'I'm not going to try an' talk you out of leaving, Shaz. I don't know why you'd want to leave, makes no sense to me. But...you're my colleague. You said ask no questions, so no questions will be asked.'
There aren't any questions that need asking, really. You're either a copper, or you're not. And she is.
"Thank you, sir." The first thing she thought of when he asked (ordered) to see her privately was that he was going to try and argue at her, try and change her position, though she has no idea why that'd happen. It's painfully obvious that she's not cut out for this. Even the thought of last night, or finding that girl... it's enough to make her want to run howling far, far away from all of this. She holds herself carefully, still not convinced this isn't going to get very loud.
He's as brave as a lion, and he don't have time for anyone who ain't.
After all. DI Drake wouldn't have run from those thugs last night. She didn't run from the body. She proves on a daily basis that she's just as tough as the lads. Shaz just isn't sure anymore that she can ever do the same.
She looks up from her contemplation of her clenched hands quickly, trying to gauge if he's just having one last go at her. For not being good enough. For wasting their time.
What she gets is the Guv in fully serious mode, that expression that comes out when they're all well and truly up against the wall.
"I know what you want me t'do, an' believe me, if I thought I was capable of doing it, I wouldn't be leaving...!" Her voice, much to her eternal embarassment, betrays her - it arcs upward in pitch as the panic of having this thrust upon her sets in.
He cuts her off before she has the chance to go off on one. She has to stay focused.
'All over this country, there are women lyin' in unmarked graves. Now, it's our job an' responsibility to stop this bastard from killin' again.'
The unmarked graves get to him, every time. Kill someone, and chuck them into the ground where no one can find them. He's pretty sure there's a special kind of hell for bastards who do that.
She eyes him, hoping (in vain, she knows) that he will relent. He's right. She knows he's right. She can't forget that poor woman left forgotten in an empty lot. If she goes, she never will forget, and never will forgive herself.
But how much worse will it be if she agrees, and proves horribly that she's just not tough enough for this job?
He's seen this before. Impossible not to, when you've been a copper as long as him. Some of them will lose confidence, doubt their abilites. He's always been of the opinion that you give them the opportunity to get it back, and let them step up, or not.
He always hopes they step up. But it doesn't always happen.
Just a few months ago, her response would have been an almost puppyish glee at being allowed to do this sort of thing. She would catch the killer, she would get him dead to right and it wouldn't be a moment too soon.
Now, she knows she can't say no, and she's terrified of saying yes, but there really isn't anything for it, is there? The idea that there's someone out there, killing young women who's only evident 'crime' was to have a failed marriage, will haunt her forever if she doesn't help catch him.
The terror of going back in, when she is almost certain just this very once the Guv is dead wrong about her abilities, chokes her. Tears come without her wanting them, defying all attempts to force them back down. "And then no more?" She asks, begs, her gaze the wide-eyed stare of a horse being forced over too high a fence.
There aren't any questions that need asking, really. You're either a copper, or you're not. And she is.
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He's as brave as a lion, and he don't have time for anyone who ain't.
After all. DI Drake wouldn't have run from those thugs last night. She didn't run from the body. She proves on a daily basis that she's just as tough as the lads. Shaz just isn't sure anymore that she can ever do the same.
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He knows she will. He knows it. She's a copper, and she's got what it takes. She just needs to believe it.
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What she gets is the Guv in fully serious mode, that expression that comes out when they're all well and truly up against the wall.
"I know what you want me t'do, an' believe me, if I thought I was capable of doing it, I wouldn't be leaving...!" Her voice, much to her eternal embarassment, betrays her - it arcs upward in pitch as the panic of having this thrust upon her sets in.
Reply
He cuts her off before she has the chance to go off on one. She has to stay focused.
'All over this country, there are women lyin' in unmarked graves. Now, it's our job an' responsibility to stop this bastard from killin' again.'
The unmarked graves get to him, every time. Kill someone, and chuck them into the ground where no one can find them. He's pretty sure there's a special kind of hell for bastards who do that.
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But how much worse will it be if she agrees, and proves horribly that she's just not tough enough for this job?
"Please... don't ask me."
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He's seen this before. Impossible not to, when you've been a copper as long as him. Some of them will lose confidence, doubt their abilites. He's always been of the opinion that you give them the opportunity to get it back, and let them step up, or not.
He always hopes they step up. But it doesn't always happen.
Reply
Now, she knows she can't say no, and she's terrified of saying yes, but there really isn't anything for it, is there? The idea that there's someone out there, killing young women who's only evident 'crime' was to have a failed marriage, will haunt her forever if she doesn't help catch him.
The terror of going back in, when she is almost certain just this very once the Guv is dead wrong about her abilities, chokes her. Tears come without her wanting them, defying all attempts to force them back down.
"And then no more?" She asks, begs, her gaze the wide-eyed stare of a horse being forced over too high a fence.
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'An' then no more. I give you me word.'
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Why did you join the police force, Sharon?
To make a difference.
The Guv seems to think she can do it. And she knows he wouldn't just wind her up, not about the job. At least, she doesn't think so.
Sounds stupid, doesn't it?
She hopes he wouldn't.
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