Recipe: Homemade Mac and Cheese
YOU WILL NEED:
ONE CUP OF SOFT CHEESE
MILK
BUTTER
AT LEAST THREE POTS
1. Place a pot of water on the stove for the pasta
2. Cut your selected cheese into small cubes so it melts faster. A cup should suffice.
3. In a double boiler, combine half a cup of milk, half a stick of butter, and your cubes of cheese. Bring to a slow boil over a low-medium heat. Cover and allow to simmer.
4. Merrily start boiling your pasta.
5. Check on your burgeoning cheese sauce. Take careful note that the butter and milk have formed a delightful looking creamy sauce but the cheese has taken on the consistency of Silly Putty and will not come apart into smaller pieces. Empty water out of the bottom of double boiler. Pour cheese and milk into the bottom pot. Apply directly to heat source. Turn up heat to full medium. Glare at pot.
6. Stir your pasta.
7. Pour cheese and milk mixture into saucepan. Turn up to medium-high heat.
8. Turn down heat under pasta pot to allow more time for dicking around with cheese sauce.
7. Stir the cheese sauce rigorously. Attempt to pull cheese glob apart with spoon. When unsuccessful, mash cheese in an attempt to break it up. Upon failing, begin trying to fold cheese like pizza dough to work milk into it.
8. Drain pasta. Return to still-warm pot.
9. Remove cheese lump from pot and throw in trash. Cry into pot of buttery milk sauce. Add 4 cloves of garlic, red pepper flakes, and oregano. Salt to taste.
10. Pour sauce into pasta pot. Cover and shake until sauce is evenly mixed in.
11. Eat and try not to cry about the $6.99 you paid for Gouda because you confused it with Gruyere.
ONE CUP OF SOFT CHEESE
MILK
BUTTER
AT LEAST THREE POTS
1. Place a pot of water on the stove for the pasta
2. Cut your selected cheese into small cubes so it melts faster. A cup should suffice.
3. In a double boiler, combine half a cup of milk, half a stick of butter, and your cubes of cheese. Bring to a slow boil over a low-medium heat. Cover and allow to simmer.
4. Merrily start boiling your pasta.
5. Check on your burgeoning cheese sauce. Take careful note that the butter and milk have formed a delightful looking creamy sauce but the cheese has taken on the consistency of Silly Putty and will not come apart into smaller pieces. Empty water out of the bottom of double boiler. Pour cheese and milk into the bottom pot. Apply directly to heat source. Turn up heat to full medium. Glare at pot.
6. Stir your pasta.
7. Pour cheese and milk mixture into saucepan. Turn up to medium-high heat.
8. Turn down heat under pasta pot to allow more time for dicking around with cheese sauce.
7. Stir the cheese sauce rigorously. Attempt to pull cheese glob apart with spoon. When unsuccessful, mash cheese in an attempt to break it up. Upon failing, begin trying to fold cheese like pizza dough to work milk into it.
8. Drain pasta. Return to still-warm pot.
9. Remove cheese lump from pot and throw in trash. Cry into pot of buttery milk sauce. Add 4 cloves of garlic, red pepper flakes, and oregano. Salt to taste.
10. Pour sauce into pasta pot. Cover and shake until sauce is evenly mixed in.
11. Eat and try not to cry about the $6.99 you paid for Gouda because you confused it with Gruyere.