Long Day...
Well today was a long ass day at the putt. got there at 9:30 and didnt leave till about 10:30.. oh so much fun.. it was alright.. did lazer tag for some group of intermediate kids.. they all smelled really bad... blah.. um sat around and kept myself busy... Ron came in and I talked to him for awhile.. I don't know...lately I have been thinking about alot. so I guess I spill some of it in here.. Well I am really looking forward to college.. I have orientation in just a couple weeks.. I havn't decided if I will take any summer classes or not.. but eh thats not that important.. umm my family life is going to be crazy alot of shit is about to go down and I am really dreading it..Life as I know it has kind of been bumming me out... work is probably one of my top bad list.. people just don't seem to understand it either... well here is the 411. People think putt putt should be grand cuz all my friends I got jobs there.. but the thing is.. it puts so much stress on me to make sure I do a good job as well as them and trying to let them have fun but being responsible as well.. there is so many rumors and lies and drama that goes down there and to top it off.. alot of people want me gone. I have made several good friends thanks to Putt.. including AJ, Joey!, Jamie, Chelsea, etc.. but its not enough to convince me to stay...I look for a new job every chance I get. and even if I wernt to find a job I am gone in 3 months anyways.. which brings me to my next point.. recently I have come across people that I would normally like to pursue a relationship with or at least date them.. but I can't because of the lack of time I have... and its funny because I havnt found a girl I like in a long time. Sometimes I really miss having a relationship in my life.. someone I can hold onto when I have had a bad day or just someone to talk to.. just that feeling you get when your around them... and how they can always put a smile on your face and how they care about you.. yada yada yada... just sometimes I feel really lonely... espically when I am around people I am interested in.. and sometimes I feel completly opposite of that.. I am just like screw it I just want to fool around.. sometimes I confuse myself.. and with my friends... I am unsure of so many things.. and I wish I had that friend that I knew would always be there and I could count on.. but I have never really had that.. maybe I will one day.. so many people have screwed me over recently I don't know who I can trust.. so if I do tell you secrets or about myself.. it means I really appreciate you as a friend. Lately it seems like everyone sees me as this crazy party kid who knows how to have fun and has good parties.. and no one really remembers like nice sweet kid I used to be and deep down still am.. and alot of people have been blowing me off or doing things that hurt me... I just don't bring it up and I just hold it in and sometimes cry when I am by myself.. I wish more people took the time getting to know me as a person and not my bank account.. it seems more and more that I am paying for people and they dont even really appreciate it... there just like meh he's rich who cares.. which I don't mind helping my friends out.. but I also want to be thanked or appreciated.. I think apart of me just wants to get away from it all... I am tired of basically everything.. it never gets better.. I lay alone thinking to myself at night... wondering when something good will come my way... Well I have had enough about writing this junk.. I am sure your tired of reading it... but if you want to find out more or talk about it.. feel free to call 832 492 7725. well I am off to bed... goodnight