dang
ok. so i am retarded.
pretty much certifiably.
that did not help my case at all.
combination me having myself COMPLETELY emotionally open, and also me really needing to find some information out so i can plan my next couple weeks..i mean, im actually holding off on planning my move out and visit with family because i made a promise...of course i dont think they really care about the promise. they probably just got swept up in the moment.
solution: put my damned heart away! i swear its making me hormonal. i think this is what menstruation is like. i had to actually check to see if i was growing a vagina. i think i felt the beginnings, but im not sure. ill check my underwear for spotting for the next couple days. lol.
i just figured i needed to be open. but whats the point of being open if someone is too busy to talk? there is none. i can afford to go ahead and take it down a notch. not to say the feelings go away. i just need to keep them in an appropriate check.
i have been coming on way too strong. i realize this! ok. done being angsty. and emotional in general. no point.
i know! i know....
ok real solution. ive been all but ignored. for good reason. ive been really really lame. so now. i think my feelings have been sufficiently expressed. i will just go ahead and let what is out there be. i dont need to continue to repeat myself.
let her think on it. if she is at all interested, she can talk to me when shes ready. or if she decides she wants to talk
yep, i feel like a gigantic douche. point and note taken. theyll let me know when they want to talk. IF they want to talk, that is.
ugh, emotions. unfortunately i am very emotional, and sincere. fortunately i am also reasonable. i cant do each one at the same time though. so damn the emotions and sincerity and just letting it be. its making me dumb. logic, and reason.
ok. time for some me time. i mean, christ, i told a good buddy of mine i didnt want to go out because i was waiting on a phonecall that never happened.
i am dumb.
oh well. i wasnt trying to be dumb.
douchiness/profound stupidity recognized.
im better now.
im getting a massage on monday. monday is a day off. i like that.
hahhaahha... oh me oh life. hope everyone is having a good night. im going to bed, ive got work tomorrow