Rewatch Extra: 4x08 Paper Hearts
There are IWTB spoilers in here. You've been duly warned.
The music in this episode is gorgeous, like a jewelry box being halfway opened, the bent ballerina struggling to turn.
I’m trying to separate myself from the movie to think about just this episode, but Mulder sleeping on his lonely little couch is killing me. I’ll try my best not to type “I ( Read more... )
The music in this episode is gorgeous, like a jewelry box being halfway opened, the bent ballerina struggling to turn.
I’m trying to separate myself from the movie to think about just this episode, but Mulder sleeping on his lonely little couch is killing me. I’ll try my best not to type “I ( Read more... )
You already know this, but God, do I love Mulder with children. So much.
He sacrifices that, his selfish need for that, for the living girl in front of him. His face...his face.
Oh God. I can hardly stand to look, but I must. This is why, to me, Mulder will always be a hero. People love to throw words like "self-absorbed" and "selfish" around when describing Mulder, but I never see it that simply. Yes, he's focused, yes, he knows what he wants and will sacrifice just about anything to get to it or find it, but he's not that one-dimensional. Mulder FEELS, man; so much pain on behalf of so many more than just himself. And when the moment calls for it, he surrenders the rights to that pain to someone else, or conversely takes it all on himself.
And David shows it all, just with his face and eyes. He looks horrified at having killed Roche (I think there's something in Mulder, not just now but other times too, that wants to avoid that last step if at all possible), he looks devastated at what he's lost, he looks confused and lost and HURT and... ACK. It's all there.
Look how fucking sad he is. Shit, Scully, take that man home and make it all better! Mulder, you cannot save all the lost little girls in the world!
But he wants to believe he can. (I'm sorry, it slipped in!) It's at the heart of his character though, isn't it? That basic, frustrating, hopeless desire.
In that moment, when she's there, and they're touching, he's okay. She's holding him down, sanity in check. As soon as she leaves, he loses any peace that he just had.
Oh, Mulder. This episode breaks my goddamn heart into a billion pieces, every single time, without fail. And that cap, with his EYES? GAHHHH. *see icon* It just... yeah.
I have another movie post brewing, I think, with some ideas on plot and theme, but this'll do for now.
Are you trying to kill me, woman? I should just stop writing FOREVER about all things XF and divert to you!
When you think about it, profiling’s the closest thing to being psychic someone can be without actually having some kind of supernatural power. It’s mysterious, how it happens, especially in someone like Mulder, who often seems to intuit things like a savant.
Yes, exactly. That's why I love the entire concept behind "Spooky" Mulder; when someone's that good, it IS spooky. And I love that the show wasn't afraid to run with that ability for him.
And she does watch him. Not because it’s her job (unless we’re talking in a cosmic sense), but because she loves him. She’s the barrier, the protective skin, between Mulder and the world that just might rip him to shreds without her there.
Yes, exactly. And then this makes me wonder about when and how Mulder protects Scully, and how conversely adverse she almost seems to be about letting him do it, or even permitting him to. And it's sad, because he's almost desperate to return that love and protection.
It's not the work, really, that seems to be the draw, but doing the work with Scully. There's a flash in both their eyes in that scene outside Father Joe's apartment, and when Mulder says he's "only half of the team," and in the locker room scene where she's suggesting black market organ sales and they're riffing off each other, an old spark reigniting as their brains rejoin in the dance of the investigation. That's one of the many things we love about them, that interplay.
So, SO much word. Ugh. Get out of my head.
It brought them together, but they've moved past that, and at the end, they're willing to keep going. To keep looking forward, not back. Together.
And that's what makes that final scene so goddamn beautiful. He offers her the ultimate compromise, which isn't really a sacrifice for either of them: let's run away together, but be realistic about how far we can get. Just for a little while, let's rest together, and when the next hit comes, we'll take it. Oh, MULDER. That slightly sad smile on his face in that scene KILLED me.
Reply
And it's sad, because he's almost desperate to return that love and protection.
Oh God, my thoughts immediately go to the nosebleeds in "Memento Mori" and "Elegy." "I'm fine, Mulder. Quit staring at me." She doesn't even want him looking at her while she's vulnerable. And god, the power it seems to take him to actually look away from her at that moment. Like...he can't, but if that's what she wants from him right now, that's what he'll give her.
Oh, the sad smiles on BOTH their faces in that scene. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. (Have I mentioned that recently? I was trying to explain it to my friend last night, and I just sounded like a total crazy person who had forgotten how to string words together. I just can't articulate out loud about these two!) And it's not that I just love them generally. I think what's causing this current wave (tsunami?) of love is the fact that I love what they have become so much. They're the same, but they're not, and I love them every step of the way.
I know I've probably rambled in one post or another about characters and character growth being the reason I love TV and why I want to write it, and it just hit me that this may be the most perfectly realized example of character development in television, ever. It really is like they exist. (Annnnd...end craziness NOW.)
Reply
And god, the power it seems to take him to actually look away from her at that moment. Like...he can't, but if that's what she wants from him right now, that's what he'll give her.
UGH, yes. Scully often is lauded as the "caretaker" of the pair, but Mulder has the same desires to protect and care for Scully as she does for him. The problem, of course, lies in the fact that (a) Scully hides behind the Medical Doctor mask as an excuse to sublimate her own desires in that vein, and (b) Scully is fiercely determined to hide her weaknesses from Mulder, let alone let him help her with them. SIGH. I love how they're borderline entirely incompatible, yet somehow so PERFECT for each other. It's crazy!
I've often tried to explain why and how I love them (and the show) as much as I do, and I always come out sounding like a complete moron. Maybe it's because I'm more articulate in writing than I am in speech, or maybe it's simply because it's something that can never fully be appropriately articulated? Either way, I know what you mean.
it just hit me that this may be the most perfectly realized example of character development in television, ever. It really is like they exist.
SO VERY MUCH YES. Which is why so many people (like my friends Julie and Kylie especially) have these stories about how fictional characters have, in no small way, saved their lives. They are more real than any others I've read or seen, and I'm of the firm belief that they'll stay that way.
Reply
I love this, too! But really, have we learned nothing from Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat? Opposites attract.
I've often tried to explain why and how I love them (and the show) as much as I do, and I always come out sounding like a complete moron. Maybe it's because I'm more articulate in writing than I am in speech, or maybe it's simply because it's something that can never fully be appropriately articulated? Either way, I know what you mean.
I've always been better at writing than talking, but it's not like I'm completely useless at verbal communication, generally. I'm even fairly decent at public speaking. But talking about XF, I end up sounding like I just had a combination lobotomy/dental procedure. Even if I could get the words to form, my mouth isn't helping at all. Finally, I just said to my friend, "Okay, I'm sorry, it was sweet of you to ask, but I'm not going to try to explain this to you anymore."
Reply
Heh, yes, exactly. It's just too hard, which is why it's so good to know all these people who just get it, and be able to talk to them about it, in that same language.
Reply
Leave a comment