tres mal
True, tis a beautimous day outside but unfortunately i am very distressed. Empty. Failed. and yes, i do tend to overexxagerate things, but i can't help that i get upset when i don't achieve my goals. The day did not start off in too dismay a manner but once i was aboard the schoolship of clichés and monotony, i felt my heart begin to sink. and yes, i have been there all week in a surprisingly uplifted mood, but that is due to my recent trip up to the governor's school |*:)* it does bring me happiness|
...and now back to my darker note.
the day began with HSAP testing. again. the first two days were not horrendous...they weren't fun but at least it was english. today...the tables turned...andi endured...the math. ok it wasn't very hard...BUT it was soooooo long...i became very stressed with problem after problem after problem after problem after problem...see doesn't that get frustrating? well, you get my drift.
So then right after that, im just in luck! Geometry! my favorite damn class of the day...SIKE TIMES 10. and after taking crazy notes that make as much sense to me as an ancient language, i receive...My Test. 71. im sorry, but that is bad. especially when im used to making good grades. a 71 is not a little upsetting...it is positively devastating. alright, maybe im overacting. ill give you that.
but! then i went to photography (which is the 4th and last [thank god!] class of the day) and yes i knew i had made a couple not so good grades. The Reason? well, in my defense, the {insane} teacher gives retarted quizes that have no relevance to actually taking better pictures...its a bunch of hodgepodge about how silver grains on the film affect the image and an overexposure means that the film received too much light so the negative appears dark and the picture in return is too bright...i mean ok! i know that if there is too much light in the picture that its going to be too freaking light! well...because of these horrendous quizzes and a few day late items, i now have a 78. for a grade. from a 95. joyous. i do have two more weeks left in this quarter since this was only a progress report so im just gonna work really hard. realllly hard. its just that i never imagined that i would have a 78 in that class. i mean i thought i might have like a mid to low B or possibly a low A as a result of a few lower grades. but when other people in that class turn in work much later than me and have much lower quiz grades and yet they manage to get a 86 or 84 or 88 or 90. yeh...i get a little upset.
and you know when you're in a bad mood, it makes everything else seem ten times worse? so i get outside and its fucking blazing hellfire out there. i thought i was going to severely pass out due in part to the fact i hadn't eaten all day (we have no good food, by the way) and then i get home and go to brush my hair and accidentally hit myself in the head with the fucking brush! hard! it hurt! and it made me vurry vurry angry. so now i am writing this in an attempt to get all this irritation and dissatisfaction out of my system. a cleansing process. to soothe. so we hope.
i'll be back...(maybe even in an optimistic mood! bleh)
-hamilton-