OMG, an update!
You know, I had been meaning to do a post since way back after Thanksgiving. I had a great time, and had some good observations about my friends and my life that I wanted to make. But like most things, if I don't get RIGHT on it, my interest level fades quickly.
Work has been going pretty well. We hit our Alpha deadline with all goals met, and I finally got a second engineer. He's decent enough, and he works quickly. His code isn't mind-blowing, by any means. Looking at his code is like watching a High School play. Yeah, the lines are getting said properly, and you can even hear the conviction and some emotion, but it doesn't wow you. (I'm such a snob) He also isn't terribly gifted when it comes to the social skills, something which I'm finding is pretty ubiquitous amongst engineers, making me appreciate all the more when someone comes along who can code AND hold a conversation.
Michelle's been in a bit of a funk lately. Yesterday morning we both got up to go to the gym at 6:30 (quite the feat, considering she usually stays in bed 'til closer to 7:30). She had wanted a change, something to get her motivated, and I figured coming with me in the morning would qualify. I was happy just to have her along, since normally our morning schedules are offset so that we hardly get any time with each other. Aside from being a little tired right after the workout, she was happy, flirty, and upbeat for most of the morning. Right before we left, though, she realized that she hadn't put together the gift packages of cookies that she wanted to for the friends she was going to dinner with that night. That immediately killed her mood. As we were saying goodbye, she still seemed to be down, so in a stupid move on my part, I told her to "snap out of it", and that we could still get them cookies this weekend. Obviously, the cookies were only the tip of the iceberg, and we had a talk about what was bothering her. I realized then that I had been pretty bad at being supportive through a difficult time in her career. I've never been good at being supportive. My usual way of doing that is to sit there and listen when people vent their problems. I honed that skill throughout all of high school and most of college. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to make Michelle feel any better. She'd talk to me about her problems, and still feel down. Then she'd go and talk to her mom or one of her friends, and she'd proclaim that she felt better. I was talking with Amanda yesterday at lunch, and I asked her what one does to be supportive when someone's having a rough time. She said ice cream works. (heh) She also said that do nice things that you might not normally do, like take them out to a nice dinner, bring flowers, etc.
Another realization hit me then, that I don't DO that stuff. It's been a long time since Michelle and I went out to a nice restaurant, or I bought her flowers. I used to get her flowers all the time. It was my thing. I'd get her a nice bouquet of flowers and a copy of US Magazine (for her trash enjoyment). That moment really put into perspective how lazy I've been when it comes to my relationship with Michelle. I'm not so arrogant as to believe that it's the sole cause of her feeling blue lately, but I'm sure it hasn't helped.
Last night I did the last of my Christmas shopping. I picked up the other part of Michelle's present, some wine for my Aunt, chocolates for my underlings, and I also picked up some flowers. It's a start.
Work has been going pretty well. We hit our Alpha deadline with all goals met, and I finally got a second engineer. He's decent enough, and he works quickly. His code isn't mind-blowing, by any means. Looking at his code is like watching a High School play. Yeah, the lines are getting said properly, and you can even hear the conviction and some emotion, but it doesn't wow you. (I'm such a snob) He also isn't terribly gifted when it comes to the social skills, something which I'm finding is pretty ubiquitous amongst engineers, making me appreciate all the more when someone comes along who can code AND hold a conversation.
Michelle's been in a bit of a funk lately. Yesterday morning we both got up to go to the gym at 6:30 (quite the feat, considering she usually stays in bed 'til closer to 7:30). She had wanted a change, something to get her motivated, and I figured coming with me in the morning would qualify. I was happy just to have her along, since normally our morning schedules are offset so that we hardly get any time with each other. Aside from being a little tired right after the workout, she was happy, flirty, and upbeat for most of the morning. Right before we left, though, she realized that she hadn't put together the gift packages of cookies that she wanted to for the friends she was going to dinner with that night. That immediately killed her mood. As we were saying goodbye, she still seemed to be down, so in a stupid move on my part, I told her to "snap out of it", and that we could still get them cookies this weekend. Obviously, the cookies were only the tip of the iceberg, and we had a talk about what was bothering her. I realized then that I had been pretty bad at being supportive through a difficult time in her career. I've never been good at being supportive. My usual way of doing that is to sit there and listen when people vent their problems. I honed that skill throughout all of high school and most of college. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to make Michelle feel any better. She'd talk to me about her problems, and still feel down. Then she'd go and talk to her mom or one of her friends, and she'd proclaim that she felt better. I was talking with Amanda yesterday at lunch, and I asked her what one does to be supportive when someone's having a rough time. She said ice cream works. (heh) She also said that do nice things that you might not normally do, like take them out to a nice dinner, bring flowers, etc.
Another realization hit me then, that I don't DO that stuff. It's been a long time since Michelle and I went out to a nice restaurant, or I bought her flowers. I used to get her flowers all the time. It was my thing. I'd get her a nice bouquet of flowers and a copy of US Magazine (for her trash enjoyment). That moment really put into perspective how lazy I've been when it comes to my relationship with Michelle. I'm not so arrogant as to believe that it's the sole cause of her feeling blue lately, but I'm sure it hasn't helped.
Last night I did the last of my Christmas shopping. I picked up the other part of Michelle's present, some wine for my Aunt, chocolates for my underlings, and I also picked up some flowers. It's a start.