Everything you wanted to know about having open-heart surgery...
...but were afraid to ask.
The medical community has invented a great way to defer the dread of the violence impending. (The sawing of the sternum and the spreading of the ribs.) The trick is they make you wait too long. My whole mindset was I wished I'd have had the damn thing over with a month ago. The strongest dread of the unspeakably violent act is reserved for the 11th hour, as my body was being shaved bald neck to toe(Go ahead, giggle.), the vallium cocktail is about to lead to a spinal epidural, about to lead to a morphine drip, while the fentanyl took effect and a machine took over my breathing. Before dread was fully ripe, my shaved body was strapped down and my mindset was best described as random. I was still lucid, but not for long, as I was rolled into the operating room. I got high fives from all of the surgeons' nurses, my surgeon's PA, the head nurse for surgery and several techs. I told them I wanted to see the sternum saw, one tech said I was "sick enough in the head to work with us". Lights out at 9:00 AM. At 2:15 I was parked in recovery. Due to the rock star grade drugs, I woke up several times in relative comfort. First time panicked about mu breathing tube, which felt like it was impeding my breathing. Next time to bawl and tell Sweet Pea how sorry I was I let myself go. Several times to see a few visitors as they shuffled through my recovery area (most only saw me sleeping). Then to watch most of the World Series game 5 which my beloved Cardinals won. To be continued...
The medical community has invented a great way to defer the dread of the violence impending. (The sawing of the sternum and the spreading of the ribs.) The trick is they make you wait too long. My whole mindset was I wished I'd have had the damn thing over with a month ago. The strongest dread of the unspeakably violent act is reserved for the 11th hour, as my body was being shaved bald neck to toe(Go ahead, giggle.), the vallium cocktail is about to lead to a spinal epidural, about to lead to a morphine drip, while the fentanyl took effect and a machine took over my breathing. Before dread was fully ripe, my shaved body was strapped down and my mindset was best described as random. I was still lucid, but not for long, as I was rolled into the operating room. I got high fives from all of the surgeons' nurses, my surgeon's PA, the head nurse for surgery and several techs. I told them I wanted to see the sternum saw, one tech said I was "sick enough in the head to work with us". Lights out at 9:00 AM. At 2:15 I was parked in recovery. Due to the rock star grade drugs, I woke up several times in relative comfort. First time panicked about mu breathing tube, which felt like it was impeding my breathing. Next time to bawl and tell Sweet Pea how sorry I was I let myself go. Several times to see a few visitors as they shuffled through my recovery area (most only saw me sleeping). Then to watch most of the World Series game 5 which my beloved Cardinals won. To be continued...