Good bye livejournal
I started a tumblr blog. It's easier to use and way more friendly than LJ
I am not sure how much longer I'll be using LJ I keep promising myself I will update and never do. Only one person I know (Juan) reads this regularly. And to top it off... this journal started when I was in love with my ex wife. It spanned our dating years, engagement, marriage and eventually... breakup. It truly is a blog about and for her, it never was about me so much I think. Even the last year and a half where I blogged about trying to heal.
So now with the healing done,I think it's time to move on. I can feel the weight and burden of this has been gone for months now and I know that if I keep updating this blog (LJ), it's just a reminder of why I started it in the first place, and as much as that was a huge part of my life, that life no longer exists.
So this is it doll, goodbye and sayonora. I am closing the book on this. I don't regret what we had, but I'm glad to see you moved on, and after months of pondering, loneliness, wandering the earth, dead end relationships, music and life, I can say that it has been a hell of a ride, and that I have been focusing on making it to the other side so much I didn't even realize when I got here.
A piece of me will always remember you, a piece of me will never forget. But it will also never forget that you just weren't happy with me and no matter what I did to fix it, you still left. I have come to terms with that. I don't hate you, I don't hate myself. It is what it is. You wanted the white picket fence and simple life with me, and I wanted stages and adventures with you. We were doomed from the start.
It wasn't all bad. Good things came out of it. I started some of my coolest bands with you around. I started the loveletter because I wanted to woo you. I lost weight (and gained it) moved up the coporate ladder, and stopped my hooligan ways when I was with you. I like to think that surely at some point, there was some good in some of that. And of course the best thing for me was meeting your daughter and falling in love with my inner child all over again.
I have travelled the globe, written two novels, short stories, songs, and accomplished so much. I did it because I wanted to prove to myself that I was viable, and that people were wrong about me. I wanted your daughter to be proud of me. I hope that she is, and I will never stop writing to her or thinking about her. I will always be the only father figure she has in her life. I will watch her walk the stage in graduation, I will dance with her at her wedding.
I used to joke that at some point, I was going to send you a thank you letter. That was tacky to say. I realize that. There is no animosity toward you. God doesn't make mistakes, and there was a reason he put a girl like you and an ogre like me together even if it was for a short time. I like to think he was teaching me something. That might be a little self absorbed, but there's got to be a reason.
This new life I am living is exciting. It never stops. It breathes. I accept it as much as I can. I know sooner or later, I will meet someone again who will sweep me off my feet. She will be what I've been looking for, and because of the life lessons I've learned from this relationship, I will be the perfect man for her. Until then, I will take every opportunity for adventure, every new experience. I hope that life awards you the magic and happiness you didn't find.
See ya A Chord. You take care.
If anyone still reads this LJ and wants to keep following my new optimistic blog... you can find it at...
http://timothydanger.tumblr.com/
I am not sure how much longer I'll be using LJ I keep promising myself I will update and never do. Only one person I know (Juan) reads this regularly. And to top it off... this journal started when I was in love with my ex wife. It spanned our dating years, engagement, marriage and eventually... breakup. It truly is a blog about and for her, it never was about me so much I think. Even the last year and a half where I blogged about trying to heal.
So now with the healing done,I think it's time to move on. I can feel the weight and burden of this has been gone for months now and I know that if I keep updating this blog (LJ), it's just a reminder of why I started it in the first place, and as much as that was a huge part of my life, that life no longer exists.
So this is it doll, goodbye and sayonora. I am closing the book on this. I don't regret what we had, but I'm glad to see you moved on, and after months of pondering, loneliness, wandering the earth, dead end relationships, music and life, I can say that it has been a hell of a ride, and that I have been focusing on making it to the other side so much I didn't even realize when I got here.
A piece of me will always remember you, a piece of me will never forget. But it will also never forget that you just weren't happy with me and no matter what I did to fix it, you still left. I have come to terms with that. I don't hate you, I don't hate myself. It is what it is. You wanted the white picket fence and simple life with me, and I wanted stages and adventures with you. We were doomed from the start.
It wasn't all bad. Good things came out of it. I started some of my coolest bands with you around. I started the loveletter because I wanted to woo you. I lost weight (and gained it) moved up the coporate ladder, and stopped my hooligan ways when I was with you. I like to think that surely at some point, there was some good in some of that. And of course the best thing for me was meeting your daughter and falling in love with my inner child all over again.
I have travelled the globe, written two novels, short stories, songs, and accomplished so much. I did it because I wanted to prove to myself that I was viable, and that people were wrong about me. I wanted your daughter to be proud of me. I hope that she is, and I will never stop writing to her or thinking about her. I will always be the only father figure she has in her life. I will watch her walk the stage in graduation, I will dance with her at her wedding.
I used to joke that at some point, I was going to send you a thank you letter. That was tacky to say. I realize that. There is no animosity toward you. God doesn't make mistakes, and there was a reason he put a girl like you and an ogre like me together even if it was for a short time. I like to think he was teaching me something. That might be a little self absorbed, but there's got to be a reason.
This new life I am living is exciting. It never stops. It breathes. I accept it as much as I can. I know sooner or later, I will meet someone again who will sweep me off my feet. She will be what I've been looking for, and because of the life lessons I've learned from this relationship, I will be the perfect man for her. Until then, I will take every opportunity for adventure, every new experience. I hope that life awards you the magic and happiness you didn't find.
See ya A Chord. You take care.
If anyone still reads this LJ and wants to keep following my new optimistic blog... you can find it at...
http://timothydanger.tumblr.com/