lyric from the song "The Kill (Bury Me)" by 30 Seconds to Mars...
"I tried to be someone else
But nothing seemed to change
I know now, this is who I really am inside.
Finally found myself
Fighting for a chance.
I know now, this is who I really am."