(no subject)
Today I was looking at a book (because you know I am the kind of person who looks at books all the time, you know?) and it dawned upon me that if all books were half as good as their jacket quotes suggested, it wouldn't really matter what books you read because they would all be brilliant. It also dawned upon me that inventing these sorts of quotes is fun. So here are some about a fictional book by Aaron Mendelson called The Mendelbook. Hopefully the powers that be in the publishing industry will take notice of these and start paying me to make this shit up.
"The Mendelbook is a bona fide work of genius. Not since William Shakespeare burst upon the scene in 1590 [give or take, fucker] has there been such good reason to be excited about a new talent."
--Michiko Kakutani New York Times
"The most important and exhilarating work since the Bible, hands down."
--Pope Benedict XVI
"To say that Mendelson ignores the line between fact and fiction is understatement. What we're looking at is a new kind of writing altogether...revelatory"
--Kirkus Reviews, Starred Review
"Best book of the past quarter millennium."
--"Silent" Calvin Coolidge
"Read this book. Now."
--"Dr." Phil
"Simultaneously the most tragic and most joyous thoughts ever committed to paper...enthralling"
--Rocky Mountain News
"Aaron Mendelson is like Kurt Cobain, only much better."
Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic, Starred Review
"The Mendelbook is a bona fide work of genius. Not since William Shakespeare burst upon the scene in 1590 [give or take, fucker] has there been such good reason to be excited about a new talent."
--Michiko Kakutani New York Times
"The most important and exhilarating work since the Bible, hands down."
--Pope Benedict XVI
"To say that Mendelson ignores the line between fact and fiction is understatement. What we're looking at is a new kind of writing altogether...revelatory"
--Kirkus Reviews, Starred Review
"Best book of the past quarter millennium."
--"Silent" Calvin Coolidge
"Read this book. Now."
--"Dr." Phil
"Simultaneously the most tragic and most joyous thoughts ever committed to paper...enthralling"
--Rocky Mountain News
"Aaron Mendelson is like Kurt Cobain, only much better."
Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic, Starred Review