(no subject)
He carries her back to the TARDIS himself. Now that she’s recovered, he barely lets anyone else touch her. He watches the nurses tending to her, making sure the poison has left her system, and now that she’s saved, he almost wants to tell them he’ll take care of it from here, thank you.
He can barely keep his hands off her-needs to touch her, hold her to make sure she’s really still with him. He sat by her bedside for three days, holding her hand in his, afraid to ever let her go.
He’s still afraid. So afraid.
Her weight in his arms is different now-less fevered, less urgent, more pleasant and comfortable. She hadn’t really slept for the three days the poison was still circulating through her system, and it’s taken its toll-she’s been asleep for hours, at this point. After the nurses cleared her to go, they’d offered him a sort of wheelchair, but he’d insisted on carrying her out just like he carried her in.
It’s a bit of a revelation when Rose pads into the console room the next morning, yawning and stretching and bleary-eyed. She has been hurt before in their travels (more times than he’d like, in fact) but never this badly. It has never been such a relief to see her awake and about, something that hits him with renewed fervor now.
“Morning,” she murmurs, sitting in the console chair and spinning it once with her feet before looking up at him. “Wasn’t expecting to wake up back here.”
He fiddles with a few switches, fixing coordinates. “The nurses cleared you to leave. Thought you’d like to wake up in your own bed.”
She grins softly at that, quietly amused. “’S funny.”
“What is?”
“That you consider ‘my own bed’ to be here. Not back with Mum.”
She has a point. He has come to think, without realizing it, that the TARDIS is her home as much as his. That she belongs here with him, traveling, the two of them united in their wanderlust.
He gives her that grin, ear to ear, and flips the last switch, sending them off to their next destination. “Thought I could take you somewhere-no running about just yet. Give you time to recuperate; get back on your feet.”
He smile is threatening to completely overtake her face, and neither of them mind. “Just lemme get changed.”
***
They lay together at the mouth of the cave, breathing in rhythm and watching the stars. This galaxy has so many more, and tonight there is a meteor shower, something Rose hasn’t seen since childhood. Her laugh, joyous and awed and so glad to be alive, makes the Doctor’s hearts stir. He might have seen meteor showers like this one hundreds of times over his nine hundred years, but he has never seen one with her.
Eventually the star shower slows down, and Rose turns her head to watch him, brilliant flashes occasionally bathing her in light that makes her glow like fire, like the Bad Wolf. “Can I ask you something, Doctor?”
A nod.
She continues, treading carefully. “When I woke up, you… you kissed me.”
He realizes she might not remember the other times-she had been consumed by the vortex for the first, possessed by Cassandra for the second. Even if she did remember, this one was different. He had initiated it, not even thinking, consumed by no other thought but the joy that she was alive.
Or at least, he’d been trying to tell himself that.
“I was… glad you were alive,” he tells her, kicking himself even as he says it-that’s not all it is, and he knows it. But how can he tell her, knowing he’d never be able to stay with her-not really? “Just… came over me. That’s all.”
He hopes the disappointment in her voice is just his imagination. “Oh.”
She lays there in silence for a moment, watching his face and then turning her eyes back to the sky. “’Cause I was going to say, we could…”
He shouldn’t ask. He knows he shouldn’t. It is dangerous territory and he does not want to go there but he does. “We could…?”
“Try it again,” Rose mumbles, now refusing to look at him, stubbornly concentrating on the stars. “Forget I said it. ‘S stupid. Thought maybe… maybe there was another reason you…”
Duty and desire-therein lay the rub. He has a duty to protect Rose Tyler from the dangers of their travels and the heartbreak of a human loving a Time Lord.
But he has a desire. Oh, he has a desire.
“Rose,” he says quietly, and when she finally turns her face to his, he reaches out, cupping her cheek and leaning in, brushing his lips against hers-gently, slowly, but with barely any hesitation. His body acts for him, as if saying, This is what you should’ve been doing all along, you fool.
Her lips against his take some time to react. She is questioning at first, her eyes searching his for confirmation that this is what he really wants and not just to appease her. She gets all the confirmation he needs from his hand moving from her cheek and tangling in her hair, and they press themselves together and don’t for a second let go.
***
He doesn’t sleep-part of Time Lord physiology, that. Through the night, he is draped halfway over Rose Tyler, keeping her warm from the chill of the cave. She’d opted not to get dressed again, said it would ruin the moment. He’d agreed, and it had left him with an excuse to keep her warm, taking advantage of the extra body heat two blood supplies gives him. An excuse to be closer to her than he’d ever thought he would be.
Soft light glows on the horizon, and he pushes himself up on his elbows and reaches for his clothes, gently nudging Rose’s shoulder. “Rose. Rose-”
“Mmmshove off,” Rose murmurs in her sleep, though she opens an eye lazily… and then blushes, opening the other once she catches sight of the Doctor getting dressed. “Wha’ is it?”
“Something I want to show you.”
“Thought we passed that part last night,” she murmurs with a sly little smile, and he chuckles, finishing buttoning up his shirt and then getting up to put on his trousers.
“We did, didn’t we? Come on, we might miss it…”
She fumbles for her clothes and gets dressed as quickly as she can, finally zipping up her jacket and then grabbing his hand, following him down the rocky embankment and back to the TARDIS. They stand just a few feet away from their blue box, so small and insignificant in the huge expanse of stone, and watch the sunrise.
They don’t touch, but they stand there with the knowledge that something fundamental has changed. They took a step the night before and there’s implications to consider.
“You can spend the rest of your life with me…”
Rose looking up at him, her eyes bright with tears she doesn’t seem to want to cry. Tears he wants to banish forever. She should never cry over him.
“But I can’t spend the rest of my life with you. I have to live on. Alone. That’s the curse of the Time Lords.”
Other words echo in his mind, a prophecy he’d begged her not to listen to. “And the lost girl, so far away from home. The valiant child who will die in battle so very soon…”
A prophecy he hopes to prevent, no matter what the cost.
“How long are you gonna stay with me?” he asks, turning to look at her, knowing there is only one answer that will truly satisfy him. One answer he will do anything to achieve.
And she knows. Oh, she knows.
Because she turns to him and says softly, certainly, “Forever.”
He can barely keep his hands off her-needs to touch her, hold her to make sure she’s really still with him. He sat by her bedside for three days, holding her hand in his, afraid to ever let her go.
He’s still afraid. So afraid.
Her weight in his arms is different now-less fevered, less urgent, more pleasant and comfortable. She hadn’t really slept for the three days the poison was still circulating through her system, and it’s taken its toll-she’s been asleep for hours, at this point. After the nurses cleared her to go, they’d offered him a sort of wheelchair, but he’d insisted on carrying her out just like he carried her in.
It’s a bit of a revelation when Rose pads into the console room the next morning, yawning and stretching and bleary-eyed. She has been hurt before in their travels (more times than he’d like, in fact) but never this badly. It has never been such a relief to see her awake and about, something that hits him with renewed fervor now.
“Morning,” she murmurs, sitting in the console chair and spinning it once with her feet before looking up at him. “Wasn’t expecting to wake up back here.”
He fiddles with a few switches, fixing coordinates. “The nurses cleared you to leave. Thought you’d like to wake up in your own bed.”
She grins softly at that, quietly amused. “’S funny.”
“What is?”
“That you consider ‘my own bed’ to be here. Not back with Mum.”
She has a point. He has come to think, without realizing it, that the TARDIS is her home as much as his. That she belongs here with him, traveling, the two of them united in their wanderlust.
He gives her that grin, ear to ear, and flips the last switch, sending them off to their next destination. “Thought I could take you somewhere-no running about just yet. Give you time to recuperate; get back on your feet.”
He smile is threatening to completely overtake her face, and neither of them mind. “Just lemme get changed.”
***
They lay together at the mouth of the cave, breathing in rhythm and watching the stars. This galaxy has so many more, and tonight there is a meteor shower, something Rose hasn’t seen since childhood. Her laugh, joyous and awed and so glad to be alive, makes the Doctor’s hearts stir. He might have seen meteor showers like this one hundreds of times over his nine hundred years, but he has never seen one with her.
Eventually the star shower slows down, and Rose turns her head to watch him, brilliant flashes occasionally bathing her in light that makes her glow like fire, like the Bad Wolf. “Can I ask you something, Doctor?”
A nod.
She continues, treading carefully. “When I woke up, you… you kissed me.”
He realizes she might not remember the other times-she had been consumed by the vortex for the first, possessed by Cassandra for the second. Even if she did remember, this one was different. He had initiated it, not even thinking, consumed by no other thought but the joy that she was alive.
Or at least, he’d been trying to tell himself that.
“I was… glad you were alive,” he tells her, kicking himself even as he says it-that’s not all it is, and he knows it. But how can he tell her, knowing he’d never be able to stay with her-not really? “Just… came over me. That’s all.”
He hopes the disappointment in her voice is just his imagination. “Oh.”
She lays there in silence for a moment, watching his face and then turning her eyes back to the sky. “’Cause I was going to say, we could…”
He shouldn’t ask. He knows he shouldn’t. It is dangerous territory and he does not want to go there but he does. “We could…?”
“Try it again,” Rose mumbles, now refusing to look at him, stubbornly concentrating on the stars. “Forget I said it. ‘S stupid. Thought maybe… maybe there was another reason you…”
Duty and desire-therein lay the rub. He has a duty to protect Rose Tyler from the dangers of their travels and the heartbreak of a human loving a Time Lord.
But he has a desire. Oh, he has a desire.
“Rose,” he says quietly, and when she finally turns her face to his, he reaches out, cupping her cheek and leaning in, brushing his lips against hers-gently, slowly, but with barely any hesitation. His body acts for him, as if saying, This is what you should’ve been doing all along, you fool.
Her lips against his take some time to react. She is questioning at first, her eyes searching his for confirmation that this is what he really wants and not just to appease her. She gets all the confirmation he needs from his hand moving from her cheek and tangling in her hair, and they press themselves together and don’t for a second let go.
***
He doesn’t sleep-part of Time Lord physiology, that. Through the night, he is draped halfway over Rose Tyler, keeping her warm from the chill of the cave. She’d opted not to get dressed again, said it would ruin the moment. He’d agreed, and it had left him with an excuse to keep her warm, taking advantage of the extra body heat two blood supplies gives him. An excuse to be closer to her than he’d ever thought he would be.
Soft light glows on the horizon, and he pushes himself up on his elbows and reaches for his clothes, gently nudging Rose’s shoulder. “Rose. Rose-”
“Mmmshove off,” Rose murmurs in her sleep, though she opens an eye lazily… and then blushes, opening the other once she catches sight of the Doctor getting dressed. “Wha’ is it?”
“Something I want to show you.”
“Thought we passed that part last night,” she murmurs with a sly little smile, and he chuckles, finishing buttoning up his shirt and then getting up to put on his trousers.
“We did, didn’t we? Come on, we might miss it…”
She fumbles for her clothes and gets dressed as quickly as she can, finally zipping up her jacket and then grabbing his hand, following him down the rocky embankment and back to the TARDIS. They stand just a few feet away from their blue box, so small and insignificant in the huge expanse of stone, and watch the sunrise.
They don’t touch, but they stand there with the knowledge that something fundamental has changed. They took a step the night before and there’s implications to consider.
“You can spend the rest of your life with me…”
Rose looking up at him, her eyes bright with tears she doesn’t seem to want to cry. Tears he wants to banish forever. She should never cry over him.
“But I can’t spend the rest of my life with you. I have to live on. Alone. That’s the curse of the Time Lords.”
Other words echo in his mind, a prophecy he’d begged her not to listen to. “And the lost girl, so far away from home. The valiant child who will die in battle so very soon…”
A prophecy he hopes to prevent, no matter what the cost.
“How long are you gonna stay with me?” he asks, turning to look at her, knowing there is only one answer that will truly satisfy him. One answer he will do anything to achieve.
And she knows. Oh, she knows.
Because she turns to him and says softly, certainly, “Forever.”