A WEEK OF JON AND STEPHEN
With the Report in the Gulf this week I have decided to liveblog The Daily Show and Colbert Report. Because I love Jon and Stephen both equally.
I was going to make this public except I can't figure out how to override my default security settings. It let me, just now. Hmm.
Jon looks very energetic tonight.
1) Humble pie for Jon? Oh Jon. They're talking about the Starbucks product placement on the news. People get so defensive when Jon pokes fun at them.
Oh SNAP, Jon. Oh SNAP.
ETA: LOL Where in the world did they get a place to shove all those people in. 90 writers?! I had no idea. How do they get anything done?
Jon's energy is making me wonder if he anticipates a Stephen appearance. Hey, a girl can dream?
2) Fox News burn! Jon you are on fire tonight. Talking about Obama's recent speech and how Fox reacted to it. I think this book was given to him by Rahm, perhaps.
Oh and here's MSNBC. Talking about Limbaugh. HI KEITH.
Oh CNN and your obsession with technology. Jon is not impressed by how many Twitter followers you have, CNN. "Am I going to have to take out a restraining order on CNN?" CNN is a do-it-yourself network. (They do have an obsession with Twitter and Facebook, guys.)
3) The MTV movie awards? What what is this. Apparently someone fell on someone else and there was some rear end showing. Fox complaining about MTV "crossing the line" with the kidlings watching.
ETA Jon harkening back to his own MTV days and some more making fun of Fox for footage of a, uh. A lingerie football league with girls running around in underwear. Nice move, Fox. Also a poke at Geraldo.
4) Tonight's guest is Gretchen Peters, who wrote a book called Seeds of Terror, about terrorism. She apparently lived in Pakistan for a while. She is also apparently six feet tall. Oh Jon we can be short together.
Jon asking if she was hassled while researching it. It's about how drug trafficking is funding terrorism and how going after the individual farmers doesn't work. This is interesting. $4 billion dollars just within Afghanistan. The Taliban alone -- just in Afghanistan -- make about half a billion dollars a year off the drug trade. o_O They use the money to pay for their operational costs -- opium money helps pay for attacks on American soldiers.
ETA The biggest problem, she says, is finding reliable partners because the governments are filled with drug corruption.
ETA 2 - Hearing Jon curse always does something to me. Also, flirting with his guests. It's getting kinda late, guys, I don't know if they'll have time for a Toss. Maybe.
5) No Toss, but a Shout-Out to stay tuned. The moment of zen is some Fox people with, er, feather boas.
AND HERE'S STEPHEN BB.
1) A throwback to last thirsday (wtf why did I spell it like that) Thursday and Stephen's ~fabulous~ purple tie. Also some behind-the-scenes stuff. I think he is about to get kidnapped. (Yep, he is. Oh Stephen!!)
CASUAL!STEPHEN ALERT.
Slowly figuring out where he is. This is ridiculously exciting guys. Also video of a picture we've already seen! You rock the body armor, Mr. Colbert.
...LOL SHOE(S) and a FANCY NEW INTRO: OPERATION IRAQI STEPHEN
They have got a fancy set-up for him, y'all.
2) For some reason he has a golf club. Oh and he's still got his hair! There are a lot of people in the auditorium. And Stephen is obviously excited. "The sharpest, coolest, sexiest fighting force in the history of mankind."
Apparently it is hot there -- and guys, you know if a Southerner thinks it's hot, it's hot. They are in Saddam Hussein's "Water Palace."
John McCain! Interesting. Giving a shout-out and poking some fun at himself.
3) Stephen is surprised because he hasn't seen any news stories about Iraq in months. Oh Stephen, this is why I love you. He's bringing attention back to this area where the news has been ignoring it. (And it's working, I think.)
4) A WORD OMG YOU GUYS. "Why Are You Here?" He's going over the rules of war -- it's not over until someone declares victory, and he's at Camp Victory, so obviously we've won! ;) A mention of January 2010's elections too. ETA - It doesn't hurt if he declares a victory, either.
I am loving the audience shots here.
5) Talking about the ten hours he spent in Basic Training. (Jimmy came with him! XD) A video clip of him arriving in a limo and the glorious red tracksuit. Oh, this is adorable. Stephen brought too much stuff.
...Semi-shirtless Stephen *coughs* and a, um, personal-size joke. I predict icons within the next news cycle.
...Do you really want to give Stephen a gun with a knife attached, really. And general working out/exercising. (Stephen were you calling Jon?)
6) His guest tonight is General Ray OhdearIcan'tspellthatandwilllookituplater Odierno. The general is not enthusiastic about Stephen's declaration of victory. Explaining what is left to be done. The last week was the lowest amount of incidents since they've been keeping records in Iraq. They're seeing progress with the local people but they need long-term stability. (Stephen says we could use some of that at home right now.)
"It's not so much what you did, it's what you had." His hair (lol the general is bald, nice one) makes his basic training unrealistic. The men and women in camo are lapping this up.
It will take more than a four-star general to get him to cut his hair: ENTER POTUS OBAMA GUYS. Oh man I am giggling really hard right now, Obama is playing along with "Stephen" all the way. And as many of us have heard already he ordered the General to shave Stephen's head.
He is on the edge of a laugh, but that would be rather dangerous with electric blades at your head, and the audience is like "LOLOL YES" aw -- we don't get to see the whole thing. Commercial break. But nice audience shot!
7) I have no idea how I got to seven parts, but alright. Oh and NOW it's letting me make the post public. Nice, LJ.
A wonderful audience shot with the new hair! Stephen sitting with the troops and rubbing the new fuzz. A good few sweeps of the crowd, too, with a couple shots of Stephen.
I'm so proud of him for doing this, guys. ♥
SEE Y'ALL TOMORROW
I was going to make this public except I can't figure out how to override my default security settings. It let me, just now. Hmm.
Jon looks very energetic tonight.
1) Humble pie for Jon? Oh Jon. They're talking about the Starbucks product placement on the news. People get so defensive when Jon pokes fun at them.
Oh SNAP, Jon. Oh SNAP.
ETA: LOL Where in the world did they get a place to shove all those people in. 90 writers?! I had no idea. How do they get anything done?
Jon's energy is making me wonder if he anticipates a Stephen appearance. Hey, a girl can dream?
2) Fox News burn! Jon you are on fire tonight. Talking about Obama's recent speech and how Fox reacted to it. I think this book was given to him by Rahm, perhaps.
Oh and here's MSNBC. Talking about Limbaugh. HI KEITH.
Oh CNN and your obsession with technology. Jon is not impressed by how many Twitter followers you have, CNN. "Am I going to have to take out a restraining order on CNN?" CNN is a do-it-yourself network. (They do have an obsession with Twitter and Facebook, guys.)
3) The MTV movie awards? What what is this. Apparently someone fell on someone else and there was some rear end showing. Fox complaining about MTV "crossing the line" with the kidlings watching.
ETA Jon harkening back to his own MTV days and some more making fun of Fox for footage of a, uh. A lingerie football league with girls running around in underwear. Nice move, Fox. Also a poke at Geraldo.
4) Tonight's guest is Gretchen Peters, who wrote a book called Seeds of Terror, about terrorism. She apparently lived in Pakistan for a while. She is also apparently six feet tall. Oh Jon we can be short together.
Jon asking if she was hassled while researching it. It's about how drug trafficking is funding terrorism and how going after the individual farmers doesn't work. This is interesting. $4 billion dollars just within Afghanistan. The Taliban alone -- just in Afghanistan -- make about half a billion dollars a year off the drug trade. o_O They use the money to pay for their operational costs -- opium money helps pay for attacks on American soldiers.
ETA The biggest problem, she says, is finding reliable partners because the governments are filled with drug corruption.
ETA 2 - Hearing Jon curse always does something to me. Also, flirting with his guests. It's getting kinda late, guys, I don't know if they'll have time for a Toss. Maybe.
5) No Toss, but a Shout-Out to stay tuned. The moment of zen is some Fox people with, er, feather boas.
AND HERE'S STEPHEN BB.
1) A throwback to last thirsday (wtf why did I spell it like that) Thursday and Stephen's ~fabulous~ purple tie. Also some behind-the-scenes stuff. I think he is about to get kidnapped. (Yep, he is. Oh Stephen!!)
CASUAL!STEPHEN ALERT.
Slowly figuring out where he is. This is ridiculously exciting guys. Also video of a picture we've already seen! You rock the body armor, Mr. Colbert.
...LOL SHOE(S) and a FANCY NEW INTRO: OPERATION IRAQI STEPHEN
They have got a fancy set-up for him, y'all.
2) For some reason he has a golf club. Oh and he's still got his hair! There are a lot of people in the auditorium. And Stephen is obviously excited. "The sharpest, coolest, sexiest fighting force in the history of mankind."
Apparently it is hot there -- and guys, you know if a Southerner thinks it's hot, it's hot. They are in Saddam Hussein's "Water Palace."
John McCain! Interesting. Giving a shout-out and poking some fun at himself.
3) Stephen is surprised because he hasn't seen any news stories about Iraq in months. Oh Stephen, this is why I love you. He's bringing attention back to this area where the news has been ignoring it. (And it's working, I think.)
4) A WORD OMG YOU GUYS. "Why Are You Here?" He's going over the rules of war -- it's not over until someone declares victory, and he's at Camp Victory, so obviously we've won! ;) A mention of January 2010's elections too. ETA - It doesn't hurt if he declares a victory, either.
I am loving the audience shots here.
5) Talking about the ten hours he spent in Basic Training. (Jimmy came with him! XD) A video clip of him arriving in a limo and the glorious red tracksuit. Oh, this is adorable. Stephen brought too much stuff.
...Semi-shirtless Stephen *coughs* and a, um, personal-size joke. I predict icons within the next news cycle.
...Do you really want to give Stephen a gun with a knife attached, really. And general working out/exercising. (Stephen were you calling Jon?)
6) His guest tonight is General Ray OhdearIcan'tspellthatandwilllookituplater Odierno. The general is not enthusiastic about Stephen's declaration of victory. Explaining what is left to be done. The last week was the lowest amount of incidents since they've been keeping records in Iraq. They're seeing progress with the local people but they need long-term stability. (Stephen says we could use some of that at home right now.)
"It's not so much what you did, it's what you had." His hair (lol the general is bald, nice one) makes his basic training unrealistic. The men and women in camo are lapping this up.
It will take more than a four-star general to get him to cut his hair: ENTER POTUS OBAMA GUYS. Oh man I am giggling really hard right now, Obama is playing along with "Stephen" all the way. And as many of us have heard already he ordered the General to shave Stephen's head.
He is on the edge of a laugh, but that would be rather dangerous with electric blades at your head, and the audience is like "LOLOL YES" aw -- we don't get to see the whole thing. Commercial break. But nice audience shot!
7) I have no idea how I got to seven parts, but alright. Oh and NOW it's letting me make the post public. Nice, LJ.
A wonderful audience shot with the new hair! Stephen sitting with the troops and rubbing the new fuzz. A good few sweeps of the crowd, too, with a couple shots of Stephen.
I'm so proud of him for doing this, guys. ♥
SEE Y'ALL TOMORROW