(no subject)
protest this hate of mine; mickey, (rose/ten); pg
post-girl in the fireplace, Mickey's POV (hope this is ok!)
He wants to twist the edge of her hurt and make her feel a little of what it’s been like for him all this time., 721 words
He wants to laugh and tell her, “I told you so.” He wants to bask in her pain and taunt her with his glee. He wants to twist the edge of her hurt and make her feel a little of what it’s been like for him all this time. Since the day the Doctor came along and stole her away from him.
But he finds it easier to hide away his pain and envy; tuck it someplace deep and pull it out later when he’s alone. He knows he loves her to much to hurt her anymore than the Doctor has already today. Instead, he pulls her into a hug as she cries quietly against him. He awkwardly strokes her hair, trying to find the words that wouldn’t wound; wouldn’t inflict.
She doesn’t say anything, just clings to him as she cries silently. He feels the heat of her tears as they burn their way down his shoulder and wishes desperately that he could make this pain go away for her. “Rose, it’s the Doctor. He wouldn’t have left us alone out there. He would’ve found a way back - he did find a way back. Why are you so upset? We’re safe, we’re together. On we go.” He tries to inject feeling into his voice, to cheer her, but his words come out hollow and flat.
He knows that she was never upset over the risk to her life, safety had never occurred to her. She is devastated that the man she cares so much about, had left her behind and his heart clenches in protest. She loves a man who would leave her for someone bigger, someone prettier, someone else. It simply isn’t fair and he wonders for how long he can manage his own pain.
-=-
He watches the two of them and wonders at the subtle shift between them. Rose, pretending that France had never happened and the Doctor avoiding. Mickey hasn’t been traveling with them very long but he thinks that the Doctor’s gotten very good at that. Avoiding, that is.
He notices that Rose stands a little more closely to the Doctor, clings a little less casually to his hands and that, at times, her laughter is more forced that it should be. The Doctor pretends that he doesn’t see it and seems to welcome the affection as a form of atonement. Mickey resists the urge to say what he’s thinking but he thinks he hates the Doctor a bit for that. He wants to tell Rose that he still loves her and that this bloke could leave her again, will leave her. He wants to push the Doctor away and take Rose back home with him; where she’ll be his and he’ll be hers.
The way it use to be.
But when he sees the way her eyes light up at the Doctor, when he hears the sound of her laughter; he understands why the Doctor won’t let her go. And why it’s so hard for him to let go.
-=-
It isn’t until later, until after he stays behind, that he realizes how much he loved the life he had with them.
He misses her. Everyday, every afternoon, every evening. He thinks about her
He looks at the stars and knows that they are not the same stars they are traveling through, not the same moon, not the same sun. The Doctor’s words echo around his head constantly and there isn’t a day that goes by that he doesn’t think about them.
We can't ever return.
He also thinks about how close they were, how “together” they seemed. From the moment she met the Doctor, Mickey had become an after thought. She pursued the Doctor and the mystery that was forming around her with such a passion that the life she had shared with him had faded away into broken memories. He traveled with them, he’s seen the “them” up close and there really wasn’t anymore room for him, even after France. Yeah, he and Rose had something once and he’s not sure that will ever go away completely.
For him.
Because it was never about Mickey and Rose. There would never be another choice for her, the choice had been made the day she had met him.
And he thinks he finally understands that.
post-girl in the fireplace, Mickey's POV (hope this is ok!)
He wants to twist the edge of her hurt and make her feel a little of what it’s been like for him all this time., 721 words
He wants to laugh and tell her, “I told you so.” He wants to bask in her pain and taunt her with his glee. He wants to twist the edge of her hurt and make her feel a little of what it’s been like for him all this time. Since the day the Doctor came along and stole her away from him.
But he finds it easier to hide away his pain and envy; tuck it someplace deep and pull it out later when he’s alone. He knows he loves her to much to hurt her anymore than the Doctor has already today. Instead, he pulls her into a hug as she cries quietly against him. He awkwardly strokes her hair, trying to find the words that wouldn’t wound; wouldn’t inflict.
She doesn’t say anything, just clings to him as she cries silently. He feels the heat of her tears as they burn their way down his shoulder and wishes desperately that he could make this pain go away for her. “Rose, it’s the Doctor. He wouldn’t have left us alone out there. He would’ve found a way back - he did find a way back. Why are you so upset? We’re safe, we’re together. On we go.” He tries to inject feeling into his voice, to cheer her, but his words come out hollow and flat.
He knows that she was never upset over the risk to her life, safety had never occurred to her. She is devastated that the man she cares so much about, had left her behind and his heart clenches in protest. She loves a man who would leave her for someone bigger, someone prettier, someone else. It simply isn’t fair and he wonders for how long he can manage his own pain.
-=-
He watches the two of them and wonders at the subtle shift between them. Rose, pretending that France had never happened and the Doctor avoiding. Mickey hasn’t been traveling with them very long but he thinks that the Doctor’s gotten very good at that. Avoiding, that is.
He notices that Rose stands a little more closely to the Doctor, clings a little less casually to his hands and that, at times, her laughter is more forced that it should be. The Doctor pretends that he doesn’t see it and seems to welcome the affection as a form of atonement. Mickey resists the urge to say what he’s thinking but he thinks he hates the Doctor a bit for that. He wants to tell Rose that he still loves her and that this bloke could leave her again, will leave her. He wants to push the Doctor away and take Rose back home with him; where she’ll be his and he’ll be hers.
The way it use to be.
But when he sees the way her eyes light up at the Doctor, when he hears the sound of her laughter; he understands why the Doctor won’t let her go. And why it’s so hard for him to let go.
-=-
It isn’t until later, until after he stays behind, that he realizes how much he loved the life he had with them.
He misses her. Everyday, every afternoon, every evening. He thinks about her
He looks at the stars and knows that they are not the same stars they are traveling through, not the same moon, not the same sun. The Doctor’s words echo around his head constantly and there isn’t a day that goes by that he doesn’t think about them.
We can't ever return.
He also thinks about how close they were, how “together” they seemed. From the moment she met the Doctor, Mickey had become an after thought. She pursued the Doctor and the mystery that was forming around her with such a passion that the life she had shared with him had faded away into broken memories. He traveled with them, he’s seen the “them” up close and there really wasn’t anymore room for him, even after France. Yeah, he and Rose had something once and he’s not sure that will ever go away completely.
For him.
Because it was never about Mickey and Rose. There would never be another choice for her, the choice had been made the day she had met him.
And he thinks he finally understands that.