A Leisurely Walk Is A Luxury [10/?] | Saving Mr Banks.
“Brenda” Ralph addressed the woman as he stepped into the tense room. Pamela turned to face the man, praying to whatever Gods existed that he would pretend the woman in front of her didn’t exist, or at least show some hatred towards her. That was only wishful thinking. His expression had softened, his thin lips pulling into a half smile but his eyes betrayed him. The way he was looking at Brenda, was the way any man looked at his wife; with adoration, devotion and happiness. The dagger in her heart had been twisted. Had he ever once looked at her with such love and devotion? With every step that Ralph took towards the blonde woman, Pamela lost the will to live. Shutting her eyes, she silently prayed that this was all some horrible nightmare; that she was instead warmly wrapped up in bed, safely in Ralph’s loving arms. The sharp pain in her heart was a testimony to how real this all was.
Ralph stepped past her as though she was invisible - in a similar manner to what Jane had done - stopping in front of Brenda and embracing her in a tight hug. Pamela could feel her bottom lip begin to tremble against her own will, her eyes beginning to water. If she cried one tear, then a river would surely form. She would not give Brenda that satisfaction. Leaving the family to reunite, Pamela slipped out of the room and down the hallway. If it was possible, it was as though there was a dark empty hole in her heart; as though someone had pulled her heart right out of her chest.
She couldn’t - and wouldn’t - compete against Brenda. No matter how much Jane cared about her, Brenda was the girl’s biological mother, she had been the one to care for her as a baby and raise her. Pamela was just some woman passing through - in the grand scale of things. Ralph, her beloved Ralph, was an honorable man, would he really pick some lonely snobby writer over his wife and the mother of his child?
It felt as though her whole world was crashing in around her. Just when she thought she had finally found a home; just when she had finally began to open up, everyone she cared about was to be taken from her and right in front of her very eyes. Shutting the door as silently as possible, Pamela forced her palm against it, feeling her knees going weak under her. She silently wished that the ground would open up below her and shallow her hole. At least then she wouldn’t be forced to live with the unbearable pain and loss in her heart. As the house filled with Jane’s joyful laughter, Pamela wondered why she had ever allowed herself to fall into this fantasy. A fantasy that the three of them could be a family. A fantasy that Pamela had finally found the one place she belonged. A fantasy that would never become a reality.
Her freshly kissed lips were still soft to the touch; and at once it made her mourn the loss of Ralph’s presence by her side. Dropping herself onto the bed, Pamela wondered why it always had to be here. Wasn’t losing her father at such a young age not bad enough? Clearly not. Life kept dealing her the wrong hand, and it seemed like it always would. This was just the latest in a long list of misfortunes in her life.
Looking up, Pamela heard the front door closing with a slight ‘bang’. It seemed Ralph and Brenda were heading out to buy a bottle of wine. Pamela’s natural instinct kicked in then. She had to get out of there. Grabbing the suitcase, she dropped it down onto the bed, throwing open the lid and one by one, throwing her clothes in on top of each other. Usually, Pamela’s clothes had to be folded and organised in military precision; now they looked nothing short of chaotic. Not even checking if she had forgotten anything, Pamela picked up the phone and took the business card from her leather handbag. A short phone call later, and it was done. She was leaving. Leaving American, leaving Jane and Ralph and leaving behind the fantasy.
Clutching her luggage, Pamela’s knuckles were as white as the first drop of winter’s snow. Heading through the living room, Pamela noticed the black Lincoln pulling up at the curb. Fear and panic set in as she reached out for the cold grey doorknob. Could she really leave all this behind? Pamela knew she should stay and fight for Jane and Ralph, fight for the life she always wanted, but she had fought the hard fight too many times in her life, and had resigned herself to being constantly defeated. As her slender figures wrapped around the doorknob, a small voice sounded from behind her. “You’re leaving?” Jane’s desperate voice filled the room, looking as though someone had just told her Father Christmas wasn’t real. Pamela felt her lip shiver once more before she forced the ‘Mrs Travers’ mask back onto her face. “Yes” Pamela announced, turning around to face Jane - her darling girl - with the most heartless expression she could muster. While on the inside, the woman was slowly dying. “Your mother is back after all. You have no need for me anymore” Suddenly, Pamela felt like her beloved Mary Poppins when she left the Banks family, the irony of the situation almost killed her. “Tell your father....” Pamela stopped abruptly, what did she want her final words to Ralph to be? ‘I love you but I won’t fight for you’ or ‘I can’t play second fiddle to another woman’ Taking a deep breath, the woman continued. “I’m sorry” She concluded before pushing down the handle and heading out of the front door, not daring too look back. “Pamela! Please! Pamela!” Jane’s desperate pleas fell on deaf ears as the girl wheeled herself as far as the front door, unable to go any further unaided. Her porcelain cheeks were now painted with tears. “Don’t leave, Please! Pamela...Mama” The child breathed, her voice breaking as she spoke, unable to contain her sobs as she watched her mother figure walk right out of her life, as though she didn’t matter.
As the Lincoln pulled away from the curb, Jane let out one final cry, pleading for the woman to come back. The child’s shoulders shook and she buried her head in her hands as she allowed all her emotions to come to the surface. Pamela was gone, all because of her mother. This was all her fault. As though it would bring her back, Jane continued to repeat the woman’s name under her breath in between sobs. She even failed to notice her mother’s car pull up in a drive way, nor the worried cries of her father as he all but ran up the driveway towards her, dropping himself down at her feet. “Jane honey, what is it? What’s happened?” Taking his daughter’s hand, gently pulling them from the girl’s china doll face, he looked up worriedly into her eyes. It was as though Jane was mourning the loss of a loved one. “Pamela’s gone” The girl whispered in a state of disbelief before she broke down into another fit of sobs. “I want her back. Please, daddy” Ralph fell back at the news, his knees having given up on him. Pamela had left him, and it didn’t take the man long to put two and two together. He had to do something, and quick.
It was then that Brenda appeared behind him, wrapping her thin arm around his waist, and it took all Ralph’s self control not to strangle the woman on the spot. “It’s for the best, after all, she was a cold lonely woman” Brenda conceded, dragging the knife in further to Ralph’s heart. “Don’t you dare speak about her like that. She was more of a woman than you’ll ever be. She was more of a mother to Jane than you ever could be...and I loved her more than I could ever love you” Ralph snapped, pushing the woman’s arm off his waist and glaring at her with a look so vicious that it sent a shiver of fear down Jane’s back. Brenda took a step back then, fearful of what Ralph might do. Moving forward, he took the keys out of her hand before heading down the driveway. “You better pray that she hasn’t left yet, Brenda” Ralph barked as he arrived at the driver’s seat of his former wife’s car. Why had he been so foolish? Yes, he had been glad to see Brenda, his daughter deserved a chance to get to know her birth mother, but he should have known better than to have given Pamela the wrong idea. Now, his foolishness could cost him the woman he loved more than life itself. Pulling the car out of the driveway, Ralph darted off in the direction of the airport, hoping that destiny would be on his side and Pamela hadn’t slipped through his fingers.
He couldn’t lose her, because he couldn’t live without her.
Ralph stepped past her as though she was invisible - in a similar manner to what Jane had done - stopping in front of Brenda and embracing her in a tight hug. Pamela could feel her bottom lip begin to tremble against her own will, her eyes beginning to water. If she cried one tear, then a river would surely form. She would not give Brenda that satisfaction. Leaving the family to reunite, Pamela slipped out of the room and down the hallway. If it was possible, it was as though there was a dark empty hole in her heart; as though someone had pulled her heart right out of her chest.
She couldn’t - and wouldn’t - compete against Brenda. No matter how much Jane cared about her, Brenda was the girl’s biological mother, she had been the one to care for her as a baby and raise her. Pamela was just some woman passing through - in the grand scale of things. Ralph, her beloved Ralph, was an honorable man, would he really pick some lonely snobby writer over his wife and the mother of his child?
It felt as though her whole world was crashing in around her. Just when she thought she had finally found a home; just when she had finally began to open up, everyone she cared about was to be taken from her and right in front of her very eyes. Shutting the door as silently as possible, Pamela forced her palm against it, feeling her knees going weak under her. She silently wished that the ground would open up below her and shallow her hole. At least then she wouldn’t be forced to live with the unbearable pain and loss in her heart. As the house filled with Jane’s joyful laughter, Pamela wondered why she had ever allowed herself to fall into this fantasy. A fantasy that the three of them could be a family. A fantasy that Pamela had finally found the one place she belonged. A fantasy that would never become a reality.
Her freshly kissed lips were still soft to the touch; and at once it made her mourn the loss of Ralph’s presence by her side. Dropping herself onto the bed, Pamela wondered why it always had to be here. Wasn’t losing her father at such a young age not bad enough? Clearly not. Life kept dealing her the wrong hand, and it seemed like it always would. This was just the latest in a long list of misfortunes in her life.
Looking up, Pamela heard the front door closing with a slight ‘bang’. It seemed Ralph and Brenda were heading out to buy a bottle of wine. Pamela’s natural instinct kicked in then. She had to get out of there. Grabbing the suitcase, she dropped it down onto the bed, throwing open the lid and one by one, throwing her clothes in on top of each other. Usually, Pamela’s clothes had to be folded and organised in military precision; now they looked nothing short of chaotic. Not even checking if she had forgotten anything, Pamela picked up the phone and took the business card from her leather handbag. A short phone call later, and it was done. She was leaving. Leaving American, leaving Jane and Ralph and leaving behind the fantasy.
Clutching her luggage, Pamela’s knuckles were as white as the first drop of winter’s snow. Heading through the living room, Pamela noticed the black Lincoln pulling up at the curb. Fear and panic set in as she reached out for the cold grey doorknob. Could she really leave all this behind? Pamela knew she should stay and fight for Jane and Ralph, fight for the life she always wanted, but she had fought the hard fight too many times in her life, and had resigned herself to being constantly defeated. As her slender figures wrapped around the doorknob, a small voice sounded from behind her. “You’re leaving?” Jane’s desperate voice filled the room, looking as though someone had just told her Father Christmas wasn’t real. Pamela felt her lip shiver once more before she forced the ‘Mrs Travers’ mask back onto her face. “Yes” Pamela announced, turning around to face Jane - her darling girl - with the most heartless expression she could muster. While on the inside, the woman was slowly dying. “Your mother is back after all. You have no need for me anymore” Suddenly, Pamela felt like her beloved Mary Poppins when she left the Banks family, the irony of the situation almost killed her. “Tell your father....” Pamela stopped abruptly, what did she want her final words to Ralph to be? ‘I love you but I won’t fight for you’ or ‘I can’t play second fiddle to another woman’ Taking a deep breath, the woman continued. “I’m sorry” She concluded before pushing down the handle and heading out of the front door, not daring too look back. “Pamela! Please! Pamela!” Jane’s desperate pleas fell on deaf ears as the girl wheeled herself as far as the front door, unable to go any further unaided. Her porcelain cheeks were now painted with tears. “Don’t leave, Please! Pamela...Mama” The child breathed, her voice breaking as she spoke, unable to contain her sobs as she watched her mother figure walk right out of her life, as though she didn’t matter.
As the Lincoln pulled away from the curb, Jane let out one final cry, pleading for the woman to come back. The child’s shoulders shook and she buried her head in her hands as she allowed all her emotions to come to the surface. Pamela was gone, all because of her mother. This was all her fault. As though it would bring her back, Jane continued to repeat the woman’s name under her breath in between sobs. She even failed to notice her mother’s car pull up in a drive way, nor the worried cries of her father as he all but ran up the driveway towards her, dropping himself down at her feet. “Jane honey, what is it? What’s happened?” Taking his daughter’s hand, gently pulling them from the girl’s china doll face, he looked up worriedly into her eyes. It was as though Jane was mourning the loss of a loved one. “Pamela’s gone” The girl whispered in a state of disbelief before she broke down into another fit of sobs. “I want her back. Please, daddy” Ralph fell back at the news, his knees having given up on him. Pamela had left him, and it didn’t take the man long to put two and two together. He had to do something, and quick.
It was then that Brenda appeared behind him, wrapping her thin arm around his waist, and it took all Ralph’s self control not to strangle the woman on the spot. “It’s for the best, after all, she was a cold lonely woman” Brenda conceded, dragging the knife in further to Ralph’s heart. “Don’t you dare speak about her like that. She was more of a woman than you’ll ever be. She was more of a mother to Jane than you ever could be...and I loved her more than I could ever love you” Ralph snapped, pushing the woman’s arm off his waist and glaring at her with a look so vicious that it sent a shiver of fear down Jane’s back. Brenda took a step back then, fearful of what Ralph might do. Moving forward, he took the keys out of her hand before heading down the driveway. “You better pray that she hasn’t left yet, Brenda” Ralph barked as he arrived at the driver’s seat of his former wife’s car. Why had he been so foolish? Yes, he had been glad to see Brenda, his daughter deserved a chance to get to know her birth mother, but he should have known better than to have given Pamela the wrong idea. Now, his foolishness could cost him the woman he loved more than life itself. Pulling the car out of the driveway, Ralph darted off in the direction of the airport, hoping that destiny would be on his side and Pamela hadn’t slipped through his fingers.
He couldn’t lose her, because he couldn’t live without her.