There's Always Brooklyn - Chapter Thirty-Two
Title: There's Always Brooklyn
Author: Sio and Maura
Artist: raingoddess2040
Type: AU Post On My Way, future femslash with a het side pairing
Word Count: 195,092
Rating: NC-17 for later chapters
Characters/Pairings: Rachel/Santana, Quinn/OMC, past Quinn/Rachel, Santana/Brittany, near miss Quinn/Santana, Quinn/Rachel
Warnings (highlight to read): Explicit sexual content in later chapters, talk of presumed non-con (no actual), minor off-screen violence, strong language, external/general homophobia, child (not kink), parenting (not kink)
Summary: Six years ago, Santana Lopez disappeared following graduation. The costs for therapy and rehab to get out of her chair, made Quinn Fabray realize she couldn't have Yale, so she went with her second acceptance - NYU. Rachel Berry missed out on NYADA but made it into Tisch, only to find herself as roommates with Quinn after tearing herself away from Finn to go to New York. Eventually a gin soaked night led to a tormented relationship that eventually was surrendered to save their fading friendship. When Rachel finally managed to land a Broadway lead under Quinn's management, they were shocked by who showed up for the latest opening as Rachel's assistant.
What neither of them had ever expected was that she'd have a child with her. One she'd ran away to New York to be able to have without the shame Quinn had gone through.
Chapter 32
Santana came over to her daughter who was lying petulantly on the middle of the king sized bed in the rental house that Rachel had been residing in. It was nearly one in the afternoon and they had a nine o'clock flight, meaning they had to get to the airport by six thirty at the latest. Brooklyn had just taken a bath and was protesting the very idea of leaving Los Angeles. The following day was her birthday and she wanted to spend it with Rachel and Santana. She was upset at the notion of going home without half of her family and was protesting every second of Santana's packing through the day.
"Brooklyn," Santana sighed, her patience being tested with every passing minute. "Come on, dry off so we can get your pajamas on."
"No," she pouted, pulling the towel tighter around her so it couldn't be used to dry her hair. "I don't wanna leave."
"Brooke, we need to go home. I told you we'd be leaving on the 27th and it's the 27th." Santana sighed, "Remember you have to go to Lily's for a sleepover on the 29th and tomorrow is your birthday."
"I want to stay with Momma!" she cried, rolling over away from Santana, "I wanna be with Momma on my birthday! I don't wanna go to stupid Lily's! I don't like her!"
"Don't say that." Santana said as she went to the suitcases and pulled out a pair of flannel pajama pants, a sweatshirt and a tshirt with tinkerbell on it. "You do like her. Stop being cranky please and sit up."
"No! I want Momma!" She started crying, curling into a little ball on the bed. "I don't wanna leave Momma again, Mommy. I hate leaving Momma. She's gone and I miss her so much!"
"We need to head home, baby." Santana sighed and sat down rubbing her daughter's back. "We need to get up and get dressed. Please, Brooklyn."
"No, Mommy! I don't wanna go!" She sobbed into the blanket, clutching it. "No!"
Rachel poked her head into the room worriedly at the sounds of Brooklyn's screams echoing through the condo, "Is everything okay?"
"Not really." Santana sighed, "Brooklyn Rain," She exclaimed, "You need to take a deep breath and sit up. You are six years old and you need to act like a big girl okay?"
"No!" she sobbed, burying her face in the blanket. "You're a bad mommy! No take me from Momma! I want Momma! I hate you!"
Rachel looked shocked at the outburst. "Brooklyn! That's a terrible thing to say to your mom! Why are you being like this?"
Brooklyn took in a shaky breath at the sound of Rachel's voice and turned a tear-streaked face to her. "I don't wanna go away and leave you alone again! Mommy's making me! She's bad!"
Santana looked down and stood up. She had never been spoken to by her daughter like that before, she took a shaky breath before walking out of the room and into the bathroom.
"Santana," Rachel called weakly as she watched her walk off. "Brooklyn Rain Lopez, look what you did!" she scolded, going over to the bed. "You hurt your mom! How could you do that? She loves you so much and you're saying such awful, hateful things to her." She shook her head, disappointed, "That's not the Brooklyn I know and love. Why are you being bad and so mean to your mom?"
Brooklyn broke out into harder sobs. "No, Rachie!" she cried. "Don't make me go."
"Why shouldn't I when you're being hateful and mean to your mom who loves you more than anything?" Rachel asked with a frown. "My Brooklyn would never behave like that. She would never say such awful things and make her mom upset like you just did. Maybe it was a bad idea wanting to try and be your mom too if you're going to be awful to your mom because of it."
“You can’t!” she gasped. “You can’t stop being my mom! I just got you!” she screamed. “You said you’d never leave me!”
"I never said I was leaving you, Brooklyn, but you are being entirely cruel to your mom and it is not at all warranted," Rachel frowned, unhappy with the entire situation. "And you know that. You are being willful and mean and there is nothing that disappoints me more than to see you behave like this."
“I want you to spend my birthday with me!” she shivered. “Not fair.”
"Things aren't always fair, sweetie," Rachel pointed out. "And when you throw a fit like this and make your mom feel bad, then I can't try and do what I wanted to for your birthday because you're being bad and upsetting your mom and I simply cannot reward that behaviour."
She pouted, “I don’t want to go home without you.”
"Well, perhaps if you'd behaved like the big girl you and I both know you are instead of throwing a tantrum like a baby and being cruel to your mom, that might not have been necessary. Now, well," Rachel shrugged, clearly unhappy with Brooklyn, "I just don't know if that's possible anymore."
“I’m sorry,” the little girl whimpered, as she watched Santana come back in the room with red eyes. “Mommy...”
“Don’t,” Santana cut her off. “Dressed, now,” she said with with a stern tone. “Don’t make me tell you again.”
Her tiny face crumpled but she nodded and scooted off the bed to start wriggling into her clothes with her shoulders slumped.
"Santana," Rachel whispered, reaching a hand to her wrist, "I'm sorry about all this... I'll... I'll change my plans. I know we... you can't reward this behaviour." Her shoulders slumped and she turned to walk out of the room quietly, feeling like the entire situation was her fault.
The young mother sighed, “Brooklyn, brush your hair and teeth then go back and sit on the bed.” she instructed before following Rachel out. “This is not your fault. She’s being a brat.”
"My fault or not, if I go home with you now, it'll look like we're rewarding her tantrum by giving her what she wants." Rachel sighed, rubbing her arms, "I was so looking forward to going home with you too..."
“You can still come home with us... don’t let her behavior ruin your plans. She just loses her mp3 player and gets time out.” Santana shrugged.
"But, Santana, my coming home with you is why she was throwing the tantrum in the first place, not because she wanted the mp3 player and you wouldn't let her have it." Rachel frowned, frustrated. She rubbed at her face, "I hate that she said such a horrible thing to you because of me. I... Maybe we shouldn't have tried to do this co-parenting thing so soon? I mean, could her misbehaviour be inspired by that?"
“I guess all parents get played against each other...” Santana said softly, “I just never had to deal with it before...”
"I'm sorry I'm the cause of it," Rachel smiled sadly. "You know she didn't mean it, right? What she said?"
Santana looked up and tried to ignore the prickle of tears, “Doesn’t matter.”
"It does matter," she insisted, wrapping her arms around Santana and hugging her tight. "It was cruel of her to say that and I hope she'll apologize when she calms down. We love you, Santana. More than anything. I promise we do."
“She’s a little kid, she wasn’t meaning to be cruel.” Santana sighed, “and I know... “
"Being a little kid is no excuse," Rachel insisted. "She knows better. You raised her better. I felt so incredibly disappointed in her when I heard those words leave her mouth."
“Me too.” Santana sighed, “Are you coming home or not?”
"Of course I'm coming home," she reassured her. "I just... I want her to apologize to you for what she said and start acting like the big girl we all know she is. I want to fly out with you, but if I have to, I'll take the next flight."
“She’ll be fine.” Santana sighed, “Just... can you please make some snacks for the trip while I talk to my kid?”
"Yeah," she nodded. "I can do that. Are," she hesitated licking her lips and looking up at Santana uncertainly, "are we okay?"
“Yes,” Santana assured her, “Right now I need to deal with my kid and what seems to be the first showing of my attitude in her.” She pouted and rubbed her face.
Rachel laughed softly. "You're welcome to blame it on my influence if it'd make you feel better," she offered with a wry smile. "After all, I still have my diva moments on occasion and we are trying to... co-parent I believe the word is."
“This is gonna take some getting used to,” she said, “I’m gonna go talk to her...” Santana slipped back into the room to see Brooklyn sitting on the middle on the bed playing with the tips of her hair. She watched her small daughter for a moment before walking over as sliding onto the bed to sit cross legged across from her.
Brooklyn glanced up at her looking sad and scared for a moment before looking back down at her lap. "I'm sorry for saying bad things, Mommy," she whispered.
“Thank you,” Santana said softly as she took her daughter's hands into her hands and played with her fingers. “You hurt my feelings, though.”
"I'm sorry," she whispered, watching Santana's hands move across hers. "I was sad and mad. I don't wanna leave Rachie." She glanced up scared, "She's not gonna stop being my Momma cause I was bad is she?"
“No, that's not how having parents works...” Santana said, “Like how I’ll never stop loving you even though you hurt my feelings and disappointed me a little bit.”
"I didn't mean to," she sniffed. "I just don't want Rachie to be far away no more. It's too sad and makes my chest hurt when we have to say bye and go away."
“I know, but you can’t lash out okay?” She said as she squeezed her daughter's hand, “You have to learn to not get angry or cry when you are upset.”
"But it's so sad, Mommy," she sniffed, her little face crumpling up. "It's like when Bambi's mommy dies. I don't like feeling like that."
“I know, but we have to talk when you feel bad,” Santana said cupping her daughter's cheek. “Tell me and we can talk, don't cry and scream.”
Brooklyn nodded with a sad little sniff. "Rachie's mads at me," she whispered. "'Cause I was mean to you."
“She's disappointed,” Santana corrected her, “She's sad because you're hurting and upset that you hurt me.”
"I don't like that word," she pouted. "Disa... disa-pointy. I don't like it. It means I'm bad and mean."
“Means you misbehaved.” She said wiping the tears away.
"Don't like it," Brooklyn huffed. "Rachie never coming home now?"
“She’s coming home with us, Brooklyn.” Santana sighed. “We wanted to surprise you for a present but you freaked out. Rachel thinks she should wait now till you finish your punishment for your behavior.”
Brooklyn's eyes widened and her lips trembled at the start of new tears. "She's gonna stay away cause I was bad?!"
“She thinks she should,” Santana sighed. “But, honestly it’s not fair for Rachel or Mommy... so she’s coming with us.”
"I almost maked Rachie stay away?" Big tears dripped down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Mommy! I'm sorry!"
Santana pulled her into her lap, “You got emotional... it’s okay to get upset. You just need to say sorry and try to not do it again.” She whispered and kissed her face. “I love you so much.”
"I love you, Mommy," Brooklyn sobbed into her shoulder. "I don't hate you. I'm sorry."
“I know. I know, baby.” Santana cooed, “Don’t cry okay? Please don’t.”
"Don't make Rachie go cause of me," she hiccupped taking a big breath to try and calm down.
“She’s not, I promise. Thats not what being a mom is. Rachel will learn that okay? We don’t leave our baby no matter what,” Santana kissed away her tears and kissed over her face.
She rubbed at her eyes tiredly, "Is Rachie really coming home with us, Mommy? Really really? No more works?"
“No more works.” she smiled and rubbed her back. “Do you want to go get your elephant and lay down while mommy finishes getting packed?”
She shook her head. "Hafta says sorries to Rachie. Made her disa-pointy by being bad so hafta says sorries."
“Yes you do. Why don't you go do that and get yourself some water and come back and help me pack, okay?” Santana said as she pushed back the girl's hair.
"Okay," she nodded, scooting carefully down off the bed on her belly before toddling out to find Rachel. "Rachie?" she called, looking for her.
"In here, sweetie," Rachel called back from the kitchen, her hands too full making small bags of snacks to come out.
Brooklyn looked nervous and stood at the edge of the kitchen and watched her.
Rachel gave her a little smile and nodded towards the chair by the counter. "Come on in, Brooklyn. Did you need something?"
“Please come home...” she whispered and climbed up on the chair. “Please.”
Rachel stopped what she was doing and turned to face Brooklyn. "Can you give me a reason why I should go home with someone who was mean to her mom?"
“I says I was sorry... I got sad and it hurt too much.” she sniffled, “Please don’t be mad.”
Rachel sighed. "I'm not mad, Brooklyn. I'm just very disappointed that you would tell your mom that you hate her just because you were upset. Don't you realize how important you are to her? Hate is such an ugly word and the sweet little girl I love would never use it against the people she loves."
“I know. I make a mistake... I’m sorry,” she whimpered and looked down.
"Do you understand why it was wrong? I know that you know we're disappointed in you, but do you understand?" Rachel asked softly, wanting nothing more than to pull the sad little girl into her arms and reassure her that everything would be okay.
“Cause... I hurt mommy’s feelings?” she said, “I was bad...”
Rachel shook her head, "No. Hurting your mom's feelings was bad, yes, but that's not why it was wrong. First, it was a lie because you don't hate your mom. But second, people like you and your mom and me, we're good with words. And we should never ever use them to hurt people." She crouched down beside the chair so she was eye to eye with the girl. "When your mom and I were younger, we used our words to hurt people and it just made us and everyone around us sad and angry at us. I said horrible things to your mom sometimes when I was angry and she said bad things to me too when we were younger and in school together. Because of that, we couldn't be friends for a long time and I didn't get to be there for her when you were born. Do you understand?"
“That I hurted you and mommy and lied... that I should never ever do it again?” she said softly.
"That's part of it," Rachel nodded. "But don't not do it just because we tell you to. Don't hurt people with your words because it's the right thing to do." She smiled at her, reaching out to brush a finger over her cheek and smooth away a stray tear track. "You're a very smart and clever little girl, just like your mom was when she was little. I want to see you grow into a strong and brave woman who uses her words to help people and make them stronger instead of hurt them and make them feel little, okay?"
She nodded, “Do... you still love me?” she asked softly.
Rachel let out a startled laugh, reaching out to pull Brooklyn into a tight hug, "Of course I still love you, Brooklyn! I'll always love you. Even if I'm unhappy about something or we argue, I promise I will always love you. No matter what. Isn't that what moms are supposed to do?"
She nodded and hugged her, “You come home with us? On the plane?”
Rachel nodded slowly, "I'll come home with you. Not because of your tantrum though! That was bad behaviour and I'm sure you'll receive a punishment for it when we get home. But, yes, I'm coming home with you."
“Okay,” she said softly and rubbed her eyes. “My head hurts,” she exclaimed sadly.
"That happens when you cry a lot," she pointed out, standing and getting Brooklyn a glass of water. "Here you go, sweetie. Drink this so you're not all dried out and you can go take a nap while I help your mom finish packing okay?"
Brooklyn drank her water and put the cup down before picking up her elephant and running down the hall to climb back on the bed.
Rachel came in a little later and tucked her in before going over to kiss Santana softly. "Are you okay?" she murmured, smiling up at her.
“I’m fine,” she shrugged as she finished packing Brooklyn’s bag. “I don’t love that she has my temper... too bad she couldn’t get Chang’s demeanor.”
"Oh, I don't know. Mike could blow up pretty good when the mood hit as I heard it," Rachel shrugged. "And neither of us have the most even keel when it comes to moods. If," she licked her lips with a shy smile, "if we have another child some day, you know it doesn't matter who carries it, they'll have some diva in them."
“My hair is gonna be grey by 25,” Santana pouted as she pulled the suitcase out to the living room.
"Never," Rachel laughed, "you'd scare it black again. And I'm here to help now, right?"
“Totally,” Santana said, “We can’t let her sleep for too long, she needs to sleep on the flight.”
"Oh, something tells me she'll sleep anyway. I think she's worn out from all that emotion earlier," Rachel sighed, wiping at her face. "She's not the only one either. And we'll be fighting jet lag once we get back home. I just want to fall in our bed and sleep for a week..."
Santana nodded, “Yeah... I just wanna sleep.” she yawned, “at least we can sleep for a few hours on the plane.”
"Mmm, I like the sound of that." Rachel smiled at her, "Mind if I borrow your shoulder as a pillow?"
“You may,” she nodded, “then home and crawling in bed...”
"Sounds amazing... and to think that I won't have to leave again until we get a finalized promotion schedule and then only for maybe a day or two at a time," she sighed with a happy smile at the thought.
Santana smiled, “Sounds nice.”
"Guess we get to find out how being a real family works, hmm?" she teased, wrapping her arms around Santana's neck and kissing her softly. "I think I kind of like the idea of waking up to you every morning."
Santana smiled, "I like the idea of this as well." She said as she rested her head on Rachel's.
They stood there for a long moment, content to just be together. Finally Rachel pulled away to smile up at her, "Quinn and Jay are giving us a ride to the airport and they'll ship the rest of my things home before they leave and turn the key over to the management firm. Let's finish packing so we can go home."
"Mine and Brooklyn's stuff is all done, just get your bag together." She said as she followed Rachel into the bedroom. She scooted onto the bed with Brooklyn and held her sleeping daughter as Rachel finished packing.
It was nearly nine forty-five before the seatbelt light flickered and died above them. Seeing it, Rachel smiled and nudged Brooklyn, point up at the light that was now off. The little girl had been pouting and unhappy because she didn't want to sleep in the seat by herself. When she saw the red light was out, she looked up at her mom pleadingly.
"Can I sit in Rachie's lap?" she asked softly, cranky from not getting enough sleep but still remembering how awful it had felt to have the women upset at her earlier.
"Yes, you may," Santana said as she picked up the airplane blanket off the girl and unbuckled her seatbelt. Brooklyn rubbed at her eyes and crawled over into Rachel's lap. Santana slid into the middle seat and put on her seatbelt as Brooklyn climbed up on Rachel's lap.
Rachel smiled as she cuddled the tired little girl against her chest, letting Santana tuck the airplane blanket it around them. She wrapped her arms securely around the tiny body and leaned over to rest her head on Santana's shoulder with a soft sigh. "This is how going home should be," she whispered.
"You're right," she smiled and pulled her daughter's hood up and over her hair. Santana yawned and curled her knees up to her chest and watched Rachel and Brooklyn for a moment. "I'm glad you're coming home."
"So am I," she whispered, rubbing Brooklyn's back as the little girl nestled her head against her chest and drifted off. "I've hated being away so long. Tell me about your new job?" she asked softly, still not happy with the fact they wouldn't be working together anymore.
Santana shrugged and hugged her legs, "It's boring..." She said, "I'm a secretary at Brooke's school... so you know. But it allows me to have the time I need off to be with her and no more daycare or babysitters."
Rachel nodded. "I can help with that now. It'll probably be at least a couple months before I can find another role, so you can get some alone time if you want." She rolled her head to smile up at Santana, "I don't mind spending time with our daughter and giving you a chance to go out and unwind after all."
"I like spending time with her... she's my best friend." Santana said softly, not really loving the idea of spending less time with her daughter.
"Santana," Rachel chided gently, "I never said you don't like spending time with her. I'm just offering to give you a chance to pamper yourself every now and then," she smiled up at her. "That can't be so bad, right? I think you'd enjoy the chance to go get a massage or take a yoga class or something once in a while."
"Maybe." Santana said softly, "She'll like having you around... I'll like having you around. I feel safer when you're here."
"Safer?" she asked gently. "I make you feel safer?"
Santana nodded, "Yes..." She said and closed her eyes, "I... I don't feel as nervous and anxious when you're around."
"Really?" Rachel bit her lip with a shy smile, " This may sound fairly foolish, but I think that's one of the nicest things anyone ever said to me."
"I can actually sleep when you're around..." She said softly, "It's hard to focus and not be nervous about everything when I'm alone."
"Then I suppose I should endeavour to be home more often," she whispered, snuggling into Santana's side with a pleased smile. "It's easier to sleep beside you than anywhere else after all so I imagine it would be in my best interests to stay with you," she teased gently.
"I agree." She whispered, "I don't like being alone."
"You're not," Rachel smiled, letting her eyes close. "Not any more."
She nodded and pulled a blanket over herself. "I just... Just stay with us okay? No matter want, please don't leave me."
"Not if I have any possible say in the matter," she whispered, reaching over to lace their fingers together.
She nodded and held Rachel's hand as she watched her girls fall asleep next to her. Santana sighed and rubbed her eyes under her glasses before she slipped on her headphones and stared blankly at the movie playing on the headrest in front of her.
The next day - after a lot more sleep than either woman had been expecting - the tiny family got bundled up and headed out to Central Park to take Brooklyn ice skating for her birthday. Rachel had mixed feelings towards the sport, but she was fairly certain that if she expressed her doubts she'd be teased mercilessly for it. So it wasn't until they were sitting on the benches at the rink putting their skates on that Santana had any idea that Rachel had no experience ice skating.
She bit her lip as she awkwardly laced the skate up, trying to keep her fingers away from the sharp blade on the bottom. "Are you sure this is a good idea, Santana?" she murmured, her mind full of the images of horrible accidents involving skate blades, ice and severed flesh.
"Yeah, it's fun." Santana smiled as she carefully tied Brooklyn's skates on and slid on her elbow pads, knee guards and wrist guards. "Brooklyn's been skating since two years ago?" She looked down at the little girl to check with her. "I mostly just carried her around, but she likes it."
"What if you fall?" she asked worriedly, tightening her laces too tight. "Can't you get severely hurt? I've heard of people getting killed while ice skating, Santana..."
Santana rolled her eyes and moved over to retie Rachel's skates. "Stop freaking out. A six year old can do it."
"Just because a six year old can do something does not mean I am possessed of the same skill set, Santana," Rachel huffed. "I simply cannot risk being severely injured at this juncture in my budding career," She insisted, not wanting to admit that she didn't want to look foolish in front of Brooklyn and Santana.
"I'll hold your hand." Santana said softly, "You'll be okay... if you don't wanna go you don't have to."
Rachel glanced at where Brooklyn was leaning on the railing watching everyone go bye with a big smile on her face. "I'm going to fall and look like a fool, Santana," she whispered, nervous. "I don't want to look bad in front of Brooklyn..."
"I fall on my ass all the time." Santana replied, "It's part of the fun. You'll be fine, okay?" Santana said softly and kissed her red cheeks. "You'll be fine."
"Are you sure?" she asked uncertainly, looking up at Santana through her lashes. "You'll hold my hand?"
"Yes," Santana rolled her eyes, "I'll hold your hand and make sure you don't fall and break your talent."
"I'm more concerned with embarrassing myself in front of Brooklyn at the moment," Rachel huffed, getting shakily to her feet with Santana's help. "But thank you for the vote of confidence. Maybe I'll just stay by the wall."
"Probably for the best." Santana smiled and brought Rachel over to the edge of the rink. "Brooklyn, remember hold onto the wall."
Rachel rolled her eyes and stepped shakily onto the ice. Even after all these years, she still didn't appreciate feeling like she was being made fun off, especially when she'd admitted being nervous about something. Her legs trembled as she fought to keep her balance - no matter what anyone said it was nothing like skating with inlines in her opinion - as she inched along the wall, hands white knuckled on the rail.
Brooklyn was laughing happily as she skated near the wall, alternating between skating around her mom and going a little ahead. The very picture of a sweet and carefree little girl having a good time with her mom. It gave Rachel an unpleasant pang in her stomach to realize her inability to skate was probably impairing their fun.
Santana skated behind Rachel and slid her arms around the woman's waist, "I got you," Santana whispered as she held her tightly.
Rachel glanced over her shoulder at her and bit her lip, "Maybe I should have stayed off the ice. You and Brooklyn would probably have more fun not having to worry about me. I'm not any good at this after all..."
"Neither is she," Santana said. "It's something you've never done before though." She said with a smile. "You're doing fine."
"I can't believe you actually got me out here," she shook her head with a rueful smile, relaxing just slightly into Santana's arms as they skated slowly. "Quinn tried for years and I never would."
"I didn't even have to promise you sex." Santana smiled as she slowly moved with Rachel while keeping one eye on Brooklyn as she carefully moved around.
"Perhaps you're simply that good of a negotiator," Rachel teased. "Though, I would think you wouldn't have to promise sex. I mean, wouldn't you call that a given by this stage in our relationship?"
"True, as as you know Brooklyn is away tomorrow night at Lily's house," Santana teased before pulling away remembering the possible photographers, she kept a hand on Rachel's back as she watched Brooklyn.
Rachel sighed at the pulling away, knowing the likely reason. "I hate that we have to worry about people seeing us together," she murmured. "I can't wait until this silly movie is released and I can actually hold your hand or hug or kiss you in public like a normal couple if we want. It's insulting that we're being forced to hide like this..."
"Yeah... but it's okay," she smiled before helping Rachel back to the wall and skating over to Brooklyn. "Having fun little one?"
"Uh-huh! I loves skating, Mommy!" she beamed up at Santana as the woman came over to take her hand. "Rachie doesn't skate so good though."
"She's never done it before! She's just nervous." Santana smiled, "Where do you wanna have a special birthday dinner tonight?"
Brooklyn thought about it for a moment then brightened, "Can we have pizza? The place with special pizza for Momma?"
"I made you a special Brooklyn cake." She smiled and skated backwards to face the girl, "And I made Rachel cupcakes."
"A special cake just for me?" She wasn't sure her smile could get much brighter as she surged forward to tackle-hug her mom around the waist. "Special cake and Rachie's home! Best birthday ever, Mommy!"
"I aim to please," she said, as she tried to regain her footing as they lapped around the rink. "think I should tell Rachel about when I first met you at dinner?"
"Story about how I'm your special gift?" Brooklyn smiled up at her. "I'd like that! Then Rachie can know too!"
“Let's go see if she's okay.” Santana smiled and moved towards her and caught her as she started to tip over. “I got you.”
Rachel stiffened when she felt someone grab her around the waist only to relax as she realized it was Santana. "Oh, Santana, thank goodness!" She laughed in relief, "I'm afraid you don't want to know what I first thought when you grabbed me like that. Are you having a good time, Brooklyn?"
“Yes! Thank you for coming!” She chirped as she skated around them.
She laughed, leaning on Santana for support, "Where else would I go, silly? My family's here after all, right?"
“Can we go have hot cocoa and dinner now?” Brooklyn asked as she looked up at her mom. Santana nodded as she led the two off the ice and to the bench and got their bag with their shoes. She helped Brooklyn off with her skates and on with her boots before doing her own.
Rachel fumbled with her skates - nearly breaking the laces on one in frustration before she finally got the double knot Santana had put in it undone - but finally got them off and her boots back on. "Oh, sweet safety," she sighed happily, taking everyone's skates over to the rental place. "It's so nice to not have the hiss hiss of razor sharp death over ice ringing in my ears anymore," she teased, coming back over.
“You are insane,” Santana teased as helped Brooklyn get her jacket and backpack out of the locker they'd rented.
"I may be insane, but I'm safe," Rachel smirked. "So, where are we taking our special girl for dinner?"
"Pizza!" Brooklyn cheered, scurrying over and jumping at Rachel - who just barely managed to catch her with a mildly panicked expression at the surprise tackle. "Then home for special cakes!" She wrapped her arms around Rachel's neck and kissed her cheek with a happy smile, "Momma's home so I already has best present."
"You're sweet," Rachel smiled, reaching up to tap her nose.
Santana smiled and escorted the two smaller girls to the restaurant a few blocks away. They headed to the back and slid into a booth with Brooklyn as Santana ordered two hot chocolates and a hot apple cider for Rachel.
"I will never understand your fixation with hot chocolate beverages to accompany pizza, Santana," Rachel teased, pulling out a fresh box of crayons from her purse and a few sheets of paper to occupy Brooklyn as they waited for their food.
“Tradition?” Santana shrugged, “Brooklyn likes hot cocoa when it’s cold out and it’s tasty.”
"And you just like drinking chocolate," she suggested, scribbling something on a piece of paper and passing it to Santana.
“This is true.” She smiled and looked down at the paper, I ❤ You. Santana smiled and looked up shyly before drawing a flower on it for her and sliding it back.
Rachel grinned at her. "You're adorable. What are you drawing, Brooklyn?" she asked, looking over at the picture Brooklyn was working on industriously, "Is that a kitty?"
“Yes,” She smiled, “It’s a kitty! I’m excited I get to play with Lily and her sister's kitty tomorrow!”
"You like kitties, huh?"
“They soft and fluffy,” She wiggled, “Like Mommy!” She giggled as Santana scowled.
“Not a cat.” Santana said with a grumble.
“You sleeps and curl in a ball. You like a kitty, Mommy!”
"You'd be adorable as a kitty," Rachel teased, squeezing her knee under the table. "And sometimes it seems like you can sleep anywhere like one. You also adore attention."
“Don’t like you two right now.” She pouted as she crossed her arms.
"Oh?" Rachel raised a teasing brow, "So I suppose you wouldn't like special attention tomorrow? Since you don't like me right now..."
“We will see..” she said stated. “Not... a cat.”
"So you don't want to be pet?" Rachel smiled at her, all wide eyed innocence.
Santana blushed and nudged Rachel’s leg under the table, “Trouble...”
She snickered as the waiter came up to take their orders. Once he left, she turned back to Brooklyn. "So, tell me about Lily's kitty. What do you like about her?"
“She’s soft and purrs so loud!” Brooklyn exclaimed, “She’s like a little fuzzy thing and she licks my nose.”
"Is she still a baby kitty? Or is she all grown?" Rachel asked curiously.
“She’s big.” Brooklyn replied, “I still likes her.”
"I see," she nodded. "Does Lily take care of the kitty or her mom? Kitties take a lot of care and are a big responsibility after all."
“Lily’s sister is big, she’s twelve.” Brooklyn explained, “Lily is seven, so she helps a lot with feeding and cleaning.”
"Mmm, twelve," Rachel mused, glancing at Santana. "That sounds like big enough for a pet, don't you think, Santana? Lily's mom probably had to think a lot to decide that would be a good age."
“Yep,” Santana said, “But, every family is different.” she took a sip of her cocoa. “But, Lily can let you play with her family’s cat and until you get big enough to have one.”
Brooklyn pouted, "But I'm big, Mommy. I'm six!"
“Yes, I know. But, we are not ready to have a kitten and mommy told you not until you’re bigger.”
She pouted, "No fair."
"Brooklyn, you need to be bigger first," Rachel pointed out gently. "Lily has her big sister to help and you're our only little girl. And besides, I'm not sure if we can have pets yet in our home. I'll have to check and that'll take a while."
The girl pouted, “Fine... I understands.”
"If it's any consolation, I'll be home more for a while," she offered. "I only have to fly out sometimes for a day or two to be interviewed on TV about the movie right now."
“Really!” Brooklyn smiled, “Yay!” She clapped as the pizza came. Santana got a slice for the little girl and cut it and blew on it for her. When she slid it over to Brooklyn the girl smiled and blew on it herself. “Thank you, mommy.”
“Welcome babe.” Santana smiled and took her own piece out.
"I'm still amazed that this place offers a vegan friendly pie," Rachel mused, preparing her own small pizza.
"Good place with foods for everyone!" Brooklyn smiled across the table, her face smeared with tomato sauce.
"I guess so," Rachel laughed, reaching over to wipe a drip away before it could get on the girl's shirt.
Later that night found them curled together in the middle of Rachel and Santana's bed with Brooklyn nestled down between them happily.
"Mommy," she yawned, warm and happy. "time for my story, please?"
Santana smiled and kissed her daughter's head. “The first time that I ever saw your face was when the doctor put the magic ultrasound wand on my tummy. I heard your heartbeat and watched your little head while you were in my tummy,” she started. She told this story to Brooklyn every year on her birthday. “I was so in love with you from the moment I felt you move, but when I got to see you...” she smiled, remembering her daughter's image on the ultrasound in the dark clinic she had to drive to Dayton, Ohio to go to her appointments at. “So beautiful.”
"Was she tiny?" Rachel whispered, hearing the story for the first time. "I bet she was so tiny and precious as a baby..."
The young mother nodded, “When I went into labour and got put in the hospital to have you,” she bopped Brooklyn’s nose, “Mommy was so excited to meet you.” Santana left out how scared and the fact she was crying and screaming she wasn’t ready. “I just knew everything would be better once I got to hold you in my arms.”
"I wish I could have been there," Rachel whispered as Brooklyn smiled up at Santana and hugged her. "I wish I could have at least held your hand though that, Santana."
"You're here now, Rachie," Brooklyn pointed out, grinning at her, tugging on her hand.
Rachel smirked, "So I am, sweetie."
“After many, many hours... The nurse handed me my little gross looking bundle of Brooklyn.”
"I was not gross!" Brooklyn pouted. "You said I was your special gift!"
Rachel laughed, "Babies are messy when they're first born. But they're still perfect."
Santana laughed and kissed her daughter’s nose. “You were slimy and covered in grossness but you were all mine. Once they cleaned you off, they laid you in my arms and you opened your big brown eyes and looked at me.” She blinked away the tears that came to her eyes at the memory. “You looked at me like you knew me.”
"You're my mommy," Brooklyn pointed out as if it was obvious. "I grew in you so I knowed you."
“I know,” she smiled, “but I never knew that babies could know their mommies that fast.” She cooed, “That I could love you that much.”
"Brooklyn's special," Rachel murmured, brushing her fingers through the little girl's hair. "I never knew I could love a little girl as much as I love you after all," she admitted, with a shy smile. "Even if I didn't get to be there to meet you when your mom did."
Santana nodded, “Brooklyn, you are a special present to me and now Rachel and that’s why we love you so much.”
"I'm the best present!" she cried happily, wiggling between them. "Do I get to sleeps with you and Momma?"
“You are my best surprise,” Santana smiled and pulled the blankets up over her. “And yes, birthdays get special snuggles.”
"Yay," Brooklyn cheered sleepily. "Everyone's home and everyone loves me. I'm lucky and happy. Best birthday ever, Mommies."
Santana just chuckled and curled into her daughter's side, “Go to sleep, little one.”
She yawned again, closing her eyes and snuggling into her mom's chest. "Love you."
"We love you too, sweetie," Rachel whispered kissing the top of her head and wrapping her arm around her and Santana. "Good night, Brooklyn. Good night, Santana."
Chapter Thirty-Three
Author: Sio and Maura
Artist: raingoddess2040
Type: AU Post On My Way, future femslash with a het side pairing
Word Count: 195,092
Rating: NC-17 for later chapters
Characters/Pairings: Rachel/Santana, Quinn/OMC, past Quinn/Rachel, Santana/Brittany, near miss Quinn/Santana, Quinn/Rachel
Warnings (highlight to read): Explicit sexual content in later chapters, talk of presumed non-con (no actual), minor off-screen violence, strong language, external/general homophobia, child (not kink), parenting (not kink)
Summary: Six years ago, Santana Lopez disappeared following graduation. The costs for therapy and rehab to get out of her chair, made Quinn Fabray realize she couldn't have Yale, so she went with her second acceptance - NYU. Rachel Berry missed out on NYADA but made it into Tisch, only to find herself as roommates with Quinn after tearing herself away from Finn to go to New York. Eventually a gin soaked night led to a tormented relationship that eventually was surrendered to save their fading friendship. When Rachel finally managed to land a Broadway lead under Quinn's management, they were shocked by who showed up for the latest opening as Rachel's assistant.
What neither of them had ever expected was that she'd have a child with her. One she'd ran away to New York to be able to have without the shame Quinn had gone through.
Chapter 32
Santana came over to her daughter who was lying petulantly on the middle of the king sized bed in the rental house that Rachel had been residing in. It was nearly one in the afternoon and they had a nine o'clock flight, meaning they had to get to the airport by six thirty at the latest. Brooklyn had just taken a bath and was protesting the very idea of leaving Los Angeles. The following day was her birthday and she wanted to spend it with Rachel and Santana. She was upset at the notion of going home without half of her family and was protesting every second of Santana's packing through the day.
"Brooklyn," Santana sighed, her patience being tested with every passing minute. "Come on, dry off so we can get your pajamas on."
"No," she pouted, pulling the towel tighter around her so it couldn't be used to dry her hair. "I don't wanna leave."
"Brooke, we need to go home. I told you we'd be leaving on the 27th and it's the 27th." Santana sighed, "Remember you have to go to Lily's for a sleepover on the 29th and tomorrow is your birthday."
"I want to stay with Momma!" she cried, rolling over away from Santana, "I wanna be with Momma on my birthday! I don't wanna go to stupid Lily's! I don't like her!"
"Don't say that." Santana said as she went to the suitcases and pulled out a pair of flannel pajama pants, a sweatshirt and a tshirt with tinkerbell on it. "You do like her. Stop being cranky please and sit up."
"No! I want Momma!" She started crying, curling into a little ball on the bed. "I don't wanna leave Momma again, Mommy. I hate leaving Momma. She's gone and I miss her so much!"
"We need to head home, baby." Santana sighed and sat down rubbing her daughter's back. "We need to get up and get dressed. Please, Brooklyn."
"No, Mommy! I don't wanna go!" She sobbed into the blanket, clutching it. "No!"
Rachel poked her head into the room worriedly at the sounds of Brooklyn's screams echoing through the condo, "Is everything okay?"
"Not really." Santana sighed, "Brooklyn Rain," She exclaimed, "You need to take a deep breath and sit up. You are six years old and you need to act like a big girl okay?"
"No!" she sobbed, burying her face in the blanket. "You're a bad mommy! No take me from Momma! I want Momma! I hate you!"
Rachel looked shocked at the outburst. "Brooklyn! That's a terrible thing to say to your mom! Why are you being like this?"
Brooklyn took in a shaky breath at the sound of Rachel's voice and turned a tear-streaked face to her. "I don't wanna go away and leave you alone again! Mommy's making me! She's bad!"
Santana looked down and stood up. She had never been spoken to by her daughter like that before, she took a shaky breath before walking out of the room and into the bathroom.
"Santana," Rachel called weakly as she watched her walk off. "Brooklyn Rain Lopez, look what you did!" she scolded, going over to the bed. "You hurt your mom! How could you do that? She loves you so much and you're saying such awful, hateful things to her." She shook her head, disappointed, "That's not the Brooklyn I know and love. Why are you being bad and so mean to your mom?"
Brooklyn broke out into harder sobs. "No, Rachie!" she cried. "Don't make me go."
"Why shouldn't I when you're being hateful and mean to your mom who loves you more than anything?" Rachel asked with a frown. "My Brooklyn would never behave like that. She would never say such awful things and make her mom upset like you just did. Maybe it was a bad idea wanting to try and be your mom too if you're going to be awful to your mom because of it."
“You can’t!” she gasped. “You can’t stop being my mom! I just got you!” she screamed. “You said you’d never leave me!”
"I never said I was leaving you, Brooklyn, but you are being entirely cruel to your mom and it is not at all warranted," Rachel frowned, unhappy with the entire situation. "And you know that. You are being willful and mean and there is nothing that disappoints me more than to see you behave like this."
“I want you to spend my birthday with me!” she shivered. “Not fair.”
"Things aren't always fair, sweetie," Rachel pointed out. "And when you throw a fit like this and make your mom feel bad, then I can't try and do what I wanted to for your birthday because you're being bad and upsetting your mom and I simply cannot reward that behaviour."
She pouted, “I don’t want to go home without you.”
"Well, perhaps if you'd behaved like the big girl you and I both know you are instead of throwing a tantrum like a baby and being cruel to your mom, that might not have been necessary. Now, well," Rachel shrugged, clearly unhappy with Brooklyn, "I just don't know if that's possible anymore."
“I’m sorry,” the little girl whimpered, as she watched Santana come back in the room with red eyes. “Mommy...”
“Don’t,” Santana cut her off. “Dressed, now,” she said with with a stern tone. “Don’t make me tell you again.”
Her tiny face crumpled but she nodded and scooted off the bed to start wriggling into her clothes with her shoulders slumped.
"Santana," Rachel whispered, reaching a hand to her wrist, "I'm sorry about all this... I'll... I'll change my plans. I know we... you can't reward this behaviour." Her shoulders slumped and she turned to walk out of the room quietly, feeling like the entire situation was her fault.
The young mother sighed, “Brooklyn, brush your hair and teeth then go back and sit on the bed.” she instructed before following Rachel out. “This is not your fault. She’s being a brat.”
"My fault or not, if I go home with you now, it'll look like we're rewarding her tantrum by giving her what she wants." Rachel sighed, rubbing her arms, "I was so looking forward to going home with you too..."
“You can still come home with us... don’t let her behavior ruin your plans. She just loses her mp3 player and gets time out.” Santana shrugged.
"But, Santana, my coming home with you is why she was throwing the tantrum in the first place, not because she wanted the mp3 player and you wouldn't let her have it." Rachel frowned, frustrated. She rubbed at her face, "I hate that she said such a horrible thing to you because of me. I... Maybe we shouldn't have tried to do this co-parenting thing so soon? I mean, could her misbehaviour be inspired by that?"
“I guess all parents get played against each other...” Santana said softly, “I just never had to deal with it before...”
"I'm sorry I'm the cause of it," Rachel smiled sadly. "You know she didn't mean it, right? What she said?"
Santana looked up and tried to ignore the prickle of tears, “Doesn’t matter.”
"It does matter," she insisted, wrapping her arms around Santana and hugging her tight. "It was cruel of her to say that and I hope she'll apologize when she calms down. We love you, Santana. More than anything. I promise we do."
“She’s a little kid, she wasn’t meaning to be cruel.” Santana sighed, “and I know... “
"Being a little kid is no excuse," Rachel insisted. "She knows better. You raised her better. I felt so incredibly disappointed in her when I heard those words leave her mouth."
“Me too.” Santana sighed, “Are you coming home or not?”
"Of course I'm coming home," she reassured her. "I just... I want her to apologize to you for what she said and start acting like the big girl we all know she is. I want to fly out with you, but if I have to, I'll take the next flight."
“She’ll be fine.” Santana sighed, “Just... can you please make some snacks for the trip while I talk to my kid?”
"Yeah," she nodded. "I can do that. Are," she hesitated licking her lips and looking up at Santana uncertainly, "are we okay?"
“Yes,” Santana assured her, “Right now I need to deal with my kid and what seems to be the first showing of my attitude in her.” She pouted and rubbed her face.
Rachel laughed softly. "You're welcome to blame it on my influence if it'd make you feel better," she offered with a wry smile. "After all, I still have my diva moments on occasion and we are trying to... co-parent I believe the word is."
“This is gonna take some getting used to,” she said, “I’m gonna go talk to her...” Santana slipped back into the room to see Brooklyn sitting on the middle on the bed playing with the tips of her hair. She watched her small daughter for a moment before walking over as sliding onto the bed to sit cross legged across from her.
Brooklyn glanced up at her looking sad and scared for a moment before looking back down at her lap. "I'm sorry for saying bad things, Mommy," she whispered.
“Thank you,” Santana said softly as she took her daughter's hands into her hands and played with her fingers. “You hurt my feelings, though.”
"I'm sorry," she whispered, watching Santana's hands move across hers. "I was sad and mad. I don't wanna leave Rachie." She glanced up scared, "She's not gonna stop being my Momma cause I was bad is she?"
“No, that's not how having parents works...” Santana said, “Like how I’ll never stop loving you even though you hurt my feelings and disappointed me a little bit.”
"I didn't mean to," she sniffed. "I just don't want Rachie to be far away no more. It's too sad and makes my chest hurt when we have to say bye and go away."
“I know, but you can’t lash out okay?” She said as she squeezed her daughter's hand, “You have to learn to not get angry or cry when you are upset.”
"But it's so sad, Mommy," she sniffed, her little face crumpling up. "It's like when Bambi's mommy dies. I don't like feeling like that."
“I know, but we have to talk when you feel bad,” Santana said cupping her daughter's cheek. “Tell me and we can talk, don't cry and scream.”
Brooklyn nodded with a sad little sniff. "Rachie's mads at me," she whispered. "'Cause I was mean to you."
“She's disappointed,” Santana corrected her, “She's sad because you're hurting and upset that you hurt me.”
"I don't like that word," she pouted. "Disa... disa-pointy. I don't like it. It means I'm bad and mean."
“Means you misbehaved.” She said wiping the tears away.
"Don't like it," Brooklyn huffed. "Rachie never coming home now?"
“She’s coming home with us, Brooklyn.” Santana sighed. “We wanted to surprise you for a present but you freaked out. Rachel thinks she should wait now till you finish your punishment for your behavior.”
Brooklyn's eyes widened and her lips trembled at the start of new tears. "She's gonna stay away cause I was bad?!"
“She thinks she should,” Santana sighed. “But, honestly it’s not fair for Rachel or Mommy... so she’s coming with us.”
"I almost maked Rachie stay away?" Big tears dripped down her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Mommy! I'm sorry!"
Santana pulled her into her lap, “You got emotional... it’s okay to get upset. You just need to say sorry and try to not do it again.” She whispered and kissed her face. “I love you so much.”
"I love you, Mommy," Brooklyn sobbed into her shoulder. "I don't hate you. I'm sorry."
“I know. I know, baby.” Santana cooed, “Don’t cry okay? Please don’t.”
"Don't make Rachie go cause of me," she hiccupped taking a big breath to try and calm down.
“She’s not, I promise. Thats not what being a mom is. Rachel will learn that okay? We don’t leave our baby no matter what,” Santana kissed away her tears and kissed over her face.
She rubbed at her eyes tiredly, "Is Rachie really coming home with us, Mommy? Really really? No more works?"
“No more works.” she smiled and rubbed her back. “Do you want to go get your elephant and lay down while mommy finishes getting packed?”
She shook her head. "Hafta says sorries to Rachie. Made her disa-pointy by being bad so hafta says sorries."
“Yes you do. Why don't you go do that and get yourself some water and come back and help me pack, okay?” Santana said as she pushed back the girl's hair.
"Okay," she nodded, scooting carefully down off the bed on her belly before toddling out to find Rachel. "Rachie?" she called, looking for her.
"In here, sweetie," Rachel called back from the kitchen, her hands too full making small bags of snacks to come out.
Brooklyn looked nervous and stood at the edge of the kitchen and watched her.
Rachel gave her a little smile and nodded towards the chair by the counter. "Come on in, Brooklyn. Did you need something?"
“Please come home...” she whispered and climbed up on the chair. “Please.”
Rachel stopped what she was doing and turned to face Brooklyn. "Can you give me a reason why I should go home with someone who was mean to her mom?"
“I says I was sorry... I got sad and it hurt too much.” she sniffled, “Please don’t be mad.”
Rachel sighed. "I'm not mad, Brooklyn. I'm just very disappointed that you would tell your mom that you hate her just because you were upset. Don't you realize how important you are to her? Hate is such an ugly word and the sweet little girl I love would never use it against the people she loves."
“I know. I make a mistake... I’m sorry,” she whimpered and looked down.
"Do you understand why it was wrong? I know that you know we're disappointed in you, but do you understand?" Rachel asked softly, wanting nothing more than to pull the sad little girl into her arms and reassure her that everything would be okay.
“Cause... I hurt mommy’s feelings?” she said, “I was bad...”
Rachel shook her head, "No. Hurting your mom's feelings was bad, yes, but that's not why it was wrong. First, it was a lie because you don't hate your mom. But second, people like you and your mom and me, we're good with words. And we should never ever use them to hurt people." She crouched down beside the chair so she was eye to eye with the girl. "When your mom and I were younger, we used our words to hurt people and it just made us and everyone around us sad and angry at us. I said horrible things to your mom sometimes when I was angry and she said bad things to me too when we were younger and in school together. Because of that, we couldn't be friends for a long time and I didn't get to be there for her when you were born. Do you understand?"
“That I hurted you and mommy and lied... that I should never ever do it again?” she said softly.
"That's part of it," Rachel nodded. "But don't not do it just because we tell you to. Don't hurt people with your words because it's the right thing to do." She smiled at her, reaching out to brush a finger over her cheek and smooth away a stray tear track. "You're a very smart and clever little girl, just like your mom was when she was little. I want to see you grow into a strong and brave woman who uses her words to help people and make them stronger instead of hurt them and make them feel little, okay?"
She nodded, “Do... you still love me?” she asked softly.
Rachel let out a startled laugh, reaching out to pull Brooklyn into a tight hug, "Of course I still love you, Brooklyn! I'll always love you. Even if I'm unhappy about something or we argue, I promise I will always love you. No matter what. Isn't that what moms are supposed to do?"
She nodded and hugged her, “You come home with us? On the plane?”
Rachel nodded slowly, "I'll come home with you. Not because of your tantrum though! That was bad behaviour and I'm sure you'll receive a punishment for it when we get home. But, yes, I'm coming home with you."
“Okay,” she said softly and rubbed her eyes. “My head hurts,” she exclaimed sadly.
"That happens when you cry a lot," she pointed out, standing and getting Brooklyn a glass of water. "Here you go, sweetie. Drink this so you're not all dried out and you can go take a nap while I help your mom finish packing okay?"
Brooklyn drank her water and put the cup down before picking up her elephant and running down the hall to climb back on the bed.
Rachel came in a little later and tucked her in before going over to kiss Santana softly. "Are you okay?" she murmured, smiling up at her.
“I’m fine,” she shrugged as she finished packing Brooklyn’s bag. “I don’t love that she has my temper... too bad she couldn’t get Chang’s demeanor.”
"Oh, I don't know. Mike could blow up pretty good when the mood hit as I heard it," Rachel shrugged. "And neither of us have the most even keel when it comes to moods. If," she licked her lips with a shy smile, "if we have another child some day, you know it doesn't matter who carries it, they'll have some diva in them."
“My hair is gonna be grey by 25,” Santana pouted as she pulled the suitcase out to the living room.
"Never," Rachel laughed, "you'd scare it black again. And I'm here to help now, right?"
“Totally,” Santana said, “We can’t let her sleep for too long, she needs to sleep on the flight.”
"Oh, something tells me she'll sleep anyway. I think she's worn out from all that emotion earlier," Rachel sighed, wiping at her face. "She's not the only one either. And we'll be fighting jet lag once we get back home. I just want to fall in our bed and sleep for a week..."
Santana nodded, “Yeah... I just wanna sleep.” she yawned, “at least we can sleep for a few hours on the plane.”
"Mmm, I like the sound of that." Rachel smiled at her, "Mind if I borrow your shoulder as a pillow?"
“You may,” she nodded, “then home and crawling in bed...”
"Sounds amazing... and to think that I won't have to leave again until we get a finalized promotion schedule and then only for maybe a day or two at a time," she sighed with a happy smile at the thought.
Santana smiled, “Sounds nice.”
"Guess we get to find out how being a real family works, hmm?" she teased, wrapping her arms around Santana's neck and kissing her softly. "I think I kind of like the idea of waking up to you every morning."
Santana smiled, "I like the idea of this as well." She said as she rested her head on Rachel's.
They stood there for a long moment, content to just be together. Finally Rachel pulled away to smile up at her, "Quinn and Jay are giving us a ride to the airport and they'll ship the rest of my things home before they leave and turn the key over to the management firm. Let's finish packing so we can go home."
"Mine and Brooklyn's stuff is all done, just get your bag together." She said as she followed Rachel into the bedroom. She scooted onto the bed with Brooklyn and held her sleeping daughter as Rachel finished packing.
It was nearly nine forty-five before the seatbelt light flickered and died above them. Seeing it, Rachel smiled and nudged Brooklyn, point up at the light that was now off. The little girl had been pouting and unhappy because she didn't want to sleep in the seat by herself. When she saw the red light was out, she looked up at her mom pleadingly.
"Can I sit in Rachie's lap?" she asked softly, cranky from not getting enough sleep but still remembering how awful it had felt to have the women upset at her earlier.
"Yes, you may," Santana said as she picked up the airplane blanket off the girl and unbuckled her seatbelt. Brooklyn rubbed at her eyes and crawled over into Rachel's lap. Santana slid into the middle seat and put on her seatbelt as Brooklyn climbed up on Rachel's lap.
Rachel smiled as she cuddled the tired little girl against her chest, letting Santana tuck the airplane blanket it around them. She wrapped her arms securely around the tiny body and leaned over to rest her head on Santana's shoulder with a soft sigh. "This is how going home should be," she whispered.
"You're right," she smiled and pulled her daughter's hood up and over her hair. Santana yawned and curled her knees up to her chest and watched Rachel and Brooklyn for a moment. "I'm glad you're coming home."
"So am I," she whispered, rubbing Brooklyn's back as the little girl nestled her head against her chest and drifted off. "I've hated being away so long. Tell me about your new job?" she asked softly, still not happy with the fact they wouldn't be working together anymore.
Santana shrugged and hugged her legs, "It's boring..." She said, "I'm a secretary at Brooke's school... so you know. But it allows me to have the time I need off to be with her and no more daycare or babysitters."
Rachel nodded. "I can help with that now. It'll probably be at least a couple months before I can find another role, so you can get some alone time if you want." She rolled her head to smile up at Santana, "I don't mind spending time with our daughter and giving you a chance to go out and unwind after all."
"I like spending time with her... she's my best friend." Santana said softly, not really loving the idea of spending less time with her daughter.
"Santana," Rachel chided gently, "I never said you don't like spending time with her. I'm just offering to give you a chance to pamper yourself every now and then," she smiled up at her. "That can't be so bad, right? I think you'd enjoy the chance to go get a massage or take a yoga class or something once in a while."
"Maybe." Santana said softly, "She'll like having you around... I'll like having you around. I feel safer when you're here."
"Safer?" she asked gently. "I make you feel safer?"
Santana nodded, "Yes..." She said and closed her eyes, "I... I don't feel as nervous and anxious when you're around."
"Really?" Rachel bit her lip with a shy smile, " This may sound fairly foolish, but I think that's one of the nicest things anyone ever said to me."
"I can actually sleep when you're around..." She said softly, "It's hard to focus and not be nervous about everything when I'm alone."
"Then I suppose I should endeavour to be home more often," she whispered, snuggling into Santana's side with a pleased smile. "It's easier to sleep beside you than anywhere else after all so I imagine it would be in my best interests to stay with you," she teased gently.
"I agree." She whispered, "I don't like being alone."
"You're not," Rachel smiled, letting her eyes close. "Not any more."
She nodded and pulled a blanket over herself. "I just... Just stay with us okay? No matter want, please don't leave me."
"Not if I have any possible say in the matter," she whispered, reaching over to lace their fingers together.
She nodded and held Rachel's hand as she watched her girls fall asleep next to her. Santana sighed and rubbed her eyes under her glasses before she slipped on her headphones and stared blankly at the movie playing on the headrest in front of her.
The next day - after a lot more sleep than either woman had been expecting - the tiny family got bundled up and headed out to Central Park to take Brooklyn ice skating for her birthday. Rachel had mixed feelings towards the sport, but she was fairly certain that if she expressed her doubts she'd be teased mercilessly for it. So it wasn't until they were sitting on the benches at the rink putting their skates on that Santana had any idea that Rachel had no experience ice skating.
She bit her lip as she awkwardly laced the skate up, trying to keep her fingers away from the sharp blade on the bottom. "Are you sure this is a good idea, Santana?" she murmured, her mind full of the images of horrible accidents involving skate blades, ice and severed flesh.
"Yeah, it's fun." Santana smiled as she carefully tied Brooklyn's skates on and slid on her elbow pads, knee guards and wrist guards. "Brooklyn's been skating since two years ago?" She looked down at the little girl to check with her. "I mostly just carried her around, but she likes it."
"What if you fall?" she asked worriedly, tightening her laces too tight. "Can't you get severely hurt? I've heard of people getting killed while ice skating, Santana..."
Santana rolled her eyes and moved over to retie Rachel's skates. "Stop freaking out. A six year old can do it."
"Just because a six year old can do something does not mean I am possessed of the same skill set, Santana," Rachel huffed. "I simply cannot risk being severely injured at this juncture in my budding career," She insisted, not wanting to admit that she didn't want to look foolish in front of Brooklyn and Santana.
"I'll hold your hand." Santana said softly, "You'll be okay... if you don't wanna go you don't have to."
Rachel glanced at where Brooklyn was leaning on the railing watching everyone go bye with a big smile on her face. "I'm going to fall and look like a fool, Santana," she whispered, nervous. "I don't want to look bad in front of Brooklyn..."
"I fall on my ass all the time." Santana replied, "It's part of the fun. You'll be fine, okay?" Santana said softly and kissed her red cheeks. "You'll be fine."
"Are you sure?" she asked uncertainly, looking up at Santana through her lashes. "You'll hold my hand?"
"Yes," Santana rolled her eyes, "I'll hold your hand and make sure you don't fall and break your talent."
"I'm more concerned with embarrassing myself in front of Brooklyn at the moment," Rachel huffed, getting shakily to her feet with Santana's help. "But thank you for the vote of confidence. Maybe I'll just stay by the wall."
"Probably for the best." Santana smiled and brought Rachel over to the edge of the rink. "Brooklyn, remember hold onto the wall."
Rachel rolled her eyes and stepped shakily onto the ice. Even after all these years, she still didn't appreciate feeling like she was being made fun off, especially when she'd admitted being nervous about something. Her legs trembled as she fought to keep her balance - no matter what anyone said it was nothing like skating with inlines in her opinion - as she inched along the wall, hands white knuckled on the rail.
Brooklyn was laughing happily as she skated near the wall, alternating between skating around her mom and going a little ahead. The very picture of a sweet and carefree little girl having a good time with her mom. It gave Rachel an unpleasant pang in her stomach to realize her inability to skate was probably impairing their fun.
Santana skated behind Rachel and slid her arms around the woman's waist, "I got you," Santana whispered as she held her tightly.
Rachel glanced over her shoulder at her and bit her lip, "Maybe I should have stayed off the ice. You and Brooklyn would probably have more fun not having to worry about me. I'm not any good at this after all..."
"Neither is she," Santana said. "It's something you've never done before though." She said with a smile. "You're doing fine."
"I can't believe you actually got me out here," she shook her head with a rueful smile, relaxing just slightly into Santana's arms as they skated slowly. "Quinn tried for years and I never would."
"I didn't even have to promise you sex." Santana smiled as she slowly moved with Rachel while keeping one eye on Brooklyn as she carefully moved around.
"Perhaps you're simply that good of a negotiator," Rachel teased. "Though, I would think you wouldn't have to promise sex. I mean, wouldn't you call that a given by this stage in our relationship?"
"True, as as you know Brooklyn is away tomorrow night at Lily's house," Santana teased before pulling away remembering the possible photographers, she kept a hand on Rachel's back as she watched Brooklyn.
Rachel sighed at the pulling away, knowing the likely reason. "I hate that we have to worry about people seeing us together," she murmured. "I can't wait until this silly movie is released and I can actually hold your hand or hug or kiss you in public like a normal couple if we want. It's insulting that we're being forced to hide like this..."
"Yeah... but it's okay," she smiled before helping Rachel back to the wall and skating over to Brooklyn. "Having fun little one?"
"Uh-huh! I loves skating, Mommy!" she beamed up at Santana as the woman came over to take her hand. "Rachie doesn't skate so good though."
"She's never done it before! She's just nervous." Santana smiled, "Where do you wanna have a special birthday dinner tonight?"
Brooklyn thought about it for a moment then brightened, "Can we have pizza? The place with special pizza for Momma?"
"I made you a special Brooklyn cake." She smiled and skated backwards to face the girl, "And I made Rachel cupcakes."
"A special cake just for me?" She wasn't sure her smile could get much brighter as she surged forward to tackle-hug her mom around the waist. "Special cake and Rachie's home! Best birthday ever, Mommy!"
"I aim to please," she said, as she tried to regain her footing as they lapped around the rink. "think I should tell Rachel about when I first met you at dinner?"
"Story about how I'm your special gift?" Brooklyn smiled up at her. "I'd like that! Then Rachie can know too!"
“Let's go see if she's okay.” Santana smiled and moved towards her and caught her as she started to tip over. “I got you.”
Rachel stiffened when she felt someone grab her around the waist only to relax as she realized it was Santana. "Oh, Santana, thank goodness!" She laughed in relief, "I'm afraid you don't want to know what I first thought when you grabbed me like that. Are you having a good time, Brooklyn?"
“Yes! Thank you for coming!” She chirped as she skated around them.
She laughed, leaning on Santana for support, "Where else would I go, silly? My family's here after all, right?"
“Can we go have hot cocoa and dinner now?” Brooklyn asked as she looked up at her mom. Santana nodded as she led the two off the ice and to the bench and got their bag with their shoes. She helped Brooklyn off with her skates and on with her boots before doing her own.
Rachel fumbled with her skates - nearly breaking the laces on one in frustration before she finally got the double knot Santana had put in it undone - but finally got them off and her boots back on. "Oh, sweet safety," she sighed happily, taking everyone's skates over to the rental place. "It's so nice to not have the hiss hiss of razor sharp death over ice ringing in my ears anymore," she teased, coming back over.
“You are insane,” Santana teased as helped Brooklyn get her jacket and backpack out of the locker they'd rented.
"I may be insane, but I'm safe," Rachel smirked. "So, where are we taking our special girl for dinner?"
"Pizza!" Brooklyn cheered, scurrying over and jumping at Rachel - who just barely managed to catch her with a mildly panicked expression at the surprise tackle. "Then home for special cakes!" She wrapped her arms around Rachel's neck and kissed her cheek with a happy smile, "Momma's home so I already has best present."
"You're sweet," Rachel smiled, reaching up to tap her nose.
Santana smiled and escorted the two smaller girls to the restaurant a few blocks away. They headed to the back and slid into a booth with Brooklyn as Santana ordered two hot chocolates and a hot apple cider for Rachel.
"I will never understand your fixation with hot chocolate beverages to accompany pizza, Santana," Rachel teased, pulling out a fresh box of crayons from her purse and a few sheets of paper to occupy Brooklyn as they waited for their food.
“Tradition?” Santana shrugged, “Brooklyn likes hot cocoa when it’s cold out and it’s tasty.”
"And you just like drinking chocolate," she suggested, scribbling something on a piece of paper and passing it to Santana.
“This is true.” She smiled and looked down at the paper, I ❤ You. Santana smiled and looked up shyly before drawing a flower on it for her and sliding it back.
Rachel grinned at her. "You're adorable. What are you drawing, Brooklyn?" she asked, looking over at the picture Brooklyn was working on industriously, "Is that a kitty?"
“Yes,” She smiled, “It’s a kitty! I’m excited I get to play with Lily and her sister's kitty tomorrow!”
"You like kitties, huh?"
“They soft and fluffy,” She wiggled, “Like Mommy!” She giggled as Santana scowled.
“Not a cat.” Santana said with a grumble.
“You sleeps and curl in a ball. You like a kitty, Mommy!”
"You'd be adorable as a kitty," Rachel teased, squeezing her knee under the table. "And sometimes it seems like you can sleep anywhere like one. You also adore attention."
“Don’t like you two right now.” She pouted as she crossed her arms.
"Oh?" Rachel raised a teasing brow, "So I suppose you wouldn't like special attention tomorrow? Since you don't like me right now..."
“We will see..” she said stated. “Not... a cat.”
"So you don't want to be pet?" Rachel smiled at her, all wide eyed innocence.
Santana blushed and nudged Rachel’s leg under the table, “Trouble...”
She snickered as the waiter came up to take their orders. Once he left, she turned back to Brooklyn. "So, tell me about Lily's kitty. What do you like about her?"
“She’s soft and purrs so loud!” Brooklyn exclaimed, “She’s like a little fuzzy thing and she licks my nose.”
"Is she still a baby kitty? Or is she all grown?" Rachel asked curiously.
“She’s big.” Brooklyn replied, “I still likes her.”
"I see," she nodded. "Does Lily take care of the kitty or her mom? Kitties take a lot of care and are a big responsibility after all."
“Lily’s sister is big, she’s twelve.” Brooklyn explained, “Lily is seven, so she helps a lot with feeding and cleaning.”
"Mmm, twelve," Rachel mused, glancing at Santana. "That sounds like big enough for a pet, don't you think, Santana? Lily's mom probably had to think a lot to decide that would be a good age."
“Yep,” Santana said, “But, every family is different.” she took a sip of her cocoa. “But, Lily can let you play with her family’s cat and until you get big enough to have one.”
Brooklyn pouted, "But I'm big, Mommy. I'm six!"
“Yes, I know. But, we are not ready to have a kitten and mommy told you not until you’re bigger.”
She pouted, "No fair."
"Brooklyn, you need to be bigger first," Rachel pointed out gently. "Lily has her big sister to help and you're our only little girl. And besides, I'm not sure if we can have pets yet in our home. I'll have to check and that'll take a while."
The girl pouted, “Fine... I understands.”
"If it's any consolation, I'll be home more for a while," she offered. "I only have to fly out sometimes for a day or two to be interviewed on TV about the movie right now."
“Really!” Brooklyn smiled, “Yay!” She clapped as the pizza came. Santana got a slice for the little girl and cut it and blew on it for her. When she slid it over to Brooklyn the girl smiled and blew on it herself. “Thank you, mommy.”
“Welcome babe.” Santana smiled and took her own piece out.
"I'm still amazed that this place offers a vegan friendly pie," Rachel mused, preparing her own small pizza.
"Good place with foods for everyone!" Brooklyn smiled across the table, her face smeared with tomato sauce.
"I guess so," Rachel laughed, reaching over to wipe a drip away before it could get on the girl's shirt.
Later that night found them curled together in the middle of Rachel and Santana's bed with Brooklyn nestled down between them happily.
"Mommy," she yawned, warm and happy. "time for my story, please?"
Santana smiled and kissed her daughter's head. “The first time that I ever saw your face was when the doctor put the magic ultrasound wand on my tummy. I heard your heartbeat and watched your little head while you were in my tummy,” she started. She told this story to Brooklyn every year on her birthday. “I was so in love with you from the moment I felt you move, but when I got to see you...” she smiled, remembering her daughter's image on the ultrasound in the dark clinic she had to drive to Dayton, Ohio to go to her appointments at. “So beautiful.”
"Was she tiny?" Rachel whispered, hearing the story for the first time. "I bet she was so tiny and precious as a baby..."
The young mother nodded, “When I went into labour and got put in the hospital to have you,” she bopped Brooklyn’s nose, “Mommy was so excited to meet you.” Santana left out how scared and the fact she was crying and screaming she wasn’t ready. “I just knew everything would be better once I got to hold you in my arms.”
"I wish I could have been there," Rachel whispered as Brooklyn smiled up at Santana and hugged her. "I wish I could have at least held your hand though that, Santana."
"You're here now, Rachie," Brooklyn pointed out, grinning at her, tugging on her hand.
Rachel smirked, "So I am, sweetie."
“After many, many hours... The nurse handed me my little gross looking bundle of Brooklyn.”
"I was not gross!" Brooklyn pouted. "You said I was your special gift!"
Rachel laughed, "Babies are messy when they're first born. But they're still perfect."
Santana laughed and kissed her daughter’s nose. “You were slimy and covered in grossness but you were all mine. Once they cleaned you off, they laid you in my arms and you opened your big brown eyes and looked at me.” She blinked away the tears that came to her eyes at the memory. “You looked at me like you knew me.”
"You're my mommy," Brooklyn pointed out as if it was obvious. "I grew in you so I knowed you."
“I know,” she smiled, “but I never knew that babies could know their mommies that fast.” She cooed, “That I could love you that much.”
"Brooklyn's special," Rachel murmured, brushing her fingers through the little girl's hair. "I never knew I could love a little girl as much as I love you after all," she admitted, with a shy smile. "Even if I didn't get to be there to meet you when your mom did."
Santana nodded, “Brooklyn, you are a special present to me and now Rachel and that’s why we love you so much.”
"I'm the best present!" she cried happily, wiggling between them. "Do I get to sleeps with you and Momma?"
“You are my best surprise,” Santana smiled and pulled the blankets up over her. “And yes, birthdays get special snuggles.”
"Yay," Brooklyn cheered sleepily. "Everyone's home and everyone loves me. I'm lucky and happy. Best birthday ever, Mommies."
Santana just chuckled and curled into her daughter's side, “Go to sleep, little one.”
She yawned again, closing her eyes and snuggling into her mom's chest. "Love you."
"We love you too, sweetie," Rachel whispered kissing the top of her head and wrapping her arm around her and Santana. "Good night, Brooklyn. Good night, Santana."
Chapter Thirty-Three