Notes from aboard the Endless Flying Dinner Party

[themolesmother]

Whew.

It’s quite a shock to realise that the last proper entry I made in this journal was at the end of June. The weeks have flown by.

We’re nearly at the end of the most hectic part of the season, the bit I’ve privately nicknamed The Endless Flying Dinner Party (with apologies to the late great Douglas Adams). Each day is a blur of cleaning, bedmaking, shopping, and cooking rounded off with hosting dinner for the current guests nearly every night.   Our record this year is 13 people round the table including us and visiting friends.

Tonight we’re not cooking, as all the present crop of guests have decided to eat out, and it comes as a blessed relief. It’s a chance to catch our breath, cook ourselves something simple and get to bed before midnight for once. It looks as if the EFD won’t be taking off again until Thursday, so we’ve got a few quiet nights to look forward to.

Scanning my Friends Page, I realise how much I’ve missed, and I aim to catch up with it over the next few days. For the moment, though, here’s a little reflection for anyone contemplating leaving the UK and setting up a B&B in France.

Ten things every aspiring French B&B owner should know
 

1. There is a direct inverse relationship between the number of questions a potential customer asks and their propensity to book a room.
2. People who come across as not very friendly in an email are often charm personified when you actually meet them. Sadly, the reverse is often true as well.
3. Some people are just born to get lost. No matter how carefully you give them directions they will always end up miles from your place in the middle of a field.
4. The one night stay family of five who have not booked dinner will inevitably arrive late without any prior warning just as you are in the middle of serving the main course to a party of eight. They will then ask if you wouldn’t mind just quickly heating up the baby’s bottle for them as her feed’s overdue.
5. Someone will always try and kick off the conversation at dinner by asking if you “are living the dream”.
6. Throwing a mixed group of guests of several nationalities together round a table and hoping they will get on is a risky business but for every disaster there will be three evenings you will remember with pleasure for a long time to come.
7. Labour saving devices do not really save much labour. Loading the average dishwasher takes a heightened sense of spatial perception and the patience of a saint.
8. Some guests make the bed for you on the day of their departure. There is no rational explanation for this.
9.  Despite repeated checking of rooms, a large family group will always leave some important possession behind. If you are very unlucky they will return fifteen minutes later to collect it.
10. It is the glowing message in the guestbook and the occasional present that make it all worthwhile somehow.

Off to bed now - I’m so tired I could sleep for a week.

MM