I'm just ready for 08 to be done
I want to start new. Man haven't I said that a lot. I just really want to change. I can feel it coming. I am excited for 09' in hopes I figure out where my life if leading me. It's time to move on in every aspect. Time to really grow up. I'm excited, but I'm also scared. I have this extreme Peter-Pan complex. I really don't want to grow up, but I find it completely necessary. I'm not becoming anything that I wanted, and people are continuing to tell me I am becoming my mother. I have to work on this or I will never, and I repeat ever, be happy.
I figure the only things holding me back is myself and love. Yes, I love Trever, always have and always will. But, he's having a baby. He's fucked me over beyond belief, I truly don't trust him. But he is my best friend. And I want to be in his life as a support unit, nothing more. It's teaching me patience and teaching me lessons to try to be his friend. I don't know if it will really work out, I'm just seeing what happens basically. But, I realized today at his family's Christmas, that this is my second family. They all mean a lot to me and I'm thankful we dated, because it gave me a chance, a shot at a family setting. I appreciate that a lot.
I got one present today for Christmas. Woo. It was from Trever, Kanye West's new CD. Which is DAMN good. I think he is trying to show himself in a new light. It truly shows what a great producer he is. I'm impressed in that aspect. Although he doesn't rap much and it's all with that voice shit, which is getting old. But for some reason he definitely did the CD well. There's even an 80's sounding song. He's proving himself.
Well. I guess I'll update soon.
Merry Christmas all.
I figure the only things holding me back is myself and love. Yes, I love Trever, always have and always will. But, he's having a baby. He's fucked me over beyond belief, I truly don't trust him. But he is my best friend. And I want to be in his life as a support unit, nothing more. It's teaching me patience and teaching me lessons to try to be his friend. I don't know if it will really work out, I'm just seeing what happens basically. But, I realized today at his family's Christmas, that this is my second family. They all mean a lot to me and I'm thankful we dated, because it gave me a chance, a shot at a family setting. I appreciate that a lot.
I got one present today for Christmas. Woo. It was from Trever, Kanye West's new CD. Which is DAMN good. I think he is trying to show himself in a new light. It truly shows what a great producer he is. I'm impressed in that aspect. Although he doesn't rap much and it's all with that voice shit, which is getting old. But for some reason he definitely did the CD well. There's even an 80's sounding song. He's proving himself.
Well. I guess I'll update soon.
Merry Christmas all.