it all started with a gangrenous toe
the first one i can remember was penny from
inspector gadget. i would scribble in a
notebook while hiding behind the couch. i would
talk into my watch and say things like, "dr. claw
is right behind you." and "get the bad guys, brain."
i must have been pretty little because i
couldn't spell "penny."
then it was a girl named jessica lee. she was
in my 3rd grade class and she was beautiful.
i would study her in class and take on her
mannerisms. i would color like her. use the same
kind-of pencil. fold my hands over my chest and tap
my foot like her, while the teacher droned on about
fractions.
then punky brewster. with the ribbons in the hair
and the bandana tied over one knee. i asked my mom if i
could legally change my name to "punky brewster,"
but she just laughed and told me i had a very nice
name.
then it was the girl from the movie, "the little princess."
then my best friend, natasha.
then wynona ryder when i saw beetlejuice.
then twiggy.
then a guy named "james" who used to knit
in science class.
then charlie chaplin.
then wynona ryder again when i saw girl interrupted.
then chris pace.
then anyone from japan.
then charlie brown.
then audrey tautou.
then the guy from school with the
mohawk who played the bass like a
madman.
and on and on...
which is why i'm 27 years old and i have no concept
of who cindy schuyler really is. i'm a coat patched together
too many times and now the original color could be any color.
brown, beige, burgundy. i don't know. it's hard to admit
that i'm an asshole, but i think that's a pretty solid
foundation to build on.
inspector gadget. i would scribble in a
notebook while hiding behind the couch. i would
talk into my watch and say things like, "dr. claw
is right behind you." and "get the bad guys, brain."
i must have been pretty little because i
couldn't spell "penny."
then it was a girl named jessica lee. she was
in my 3rd grade class and she was beautiful.
i would study her in class and take on her
mannerisms. i would color like her. use the same
kind-of pencil. fold my hands over my chest and tap
my foot like her, while the teacher droned on about
fractions.
then punky brewster. with the ribbons in the hair
and the bandana tied over one knee. i asked my mom if i
could legally change my name to "punky brewster,"
but she just laughed and told me i had a very nice
name.
then it was the girl from the movie, "the little princess."
then my best friend, natasha.
then wynona ryder when i saw beetlejuice.
then twiggy.
then a guy named "james" who used to knit
in science class.
then charlie chaplin.
then wynona ryder again when i saw girl interrupted.
then chris pace.
then anyone from japan.
then charlie brown.
then audrey tautou.
then the guy from school with the
mohawk who played the bass like a
madman.
and on and on...
which is why i'm 27 years old and i have no concept
of who cindy schuyler really is. i'm a coat patched together
too many times and now the original color could be any color.
brown, beige, burgundy. i don't know. it's hard to admit
that i'm an asshole, but i think that's a pretty solid
foundation to build on.