[Fic] Curse Words
Title: Curse Words
Fandom: Heroes
Characters: Noah Bennet, Claude Rains
Rating: PG for language
Word count: 503
Notes: Rookie!Noah is a filthy-mouthed drunk. Claude approves.
“Donkey‘s yawn. Bonne-bouche. Upright grin.”
“Fascinating!” Claude had no idea Noah knew so many different words for lady parts. He’d lost count but Noah’d been reciting, as if from a list, for a good, long minute. More beer found its way into a half-empty glass. “I don‘t think I‘ve heard ‘donkey‘s yawn‘ before… But what about actual curses?”
“Dun like ‘em,” Noah said drunkenly. “Dirty.”
“And ‘prick-purse‘ isn‘t?!” Claude asked, clearly very amused by this whole conversation.
Noah chuckled into his glass. “’s funny.”
"Yer funny, mate," Claude said. "Lemme get you another?"
Noah blearily looked at the sudsy, but sadly mostly empty, glass in his hand and smiled, "Sure."
A moment later, Claude slid another pint across to Noah who happily sucked the foam off the top. "Like cock, tho'," he slurred. "'s a good word."
Claude grinned widely, "It is, isn't it?" Oh, Claude really hoped Noah would remember this WHOLE conversation in the morning. "What do you like best about cock, rookie?"
Three beers and Noah was finding he was completely unable to tell when Claude was messing with him; not that was too adept at it when he was sober, either. "Er," he blinked muzzily at his beer. "Ummmm... I guess the way it feels in my mouth?" he said with no trace of understanding how that might be misconstrued. "Caw-keh," he intoned very seriously.
"Hm," Claude said into his beer.
"I'm not 'weird'," Noah said. "I just like cock."
"Mm-hmm..." Claude's eyebrows shot up. Why didn't he think to palm a voice recorder?
"I do! 's a good word."
"Oh, I believe you, mate," Claude said, trying his damndest not to collapse into laughter. A wicked thought entered his mind, "But, you know, I don't think others would." He patted down his pockets until he found his notepad and pen. "I reckon you ought to make it official-like."
"Offishal?" Noah asked. "How'm I gonna do that?"
Claude finished writing something down on his note pad and held it up to read, "My name is Noah Bennet and I like cock. I like how it feels in my mouth. I just like it. That's what you said, right?"
Noah thought about it for a long, drunken, moment, "I think... I think you gotta add that cock is great at the end."
"Ooh, good call, rookie!" Claude gleefully wrote that last bit down then set the notebook down and turned it to face Noah, "Just need your signature, mate, and we're all set. One official declaration of your love of cock."
Noah looked suspiciously at Claude but he couldn't quite work out why he was suspicious. He liked cock. It was a great word. Hm. Yeah, that all seemed okay... He signed a drunken scrawl and Claude immediately clapped him on the shoulder like they were the best of friends and ordered him another beer.
The next time Noah gave him a hard time about his paperwork Claude was going to wave his little declaration of love in his face.
Fandom: Heroes
Characters: Noah Bennet, Claude Rains
Rating: PG for language
Word count: 503
Notes: Rookie!Noah is a filthy-mouthed drunk. Claude approves.
“Donkey‘s yawn. Bonne-bouche. Upright grin.”
“Fascinating!” Claude had no idea Noah knew so many different words for lady parts. He’d lost count but Noah’d been reciting, as if from a list, for a good, long minute. More beer found its way into a half-empty glass. “I don‘t think I‘ve heard ‘donkey‘s yawn‘ before… But what about actual curses?”
“Dun like ‘em,” Noah said drunkenly. “Dirty.”
“And ‘prick-purse‘ isn‘t?!” Claude asked, clearly very amused by this whole conversation.
Noah chuckled into his glass. “’s funny.”
"Yer funny, mate," Claude said. "Lemme get you another?"
Noah blearily looked at the sudsy, but sadly mostly empty, glass in his hand and smiled, "Sure."
A moment later, Claude slid another pint across to Noah who happily sucked the foam off the top. "Like cock, tho'," he slurred. "'s a good word."
Claude grinned widely, "It is, isn't it?" Oh, Claude really hoped Noah would remember this WHOLE conversation in the morning. "What do you like best about cock, rookie?"
Three beers and Noah was finding he was completely unable to tell when Claude was messing with him; not that was too adept at it when he was sober, either. "Er," he blinked muzzily at his beer. "Ummmm... I guess the way it feels in my mouth?" he said with no trace of understanding how that might be misconstrued. "Caw-keh," he intoned very seriously.
"Hm," Claude said into his beer.
"I'm not 'weird'," Noah said. "I just like cock."
"Mm-hmm..." Claude's eyebrows shot up. Why didn't he think to palm a voice recorder?
"I do! 's a good word."
"Oh, I believe you, mate," Claude said, trying his damndest not to collapse into laughter. A wicked thought entered his mind, "But, you know, I don't think others would." He patted down his pockets until he found his notepad and pen. "I reckon you ought to make it official-like."
"Offishal?" Noah asked. "How'm I gonna do that?"
Claude finished writing something down on his note pad and held it up to read, "My name is Noah Bennet and I like cock. I like how it feels in my mouth. I just like it. That's what you said, right?"
Noah thought about it for a long, drunken, moment, "I think... I think you gotta add that cock is great at the end."
"Ooh, good call, rookie!" Claude gleefully wrote that last bit down then set the notebook down and turned it to face Noah, "Just need your signature, mate, and we're all set. One official declaration of your love of cock."
Noah looked suspiciously at Claude but he couldn't quite work out why he was suspicious. He liked cock. It was a great word. Hm. Yeah, that all seemed okay... He signed a drunken scrawl and Claude immediately clapped him on the shoulder like they were the best of friends and ordered him another beer.
The next time Noah gave him a hard time about his paperwork Claude was going to wave his little declaration of love in his face.