LJ Idol Week 4: Sexual Ethics
"You people and your quaint little categories."
Imagine my amusement at spending an evening introducing my mother to Torchwood only to come back to the internet to find this new topic. Brilliant. Ironic, but brilliant, because really? Sex is one thing everyone has an opinion on.
Sexual Ethics? Well, mine probably aren't that great. But then, what defines good sexual ethics? Monogamy? I think it's pretty obvious that isn't the only choice and really doesn't suit a lot of people at all. Not going behind someone's back? Boundaries on who you are or are not interested in? Denial? To me, it sounds like a lot of denial.
Years ago when I was in high school, I was staunchly in the court of you don't have sex until you're married, you only ever have sex with that one person and you have babies. Well, I was raised very Catholic. But then you look around at the world and you have all this sex in movies and television and advertising--it's everywhere, quite literally. Sex sells, as they say, it's the forbidden fruit, Garden of Eden and all that.
"Here's to Eve, mother of our race, who wore a fig leaf in just the right place. Here's to Adam, father of us all, who was Johnny on the spot when the leaves began to fall."
I have a problem with roommates. Not mine, usually. I had one long-term relationship at the beginning of my college years, after that I sort-of dated two of his ex-roommates, from different years. The one guy I did date was roommates at the time with his roommate's ex-roommate. It was a complicated sort of web of a mess but strangely, never seemed to pass the boundaries too badly. But then again, we didn't talk.
"I don't date."
Plenty of people have heard me say this in the past two years, and it's true. I don't date. Dating someone means that I have to be with them and only them in that big accepted idea of dating, and unless I'm going to be with them and only them for the rest of forever, it doesn't sound very fair. Maybe I've taken that to an extreme. Maybe I'm terrified of commitment and am never going to get over it, I don't know. I don't date. It isn't fair and I've got eyes, I've got eyes and I'm someone who's been kissed a lot.
This evening my mother and I were talking about my youngest sister. She, too, had a terrible relationship, one that has fairly recently been officially shot in the water and ended. He tended to call her a whore. She's a virgin and her response was always "I've kissed two guys in the past year, how does that make me a whore?" I concur. I kiss two guys in a night. With startling regularity.
I think my record is at 14. There was a toga involved.
Am I wrong? Do I violate sexual ethics? Probably. But the important thing is that I don't violate my own sexual ethics. I'm true to myself, I don't hold myself back when it comes to feeling affection and attraction to people, I want the people I care about to be happy, no matter who it is they're with. Have I gone behind someone's back? Once, yes, and I told her about it. Plus it was a question of "are you happy?"
She was my roommate. I have a thing with roommates.
Imagine my amusement at spending an evening introducing my mother to Torchwood only to come back to the internet to find this new topic. Brilliant. Ironic, but brilliant, because really? Sex is one thing everyone has an opinion on.
Sexual Ethics? Well, mine probably aren't that great. But then, what defines good sexual ethics? Monogamy? I think it's pretty obvious that isn't the only choice and really doesn't suit a lot of people at all. Not going behind someone's back? Boundaries on who you are or are not interested in? Denial? To me, it sounds like a lot of denial.
Years ago when I was in high school, I was staunchly in the court of you don't have sex until you're married, you only ever have sex with that one person and you have babies. Well, I was raised very Catholic. But then you look around at the world and you have all this sex in movies and television and advertising--it's everywhere, quite literally. Sex sells, as they say, it's the forbidden fruit, Garden of Eden and all that.
"Here's to Eve, mother of our race, who wore a fig leaf in just the right place. Here's to Adam, father of us all, who was Johnny on the spot when the leaves began to fall."
I have a problem with roommates. Not mine, usually. I had one long-term relationship at the beginning of my college years, after that I sort-of dated two of his ex-roommates, from different years. The one guy I did date was roommates at the time with his roommate's ex-roommate. It was a complicated sort of web of a mess but strangely, never seemed to pass the boundaries too badly. But then again, we didn't talk.
"I don't date."
Plenty of people have heard me say this in the past two years, and it's true. I don't date. Dating someone means that I have to be with them and only them in that big accepted idea of dating, and unless I'm going to be with them and only them for the rest of forever, it doesn't sound very fair. Maybe I've taken that to an extreme. Maybe I'm terrified of commitment and am never going to get over it, I don't know. I don't date. It isn't fair and I've got eyes, I've got eyes and I'm someone who's been kissed a lot.
This evening my mother and I were talking about my youngest sister. She, too, had a terrible relationship, one that has fairly recently been officially shot in the water and ended. He tended to call her a whore. She's a virgin and her response was always "I've kissed two guys in the past year, how does that make me a whore?" I concur. I kiss two guys in a night. With startling regularity.
I think my record is at 14. There was a toga involved.
Am I wrong? Do I violate sexual ethics? Probably. But the important thing is that I don't violate my own sexual ethics. I'm true to myself, I don't hold myself back when it comes to feeling affection and attraction to people, I want the people I care about to be happy, no matter who it is they're with. Have I gone behind someone's back? Once, yes, and I told her about it. Plus it was a question of "are you happy?"
She was my roommate. I have a thing with roommates.