it has been a long time since i used this
I want a new life. I am sick of my situation that i call life, it sucks, its lonely, and im never happy. I thought we solved shit at the appartment but here it is at 1:30 on labor day and im awake because i cant get to sleep due to noise. Ive asked them to turn it down, they do, then forget im sleeping and turn it back up. I sleep about an average of 20-25 hours during the weekdays, ive grown used to this. Fight Club taught me insomnia cannot kill a man, so hopefully ill be fine.
I want out of vermont and out of my group of friends as bad as it sounds, because so much bullshit happens that i could go insane. Im sick of being used, disrespected, and pissed on. I am going to snap. I dont picture myself in this scene with these kids at my house anymore. I dont see myself in the same group of friends as the ones ive known since high school. Matt Folts is the only friend ive had that has known me to the fullest extent and has always been there to help me. I get so stressed out that i want to punch myself in the face to use pain to forget about the stress. This stress you cant ignore, ive tried.
I look forward to my job but i think the chance of me sticking around in vt for 4 years to get a journeymens is slim to none. I will leave this shithole before i am 22. I hate this place, winter is coming and all i want to do is give up. Bills, girls, friends, and responsibilty. It is too much to handle and it sucks because no one else seems responsible like me, yet they dont get stressed.
You know things get bad when you are willing to throw your life away at 20 and move thousands of miles away just to start over. Its the same shit in this state all the time, nothing to do, nowhere to go, fucking trees everywhere. I want to see a town where you can actually make money and have stuff to do. I want to see a place not like vt, vt is full of assholes that dont make sense to me.
People dont understand this feeling. The feeling that this is all vermont has to offer me?? if this is it then fuck this, fuck this place and the people here. The only way to survive in this time is to care about yourself. I know this because everytime ive tried to care about someone its bit me in the ass. love is an over rated and misused word. thats my opinion because it is true.
I cant wait to have an anxiety attack this week, i know its coming and i love freaking out in the morning til the point i just cant move. Best feeling in the world.
maybe ill take it out on one of my roomates this week or maybe ill just get in my car and drive. I could do that and just forget everything here and start over. that would be nice.
what the fuck is up with me.
what the fuck do i need to do to kick this feeling
its not as simple as saying dont stress
i dont know what i need to do anymore.
this sucks
I want out of vermont and out of my group of friends as bad as it sounds, because so much bullshit happens that i could go insane. Im sick of being used, disrespected, and pissed on. I am going to snap. I dont picture myself in this scene with these kids at my house anymore. I dont see myself in the same group of friends as the ones ive known since high school. Matt Folts is the only friend ive had that has known me to the fullest extent and has always been there to help me. I get so stressed out that i want to punch myself in the face to use pain to forget about the stress. This stress you cant ignore, ive tried.
I look forward to my job but i think the chance of me sticking around in vt for 4 years to get a journeymens is slim to none. I will leave this shithole before i am 22. I hate this place, winter is coming and all i want to do is give up. Bills, girls, friends, and responsibilty. It is too much to handle and it sucks because no one else seems responsible like me, yet they dont get stressed.
You know things get bad when you are willing to throw your life away at 20 and move thousands of miles away just to start over. Its the same shit in this state all the time, nothing to do, nowhere to go, fucking trees everywhere. I want to see a town where you can actually make money and have stuff to do. I want to see a place not like vt, vt is full of assholes that dont make sense to me.
People dont understand this feeling. The feeling that this is all vermont has to offer me?? if this is it then fuck this, fuck this place and the people here. The only way to survive in this time is to care about yourself. I know this because everytime ive tried to care about someone its bit me in the ass. love is an over rated and misused word. thats my opinion because it is true.
I cant wait to have an anxiety attack this week, i know its coming and i love freaking out in the morning til the point i just cant move. Best feeling in the world.
maybe ill take it out on one of my roomates this week or maybe ill just get in my car and drive. I could do that and just forget everything here and start over. that would be nice.
what the fuck is up with me.
what the fuck do i need to do to kick this feeling
its not as simple as saying dont stress
i dont know what i need to do anymore.
this sucks