tired
couldnt sleep at all last night. so didnt. tish knew better than to protest, thank god for her. i watched movies instead. sucks. im so tired now but dont feel like bed at all. maybe later. shopped some on amazon, browsed a few stores for s's gift but havent decided yet. nothing strikes me as extraordinary. she deserves extraordinary. got thai curries on my mind at not yet 7am in the morning. can this be normal? maybe im pregnant. heh. wouldnt that be fun? the way things are going, i'd prolly just die.
italian dude wrote with some sort of apology.
or maybe it really isnt one and im misreading his english again. whatever. hes with that chica, whoever she is, so what difference does it make. and even if he were not it'd be the same, no difference. its not even about that, never really was. not from my side at least - don't forget that. ive just really been feeling that i need to hang on to at least a few people from pre-quad days.
if i let go of all, am i even still here?
do i even exist?
pain says i do. great. they think i have and feel no pain. but i do. they know so little about me nowadays.
italian dude wrote with some sort of apology.
or maybe it really isnt one and im misreading his english again. whatever. hes with that chica, whoever she is, so what difference does it make. and even if he were not it'd be the same, no difference. its not even about that, never really was. not from my side at least - don't forget that. ive just really been feeling that i need to hang on to at least a few people from pre-quad days.
if i let go of all, am i even still here?
do i even exist?
pain says i do. great. they think i have and feel no pain. but i do. they know so little about me nowadays.