A Leisurely Walk Is A Luxury [7/?] | Saving Mr Banks.
Fear. Pure and unrequited fear. It was Pamela’s most detested emotion. She had felt in as a child, strolling into her childhood home, her thin arms burdened down with freshly picked pears; only too find her heartbroken mother pouring her heart out on the wooden floors of the hallway. She had felt it then. The fear had made her drop the pears and rush towards her father’s room. For fear that she would never see his enchanting brown eyes again. For fear that she had lost the most important man in her life. Now, she felt that exact same fear once more. Fear that she would never hear Ralph’s joyful voice. For fear that she would lose the first man she had cared deeply about since her father’s passing.
Her hands gripped the plastic handles of Jane’s wheelchair so tightly that the skin was the same colour as the first drops of winter’s snow. Arriving at the nurse’s station, she tried her best to keep the ‘Mrs. Travers’ mask on as she demanded to know where Ralph was; only too be told that only immediate family were allowed in the Intensive Care Unit. Pamela stood dumbstruck, they wouldn’t even let her in to see him? Jane on the other hand, spoke for the first time since being informed of her father’s accident. “Can my mom and I see daddy now?” The child begged, looking up at the nurse with her best puppy dog eyes, the tears still fresh in her eyes. The question had caught Pamela off guard, but she had managed to keep her poker face in place. The nurses’ stern face lessened somewhat when she looked down at the vulnerable and innocent looking Jane. “Down the hallway, third door on your right will take you to ICU, the nurse can direct you from there” The nurse revealed, smiling comfortingly at the pair before Pamela nodded her head in thanks before disappearing down the hallway, following the nurse’s directions. Each step made the fear grow, but each step brought her closer to him.
When they were finally escorted into Ralph’s room in ICU, the sight that greeted Pamela stopped her in her tracks, and left Jane’s lips in a perfect ‘O’ shape. Ralph’s forehead had a five inch gash across it, while it was dressed and stitched, Pamela could still see the dry, crisp blood surrounding it. His right arm was in both a heavy ivory plaster and a matching sling. She had never seen the man so pale, connected up to several monitors. The only noise that filled the tense room was the constant beeping of the machines...the only sign that Pamela had not lost another man in her life. It was Jane who forced Pamela out of her daze. “Daddy?” The girl whispered, completely heartbroken as she looked at the weak and fragile man in the bed before her.
Pushing Jane’s wheelchair up to the side of Ralph’s generic hospital bed - making sure to go to his good side - Pamela sat herself down on the plastic chair. Jane remained silent, simply watching her father’s sturdy chest rising and falling steadily, while her head rested on Pamela’s shoulder, the woman’s presence along managed to comfort her. At some stage, Pamela reached out to take Ralph’s hand, it was ice cold to the touch, which caused Pamela to tighten her grip on it as she struggle to hold back the tears, for Jane’s sake if not her own.
At some stage, Jane had managed to silently cry herself to sleep on Pamela’s shoulder, her crystal like tears had soaked Pamela’s flimsy silk blouse. Pamela rested her cheek against the child’s pale forehead, her eyes never leaving Ralph as she felt herself become more exhausted - both mentally and physically - with each passing second. Her attention was solely on Ralph, to the extent that she had failed to hear the door creak open, or the heavy footsteps of a nurse entering the room. “Ma’am?” Pamela almost jumped out of her skin as she felt a hand come to rest on her troublesome shoulders. “Yes?” Pamela asked, slipping her hand around Jane’s shoulder in order to keep the girl where she was as she turned to face the nurse. “Visiting times are over, but would you and your daughter like me to bring a bed in here? So you can stay the night with your husband?” The nurse asked, looking down sadly at Jane and Pamela. While she looked younger - newly qualified by Pamela’s guess - she was mature beyond her age. Pamela was about to protest, inform the young naive nurse that she was not Jane’s mother nor Ralph’s wife, but then remembered that only immediate family was allowed into ICU. That fear came back once more - the fear of having to leave Ralph and something happening to him. “Please” Pamela forced a weak smile at the young woman, who nodded before heading back out of the room and in search of a bed.
Within no time, both Pamela and Jane were asleep on the hospital bed that rested next to Ralph’s. Jane had managed to fall into a peaceful sleep while Jane tossed and turned as much as she could with Jane in the bed as well. An hour of sleep was the most that Pamela could manage, her sleep filled with nightmares. Nightmares that involved Ralph never waking up, of Jane being left without a father, and of losing the only man she had ever loved since her father’s death. Pushing herself off the bed, Pamela headed over to the right hand side of the bed; where she could keep a close eye on Jane as the girl slept but also hold Ralph’s good hand. Sitting herself down, she felt as though she was carrying an unbearable cross on her back. Resting her tried head down onto the bed beside their joint hands, Pamela allowed her eyes to shut for a moment, before she fell asleep to the gentle lulling of the constant beeping of the machines around her.
A large strong hand awoke her from her sleep, resting on the top of her head while long fingers creased her forehead and hairline. At first, she leaned forward into the touch, keeping her eyes shut as she yawned softly; before remembering where she was. Her eyes shot opened like a bullet, like a cat caught in the headlights of a car. ‘Ralph?” She whispered fearfully before her eyes came to rest on the man. Lying before her was Ralph, wide awake with his oxygen mask resting in his lap, his usual joy filled smile pulling on his lips while he moved to take ahold of Pamela’s smaller hand in his own. “You stupid man! You scared the life out of me!” Pamela protested, feeling the tears fill her eyes as she was forced to realise just how close she came to forever losing the man before her. Pushing herself forward, Pamela allowed the mask to slip from her porcelain face as she wrapped her arms around Ralph, bringing herself up to his chest as she held onto his muscular body tightly; as though if she let him go, he would disappear before her very eyes. He winced a little, readjusting themselves so that she wasn’t pressing into his injured arm. “You are going no where, do you hear me?!” Pamela demanded, allowing herself to laugh with joy as she rested her hand on the back of the man’s bald head as she kissed his cheek affectionately. The commotion was enough to wake Jane from her peaceful sleep. The child raised her head, swaying it from side to side before noticing her father. “Daddy?!” Jane cried happily, smiling brighter than ever as she looked between her father and Pamela.
Pamela had no reason to be fearful anymore. Ralph was alive and well, safely in her arms. It was then that she realised something. Love. Pure and unrequited love. It was Pamela’s most unappreciated emotion. Though in that one single moment, she had felt a life time’s worth of love surround her. Fear had been replaced by love. Everything would be okay now, she was sure of that.
Her hands gripped the plastic handles of Jane’s wheelchair so tightly that the skin was the same colour as the first drops of winter’s snow. Arriving at the nurse’s station, she tried her best to keep the ‘Mrs. Travers’ mask on as she demanded to know where Ralph was; only too be told that only immediate family were allowed in the Intensive Care Unit. Pamela stood dumbstruck, they wouldn’t even let her in to see him? Jane on the other hand, spoke for the first time since being informed of her father’s accident. “Can my mom and I see daddy now?” The child begged, looking up at the nurse with her best puppy dog eyes, the tears still fresh in her eyes. The question had caught Pamela off guard, but she had managed to keep her poker face in place. The nurses’ stern face lessened somewhat when she looked down at the vulnerable and innocent looking Jane. “Down the hallway, third door on your right will take you to ICU, the nurse can direct you from there” The nurse revealed, smiling comfortingly at the pair before Pamela nodded her head in thanks before disappearing down the hallway, following the nurse’s directions. Each step made the fear grow, but each step brought her closer to him.
When they were finally escorted into Ralph’s room in ICU, the sight that greeted Pamela stopped her in her tracks, and left Jane’s lips in a perfect ‘O’ shape. Ralph’s forehead had a five inch gash across it, while it was dressed and stitched, Pamela could still see the dry, crisp blood surrounding it. His right arm was in both a heavy ivory plaster and a matching sling. She had never seen the man so pale, connected up to several monitors. The only noise that filled the tense room was the constant beeping of the machines...the only sign that Pamela had not lost another man in her life. It was Jane who forced Pamela out of her daze. “Daddy?” The girl whispered, completely heartbroken as she looked at the weak and fragile man in the bed before her.
Pushing Jane’s wheelchair up to the side of Ralph’s generic hospital bed - making sure to go to his good side - Pamela sat herself down on the plastic chair. Jane remained silent, simply watching her father’s sturdy chest rising and falling steadily, while her head rested on Pamela’s shoulder, the woman’s presence along managed to comfort her. At some stage, Pamela reached out to take Ralph’s hand, it was ice cold to the touch, which caused Pamela to tighten her grip on it as she struggle to hold back the tears, for Jane’s sake if not her own.
At some stage, Jane had managed to silently cry herself to sleep on Pamela’s shoulder, her crystal like tears had soaked Pamela’s flimsy silk blouse. Pamela rested her cheek against the child’s pale forehead, her eyes never leaving Ralph as she felt herself become more exhausted - both mentally and physically - with each passing second. Her attention was solely on Ralph, to the extent that she had failed to hear the door creak open, or the heavy footsteps of a nurse entering the room. “Ma’am?” Pamela almost jumped out of her skin as she felt a hand come to rest on her troublesome shoulders. “Yes?” Pamela asked, slipping her hand around Jane’s shoulder in order to keep the girl where she was as she turned to face the nurse. “Visiting times are over, but would you and your daughter like me to bring a bed in here? So you can stay the night with your husband?” The nurse asked, looking down sadly at Jane and Pamela. While she looked younger - newly qualified by Pamela’s guess - she was mature beyond her age. Pamela was about to protest, inform the young naive nurse that she was not Jane’s mother nor Ralph’s wife, but then remembered that only immediate family was allowed into ICU. That fear came back once more - the fear of having to leave Ralph and something happening to him. “Please” Pamela forced a weak smile at the young woman, who nodded before heading back out of the room and in search of a bed.
Within no time, both Pamela and Jane were asleep on the hospital bed that rested next to Ralph’s. Jane had managed to fall into a peaceful sleep while Jane tossed and turned as much as she could with Jane in the bed as well. An hour of sleep was the most that Pamela could manage, her sleep filled with nightmares. Nightmares that involved Ralph never waking up, of Jane being left without a father, and of losing the only man she had ever loved since her father’s death. Pushing herself off the bed, Pamela headed over to the right hand side of the bed; where she could keep a close eye on Jane as the girl slept but also hold Ralph’s good hand. Sitting herself down, she felt as though she was carrying an unbearable cross on her back. Resting her tried head down onto the bed beside their joint hands, Pamela allowed her eyes to shut for a moment, before she fell asleep to the gentle lulling of the constant beeping of the machines around her.
A large strong hand awoke her from her sleep, resting on the top of her head while long fingers creased her forehead and hairline. At first, she leaned forward into the touch, keeping her eyes shut as she yawned softly; before remembering where she was. Her eyes shot opened like a bullet, like a cat caught in the headlights of a car. ‘Ralph?” She whispered fearfully before her eyes came to rest on the man. Lying before her was Ralph, wide awake with his oxygen mask resting in his lap, his usual joy filled smile pulling on his lips while he moved to take ahold of Pamela’s smaller hand in his own. “You stupid man! You scared the life out of me!” Pamela protested, feeling the tears fill her eyes as she was forced to realise just how close she came to forever losing the man before her. Pushing herself forward, Pamela allowed the mask to slip from her porcelain face as she wrapped her arms around Ralph, bringing herself up to his chest as she held onto his muscular body tightly; as though if she let him go, he would disappear before her very eyes. He winced a little, readjusting themselves so that she wasn’t pressing into his injured arm. “You are going no where, do you hear me?!” Pamela demanded, allowing herself to laugh with joy as she rested her hand on the back of the man’s bald head as she kissed his cheek affectionately. The commotion was enough to wake Jane from her peaceful sleep. The child raised her head, swaying it from side to side before noticing her father. “Daddy?!” Jane cried happily, smiling brighter than ever as she looked between her father and Pamela.
Pamela had no reason to be fearful anymore. Ralph was alive and well, safely in her arms. It was then that she realised something. Love. Pure and unrequited love. It was Pamela’s most unappreciated emotion. Though in that one single moment, she had felt a life time’s worth of love surround her. Fear had been replaced by love. Everything would be okay now, she was sure of that.