hcalB
Taylor is playing her piano, and I am trying to think of something to write other than the usual.
Today wasn't just about me wishing that I had not ended with Austin, more about how to cope with it. Not trying to answer the 'what if's' and trying even harder to not ask them. I really do care for him, and I really do wish that things could somehow be resolved, and he could make the changes that I need him to, but it isn't my place to ask I realize, nor demand, and I cannot have drugs in my life, so that is the reality, and it blows hardcore typhoon style.
To deal with this new onslaught of grief I am on double what my anti-depressant was. I needed it before this too, but this helped me to go through with the change. Newer, happier, more medicated Chris in 24 hours...
So, my question of the day: Will it ever end?
Explanation: Will I always long like this for Austin and I to reconcile, and for him to reconcile with himself.
Today wasn't just about me wishing that I had not ended with Austin, more about how to cope with it. Not trying to answer the 'what if's' and trying even harder to not ask them. I really do care for him, and I really do wish that things could somehow be resolved, and he could make the changes that I need him to, but it isn't my place to ask I realize, nor demand, and I cannot have drugs in my life, so that is the reality, and it blows hardcore typhoon style.
To deal with this new onslaught of grief I am on double what my anti-depressant was. I needed it before this too, but this helped me to go through with the change. Newer, happier, more medicated Chris in 24 hours...
So, my question of the day: Will it ever end?
Explanation: Will I always long like this for Austin and I to reconcile, and for him to reconcile with himself.