I wrote this last night.

[thelightstings]

As I got off of work tonight I reached for my keys and heard a car start. I thought to myself " that sounds like my parents car. That would usually be for me". Looking up I realized that I hadnt driven myself to work but my sister had left me at the mall after shopping. I see three heads in the car and my entire family has come to pick up their "baby" from work. Im sure my mom and dad enjoyed this opportunity to feel somewhat needed, like when I was younger. Inside the car was a strangeness. My parents were actually in a good mood. Not just a good mood, no , they were joking around with each other and laughing and acting childish even. Fun. My mother was making wierd noises and my dad was making hand gestures of a needle needed to be put in her neck to calm her down. They were all laughing. Then my sister yells that she wants to hear the christmas music. My mother blasts the christmas carol song and I start to sink in my seat. Oh how I hate the never changing christmas carols. Always the same. But then something happened. Just as I was getting bothered by the song, I became content. The feeling actually consumed me and I began to realize what I had. In this very moment my sister and I in the backseat, became 11 and 10. Dad driving, mom in the front seat singing loudley off key. The family for one brief moment seemed fine. And at this, I swallowed and smiled inside. It was then also, that I felt a little bit of the warmth of christmas. Perhaps it was the song. I dont know what did it. But it made me happy for what I had. At that second I was glad that my family was there. I was ok with feeling like a little girl. Everything was exactly how it always was. Even up to me frowning at the song. I was looking out the window imaging us young again.

When I looked back into the car at my parents -my mom with her hand hit my dad on the head. She considered it play but that broke the trance. "Back to normal" I thought. Back to her bothering me because I think she' s not right. Back to me feeling bad for my dad. Back to me constantly hating every second with her.

But instead of forgetting everything. I actually let it sit in my heart. Its not everyday that Im happy with my family. Even for the brief second it was.