(no subject)
Code Fourteen, Rose/Ten II, PG-13
"We're seriously going to hunt for a vampire? Part of being a Torchwood agent involves vampire hunting? As in... hunting... for vampires?" She offered him a hand, grin not wavering. He took it and sighed. "If you're having me on, you're sleeping on the sofa tonight." (6300 words)
"A possible code fourteen in progress means what?"
"You heard me."
"But... but... what? That's ridiculous!"
"That's Torchwood."
That, the Doctor had to concede, was a fair statement. Still, when he'd said he wanted to go out with Rose on what she joking called her 'rounds' he'd not expected... not expected... well, this. He'd actually been torn between hoping something entertainingly dramatic and only dangerous enough to get a bit of adrenaline flowing would happen, and hoping nothing at all would happen so they could park in some out-of-the-way spot and have a bit of a snog.
Rose was grinning, though, so maybe this was a practical joke.
She parked the car on the side of the street and hopped out. The Doctor followed her, looking up and down the road. It was a bit of a run-down area, a terrace of ghastly-looking sixties houses on the other side of the road and a few shops on theirs. Well, a few had-been shops. From the looks of it only the newsagent and the pub were still open, the rest were boarded shut and covered in graffiti.
A couple of locals gave them looks that were a mix of suspicion and curiosity. Everybody knew who Rose Tyler was though, and what she did, so they all kept well back. In fact, most of them started to walk away in a purposeful manner.
The Doctor headed around to the boot of the car where Rose was arming herself. The gun she carried these days was standard issue and the Doctor was so far keeping his internal conflict silent (he knew he could trust her of all people, but a gun?). A code fourteen, however, required some... specialist equipment.
She handed him a water pistol and added a similar one to her belt holster. The Doctor held is dubiously and raised an eyebrow at her.
"You're telling me holy water really works?"
"It's not holy water," she said. "Not really. It turns out water stored in the fonts of those churches would end up with certain chemicals in it that they don't like. That's probably where the legend came from."
Then she handed him a torch. He looked at it, flicked it on and instantly screwed his eyes shut and turned it off, wincing.
"Blimey, I think I just gave myself a bit of a tan," he said. He squinted at the torch. "UV light? That's pretty good." He paused. "Wait, all of this really does work?"
"Well there's loads of creatures sensitive to sunlight," said Rose, altogether too reasonably.
"You're not going to ask me to carry garlic or a cross, are you?"
Rose laughed and shook her head. Then she reached back into the boot and picked out...
"You are joking," said the Doctor.
"It's something about the wood," she said, shrugging. Then she attached the wooden stake to her belt and shoved another up her sleeve. She didn't offer him one, for which he was glad.
"Ready, then?" she asked, shutting the boot and turning to him.
"We're seriously going to hunt for a vampire? Part of being a Torchwood agent involves vampire hunting? As in... hunting... for vampires?" She offered him a hand, grin not wavering. He took it and sighed. "If you're having me on, you're sleeping on the sofa tonight."
"Is it really so hard to believe, after all you've seen?"
"Well no, not exactly. But you're not talking a plasmavore, are you? You're talking a real life, honest to god vampire."
The Torchwood message had directed them to this particular row of shops and they studied them to find the most recent signs of a break in. It wasn't particularly easy, since it looked like all of them had been broken into at least once in the near history.
"It's this alien virus, as best we can tell," said Rose, carefully pressing in the wooden board on a window to see if it gave. "We haven't traced how it got here yet - whether it was on a meteor or a ship or what, but Tony - one of the Torchwood historians - reckons you can trace back all the vampire legends to this virus."
"So it makes people sensitive to sunlight and the chemicals in holy water? And kills them if you drive a stake through their heart? Although that's true of most people, let's be honest."
Rose nodded. "And they're stronger and faster than regular humans, of course."
"Oh, of course," he muttered, and she elbowed him.
"And they drink blood."
"Oh, yes." He'd been rather ignoring that aspect, which was a bit daft of him. Why else would they be called vampires?
Rose stepped back from the shop front she'd been expecting and nodded. "This is the one. Can you sonic the door?"
Inside it was cool and dark. The only light came from the cracks in the boarded up windows.
"What does Torchwood do with vampires?" whispered the Doctor. It was the sort of creepy atmosphere that needed whispering. "Round them up? Kill them?"
"Mostly we just give them a caution and tell them to stop scaring the humans," replied Rose.
"You... what?"
He felt her stifled giggle rather than heard it.
"Most of them are just normal people who got infected with the virus," she said. "As long as they don't bite anyone and get their food from the meat counter at Tesco, they're harmless."
"So why the holy water?" he asked dubiously.
"Vampirism attracts a few... people who get infected on purpose and use it as an excuse to go around draining people," she said bitterly. "They always go on about how they've 'lost their soul' or whatever when they go to trial, and never just own up to just being murderers."
The Doctor winced and squeezed her hand. "Come on, Buffy," he said lightly. "Let's go and sort this out."
He could just see enough of her face in the darkness to see her shoot him a small smile.
They headed up back through the darkened and empty shop, using the non-UV setting on the torches to check around corners ("Better to start things off on a good foot and not blind them," Rose had murmured).
The ground floor was empty, but behind a door they found a set of stairs leading upwards. If he strained to listen, the Doctor was sure he could hear a creak above their heads.
They were half way up the stairs before a thought occurred to him.
"Hang on," he said. Rose shushed him and he realised he'd spoken normally and clamped his mouth shut before starting again in a whisper. "Hang on, I've been here four months now. How is this the first I've heard of the fact that this world has vampires living amongst you? Alien vampires, at that."
"Well do you ever watch the political news?"
"No, but-"
"Or sometimes the business news, actually. Two months ago the Association of British Butchers issued a statement condemning Torchwood for trying to find a cure and saying vampires could coexist perfectly peacefully with humans and the butchers of Britain could cater for any blood needed."
The Doctor blinked. "You're serious?"
"Told you, most of them are just normal people. The virus gives them these abilities and means they have to work the night shift and seems to stop them from aging. Torchwood are working on a cure because nobody knows what the long term effects are since this most recent outbreak was only ten years ago. Historically when there's an outbreak they've all been killed, but we can't just do that without any good reason. Mostly the only newsworthy thing vampires do is get involved in the political campaign for their rights."
"Has it occurred to you that this is completely bonkers?" he said. "And please bear in mind this is me saying that."
She laughed quietly. "It's a big universe, Doctor," she said, and he could hear her grin. "There's gotta be at least a dozen species of alien you've never heard of."
"Well... maybe," he conceded.
They continued their creep up the stairs in silence. There was definitely someone or something up here - the Doctor could hear muffled sounds through the walls. Up ahead he could also see the flickering of light, not bright enough to be a fire but definitely some sort of open flame.
Another step, and the metal tang of blood washed over him.
"Blood," he whispered to Rose. She nodded, and flicked off her torch. He did the same.
The top of the stairs opened into a hallway, lit only by a couple of dribbling candles. Ahead of them a wooden door hung open, through which more flickering light spilled. The blood smell was stronger here, and there were a few dark drops spilled on the wooden floor. The Doctor was sure he could hear the faint strains of organ music playing now that they got closer. The muffled sounds up ahead had become two voices - one male and one female - but he couldn't distinguish the individual words.
Rose narrowed her eyes. "I've got a bad feeling about this," she muttered.
The Doctor tightened his grip on his torch and patted his pocket to check the holy water was still there. In the silence, his heart had started to thud rather loudly, as the sick smell of blood only became sharper and sharper.
By the door was a small puddle of the stuff, dark sticky red, as though whoever it was had paused, holding their victim still while they unlocked the door.
Here, Rose stopped moving forward and listened for a moment. A laugh with a certain childish ring to it seemed to be all she needed before she straightened up, strode forward and shoved open the door. That hadn't quite been what the Doctor had expected and he hurried after her.
By first glance, the room was exactly as he'd been expecting. It was almost completely dark except for more candles dotted around the room, some of them at strategic points on a weird sort of sigil that the Doctor didn't recognise draw in chalk on the floor. In the centre of the sigil was a puddle of blood. The two cloaked vampires sat opposite each other on either side of it: deathly pale, with dark eyes and bloody red lips. The male was holding a shiny silver dagger that sparkled in the candlelight and the female was watching, clearly part way through some sort of ritual. And in the background, the strains of the music reached their dramatic crescendo...
Second glance revealed things were perhaps not quite as they seemed. For a start, the organ music was playing on an iPod. An iPod whose screensaver appeared to be a dramatically flickering candle. The rest of the candles were real enough, but at least two of them were shaped like the numbers "1" and "9" from someone's birthday cake. The Latin words scrawled around the sigil spelled out the Hogwarts motto, presumably because the designer's knowledge of Latin was a little suspect. Now that he listened properly, the music was actually a badly played organ version of Darth Vader's march from Star Wars. The dagger sparkled too much to be real.
The blood was real enough, but a quick glance around the room showed a carrier bag with "Sunbury Butchers" on the side.
Oh. Well then. That was almost a letdown. Especially after all that sneaking.
The two vampires were both in their teens. Or at least, they looked still in their teens. If Rose was right about the aging stopping, the Doctor supposed they could be older. He just found himself hoping that nobody older than a teenager would go to the painstaking trouble of creating such a stupid ritual.
"Whthhell?" said the girl as the pair looked up to see who had interrupted them. "Whreyou?"
"Sorry, what?" said Rose.
The girl sighed dramatically and spat out her fangs into her hand. "Who. Are. You?" she enunciated carefully, as though Rose was the stupid one in this conversation. "Wait, oh my god, I recognise you. You're Rose Tyler!"
The Doctor gaped. "You're... a fake vampire?" he said. Now that he studied the girl closely, the pale face looked an awful lot like a thick layer of makeup.
Rose sighed. "She's a regular human," she said. "He's not. Hello, Sidney."
"Rose! How many times do I have to tell you, my name is not Sidney. It is... the Count." Sidney spoke with a bit of a lisp, presumably due to the fangs. "I knew you wouldn't be able to keep away though."
"That's my job, Sidney," said Rose, exasperated. "You're breaking and entering. Again."
"No door is shut to the children of the night!" he said.
"No door is shut to anyone who brings a big enough crowbar," said Rose. "Who's your girlfriend?"
"I am Countess Lilith Desdemona von Shakespeare!" announced the girl.
"Von... Shakespeare?" managed the Doctor. "Wait, you're human, but you're dress like a... like... that-" the girl was wearing all black, including some very high and spiky stilettos, "are you here to get bitten or something?"
Countess Lilith Desdemona von Shakespeare shrugged. "So what if I am?" she said. "I'm old enough! I don't want to spend the rest of my life getting older while the Count stays young and beautiful!"
A few months ago, those words would have been enough to stop the Doctor in his tracks. Now though, he felt an odd rush of pity for Sidney and his ilk. Rose had said nobody knew the long term effects - what if there really were a race of almost-immortals walking the Earth? Torchwood definitely needed to find a cure before anyone realised what sort of life that would be.
He was about to express that pity to Sidney when the boy himself piped up.
"See, Rose, see! I could have any woman I wanted. I don't need you."
Somewhere between the Doctor's brain and his mouth, the words of sympathy for Sidney became: "You think he's beautiful?" addressed at Lilith (or whatever her real name was).
Lilith was staring at Sidney after that outburst. "What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded.
"Sidney," said Rose, in a tone of voice that suggested she was trying to let him down gently. "I've told you before, I'm not interested in you. At all."
"Well why not?" demanded Sidney.
"Well for starters you're too young for me," said Rose. The Doctor was sure she could have come up with something stronger like 'You aren't the Doctor, who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and who doesn't expect me to wear half a tonne of talcum powder and break into buildings except when breaking into buildings is fun or useful in saving the world'. He wasn't sure he liked this Sidney bloke much.
"I! Too young! I who have been a terror of the underworld for hundreds of y-"
"Sidney, I've read your file," said Rose. "You were turned when you were seventeen, all of three years ago."
The Doctor sniggered.
"What?" snapped Lilith. "You told me you were four hundred. You said you'd survived from a previous outbreak! You said you'd hidden from vampire hunters for centuries!"
"I thought age was just a number!" protested Sidney.
"It is when you're four hundred!" said Lilith. "When you're some scummy nineteen year old who can't get a girl his own age. Oh and Rose Tyler? Get with you? Puh-lease. If she wanted a vampire she'd get one who was actually four hundred."
The Doctor felt a sudden and rather strong craving for a comfy chair and some popcorn. He was definitely getting quite fond of Countess Lilith Desdemona von Shakespeare. Next to him, Rose was clearly struggling not to laugh.
"How dare you!" snarled Sidney, losing his temper. "I set all of this up for you."
"An iPod and chalk and birthday candles!" hooted Lilith. "I bet real vampires don't even do this stuff. I bet you just said they did to try and get in my pants! I'm not stupid you know! I see enough boys like you hanging around at school looking at girls in their uniform."
Sidney hissed at her like some wild animal. "I could break you apart with a single hand! You're just a human; you're nothing to me! I could feed on you right now!"
The Doctor and Rose shared a slightly alarmed glance. Teenage stupidity was one thing, but teenage stupidity coupled with super strength and a desire for human blood could quite easily turn this soap opera into something more serious. Sidney was angry now - all the puffed-up, wounded pride of a teenage boy who couldn't quite finish growing up because he still felt seventeen.
"So go on then!" snapped Lilith. "You're all talk, you are! Seen the world, indeed. War-damaged hero, too, you said. Were you talking about your Playstation?"
"All right, you two," said Rose in her official voice. "Settle down a bit. Lilith, I'm going to need your real name and address and we can drive you home. If you didn't break anything, I'm sure the owner of this place won't press charges. You might have to clean up this mess, though." She turned to Sidney. "And Sid, you've gotta stop doing this. You and I are never going to happen, OK."
Sidney rounded on her, fangs shining in the candlelight. "You ungrateful- what's wrong with you? Women love vampires! And I'm one of the nice ones! I don't kill people. I've got all the animal magnetism and everything!"
"OK, seriously," said the Doctor irritably, "while I don't doubt there are plenty of people out there who think a bit of mumbo-jumbo ritual nonsense is good for a laugh and who are quite happy to go in for a bit of biting - metaphorical or otherwise - how many times does someone have to say they're not interested before you pick up on it?"
"Ooh-er, getting a bit territorial," murmured Rose, with some amusement.
The Doctor huffed. "Well, there's only so much of this I can listen to."
"Who's this idiot, anyway?" demanded Sidney.
"I hardly think I'm the idiot here," said the Doctor, with a sniff.
"Oh my god, Count - Sidney - whatever your stupid name is," broke in Lilith, "does being a vampire make you chronically stupid? This is her boyfriend. Has been for four months now. It was in all the gossip columns. It still is every time he does something... strange. So just trust me, she's got enough weird shit in her love life without you."
The Doctor coughed and scratched the back of his neck. "I'm not that weird," he said.
"You so are," said Rose, grinning. He pouted and she laughed. "In all the best ways," she promised him, giving him the sort of smile that made listening to teenage vampires loudly air their relationship grievances worth every second. "Look, Sidney," said Rose, turning back to him. "Next time I catch you like this I'll have you up for attempted statutory biting, got that?"
"Wait, statutory biting?" broke in the Doctor. "As in, it's legal once they hit eighteen?"
"Only if both parties consent," said Rose.
"What?"
"You... you..." Sidney spat out, glaring at Rose with all the fury he'd earlier directed at Lilith. The Doctor found himself stepping forward in front of Rose automatically, old habits dying hard. "You bring your boyfriend here and flaunt it in front of me. You ungrateful b-"
"Sidney!" snapped Rose, stepping deliberately to the side of the Doctor so he was no longer shielding her completely. The Doctor fidgeted on the spot, still not liking how Sidney looked but knowing in that one movement Rose had made her feelings on the matter clear. "Grow up and get over it. I have not and will never be interested in you."
Before the Doctor, Rose or Lilith could so much as blink, Sidney jumped. The sheer force of the movement threw the Doctor sideways and to the floor. Rose shouted in pain as Sidney slammed into her. Behind them, Lilith screamed.
Fury and panic made the Doctor move faster than he'd thought possible. He scrambled to his feet and saw Sidney on top of Rose and he slammed himself down, unaware of anything aside from a need to help Rose. Sidney shouted something unintelligible, snarling at the Doctor. Rose made the most of the diversion to kick her knee upwards. Sidney howled in pain and the Doctor winced in sympathy before he could stop himself.
Vampire strength counted for a lot, though, and he recovered faster than should have been possible and focused on Rose again. The Doctor, spurred on by some emotion he couldn't quite put a word to, socked him in the jaw.
It was not a particularly hard hit, and the Doctor had never been particularly good at physical fighting, but it seemed to surprise Sidney even more than the groin shot. That crucial second gave Rose a moment to scrabble for her torch and turn it on.
Sidney screamed at the UV light hit him and half fell, half scrambled away, whimpering in pain before he collapsed, unconscious into a heap.
Rose turned off the torch. Sidney didn't stir.
"I hit him," said the Doctor, panting a little. "I don't hit- I hit him." He considered this for a moment longer. "Ow," he added, looking down at his hand, wondering if he'd broken any bones.
"Doctor," slurred Rose, and instantly his eyes were on her. "I think... I need..." She fainted.
On one side of her neck were two bloody wounds, gashes rather than clean bite marks.
The Doctor's panic returned. "Call an ambulance!" he shouted at Lilith, who had frozen in place, terrified.
To his relief, she snapped out of it and picked up the phone from the side of the room. The Doctor bundled up his jacket against Rose's neck to try and stem the blood flow. It wasn't her carotid artery, for which he felt only a momentary relief.
"The ambulance is coming!" said Lilith. "They said have you got anything to wash her neck with?"
"Wash it?" said the Doctor blankly.
"Water? Anything? Maybe the infection's only external."
Whatever relief he'd felt quickly vanished. This wasn't some sort of legend or fantasy story. This was a viral infection transmitted by biting. What if Rose-?
"Nothing," he snapped, searching his pockets anyway.
"I've got vodka?" offered Lilith.
He stared at her. "You're... what? Fifteen?"
"Sixteen next week!" she said with a sniff. "Do you want the stuff or not?"
By the Doctor's watch, the ambulance only took about eight minutes to arrive. By the Doctor's internal clock, it felt like hours. As an afterthought, he took Rose's handcuffs and locked Sidney to the radiator. In the car, trailing after the ambulance, he called into Torchwood to let them know. Somehow it all felt like a bit of a dream - he knew he was doing those things but they were far away and irrelevant in the greater scheme of things. The only thing that mattered was getting to the hospital and getting Rose sorted.
Next to him, Lilith nervously prattled. In the light of day and filled with fear, she looked ridiculous, make-up flaking off and clothes over the top. In some ways though, the constant chatter was reassuring, keeping him grounded in reality.
"She's not going to die, that's for sure," she informed the Doctor. "The vampires that kill do it by sucking out all of the blood, and that takes a bit of time. So she's definitely going to live. And he only bit her a bit, so maybe it won't even take. They say that people who get to hospital within an hour of being bitten are ninety percent likely to go back to being a normal human."
"Ninety percent," murmured the Doctor. "There's still that ten percent..."
"It's not a bad life, though. I mean, maybe I should wait a few years to make sure I'm really ready to, you know, get bitten. And I need to meet someone better than Count bloody Sidney. But yeah, you have a few religious nutters out for you since they don't like vampires, and you have to avoid the sunlight. But Torchwood'll have plenty of night work, right? Aliens don't attack on schedule. And ok, so the diet's weird, but you can get used to it. She's not a rampant vegan is she? Cos that would suck. But I heard they're working on this synthetic solution in Japan, so you never know, soon she might be able to-"
"She's not a vegan."
"Right, well, it's all good then. If you've got one of those little butcher's shops, those are probably the best for good quality blood, but these days all the major supermarkets do good deals on it. Mostly cows and normal farm animals though, whereas the butchers do things like rabbit and deer if she's fussy. Of course, if it bothers you, you could always get a separate fridge for you, right?"
"It doesn't bother me," said the Doctor through gritted teeth. He had seen people do far more disgusting things than simply drinking animal blood.
"Well it's all good then, isn't it? She can be super strong and she'll be young and pretty for ages. Maybe even forever. Isn't that great?"
"Can't you see that it's not?" he snapped, unable to stop himself. "Can you imagine it? Growing older and older and never once changing while everyone around you moves on. You see your friends die, your family die. Everyone you ever love either dies or leaves you. I can't think of a worse punishment!"
Lilith had shrunk back a little as he spoke, looking suddenly afraid again, though this time of him, and not Sidney. The Doctor sighed and turned back to the road, staring at the ambulance in front.
"I'm sorry," he murmured. "But can't you see how awful it would be?"
"Dude," said Lilith, apparently reassured by his apology. "You're nuts." She considered him for a few moments through narrowed eyes. "You're talking like you know it," she said. "Oh my god, are you a vampire? No, wait, it's sunny out. Of course you're not. Did you get cured? Are you like, part of a test group for the cure at Torchwood or something?"
"I'm not a vampire," said the Doctor.
"Well obviously not anymore," said Lilith. "Or else you'd be frazzled. Ooh, I bet you really are four hundred years old, aren't you? You're not one of those slimey creeps who gets bitten just to impress a few girls. You're all old school and proper and polite about things."
"I'm seriously not a vampire," said the Doctor, not quite sure how to deal with this. "I've never been a vampire. Never."
"Don't worry," said Lilith. "I won't tell anyone. Your secret is totally safe with me. But you will release the cure once it's working, won't you? I mean, I might want to be a vampire for a bit and then go back to being human. Man, you're totally the sort of vampire a girl like me should go for."
"You're fifteen."
"Not forever!" She shot him a winning smile. "You haven't got any friends you could hook me up with, have you?"
The Doctor was saved from having to answer by their arrival at the hospital. Rose was whizzed through A&E and into treatment while a no-nonsense nurse cheerfully obstructed the Doctor and reassured him with talk about blood transfusion and anti-virals. The fact that there was a poster on the wall saying "Not so undead. How to deal with you or your spouse becoming a vampire." was not entirely comforting.
At long last, he was let through to Rose's private room to find her asleep and hooked up to multiple machines and IVs.
"It's looking good for her," the doctor reassured him. "She got here quickly enough that we should have stopped the virus before it took hold."
"Right," said the Doctor faintly. She still looked very pale. He parked himself on the chair next to the bed. Lilith, who was probably supposed to be in his custody or something, had picked up a nature magazine from the waiting room and plonked herself down next to him to read an article about elephants. The Doctor took Rose's hand and settled down to wait.
It was going to be fine, he told himself. And even if it wasn't, Torchwood was working on a cure. With his brain, he should be able to speed that up and get one very soon. Fighting off some piddly alien virus? He could do that in his sleep. If he even needed to, of course: the TARDIS should have left Rose with lifelong protection against the vast majority of bacteria and diseases.
Of course, there was always a chance... an alien virus he'd never heard of from a planet in a universe he didn't know anything about? What chance did he have of helping her?
It wouldn't kill her, it just might ruin her life.
He buried his head in his free hand. What the hell was he going to do?
The door to the room opened and he jumped up. Rebecca, one of Rose's Torchwood colleagues, had appeared, flanked by two uniformed police officers.
"How's it hanging?" asked Rebecca.
"The doctor - the medical one, I mean - said it looked good," said the Doctor, trying not to sound too panicky.
"Rose'll be fine," said Rebecca, moving over and patting him on the arm. "This suspect number two?" she asked, looking down at Lilith.
"I'm not a suspect," said Lilith sulkily. "I helped! I didn't realise Sidney was a lunatic."
"Rose said she probably wouldn't get in trouble providing that shop got cleaned up," said the Doctor, vaguely feeling like this seemed fair enough.
"Not with us, maybe," said Rebecca cheerfully. "I can't say the same for from your mum and dad."
Lilith went pale, which was quite impressive considering how white her face already was with her make-up.
"Come on," said Rebecca, pulling out a computer. "Full name and address, please. And I mean real one. None of this Lady-of-the-Night nonsense."
Lilith muttered something.
"Sorry?"
"Matilda Beacon," she said grumpily.
The Doctor turned his laugh into a cough when Lilith - or rather Matilda - shot him an evil look.
One of the two policemen moved forward and nodded stiffly to the Doctor. "The Met has proceeded with Torchwood to assist in the apprehension of the suspect, name Sidney Green."
"Right," said the Doctor dubiously, wondering if that needed an answer from him.
"As you are no doubt aware, assault and biting without consent are criminal matters, so the suspect will be kept in police custody. I understand he has previously caused trouble for Miss Tyler?"
"Erm... yes, I think so," replied the Doctor, a little uncertain of what he was really supposed to say or do in this situation.
"Well just to be on the safe side, we'll post Constable Field outside the door." Constable Field, the second policeman, looked like he was even younger than Sidney. The Doctor bit back a remark about how useful would that be and constrained himself to nodding.
The policeman glanced over to Rose before giving the Doctor a sympathetic look, the first show of humanity. "I'll return and take your statements later, when Miss Tyler wakes up," he said. Relieved, the Doctor sank back in his chair. The policeman and constable left the room, although the Doctor could see the constable now standing outside the door.
Rebecca got to her feet then and gestured for a sullen looking Matilda to follow her. "I'd better get this one home, then."
The Doctor waved at them as they left. Matilda back over her shoulder at him, gestured and mouthed 'Call me!'
"Just how worried should I be?" came a slightly slurred voice from the bed. The Doctor turned to see Rose, with her eyes open and smiling vaguely up at him. "I thought they'd never leave!"
He let out a somewhat embarrassingly high-pitched noise that Rose would later refer to as a 'squeal' and threw his arms around her. Rose chuckled into his neck and cuddled him back. She was very warm and solid in his arms, and she fitted into his embrace as perfectly as she always did. He kissed the side of her head, which was the only bit he could reach without pulling out of the hug.
"I'm all right," she reassured him softly, kissing his ear and neck, running one hand gently through his hair. "I could kill for an extra rare steak though."
"Rose!"
"Kidding, kidding," she said, although he wasn't in the mood to find it particularly funny. "I'm totally human." She seemed to notice how stiff he was and she squeezed harder before leaning back a little. "Hey, look at me," she said, and he dragged his gaze up to hers, unsure what to say. "Doctor, there is really no need to worry about this vampire stuff, ok? If you get to a hospital quickly enough, it's the easiest thing ever to sort out. Look at me, I'm still human. And even if I hadn't been, Torchwood is really close to finding a cure." She hesitated and bit her lip, reaching up to stroke his face. He wondered if she had any idea how much he needed her, and needed to know she'd not have to live a life like his. "Look, we're gonna grow old and wrinkly together, I promise." She paused. "And possibly never eat another steak together. I'm off red meat for a while, I think."
"We'd better," the Doctor muttered. She kissed him then, in the slow and leisurely way of a woman who assumed - quite correctly - he wasn't going anywhere regardless of how awkward the angle.
Eventually they broke apart and he perched on the edge of the bed. "What's going to happen to Sydney now?"
"Five to seven years in prison, I expect," said Rose. "Biting someone like that's taken pretty seriously. Although some of the teen vampires try to argue that because they're eternally a teenager or something they should be tried as a minor. Hasn't worked yet, though." She wrinkled her nose and shuddered, her hand going to her neck. "I just thought he was some creepy bloke who couldn't take no for an answer. Suppose he just let all that vampire stuff get to his head as well. I need a shower, I think," she added, hand still at the bandages on her neck.
The Doctor scowled to himself. He probably should have been quicker with the UV light and holy water.
"Hey you," said Rose, nudging his arm. "I saw you getting all manly and punching him though."
"You did, did you?" The Doctor fluffed up his hair. "It was quite manly, that."
"How's the hand?" said Rose, with amused sympathy.
Glancing down at his right hand, the Doctor realised it was rather bruised from the force of punching vampires. "It's fine," he said vaguely. The bruises and soreness would clear up in a day or so.
Rose took his hand and he winced. "Poor baby," she cooed, inspecting his injuries anyway. He prodded her middle with his free hand and she giggled. "You really need to not get jealous of teenage vampires, you know," she told him mildly. "Not that the punching wasn't good timing, but you know you're being daft, right?"
The Doctor scratched his neck awkwardly and coughed. "Right," he said. This was probably a fair assessment, if he was honest. "Next time, holy water and garlic only."
"Speaking of irrational jealousy of teenaged vampires," said Rose, with a yawn. "Why did Countess Lilith whatever-her-name was want you to call her?"
"Oh yes, that," said the Doctor. "Funny story, that. She thinks I'm a four hundred year old ex-vampire and wants to know if I have any friends who'll bite her."
Rose stared at him and then shut her eyes. "I don't even want to know," she said.
The Doctor grinned and nudged her along in her bed a little further so he could get into position next to her for a bit of somewhat squashed cuddling. "You really, really don't," he said.
"We're seriously going to hunt for a vampire? Part of being a Torchwood agent involves vampire hunting? As in... hunting... for vampires?" She offered him a hand, grin not wavering. He took it and sighed. "If you're having me on, you're sleeping on the sofa tonight." (6300 words)
"A possible code fourteen in progress means what?"
"You heard me."
"But... but... what? That's ridiculous!"
"That's Torchwood."
That, the Doctor had to concede, was a fair statement. Still, when he'd said he wanted to go out with Rose on what she joking called her 'rounds' he'd not expected... not expected... well, this. He'd actually been torn between hoping something entertainingly dramatic and only dangerous enough to get a bit of adrenaline flowing would happen, and hoping nothing at all would happen so they could park in some out-of-the-way spot and have a bit of a snog.
Rose was grinning, though, so maybe this was a practical joke.
She parked the car on the side of the street and hopped out. The Doctor followed her, looking up and down the road. It was a bit of a run-down area, a terrace of ghastly-looking sixties houses on the other side of the road and a few shops on theirs. Well, a few had-been shops. From the looks of it only the newsagent and the pub were still open, the rest were boarded shut and covered in graffiti.
A couple of locals gave them looks that were a mix of suspicion and curiosity. Everybody knew who Rose Tyler was though, and what she did, so they all kept well back. In fact, most of them started to walk away in a purposeful manner.
The Doctor headed around to the boot of the car where Rose was arming herself. The gun she carried these days was standard issue and the Doctor was so far keeping his internal conflict silent (he knew he could trust her of all people, but a gun?). A code fourteen, however, required some... specialist equipment.
She handed him a water pistol and added a similar one to her belt holster. The Doctor held is dubiously and raised an eyebrow at her.
"You're telling me holy water really works?"
"It's not holy water," she said. "Not really. It turns out water stored in the fonts of those churches would end up with certain chemicals in it that they don't like. That's probably where the legend came from."
Then she handed him a torch. He looked at it, flicked it on and instantly screwed his eyes shut and turned it off, wincing.
"Blimey, I think I just gave myself a bit of a tan," he said. He squinted at the torch. "UV light? That's pretty good." He paused. "Wait, all of this really does work?"
"Well there's loads of creatures sensitive to sunlight," said Rose, altogether too reasonably.
"You're not going to ask me to carry garlic or a cross, are you?"
Rose laughed and shook her head. Then she reached back into the boot and picked out...
"You are joking," said the Doctor.
"It's something about the wood," she said, shrugging. Then she attached the wooden stake to her belt and shoved another up her sleeve. She didn't offer him one, for which he was glad.
"Ready, then?" she asked, shutting the boot and turning to him.
"We're seriously going to hunt for a vampire? Part of being a Torchwood agent involves vampire hunting? As in... hunting... for vampires?" She offered him a hand, grin not wavering. He took it and sighed. "If you're having me on, you're sleeping on the sofa tonight."
"Is it really so hard to believe, after all you've seen?"
"Well no, not exactly. But you're not talking a plasmavore, are you? You're talking a real life, honest to god vampire."
The Torchwood message had directed them to this particular row of shops and they studied them to find the most recent signs of a break in. It wasn't particularly easy, since it looked like all of them had been broken into at least once in the near history.
"It's this alien virus, as best we can tell," said Rose, carefully pressing in the wooden board on a window to see if it gave. "We haven't traced how it got here yet - whether it was on a meteor or a ship or what, but Tony - one of the Torchwood historians - reckons you can trace back all the vampire legends to this virus."
"So it makes people sensitive to sunlight and the chemicals in holy water? And kills them if you drive a stake through their heart? Although that's true of most people, let's be honest."
Rose nodded. "And they're stronger and faster than regular humans, of course."
"Oh, of course," he muttered, and she elbowed him.
"And they drink blood."
"Oh, yes." He'd been rather ignoring that aspect, which was a bit daft of him. Why else would they be called vampires?
Rose stepped back from the shop front she'd been expecting and nodded. "This is the one. Can you sonic the door?"
Inside it was cool and dark. The only light came from the cracks in the boarded up windows.
"What does Torchwood do with vampires?" whispered the Doctor. It was the sort of creepy atmosphere that needed whispering. "Round them up? Kill them?"
"Mostly we just give them a caution and tell them to stop scaring the humans," replied Rose.
"You... what?"
He felt her stifled giggle rather than heard it.
"Most of them are just normal people who got infected with the virus," she said. "As long as they don't bite anyone and get their food from the meat counter at Tesco, they're harmless."
"So why the holy water?" he asked dubiously.
"Vampirism attracts a few... people who get infected on purpose and use it as an excuse to go around draining people," she said bitterly. "They always go on about how they've 'lost their soul' or whatever when they go to trial, and never just own up to just being murderers."
The Doctor winced and squeezed her hand. "Come on, Buffy," he said lightly. "Let's go and sort this out."
He could just see enough of her face in the darkness to see her shoot him a small smile.
They headed up back through the darkened and empty shop, using the non-UV setting on the torches to check around corners ("Better to start things off on a good foot and not blind them," Rose had murmured).
The ground floor was empty, but behind a door they found a set of stairs leading upwards. If he strained to listen, the Doctor was sure he could hear a creak above their heads.
They were half way up the stairs before a thought occurred to him.
"Hang on," he said. Rose shushed him and he realised he'd spoken normally and clamped his mouth shut before starting again in a whisper. "Hang on, I've been here four months now. How is this the first I've heard of the fact that this world has vampires living amongst you? Alien vampires, at that."
"Well do you ever watch the political news?"
"No, but-"
"Or sometimes the business news, actually. Two months ago the Association of British Butchers issued a statement condemning Torchwood for trying to find a cure and saying vampires could coexist perfectly peacefully with humans and the butchers of Britain could cater for any blood needed."
The Doctor blinked. "You're serious?"
"Told you, most of them are just normal people. The virus gives them these abilities and means they have to work the night shift and seems to stop them from aging. Torchwood are working on a cure because nobody knows what the long term effects are since this most recent outbreak was only ten years ago. Historically when there's an outbreak they've all been killed, but we can't just do that without any good reason. Mostly the only newsworthy thing vampires do is get involved in the political campaign for their rights."
"Has it occurred to you that this is completely bonkers?" he said. "And please bear in mind this is me saying that."
She laughed quietly. "It's a big universe, Doctor," she said, and he could hear her grin. "There's gotta be at least a dozen species of alien you've never heard of."
"Well... maybe," he conceded.
They continued their creep up the stairs in silence. There was definitely someone or something up here - the Doctor could hear muffled sounds through the walls. Up ahead he could also see the flickering of light, not bright enough to be a fire but definitely some sort of open flame.
Another step, and the metal tang of blood washed over him.
"Blood," he whispered to Rose. She nodded, and flicked off her torch. He did the same.
The top of the stairs opened into a hallway, lit only by a couple of dribbling candles. Ahead of them a wooden door hung open, through which more flickering light spilled. The blood smell was stronger here, and there were a few dark drops spilled on the wooden floor. The Doctor was sure he could hear the faint strains of organ music playing now that they got closer. The muffled sounds up ahead had become two voices - one male and one female - but he couldn't distinguish the individual words.
Rose narrowed her eyes. "I've got a bad feeling about this," she muttered.
The Doctor tightened his grip on his torch and patted his pocket to check the holy water was still there. In the silence, his heart had started to thud rather loudly, as the sick smell of blood only became sharper and sharper.
By the door was a small puddle of the stuff, dark sticky red, as though whoever it was had paused, holding their victim still while they unlocked the door.
Here, Rose stopped moving forward and listened for a moment. A laugh with a certain childish ring to it seemed to be all she needed before she straightened up, strode forward and shoved open the door. That hadn't quite been what the Doctor had expected and he hurried after her.
By first glance, the room was exactly as he'd been expecting. It was almost completely dark except for more candles dotted around the room, some of them at strategic points on a weird sort of sigil that the Doctor didn't recognise draw in chalk on the floor. In the centre of the sigil was a puddle of blood. The two cloaked vampires sat opposite each other on either side of it: deathly pale, with dark eyes and bloody red lips. The male was holding a shiny silver dagger that sparkled in the candlelight and the female was watching, clearly part way through some sort of ritual. And in the background, the strains of the music reached their dramatic crescendo...
Second glance revealed things were perhaps not quite as they seemed. For a start, the organ music was playing on an iPod. An iPod whose screensaver appeared to be a dramatically flickering candle. The rest of the candles were real enough, but at least two of them were shaped like the numbers "1" and "9" from someone's birthday cake. The Latin words scrawled around the sigil spelled out the Hogwarts motto, presumably because the designer's knowledge of Latin was a little suspect. Now that he listened properly, the music was actually a badly played organ version of Darth Vader's march from Star Wars. The dagger sparkled too much to be real.
The blood was real enough, but a quick glance around the room showed a carrier bag with "Sunbury Butchers" on the side.
Oh. Well then. That was almost a letdown. Especially after all that sneaking.
The two vampires were both in their teens. Or at least, they looked still in their teens. If Rose was right about the aging stopping, the Doctor supposed they could be older. He just found himself hoping that nobody older than a teenager would go to the painstaking trouble of creating such a stupid ritual.
"Whthhell?" said the girl as the pair looked up to see who had interrupted them. "Whreyou?"
"Sorry, what?" said Rose.
The girl sighed dramatically and spat out her fangs into her hand. "Who. Are. You?" she enunciated carefully, as though Rose was the stupid one in this conversation. "Wait, oh my god, I recognise you. You're Rose Tyler!"
The Doctor gaped. "You're... a fake vampire?" he said. Now that he studied the girl closely, the pale face looked an awful lot like a thick layer of makeup.
Rose sighed. "She's a regular human," she said. "He's not. Hello, Sidney."
"Rose! How many times do I have to tell you, my name is not Sidney. It is... the Count." Sidney spoke with a bit of a lisp, presumably due to the fangs. "I knew you wouldn't be able to keep away though."
"That's my job, Sidney," said Rose, exasperated. "You're breaking and entering. Again."
"No door is shut to the children of the night!" he said.
"No door is shut to anyone who brings a big enough crowbar," said Rose. "Who's your girlfriend?"
"I am Countess Lilith Desdemona von Shakespeare!" announced the girl.
"Von... Shakespeare?" managed the Doctor. "Wait, you're human, but you're dress like a... like... that-" the girl was wearing all black, including some very high and spiky stilettos, "are you here to get bitten or something?"
Countess Lilith Desdemona von Shakespeare shrugged. "So what if I am?" she said. "I'm old enough! I don't want to spend the rest of my life getting older while the Count stays young and beautiful!"
A few months ago, those words would have been enough to stop the Doctor in his tracks. Now though, he felt an odd rush of pity for Sidney and his ilk. Rose had said nobody knew the long term effects - what if there really were a race of almost-immortals walking the Earth? Torchwood definitely needed to find a cure before anyone realised what sort of life that would be.
He was about to express that pity to Sidney when the boy himself piped up.
"See, Rose, see! I could have any woman I wanted. I don't need you."
Somewhere between the Doctor's brain and his mouth, the words of sympathy for Sidney became: "You think he's beautiful?" addressed at Lilith (or whatever her real name was).
Lilith was staring at Sidney after that outburst. "What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded.
"Sidney," said Rose, in a tone of voice that suggested she was trying to let him down gently. "I've told you before, I'm not interested in you. At all."
"Well why not?" demanded Sidney.
"Well for starters you're too young for me," said Rose. The Doctor was sure she could have come up with something stronger like 'You aren't the Doctor, who I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and who doesn't expect me to wear half a tonne of talcum powder and break into buildings except when breaking into buildings is fun or useful in saving the world'. He wasn't sure he liked this Sidney bloke much.
"I! Too young! I who have been a terror of the underworld for hundreds of y-"
"Sidney, I've read your file," said Rose. "You were turned when you were seventeen, all of three years ago."
The Doctor sniggered.
"What?" snapped Lilith. "You told me you were four hundred. You said you'd survived from a previous outbreak! You said you'd hidden from vampire hunters for centuries!"
"I thought age was just a number!" protested Sidney.
"It is when you're four hundred!" said Lilith. "When you're some scummy nineteen year old who can't get a girl his own age. Oh and Rose Tyler? Get with you? Puh-lease. If she wanted a vampire she'd get one who was actually four hundred."
The Doctor felt a sudden and rather strong craving for a comfy chair and some popcorn. He was definitely getting quite fond of Countess Lilith Desdemona von Shakespeare. Next to him, Rose was clearly struggling not to laugh.
"How dare you!" snarled Sidney, losing his temper. "I set all of this up for you."
"An iPod and chalk and birthday candles!" hooted Lilith. "I bet real vampires don't even do this stuff. I bet you just said they did to try and get in my pants! I'm not stupid you know! I see enough boys like you hanging around at school looking at girls in their uniform."
Sidney hissed at her like some wild animal. "I could break you apart with a single hand! You're just a human; you're nothing to me! I could feed on you right now!"
The Doctor and Rose shared a slightly alarmed glance. Teenage stupidity was one thing, but teenage stupidity coupled with super strength and a desire for human blood could quite easily turn this soap opera into something more serious. Sidney was angry now - all the puffed-up, wounded pride of a teenage boy who couldn't quite finish growing up because he still felt seventeen.
"So go on then!" snapped Lilith. "You're all talk, you are! Seen the world, indeed. War-damaged hero, too, you said. Were you talking about your Playstation?"
"All right, you two," said Rose in her official voice. "Settle down a bit. Lilith, I'm going to need your real name and address and we can drive you home. If you didn't break anything, I'm sure the owner of this place won't press charges. You might have to clean up this mess, though." She turned to Sidney. "And Sid, you've gotta stop doing this. You and I are never going to happen, OK."
Sidney rounded on her, fangs shining in the candlelight. "You ungrateful- what's wrong with you? Women love vampires! And I'm one of the nice ones! I don't kill people. I've got all the animal magnetism and everything!"
"OK, seriously," said the Doctor irritably, "while I don't doubt there are plenty of people out there who think a bit of mumbo-jumbo ritual nonsense is good for a laugh and who are quite happy to go in for a bit of biting - metaphorical or otherwise - how many times does someone have to say they're not interested before you pick up on it?"
"Ooh-er, getting a bit territorial," murmured Rose, with some amusement.
The Doctor huffed. "Well, there's only so much of this I can listen to."
"Who's this idiot, anyway?" demanded Sidney.
"I hardly think I'm the idiot here," said the Doctor, with a sniff.
"Oh my god, Count - Sidney - whatever your stupid name is," broke in Lilith, "does being a vampire make you chronically stupid? This is her boyfriend. Has been for four months now. It was in all the gossip columns. It still is every time he does something... strange. So just trust me, she's got enough weird shit in her love life without you."
The Doctor coughed and scratched the back of his neck. "I'm not that weird," he said.
"You so are," said Rose, grinning. He pouted and she laughed. "In all the best ways," she promised him, giving him the sort of smile that made listening to teenage vampires loudly air their relationship grievances worth every second. "Look, Sidney," said Rose, turning back to him. "Next time I catch you like this I'll have you up for attempted statutory biting, got that?"
"Wait, statutory biting?" broke in the Doctor. "As in, it's legal once they hit eighteen?"
"Only if both parties consent," said Rose.
"What?"
"You... you..." Sidney spat out, glaring at Rose with all the fury he'd earlier directed at Lilith. The Doctor found himself stepping forward in front of Rose automatically, old habits dying hard. "You bring your boyfriend here and flaunt it in front of me. You ungrateful b-"
"Sidney!" snapped Rose, stepping deliberately to the side of the Doctor so he was no longer shielding her completely. The Doctor fidgeted on the spot, still not liking how Sidney looked but knowing in that one movement Rose had made her feelings on the matter clear. "Grow up and get over it. I have not and will never be interested in you."
Before the Doctor, Rose or Lilith could so much as blink, Sidney jumped. The sheer force of the movement threw the Doctor sideways and to the floor. Rose shouted in pain as Sidney slammed into her. Behind them, Lilith screamed.
Fury and panic made the Doctor move faster than he'd thought possible. He scrambled to his feet and saw Sidney on top of Rose and he slammed himself down, unaware of anything aside from a need to help Rose. Sidney shouted something unintelligible, snarling at the Doctor. Rose made the most of the diversion to kick her knee upwards. Sidney howled in pain and the Doctor winced in sympathy before he could stop himself.
Vampire strength counted for a lot, though, and he recovered faster than should have been possible and focused on Rose again. The Doctor, spurred on by some emotion he couldn't quite put a word to, socked him in the jaw.
It was not a particularly hard hit, and the Doctor had never been particularly good at physical fighting, but it seemed to surprise Sidney even more than the groin shot. That crucial second gave Rose a moment to scrabble for her torch and turn it on.
Sidney screamed at the UV light hit him and half fell, half scrambled away, whimpering in pain before he collapsed, unconscious into a heap.
Rose turned off the torch. Sidney didn't stir.
"I hit him," said the Doctor, panting a little. "I don't hit- I hit him." He considered this for a moment longer. "Ow," he added, looking down at his hand, wondering if he'd broken any bones.
"Doctor," slurred Rose, and instantly his eyes were on her. "I think... I need..." She fainted.
On one side of her neck were two bloody wounds, gashes rather than clean bite marks.
The Doctor's panic returned. "Call an ambulance!" he shouted at Lilith, who had frozen in place, terrified.
To his relief, she snapped out of it and picked up the phone from the side of the room. The Doctor bundled up his jacket against Rose's neck to try and stem the blood flow. It wasn't her carotid artery, for which he felt only a momentary relief.
"The ambulance is coming!" said Lilith. "They said have you got anything to wash her neck with?"
"Wash it?" said the Doctor blankly.
"Water? Anything? Maybe the infection's only external."
Whatever relief he'd felt quickly vanished. This wasn't some sort of legend or fantasy story. This was a viral infection transmitted by biting. What if Rose-?
"Nothing," he snapped, searching his pockets anyway.
"I've got vodka?" offered Lilith.
He stared at her. "You're... what? Fifteen?"
"Sixteen next week!" she said with a sniff. "Do you want the stuff or not?"
By the Doctor's watch, the ambulance only took about eight minutes to arrive. By the Doctor's internal clock, it felt like hours. As an afterthought, he took Rose's handcuffs and locked Sidney to the radiator. In the car, trailing after the ambulance, he called into Torchwood to let them know. Somehow it all felt like a bit of a dream - he knew he was doing those things but they were far away and irrelevant in the greater scheme of things. The only thing that mattered was getting to the hospital and getting Rose sorted.
Next to him, Lilith nervously prattled. In the light of day and filled with fear, she looked ridiculous, make-up flaking off and clothes over the top. In some ways though, the constant chatter was reassuring, keeping him grounded in reality.
"She's not going to die, that's for sure," she informed the Doctor. "The vampires that kill do it by sucking out all of the blood, and that takes a bit of time. So she's definitely going to live. And he only bit her a bit, so maybe it won't even take. They say that people who get to hospital within an hour of being bitten are ninety percent likely to go back to being a normal human."
"Ninety percent," murmured the Doctor. "There's still that ten percent..."
"It's not a bad life, though. I mean, maybe I should wait a few years to make sure I'm really ready to, you know, get bitten. And I need to meet someone better than Count bloody Sidney. But yeah, you have a few religious nutters out for you since they don't like vampires, and you have to avoid the sunlight. But Torchwood'll have plenty of night work, right? Aliens don't attack on schedule. And ok, so the diet's weird, but you can get used to it. She's not a rampant vegan is she? Cos that would suck. But I heard they're working on this synthetic solution in Japan, so you never know, soon she might be able to-"
"She's not a vegan."
"Right, well, it's all good then. If you've got one of those little butcher's shops, those are probably the best for good quality blood, but these days all the major supermarkets do good deals on it. Mostly cows and normal farm animals though, whereas the butchers do things like rabbit and deer if she's fussy. Of course, if it bothers you, you could always get a separate fridge for you, right?"
"It doesn't bother me," said the Doctor through gritted teeth. He had seen people do far more disgusting things than simply drinking animal blood.
"Well it's all good then, isn't it? She can be super strong and she'll be young and pretty for ages. Maybe even forever. Isn't that great?"
"Can't you see that it's not?" he snapped, unable to stop himself. "Can you imagine it? Growing older and older and never once changing while everyone around you moves on. You see your friends die, your family die. Everyone you ever love either dies or leaves you. I can't think of a worse punishment!"
Lilith had shrunk back a little as he spoke, looking suddenly afraid again, though this time of him, and not Sidney. The Doctor sighed and turned back to the road, staring at the ambulance in front.
"I'm sorry," he murmured. "But can't you see how awful it would be?"
"Dude," said Lilith, apparently reassured by his apology. "You're nuts." She considered him for a few moments through narrowed eyes. "You're talking like you know it," she said. "Oh my god, are you a vampire? No, wait, it's sunny out. Of course you're not. Did you get cured? Are you like, part of a test group for the cure at Torchwood or something?"
"I'm not a vampire," said the Doctor.
"Well obviously not anymore," said Lilith. "Or else you'd be frazzled. Ooh, I bet you really are four hundred years old, aren't you? You're not one of those slimey creeps who gets bitten just to impress a few girls. You're all old school and proper and polite about things."
"I'm seriously not a vampire," said the Doctor, not quite sure how to deal with this. "I've never been a vampire. Never."
"Don't worry," said Lilith. "I won't tell anyone. Your secret is totally safe with me. But you will release the cure once it's working, won't you? I mean, I might want to be a vampire for a bit and then go back to being human. Man, you're totally the sort of vampire a girl like me should go for."
"You're fifteen."
"Not forever!" She shot him a winning smile. "You haven't got any friends you could hook me up with, have you?"
The Doctor was saved from having to answer by their arrival at the hospital. Rose was whizzed through A&E and into treatment while a no-nonsense nurse cheerfully obstructed the Doctor and reassured him with talk about blood transfusion and anti-virals. The fact that there was a poster on the wall saying "Not so undead. How to deal with you or your spouse becoming a vampire." was not entirely comforting.
At long last, he was let through to Rose's private room to find her asleep and hooked up to multiple machines and IVs.
"It's looking good for her," the doctor reassured him. "She got here quickly enough that we should have stopped the virus before it took hold."
"Right," said the Doctor faintly. She still looked very pale. He parked himself on the chair next to the bed. Lilith, who was probably supposed to be in his custody or something, had picked up a nature magazine from the waiting room and plonked herself down next to him to read an article about elephants. The Doctor took Rose's hand and settled down to wait.
It was going to be fine, he told himself. And even if it wasn't, Torchwood was working on a cure. With his brain, he should be able to speed that up and get one very soon. Fighting off some piddly alien virus? He could do that in his sleep. If he even needed to, of course: the TARDIS should have left Rose with lifelong protection against the vast majority of bacteria and diseases.
Of course, there was always a chance... an alien virus he'd never heard of from a planet in a universe he didn't know anything about? What chance did he have of helping her?
It wouldn't kill her, it just might ruin her life.
He buried his head in his free hand. What the hell was he going to do?
The door to the room opened and he jumped up. Rebecca, one of Rose's Torchwood colleagues, had appeared, flanked by two uniformed police officers.
"How's it hanging?" asked Rebecca.
"The doctor - the medical one, I mean - said it looked good," said the Doctor, trying not to sound too panicky.
"Rose'll be fine," said Rebecca, moving over and patting him on the arm. "This suspect number two?" she asked, looking down at Lilith.
"I'm not a suspect," said Lilith sulkily. "I helped! I didn't realise Sidney was a lunatic."
"Rose said she probably wouldn't get in trouble providing that shop got cleaned up," said the Doctor, vaguely feeling like this seemed fair enough.
"Not with us, maybe," said Rebecca cheerfully. "I can't say the same for from your mum and dad."
Lilith went pale, which was quite impressive considering how white her face already was with her make-up.
"Come on," said Rebecca, pulling out a computer. "Full name and address, please. And I mean real one. None of this Lady-of-the-Night nonsense."
Lilith muttered something.
"Sorry?"
"Matilda Beacon," she said grumpily.
The Doctor turned his laugh into a cough when Lilith - or rather Matilda - shot him an evil look.
One of the two policemen moved forward and nodded stiffly to the Doctor. "The Met has proceeded with Torchwood to assist in the apprehension of the suspect, name Sidney Green."
"Right," said the Doctor dubiously, wondering if that needed an answer from him.
"As you are no doubt aware, assault and biting without consent are criminal matters, so the suspect will be kept in police custody. I understand he has previously caused trouble for Miss Tyler?"
"Erm... yes, I think so," replied the Doctor, a little uncertain of what he was really supposed to say or do in this situation.
"Well just to be on the safe side, we'll post Constable Field outside the door." Constable Field, the second policeman, looked like he was even younger than Sidney. The Doctor bit back a remark about how useful would that be and constrained himself to nodding.
The policeman glanced over to Rose before giving the Doctor a sympathetic look, the first show of humanity. "I'll return and take your statements later, when Miss Tyler wakes up," he said. Relieved, the Doctor sank back in his chair. The policeman and constable left the room, although the Doctor could see the constable now standing outside the door.
Rebecca got to her feet then and gestured for a sullen looking Matilda to follow her. "I'd better get this one home, then."
The Doctor waved at them as they left. Matilda back over her shoulder at him, gestured and mouthed 'Call me!'
"Just how worried should I be?" came a slightly slurred voice from the bed. The Doctor turned to see Rose, with her eyes open and smiling vaguely up at him. "I thought they'd never leave!"
He let out a somewhat embarrassingly high-pitched noise that Rose would later refer to as a 'squeal' and threw his arms around her. Rose chuckled into his neck and cuddled him back. She was very warm and solid in his arms, and she fitted into his embrace as perfectly as she always did. He kissed the side of her head, which was the only bit he could reach without pulling out of the hug.
"I'm all right," she reassured him softly, kissing his ear and neck, running one hand gently through his hair. "I could kill for an extra rare steak though."
"Rose!"
"Kidding, kidding," she said, although he wasn't in the mood to find it particularly funny. "I'm totally human." She seemed to notice how stiff he was and she squeezed harder before leaning back a little. "Hey, look at me," she said, and he dragged his gaze up to hers, unsure what to say. "Doctor, there is really no need to worry about this vampire stuff, ok? If you get to a hospital quickly enough, it's the easiest thing ever to sort out. Look at me, I'm still human. And even if I hadn't been, Torchwood is really close to finding a cure." She hesitated and bit her lip, reaching up to stroke his face. He wondered if she had any idea how much he needed her, and needed to know she'd not have to live a life like his. "Look, we're gonna grow old and wrinkly together, I promise." She paused. "And possibly never eat another steak together. I'm off red meat for a while, I think."
"We'd better," the Doctor muttered. She kissed him then, in the slow and leisurely way of a woman who assumed - quite correctly - he wasn't going anywhere regardless of how awkward the angle.
Eventually they broke apart and he perched on the edge of the bed. "What's going to happen to Sydney now?"
"Five to seven years in prison, I expect," said Rose. "Biting someone like that's taken pretty seriously. Although some of the teen vampires try to argue that because they're eternally a teenager or something they should be tried as a minor. Hasn't worked yet, though." She wrinkled her nose and shuddered, her hand going to her neck. "I just thought he was some creepy bloke who couldn't take no for an answer. Suppose he just let all that vampire stuff get to his head as well. I need a shower, I think," she added, hand still at the bandages on her neck.
The Doctor scowled to himself. He probably should have been quicker with the UV light and holy water.
"Hey you," said Rose, nudging his arm. "I saw you getting all manly and punching him though."
"You did, did you?" The Doctor fluffed up his hair. "It was quite manly, that."
"How's the hand?" said Rose, with amused sympathy.
Glancing down at his right hand, the Doctor realised it was rather bruised from the force of punching vampires. "It's fine," he said vaguely. The bruises and soreness would clear up in a day or so.
Rose took his hand and he winced. "Poor baby," she cooed, inspecting his injuries anyway. He prodded her middle with his free hand and she giggled. "You really need to not get jealous of teenage vampires, you know," she told him mildly. "Not that the punching wasn't good timing, but you know you're being daft, right?"
The Doctor scratched his neck awkwardly and coughed. "Right," he said. This was probably a fair assessment, if he was honest. "Next time, holy water and garlic only."
"Speaking of irrational jealousy of teenaged vampires," said Rose, with a yawn. "Why did Countess Lilith whatever-her-name was want you to call her?"
"Oh yes, that," said the Doctor. "Funny story, that. She thinks I'm a four hundred year old ex-vampire and wants to know if I have any friends who'll bite her."
Rose stared at him and then shut her eyes. "I don't even want to know," she said.
The Doctor grinned and nudged her along in her bed a little further so he could get into position next to her for a bit of somewhat squashed cuddling. "You really, really don't," he said.