...and though I ebb in worth, I'll flow in thanks. ~John Taylor
Happy Thanksgiving!
I am at my grandparent's, mostly making dinner. It is very simple this year, as we have all been busy, some with more pressing matters, others with little to do but entertain themselves. My great-grandmother is quite ill this year, very weak and we are all on the stance that this will be her last Thanksgiving. Even if that is not true, we are all in the know that this this year will be the last year for her to physically enjoy the holiday. I hope that she goes quickly, and doesn't have to suffer the indignities that I know she fears more than her death itself, and for which I would pity her. I love her very much, she is such a clean spirit, unfettered by dilemma that so easily distract and dismay some of us, my grandmother specifically.
I am grateful though for her, worries and all. I am glad that I have someone in my life to guide me, even if it is so vaguely, through things. My mother would never be there in such a way, she isn't for herself, so what could I possibly expect from her for myself. I cannot say much that I am grateful for when it comes to my mother, except her unfounded genorosity to me. Her leniency. She is a good soul, but she is in a damaged vessel. Constantly miscommunicating, and misinterpreting the world. I love her, and I have hoped everyday, and I will hope everyday on, past her life, and into the ends of mine, that she finds an absolution. I want her to find peace, just for her, I hope there is a heaven.
I am proud of the friendships I have as well. Casual as some of them may be, and as tarnished as some of them may become, in the end, they are solid gold. I love my friends, and I am thankful every moment for them, and for their role in my life. I hope that I make them as content and appreciative, even a fraction as much as they make me, for they would be more satisfied than those who work a lifetime to be so. I love you guys.
And, now, most close to my heart, I am thankful for someone who has come into my life slowly, and seeded themselves into my heart, and into my every thought. I have not been this content. I have tried to be, and failed, or at least, not had what I genuinely wished, and strived to attain. This though, instills in me a calm and warmth that I have never quite felt, except after I have cried. The feeling of purity, and release, where you have weathered the harsh, and survived. My only fear is of its premature end, irrational as it may be, and everyday it slowly dissipates, leaving me more confident in my feelings, and in his. I am falling deeper and deeper, and I can only hope that the feeling is returned, but I will cross any distance I can to maybe make that so. Thank you, Baby.
I have a smile stretched from ear to ear
I see you walking down the road
We meet at the lights, I stare for a while
The world around us disappears
It's just you and me on my island of hope
A breath between us could be miles
Let me surround you, a sea to your shore
Let me be the calm you seek
I am at my grandparent's, mostly making dinner. It is very simple this year, as we have all been busy, some with more pressing matters, others with little to do but entertain themselves. My great-grandmother is quite ill this year, very weak and we are all on the stance that this will be her last Thanksgiving. Even if that is not true, we are all in the know that this this year will be the last year for her to physically enjoy the holiday. I hope that she goes quickly, and doesn't have to suffer the indignities that I know she fears more than her death itself, and for which I would pity her. I love her very much, she is such a clean spirit, unfettered by dilemma that so easily distract and dismay some of us, my grandmother specifically.
I am grateful though for her, worries and all. I am glad that I have someone in my life to guide me, even if it is so vaguely, through things. My mother would never be there in such a way, she isn't for herself, so what could I possibly expect from her for myself. I cannot say much that I am grateful for when it comes to my mother, except her unfounded genorosity to me. Her leniency. She is a good soul, but she is in a damaged vessel. Constantly miscommunicating, and misinterpreting the world. I love her, and I have hoped everyday, and I will hope everyday on, past her life, and into the ends of mine, that she finds an absolution. I want her to find peace, just for her, I hope there is a heaven.
I am proud of the friendships I have as well. Casual as some of them may be, and as tarnished as some of them may become, in the end, they are solid gold. I love my friends, and I am thankful every moment for them, and for their role in my life. I hope that I make them as content and appreciative, even a fraction as much as they make me, for they would be more satisfied than those who work a lifetime to be so. I love you guys.
And, now, most close to my heart, I am thankful for someone who has come into my life slowly, and seeded themselves into my heart, and into my every thought. I have not been this content. I have tried to be, and failed, or at least, not had what I genuinely wished, and strived to attain. This though, instills in me a calm and warmth that I have never quite felt, except after I have cried. The feeling of purity, and release, where you have weathered the harsh, and survived. My only fear is of its premature end, irrational as it may be, and everyday it slowly dissipates, leaving me more confident in my feelings, and in his. I am falling deeper and deeper, and I can only hope that the feeling is returned, but I will cross any distance I can to maybe make that so. Thank you, Baby.
I have a smile stretched from ear to ear
I see you walking down the road
We meet at the lights, I stare for a while
The world around us disappears
It's just you and me on my island of hope
A breath between us could be miles
Let me surround you, a sea to your shore
Let me be the calm you seek