Free In You - The Indigo Girls
A hard knock
A cold clock
Ticking off my time
A long look
But no luck
Couldn't seem to find
Or unwind
Into peace of mind
While I was trying
A quick glance
A big chance
My heart beat like a drum
I saw you
And I knew
Chances just don't come
Round again
Not like this
First a laugh
Then a kiss
And I'm free in you
I've got no worries on my mind
I know what to do
That's to treat you right
And love you kind
Thank you ever on my mind
Love is just like breathing
When it's true
And I'm free in you
The lost time
And self pride
Are my big mistakes
A clear voice
A bad choice
Sounding like an ache
In my day
Not too bad
But too real
To go away
But now I'm free in you
I've got no worries on my mind
I know what to do
That's to treat you right
And love you kind
Thank you ever on my mind
Love is just like breathing
When it's true
And I'm free in you
And I don't know
How you show
Such gentle disregard
For the ugly in me
That I see
That for so long
I took so hard
And I truly believe
That you see the best in me
I'm in love
We all love
And that thought
Sets me free
Free in you
Got no worries on my mind
I know what to do
That's to treat you right
And love you kind
Thank you ever on my mind
Love is just like breathing
When it's true
And I'm free in you
Yes I'm free in you
I had quite a startling revelation last week. Something so jolting and otherwise unraveling, it basically took my extreme shortcomings and other presonal defects and shoved them into my face in such a manner that my world was swaying in a way that made me think it would crumble under the pressure. It almost did. But some people are just so trusting, and so forgiving that they are willing to believe you when you assure them with every ounce of sencerity you can possibly muster, that you are changing because the person you've been, isn't what they deserve, isn't what everyone else around you deserves, and isn't what you deserve.
Well, as the story goes, you work your ass off to change. And you're trying to do it without getting caught up in the whirlwind of shit around you. Knowing one thing can set you free, you keep your eyes glued on it, and work towards it like you've never worked towards anything before. And one day, they see it in your eyes. Your undying adoration. The depth of your love. Your effort to change. And they open their arms to you again, and all is right.
Now, about this weekend. I won't post anything about what may or may not have gone down between my brother's birthday where I went back to Six Flags last monday, and Saturday, because I told someone very dear, someone most dear, that nothing like that mattered. So, onto what does matter. We went up to UConn to see Dan. It was also Nichole's going away party. A friend of Ian's and Dan's, not really of mine as I really don't know her, but I was happy to go to wish her a good time in Greece. However, Dan and I refused to pay 25$ for strippers and cheap beer. That just wasn't happening. And it occured to Ian later on that he won't know anyone at this party. It wasn't just her going away party, it was like a few combind into one. So, we opted out, with Ian going to see Nichole sometime to wish her a good time on his own at some point. Instead, we got beer and munchies. We hung out in the cemetary, the three of us, sharing stories, singing, and just... relaxing in the company of the dead. Twas nice. The entire weekend was nice, really. Spent two days chillin' with Dan, instead of an afternoon. So, this was definately good. It... was good for healing, I think. Alright. I'm ready to face another, my final week at Gentiva. Bring it ON!! *smiles* Bucks came by this evening. A talk was had over scottish ale and pasta. Twas a good talk. And never you worry, Bucks. You've always been a friend. You're family. Nothing can change that. I've got your back. Thanks for coming down to see me today and last tuesday. I really appriciate it. I think beers, smokes and good talks SHOULD be our new weekly ritual. At least weekly. Thanks alot, bro. And the same goes to Dan. I owe him a good century of warrior servitude for all he's done for me of late. But I do believe, as late as it is, it behooves me to go to bed. On that note. Goodnight.