Digging around...
I finding my way back to things and sorting everything out. I guess I owe my journal an update.
The beginning of the year was a stumble. Changes and indecision marked almost everyday. The biggest thing was that my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had a mastectomy and went through chemotherapy, so for now she is alright. She is tired and sick a lot, but she is fighting through. Our house in Alabama was sold, so it is no longer home... As for the indecision, I nearly did it. I nearly dropped out of my masters to pursue my BFA. But when my mom was diagnosed, it kind of changed everything. So here I am, still in Texas, still in my degree program.
What else has happened...
I went to San Diego for a week to run a half-marathon in support of Leukemia. I finished and it was fantastic. It was very relaxing there. I went kayaking and snorkeling for the first time. I also went on a ghost hunt and heard a voice in my ear. I think the most unusual thing that happened then was my random snogging session with an Australian at the hostel. Lesson: Don't agree to dinner and drinks with someone that sets off your dodgy radar or who can't shut up about themselves. Thank god I left for my hotel the next day.
Last month I went to Korea for a month doing the same English teaching. Although this time I was a real teacher. It was incredibly fulfilling, and my students won me over again. But it wasn't there - that wind that calls to me. So I knew it wasn't the right place. I made two new friends, but it seems short lived.
So back to Texas... I am trying to sort everything out now and come to terms with myself. For a while I was thinking about Keith and thinking that my life would have been different if I had opened my eyes more. But it's alright, I am putting that behind me. Maybe. I am missing people a lot.
... Alone on the shrinking piece of land, the caretaker looked around at the charred ruins that remained. The materials were running low, and soon there would be nothing left to build with. On regretful knees, the caretaker looks across the aching void, over the oldest of bridges and beyond.
My dearest friend, I am crying for you deep in my heart.
The beginning of the year was a stumble. Changes and indecision marked almost everyday. The biggest thing was that my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had a mastectomy and went through chemotherapy, so for now she is alright. She is tired and sick a lot, but she is fighting through. Our house in Alabama was sold, so it is no longer home... As for the indecision, I nearly did it. I nearly dropped out of my masters to pursue my BFA. But when my mom was diagnosed, it kind of changed everything. So here I am, still in Texas, still in my degree program.
What else has happened...
I went to San Diego for a week to run a half-marathon in support of Leukemia. I finished and it was fantastic. It was very relaxing there. I went kayaking and snorkeling for the first time. I also went on a ghost hunt and heard a voice in my ear. I think the most unusual thing that happened then was my random snogging session with an Australian at the hostel. Lesson: Don't agree to dinner and drinks with someone that sets off your dodgy radar or who can't shut up about themselves. Thank god I left for my hotel the next day.
Last month I went to Korea for a month doing the same English teaching. Although this time I was a real teacher. It was incredibly fulfilling, and my students won me over again. But it wasn't there - that wind that calls to me. So I knew it wasn't the right place. I made two new friends, but it seems short lived.
So back to Texas... I am trying to sort everything out now and come to terms with myself. For a while I was thinking about Keith and thinking that my life would have been different if I had opened my eyes more. But it's alright, I am putting that behind me. Maybe. I am missing people a lot.
... Alone on the shrinking piece of land, the caretaker looked around at the charred ruins that remained. The materials were running low, and soon there would be nothing left to build with. On regretful knees, the caretaker looks across the aching void, over the oldest of bridges and beyond.
My dearest friend, I am crying for you deep in my heart.