This Heart is on Fire
I'm gonna try and keep this short but no promises. Today has been pretty rough on me. For the most part due to my shitty grade in English(the fucking language i speak). Lots of people I'm sure by now just think that I'm just another slacker that enjoys getting by by the skin of their feet, but I don't enjoy it at all. I'm not entirely incapable of doing the work; I'm just yet to find a way that I can do it. I hate taking my medicine, but it seems like it's doing me a lot of good. This morning I developed a tic because I woke up late and missed breakfast but still took my adderall, and I was physically unable to stop moving my leg: it was almost like a sneeze, I just couldn't not do it. This, in addition to my constant trembling during and after school, may not be to noticable or embarrassing, but still makes me quite self concious. Another issue is my insomnia. I don't think this is related to the medicine because this has gone on for quite a while now, in fact I think I remember having to see the doctor after my parents got divorced because my dad was concerned about my sleeping habits. I was nine at the time. I don't remember the last time I got more than 30 hours of sleep in a week, but it's been a while. Tomorrow I'm going to see my therapist and try and figure out what I'm supposed to do. My mom wants my dosage lowered, my doctor thinks it should be raised, and my mind is being tugged on like a rope. I know I said I was going to try and keep this short, but I fucked--My bad.