Room 518; Friday Evening [ 07/13 ].

[thelobsterking]

Stannis Baratheon was in a stormy mood, brought on by the culmination of at least two weeks in this truly absurd, baffling, and frustrating place. This mood had inspired him to take to pacing, moving back and forth across his bedroom with a brooding determination to practically wear the floor down. And there was grinding, so much grinding, of his

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[seeshowyoudie]

Miriam bounced into the room after a trip up to the roof to smoke. "Hey, roomie," she said cheerfully. "How's it hanging?"

[thelobsterking]

And therein came the biggest grind of all.

"Miriam," he greeted her back though teeth mostly still clenched. "How is what hanging?" He gave a slight glance over to the curtains in the window, which seemed fine, and the Baratheon stag banner also over his bed, which was as undisturbed as if it were a banner flying on a windless day.

[seeshowyoudie]

And she loved you too, Stannis!

"The angle of the dangle?" Miriam snickered. "Dude, it means how's it going? What's up?"

[thelobsterking]

Would he ever come to comprehend the strange babblings that spewed forth from this spiteful woman's mouth? Stannis shook his head, casting his eyes upward. "The roof is up," he said plainly, "and beyond that the sky, though I don't see what that has to do with anything. I suppose you have run out of things to keep yourself occupied for the time being. Oh, well. The peace and quiet was nice while it lasted."

[seeshowyoudie]

Miriam pursed her lips and made a kissing noise at Stannis. "You're such a sweet talker," she said, dropping herself on her bed and folding her arms behind her head. "You're going to be such a hit with the ladies. Or the boys, if that's how you roll."

[thelobsterking]

Stannis pointedly, stubbornly, made a point of crossing to the room to stand glowering out the window with his back to her. He didn't feel it was necessary to grace her lewd comments with a response, and might have tried to stand at that window all evening without a single word if he could.

But his anxiety over his situation was still stewing inside of him, feeling as though it was boiling his insides, and he was too restless. It was either talk to Miriam or continue his rampant pacing. He stiffened, his spine like an iron rod as he stared out into the darkness of the evening and asked, "Have you written home since your arrival here?"

He figured even Miriam's thoughts could be helpful, even if only as a guide of how not to go about things.

[seeshowyoudie]

"Nope," Miriam said, stretching up her arms to peel off her gloves. She'd be safe enough in the room without them, she figured. Stannis wasn't exactly going to get handsy. "Nobody to write home to. Having trouble finding the right words?"

Yeah, she saw the empty paper on his desk.

[thelobsterking]

"...Yes," Stannis admitted after a very long time. "I am beginning to think it would be best to inform them that all is well, please send news of home, but that would be a lie. And if I were to let them know that I find a good deal of this world deplorable, I would fear it would be too complaining. Then there's this whole Lannister business. I thought he was a fraud at first, in which case I was bound to write a letter about it home, but now I am starting to wonder if it is not just another example of the absurd magic of this realm..."

Stannis would soon find out, perhaps, who made the better sounding board for his problems: Miriam Black, or a blank wall.

[seeshowyoudie]

Miriam flipped over onto her stomach. "Nothing wrong with a little white lie here and there," she said. "Truth does more harm than good sometimes." She got a faraway look for a moment as the memory of a red mylar balloon flitted through her thoughts, but she quickly chased that away.

"Unless you want them thinking you're nuts" - which he was - "and marching on in here to lock you up in the loony bin, tell them what they want to hear."

[thelobsterking]

"A man is only as good as his word," Stannis said, "and a man who only tells you what you want to hear is craven and loathsome..."

He nodded stiffly to his reflection in the window and turned toward the desk. He picked up a quill as soon as his bottom was in the chair. "It is decided, then. I shall tell them true and tell them firm, and they will do with it as they will, but at least I will know I have been honest."

How did he know he would ask Miriam's thoughts and wind up doing the exact opposite?

[seeshowyoudie]

Because you were dumb, Stannis, that's why.

"Oh, someone has got to do something about that stick up your ass," Miriam said, rolling her eyes. "Those splinters really must hurt."

[thelobsterking]

And while it was true that the stick of righteousness was jammed up there pretty good and probably had more splinters than anything, Stannis was certainly not going to grace that allegory with a response, unless you counted the steady and determined scratching of his pen, interrupted only by the pauses necessary for more ink.

The letter would likely involve quite an impressive paragraph regarding the state of his room and board, too.