Rewatch: 9x13 Improbable
Production number: 9x14
This is the worst episode ever. I really don’t think I’m exaggerating.
Logline: Burt Reynolds.
The Good (or at least The Okay): Scully’s lecture on Unified Theory: “I presume you mean the so-called Unified Theory, what physicists often refer to as the Theory of Everything. An equation so simple they say that it might be printed on a T-shirt. It's a holy grail in the world of science. Potentially the most important question that mankind has ever asked. But that such a complex calculation is even possible is a subject of enormous controversy. Is that what you mean?” To which Moronica replies, “Uh…potentially,” like the dopey dope she is. Oh, you guys, it's not only tragic that Mulder's gone because he can't raise his kid and have hot sex with Scully, it's also tragic because she no longer has anyone smart to talk to! MULDER, COME BACK AND TALK NERDY TO ME.
Then Moronica tells Scully that she likes to use numerology as an icebreaker at parties. If Scully ever went to parties, she would hate that. Which makes me happy.
The Bad, The Terribly Bad, and The Worse: I cannot believe Burt Reynolds is in this episode. I cannot believe it.
The music is supposed to be cutesy, but cutesy fills me with rage. I don’t want cute at this point in the season. I’m sorry, but lighthearted does not work for me when I know Mulder is on the run and in danger.
I have a really, really low tolerance for fancy camera work that doesn’t serve a purpose. This episode is riddled with it.
I hate how all of the street scenes are so obviously shot on the backlot. This is a problem throughout these two seasons, but it’s especially obvious here. For some reason I don’t notice it as much in 6 and 7, but I really appreciate the way they shot on location in Vancouver. Related to that, why does CC seem to enjoy streamlined, anachronistic settings and props so much? I think he would probably really like "Pushing Daisies."
OH MY GOD. Burt Reynolds LIP SYNCHING while a bunch of people do things to the beat of the music: rhythmic kissing, window cleaning, shoe shining, etc. His card trick is definitely less exciting than the cap dance at the ballgame. Then again, the cap dance is very exciting, so few things can compete. (I mean that. There's nothing more fun than shouting "TWO TWO TWO!" with an entire stadium and then cheering when the hat flips up and reveals the baseball.)
Split screens, get out of my life. And then, and THEN, after Doggett and Reyes hang up, Doggett’s square slides across the screen and swipes to the next shot.
After Reyes makes all of these connections, she walks into the FBI and is greeted by a roomful of people CLAPPING. At first, I thought she was having some kind of weird daydream, but no. It’s for real. The AD we’ve never seen before asks Reyes to give them some more insight and then she starts babbling about numerology, ending with the fact that the killer is working off “numerical vibrational disharmonies.” I’m having those right now.
This episode wants SO BADLY to be “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose." As follows:
-“A killer kills for a reason,” the AD says after the numerologist is killed. Clyde Bruckman has this conversation with the killer: “So, tell me, please, why have I done them?”/“Don’t you understand yet, son? Don’t you get it? You do the things you do because you’re a homicidal maniac.”
-In a “woman’s intuition” moment, Scully uses the numerologist's 666 bang curls and the tape recorder’s 666 reading to come up with the fact that the ring they’re looking for doesn’t say “000,” but rather is a partial print of “666.”
-The AD’s “generic serial killer” profile desperately wants to be this: “Look, all I know is that so far, Yappi has provided more solid, concrete leads on this case than you have. Now, if you don't mind, I have to get an A.P.B. out on a white male, age seventeen to thirty-four, with or without a beard, maybe a tattoo... who's impotent. Let's go.”
-Reyes comes up with a theory that the killer is killing in these threes: blonde, brunette, redhead. Near the end, the tarot card reader tells the killer: “You don't know why you do the things that you do. But your confusion is soon to come to an abrupt end with the arrival of a woman. A blonde or a brunette. Maybe a redhead.”
-The AD, discussing coincidences, asks if Doggett has ever noticed that all babies look like Winston Churchill, which feels like an echo of “fat little white Nazi stormtroopers” and the idea of seeing what you want to see because of suggestion.
-Moronica: “So the killer’s not in control of his actions. The numbers are.” Clyde Bruckman: “The killer... he doesn't feel like he's in control of his own life. I mean, like... who is, am I right? But this guy... he truly believes it. He sees himself as some kind of a... a puppet.”
-Scully gives in to the stupid lure of numerology and asks Reyes what her number is, in a less serious echo of asking Bruckman how she dies.
Can I say I really hate how stylized it is again? Scully’s autopsy equipment is lined up like someone used a ruler.
It’s midnight…does Maggie have the baby?
Scully and Reyes are idiots and get stuck in a parking garage. My old underground parking garage had a door in the middle of the gate, and you could open it from the inside and walk out. Also, they don’t ask fucking Burt if he has a garage door opener. Then they play checkers with him. I am hating both of them SO MUCH. Scully at least tries to shoot the lock of the door, but she doesn’t succeed. I think there’s no way she doesn’t get it open that way. I'm sorry, the woman who opened a bullet in an attempt to start a fire wouldn't give up this easily on ideas for escape.
Why do I hate them so much in this case for getting trapped in the garage, but I don’t think Mulder and Scully are stupid in “Quagmire” for getting stuck on the island?
Oh my GOD, Burt Reynolds is cha-chaing while they play checkers. He dances around in a circle and shakes his ass at the camera.
Moronica figures out that the next victims will be a redhead and a brunette. “IF ONLY,” I write in my notes.
Scully has lost her damn mind. Maybe there are gasoline fumes down there. She tells Burt to keep his hands up, he asks why, and she petulantly says, “I don’t know.” Oh, Scully, what has happened to you?
Okay, if Burt Reynolds is God, I’m an atheist.
Oh, hooray, there’s manly Doggett here to save the dopey girls who couldn’t even stumble their way out of a parking garage.
This episode just keeps on coming. There’s a huge, like, Italian musical dancing scene that I fast forward through, and then we pull out and out and see Burt Reynolds’ stupid grinning face in the grid of the city.
Did you think we were done? No! Because Chris Carter isn't the "Executive Producer," he's the "Produttore Esecutivo."
Random: The numerologist is played by Ellen Greene, Aunt Vivian on “Pushing Daisies.”
This is the worst episode ever. I really don’t think I’m exaggerating.
Logline: Burt Reynolds.
The Good (or at least The Okay): Scully’s lecture on Unified Theory: “I presume you mean the so-called Unified Theory, what physicists often refer to as the Theory of Everything. An equation so simple they say that it might be printed on a T-shirt. It's a holy grail in the world of science. Potentially the most important question that mankind has ever asked. But that such a complex calculation is even possible is a subject of enormous controversy. Is that what you mean?” To which Moronica replies, “Uh…potentially,” like the dopey dope she is. Oh, you guys, it's not only tragic that Mulder's gone because he can't raise his kid and have hot sex with Scully, it's also tragic because she no longer has anyone smart to talk to! MULDER, COME BACK AND TALK NERDY TO ME.
Then Moronica tells Scully that she likes to use numerology as an icebreaker at parties. If Scully ever went to parties, she would hate that. Which makes me happy.
The Bad, The Terribly Bad, and The Worse: I cannot believe Burt Reynolds is in this episode. I cannot believe it.
The music is supposed to be cutesy, but cutesy fills me with rage. I don’t want cute at this point in the season. I’m sorry, but lighthearted does not work for me when I know Mulder is on the run and in danger.
I have a really, really low tolerance for fancy camera work that doesn’t serve a purpose. This episode is riddled with it.
I hate how all of the street scenes are so obviously shot on the backlot. This is a problem throughout these two seasons, but it’s especially obvious here. For some reason I don’t notice it as much in 6 and 7, but I really appreciate the way they shot on location in Vancouver. Related to that, why does CC seem to enjoy streamlined, anachronistic settings and props so much? I think he would probably really like "Pushing Daisies."
OH MY GOD. Burt Reynolds LIP SYNCHING while a bunch of people do things to the beat of the music: rhythmic kissing, window cleaning, shoe shining, etc. His card trick is definitely less exciting than the cap dance at the ballgame. Then again, the cap dance is very exciting, so few things can compete. (I mean that. There's nothing more fun than shouting "TWO TWO TWO!" with an entire stadium and then cheering when the hat flips up and reveals the baseball.)
Split screens, get out of my life. And then, and THEN, after Doggett and Reyes hang up, Doggett’s square slides across the screen and swipes to the next shot.
After Reyes makes all of these connections, she walks into the FBI and is greeted by a roomful of people CLAPPING. At first, I thought she was having some kind of weird daydream, but no. It’s for real. The AD we’ve never seen before asks Reyes to give them some more insight and then she starts babbling about numerology, ending with the fact that the killer is working off “numerical vibrational disharmonies.” I’m having those right now.
This episode wants SO BADLY to be “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose." As follows:
-“A killer kills for a reason,” the AD says after the numerologist is killed. Clyde Bruckman has this conversation with the killer: “So, tell me, please, why have I done them?”/“Don’t you understand yet, son? Don’t you get it? You do the things you do because you’re a homicidal maniac.”
-In a “woman’s intuition” moment, Scully uses the numerologist's 666 bang curls and the tape recorder’s 666 reading to come up with the fact that the ring they’re looking for doesn’t say “000,” but rather is a partial print of “666.”
-The AD’s “generic serial killer” profile desperately wants to be this: “Look, all I know is that so far, Yappi has provided more solid, concrete leads on this case than you have. Now, if you don't mind, I have to get an A.P.B. out on a white male, age seventeen to thirty-four, with or without a beard, maybe a tattoo... who's impotent. Let's go.”
-Reyes comes up with a theory that the killer is killing in these threes: blonde, brunette, redhead. Near the end, the tarot card reader tells the killer: “You don't know why you do the things that you do. But your confusion is soon to come to an abrupt end with the arrival of a woman. A blonde or a brunette. Maybe a redhead.”
-The AD, discussing coincidences, asks if Doggett has ever noticed that all babies look like Winston Churchill, which feels like an echo of “fat little white Nazi stormtroopers” and the idea of seeing what you want to see because of suggestion.
-Moronica: “So the killer’s not in control of his actions. The numbers are.” Clyde Bruckman: “The killer... he doesn't feel like he's in control of his own life. I mean, like... who is, am I right? But this guy... he truly believes it. He sees himself as some kind of a... a puppet.”
-Scully gives in to the stupid lure of numerology and asks Reyes what her number is, in a less serious echo of asking Bruckman how she dies.
Can I say I really hate how stylized it is again? Scully’s autopsy equipment is lined up like someone used a ruler.
It’s midnight…does Maggie have the baby?
Scully and Reyes are idiots and get stuck in a parking garage. My old underground parking garage had a door in the middle of the gate, and you could open it from the inside and walk out. Also, they don’t ask fucking Burt if he has a garage door opener. Then they play checkers with him. I am hating both of them SO MUCH. Scully at least tries to shoot the lock of the door, but she doesn’t succeed. I think there’s no way she doesn’t get it open that way. I'm sorry, the woman who opened a bullet in an attempt to start a fire wouldn't give up this easily on ideas for escape.
Why do I hate them so much in this case for getting trapped in the garage, but I don’t think Mulder and Scully are stupid in “Quagmire” for getting stuck on the island?
Oh my GOD, Burt Reynolds is cha-chaing while they play checkers. He dances around in a circle and shakes his ass at the camera.
Moronica figures out that the next victims will be a redhead and a brunette. “IF ONLY,” I write in my notes.
Scully has lost her damn mind. Maybe there are gasoline fumes down there. She tells Burt to keep his hands up, he asks why, and she petulantly says, “I don’t know.” Oh, Scully, what has happened to you?
Okay, if Burt Reynolds is God, I’m an atheist.
Oh, hooray, there’s manly Doggett here to save the dopey girls who couldn’t even stumble their way out of a parking garage.
This episode just keeps on coming. There’s a huge, like, Italian musical dancing scene that I fast forward through, and then we pull out and out and see Burt Reynolds’ stupid grinning face in the grid of the city.
Did you think we were done? No! Because Chris Carter isn't the "Executive Producer," he's the "Produttore Esecutivo."
Random: The numerologist is played by Ellen Greene, Aunt Vivian on “Pushing Daisies.”