We see the future in the past, and the present in both......
As I look back on my youthful posts, the ones with arrogance and deep honesty, I feel a disconnect from that person. The honesty is still boiling within me, but the arrogance has deteriorated with every source of genuine love I've encountered. I'm humble, shy and observant. I no longer want to be better than others, I merely want to learn from them, and bask in their greatness and their ignorance. Both are valuable. My heart is still broken and confused by the sudden break of a friendship that I cherished immensely. I long for her contact, but I know it's not my place. I gave her my soul, and if she can't see that, I'm left with the new-found knowledge that maybe some just don't want it. That's a sad pill to swallow. That's a knife that cuts deep. I continue to wish good things for this disconnected friend, but I can't let her absence cease my life..... I have a few who love me, even though I'm extremely flawed. I cling to them, more so than usual, because I'm floating in space, and I don't want to be alone......