(no subject)
here's an odd story.
there once was a girl. she had had her heart broken badly, and was deeply hurt. she promised never to love again, never to let anybody else in that deeply. then she met a boy. he was a nice boy. an interesting boy. a cute boy. and she thought about it. but she swore that she would not allow herself to fall in love with him, because he would only end up hurting her too, just like the last boy.
but then she thought about it again. she realized that this wasn't fair. that this new boy was not the old boy, and that it was not fair to compare the two, or even think that because one hurt her the other would too. so she started to open up, slowly, but then more and more quickly.
then she woke up one morning to the realization that she had let him into her heart. that she loved him. that she had fallen for him. and that, miracle of miracles, he loved her too.
and then, he hurt her.
maybe he got scared. maybe she pushed him away and he was only protecting himself. maybe he really was afraid of commitment. maybe things had gotten way too serious way too fast. maybe both of them were just terrified once they realized what had happened.
so she ran away. he ran away. they both hid in their secret worlds, but neither of them could stay away. they found that they missed one another, and that they had to see one another. so they gave it another try.
and then, she hurt him.
maybe he got scared. maybe she pushed him away and he was only protecting himself. maybe he really was afraid of commitment. maybe things had gotten way too serious way too fast. maybe both of them were just terrified once they realized what had happened.
so they tried something different. they tried being friends and just allowing things to happen without worrying about the titles involved. after all, that was what seemed to cause the fear in both of them. so they tried it.
and it went really well for a while. she found she could be around him without feeling the need to open up completely. her heart was protected once again, and she was getting used to the feeling of allowing him in without really allowing him full access. it was nice.
but then, one night, things changed. he professed his love for her once more. she was shocked, terrified, and had no idea how to respond. she said she would be lying if she said she didn't love him too. but that was not the whole truth. she did really love him, but not as she had before. she loved the fact that she didn't have to tell him things she didn't want to. that she wasn't accountable to him. that she was independent and in control. that she could be whoever she wanted with him and that it didn't matter. she let it go, thinking it wouldn't happen again. but it did. this time she didn't say anything but acted as if she hadn't heard him.
the strange thing is that she was actually fine with and had rather quickly grown accustomed to their arrangement. until he said those three words. the ones she equally never thought she would hear again and the ones that she thought she longed to hear leave his lips once more, but as it turns out were poisoning her.
and now she doesn't know what she wants. she can't seem to let go. she is stuck in the middle of deeply caring and not wanting to have anything to do with this boy. and while she can't seem to make up her mind, there he is, taunting her. his very presence sending butterflies into her stomach and torturous turns in her heart.
so she sits. and she thinks. and she waits. and she wonders.
but only time will tell where this story will go. in the mean time, she realizes that it is truly an odd story.
there once was a girl. she had had her heart broken badly, and was deeply hurt. she promised never to love again, never to let anybody else in that deeply. then she met a boy. he was a nice boy. an interesting boy. a cute boy. and she thought about it. but she swore that she would not allow herself to fall in love with him, because he would only end up hurting her too, just like the last boy.
but then she thought about it again. she realized that this wasn't fair. that this new boy was not the old boy, and that it was not fair to compare the two, or even think that because one hurt her the other would too. so she started to open up, slowly, but then more and more quickly.
then she woke up one morning to the realization that she had let him into her heart. that she loved him. that she had fallen for him. and that, miracle of miracles, he loved her too.
and then, he hurt her.
maybe he got scared. maybe she pushed him away and he was only protecting himself. maybe he really was afraid of commitment. maybe things had gotten way too serious way too fast. maybe both of them were just terrified once they realized what had happened.
so she ran away. he ran away. they both hid in their secret worlds, but neither of them could stay away. they found that they missed one another, and that they had to see one another. so they gave it another try.
and then, she hurt him.
maybe he got scared. maybe she pushed him away and he was only protecting himself. maybe he really was afraid of commitment. maybe things had gotten way too serious way too fast. maybe both of them were just terrified once they realized what had happened.
so they tried something different. they tried being friends and just allowing things to happen without worrying about the titles involved. after all, that was what seemed to cause the fear in both of them. so they tried it.
and it went really well for a while. she found she could be around him without feeling the need to open up completely. her heart was protected once again, and she was getting used to the feeling of allowing him in without really allowing him full access. it was nice.
but then, one night, things changed. he professed his love for her once more. she was shocked, terrified, and had no idea how to respond. she said she would be lying if she said she didn't love him too. but that was not the whole truth. she did really love him, but not as she had before. she loved the fact that she didn't have to tell him things she didn't want to. that she wasn't accountable to him. that she was independent and in control. that she could be whoever she wanted with him and that it didn't matter. she let it go, thinking it wouldn't happen again. but it did. this time she didn't say anything but acted as if she hadn't heard him.
the strange thing is that she was actually fine with and had rather quickly grown accustomed to their arrangement. until he said those three words. the ones she equally never thought she would hear again and the ones that she thought she longed to hear leave his lips once more, but as it turns out were poisoning her.
and now she doesn't know what she wants. she can't seem to let go. she is stuck in the middle of deeply caring and not wanting to have anything to do with this boy. and while she can't seem to make up her mind, there he is, taunting her. his very presence sending butterflies into her stomach and torturous turns in her heart.
so she sits. and she thinks. and she waits. and she wonders.
but only time will tell where this story will go. in the mean time, she realizes that it is truly an odd story.