(no subject)
"You do that a lot, you tell other people what your problems are but never tell the problem to who the problem is" [or something like that].
Whoa, she's right.
Again. SurpriseSurprise.
But there's points where you have to and need to keep things to yourself. Not because your shy. Not because you're to much of a coward to admit the truth. But because you know admitting that truth would do more harm than good, ultimately. And the feeling of rejection would be there so why torture yourself? We lie to ourselves, and we like it. We like holding onto our feelings because we know as long as we hold onto them they're not being forced to go anywhere. You don't have to let it go. And maybe not letting it go is more torture in itself. But at least you can still feel, something.
I really wish people didn't judge me so much.
Even if i probably deserve to be.
I'm running from so much. I'm scared.
Scared of Tim. Scared of love. Scared of getting my heart seriously broken.
Or worse..breaking his heart again.
I'm scared of friendships, i'm scared of trust and trusting my friends.
But on the opposite side of things i feel so much better then i ever have.
i feel kind of numb.
i'm not very responsive and kind of just here.
idk.
Whoa, she's right.
Again. SurpriseSurprise.
But there's points where you have to and need to keep things to yourself. Not because your shy. Not because you're to much of a coward to admit the truth. But because you know admitting that truth would do more harm than good, ultimately. And the feeling of rejection would be there so why torture yourself? We lie to ourselves, and we like it. We like holding onto our feelings because we know as long as we hold onto them they're not being forced to go anywhere. You don't have to let it go. And maybe not letting it go is more torture in itself. But at least you can still feel, something.
I really wish people didn't judge me so much.
Even if i probably deserve to be.
I'm running from so much. I'm scared.
Scared of Tim. Scared of love. Scared of getting my heart seriously broken.
Or worse..breaking his heart again.
I'm scared of friendships, i'm scared of trust and trusting my friends.
But on the opposite side of things i feel so much better then i ever have.
i feel kind of numb.
i'm not very responsive and kind of just here.
idk.