The confusion and solace
I hate this feeling, like I am so angry at everything, but only for moments at a time. Highlight of my day; writing songs about a five stringed guitar on my five stringed guitar. Note to self: FIX THE BROKEN STRING ALREADY! When I'm with him, its like everything is tedious, everything is a bore, nothing is interesting and I just want to get away. When we're apart, I think about all teh good times we've shared, all the fun yet to be had. But then there's him, and teh secret we share, but I don't think it'll ever work because I want this band to work more than I want him. I think he really likes me though, which is hard, especially after last week. Life can never be simple, can it? Everything has to be hard. I love them both, but dammit dont' make me choose. My best times are with him, but I feel obligated to the other. Yet, its summer, so I can't get really worked up about anything, but just stew in teh warmth and teh humidity and teh loneliness. And then teh third drops me a message and adds a ntoehr wrench to the mess. I feel so needed and yet I need my space. Should I embrace these feelings tehy have towards me? At least boy #4 is good. I love him so much now. How can I deal with the melodrama of 1 &2 though? Tomorrow will be tough, just 1, yet Thursday was almost all 2, with a sprinkling of obligatory 1. 1 needs me, its adorable and pathetic and nauseating and exhilerating and agravating and comforting and just everything all at once. I don't know who to talk to about this beacause 1 is out and 2-4 aren't very helpful. Arg.
I'm sorry if that makes little to no sense, but it was more for me than for you anyway.
I'm sorry if that makes little to no sense, but it was more for me than for you anyway.