(no subject)
Yesterday was what I thought was the hardest day ever. Having the decision rest on my own shoulders of whether I should put my best friend to sleep or have her suffer because she couldn't move or have any control over her own body.
The decision was obviously clear but, I didn't want to truly admit to it. I know I couldn't have her suffer and be in pain but, she looked like she was still so full of life. You could just tell that she had lost her mind. She didn't know where she was or what she was doing. So, I told the doctor to go ahead and put her down.
I had the choice of being in the room as they did it or not. I chose to be there. I wanted to be there so she knew that I was there with her to the end and, that I love her with all of my heart.
When they brought her into the room, they laid her on the table and they gave a few moments before they injected her. I was petting and she looked me in the eye. I looked right back at her and told her that I love her and that I was sorry. I kissed her little head and gave the doctor the okay.
In her crazed state she was looking all around the room just moving her body and tail any which way it went and, slowly as the injection took affect she just suddenly became calm and very still. It was the most peaceful I had ever saw her. Also the most heartbreaking moment I've ever been through.
She was my best friend. When I would come home from work, she'd be waiting for me at the top of the stairs. In the mornings she would be the one that comes in and wakes me up. Just trying to get my attention so I could pet her. Alot of the times I shooed her away just to go back to sleep. Of course, now I'm beating myself up over that. Just like times I would lock her out of my room and she'd claw at the door to come in. She used to bring me dead mice and birds and anything else that she caught just to show me that she loved me. Each time I'd be disgusted but I made sure to congradulate her on her catch so she didn't feel bad. My room now feels completely empty. All that's left is her food dish and her toys. I can't even build up the strength to throw her food out because that's where she was when she had her stroke.
I'm just a complete and total wreck and I have no energy to do anything anymore. I can't even eat or even go to work. The pain of her death weighs heavy on my heart. I can't even really believe that she's gone. She's been here for so long and was always apart of my life.
I plan on getting a tattoo in memory of her. I was thinking of her name on my left wrist and the date of her death. I dont know but I'm getting something for sure.
Rest in Peace Molly. You'll always be in my heart, in my mind and, in my prayers.
I love you.
The decision was obviously clear but, I didn't want to truly admit to it. I know I couldn't have her suffer and be in pain but, she looked like she was still so full of life. You could just tell that she had lost her mind. She didn't know where she was or what she was doing. So, I told the doctor to go ahead and put her down.
I had the choice of being in the room as they did it or not. I chose to be there. I wanted to be there so she knew that I was there with her to the end and, that I love her with all of my heart.
When they brought her into the room, they laid her on the table and they gave a few moments before they injected her. I was petting and she looked me in the eye. I looked right back at her and told her that I love her and that I was sorry. I kissed her little head and gave the doctor the okay.
In her crazed state she was looking all around the room just moving her body and tail any which way it went and, slowly as the injection took affect she just suddenly became calm and very still. It was the most peaceful I had ever saw her. Also the most heartbreaking moment I've ever been through.
She was my best friend. When I would come home from work, she'd be waiting for me at the top of the stairs. In the mornings she would be the one that comes in and wakes me up. Just trying to get my attention so I could pet her. Alot of the times I shooed her away just to go back to sleep. Of course, now I'm beating myself up over that. Just like times I would lock her out of my room and she'd claw at the door to come in. She used to bring me dead mice and birds and anything else that she caught just to show me that she loved me. Each time I'd be disgusted but I made sure to congradulate her on her catch so she didn't feel bad. My room now feels completely empty. All that's left is her food dish and her toys. I can't even build up the strength to throw her food out because that's where she was when she had her stroke.
I'm just a complete and total wreck and I have no energy to do anything anymore. I can't even eat or even go to work. The pain of her death weighs heavy on my heart. I can't even really believe that she's gone. She's been here for so long and was always apart of my life.
I plan on getting a tattoo in memory of her. I was thinking of her name on my left wrist and the date of her death. I dont know but I'm getting something for sure.
Rest in Peace Molly. You'll always be in my heart, in my mind and, in my prayers.
I love you.