There's Always Brooklyn - Chapter Twenty-Four
Title: There's Always Brooklyn
Author: Sio and Maura
Artist: raingoddess2040
Type: AU Post On My Way, future femslash with a het side pairing
Word Count: 195,092
Rating: NC-17 for later chapters
Characters/Pairings: Rachel/Santana, Quinn/OMC, past Quinn/Rachel, Santana/Brittany, near miss Quinn/Santana, Quinn/Rachel
Warnings (highlight to read): Explicit sexual content in later chapters, talk of presumed non-con (no actual), minor off-screen violence, strong language, external/general homophobia, child (not kink), parenting (not kink)
Summary: Six years ago, Santana Lopez disappeared following graduation. The costs for therapy and rehab to get out of her chair, made Quinn Fabray realize she couldn't have Yale, so she went with her second acceptance - NYU. Rachel Berry missed out on NYADA but made it into Tisch, only to find herself as roommates with Quinn after tearing herself away from Finn to go to New York. Eventually a gin soaked night led to a tormented relationship that eventually was surrendered to save their fading friendship. When Rachel finally managed to land a Broadway lead under Quinn's management, they were shocked by who showed up for the latest opening as Rachel's assistant.
What neither of them had ever expected was that she'd have a child with her. One she'd ran away to New York to be able to have without the shame Quinn had gone through.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Santana got Brooklyn settled at her daycamp before going and picking up coffee for her and Quinn. She sighed, not looking forward to spending an entire day in the office with Quinn. They still hadn’t had much of a conversation since she broke up with Rachel and she wasn’t happy with how Quinn was managing Rachel’s career or how she consistently disregarded her daughter.
She pushed open the door to the office and put Quinn’s coffee on her desk and settled down on the couch and pulled out her laptop.
Quinn came in a few moments later. Her pale skin still kissed with the sun from the weekend spent with Jay and his family a few days ago. "Hi, San," she murmured sitting down at her desk and booting up her computer. "Thanks for the coffee."
“No problem.” She said as she looked up, “Did you have a nice weekend?” She said as she pulled out other notebook and planner and let them on the table.
"Yes. It was very nice. How about you?" She seemed distracted by logging into her system, so the question was likely little more than idle small talk.
“It was fine.” Santana said as she rolled her eyes and took a sip of her coffee. She signed into skype and pouted when she remembered that California was three hours behind and Rachel would still be sleeping for a few hours.
"Stop frowning like that," Quinn muttered, pulling a contract out of her desk to go over. "It's distracting. Do you know what's going on with the Ellsworth deal? I know he wants a model, but I thought he was going to contact you with more details."
“He’s interested in that new girl that you signed. It’s a black and white shoot for a new designer... but I told you I don’t wanna be a manager or an agent so I don’t know why you keep sending these things to me.” Santana reminded her as she typed on her computer
"I sent it to you because until Rachel gets back, you're basically my assistant and I needed your assistance because I was going out of town," she settled her glasses on her nose before glancing up at Santana with a raised brow. "I know she's got you doing that ridiculous online thing, but I'm trying to keep you with enough work to justify keeping you as a full-time employee to my supervisors. Unless, of course, you can't handle it?"
“No, it’s fine,” Santana said as she tried not to glare, “But, don’t give me busy work... If you can’t keep me employed I can find another job. Don’t do me any favours.”
"I'm not doing you any favors." Quinn took her glasses off and folded them on her desk. "I need an assistant. I don't want to sort through the reams of mediocrity that tends to cross my desk to find one and to be perfectly honest, I doubt I could beg, borrow, or steal enough favors to get permission to hire one even if I did want to go to the trouble. You're available and already on the payroll. I'm not giving you busy work, Santana. I'm giving you work that I have too much on my plate to handle. It's called delegating. And it's also called trust, because if you screw up, I'm the one who'll have the mess on my resume."
“Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence.” She said sarcastically as she ran her hand through her long hair. “Whatever, I can handle it though I’m not sure why I even bother...” She mumbled as she focused back at the computer. “It’s fine, just maybe tell me next time you decide to change my job.”
"I haven't changed your job. I'm just borrowing you, the same as I've done in the past," Quinn pointed out. "You're still Rachel's assistant as far as HR is concerned. I just don't see why you're being so stubborn about getting a promotion."
“It’s fine, Quinn...” Santana said as she intensely stared at her blank screen. “I can’t change my hours, so don’t ask.”
"Why bother asking when I know you're obsessed with working with Rachel?" she muttered, her fingers flying over her keyboard.
“Rachel has nothing to do with my hours.” She said as she looked up with a glare, “My daughter, remember her? The little thing you ignore, makes me not able to work late.”
Quinn sighed, "I am well aware of your child, Santana. There's no need to shove her in my face."
“There’s no need to hate on a five year old.” Santana scoffed, “God, I hope your boyfriend never wants kids.”
"I don't hate her, Santana. And leave Ajay out of this." She scowled at Santana. "You know damn well why I can't be around her, so stop it."
“It’s been almost nine years,” Santana stated, “Get over it... I’m sure Beth is doing perfectly fine and living her life, maybe you should too.”
Quinn glared at her. "And I'm sure that Brooklyn would be perfectly fine and you'd be doing wonderfully if you'd gave her away too!"
“Is that what your problem is?” Santana snapped, “That I kept her?”
"Maybe it is! Did you ever think that maybe I wanted to keep my little girl, Santana?" Quinn's jaw was tight as she snapped, "That every time I see you and Brooklyn I think that I could have done at least as well as you did? Did you?"
“Did you suddenly forget that I was around when you were pregnant?” Santana said, “Do you forget that you’re the one who was counting the days in the beginning until you could give the baby up to Schue’s wife and re-join the Cheerios? That being the perfect little girl was more important that getting proper medical checkups for your baby?” She tried to control her emotions, “You didn’t want to keep her, Puck did, but you wanted to go back to your perfect life.”
"Don't do that! Don't act like my being scared meant I didn't want her! I was fifteen, Santana! And everyone shamed me for what happened, even you. Or don't you remember? I got as many check ups as I could afford!"
“That Finn could afford,” Santana reminded her, “Don’t rewrite history, Quinn. Everyone shunned you when they found out you lied, but even then everyone took you back with loving and open arms the minute you batted your pretty green eyes.”
"Don't you rewrite history! You weren't me and you don't know what I went through! And unlike you, I couldn't just leave to keep everyone from finding out. And don't act like you were my best friend when you found out, Santana. You got away from me as fast as you could and took Brittany right along with you. I'd thought you were my friends but I had to butter Mercedes up to have a home in the end."
“You got pregnant from my boyfriend, you remember the fact he and I were together when you slept with him right?” She scoffed, “It’s not like we were friends anyway, we only liked each other because of Cheerios and our bloated sense of self worth. I’m sorry I didn’t rally around you, but you know my family... they’re worse then yours in the high and mighty sense.” She took a long breath, “But it’s not like you stood up for me when I needed it so maybe we’re even.”
"Your boyfriend got me drunk and lied to me so he could fuck me, Santana, and you broke up with him on the first day of school anyway." She shook her head. "Whatever. It's not like it matters anyway." She scoffed angrily, turning back to her computer.
“Whatever.” Santana sighed, “Your issues are not mine or my daughters fault. I kept her because I couldn’t afford an abortion and I couldn’t get Mike's permission to give her up for adoption and I was homeless. So, yeah I fucking left to try to give my kid everything. But, look where you are and look where I am... You got to go to your fancy college with no debt... I live paycheck to paycheck and have a high school diploma... so congrats, Quinn. You win.”
"It's not a contest, Santana," Quinn muttered. "I'm glad you got to keep Brooklyn, but it hurts me to see her, so I avoid her. That's all."
“You need to grow up.” Santana said softly, “You have a boyfriend who is in love with you and is willing to give you the world. Don’t fuck it up because you're crazy.”
"Oh thank you so much for making judgements on my sanity, Santana," she scowled. "Did you somehow magically erase high school? Because I wish I could. I am aware that I have a problem regarding children. I am talking with Ajay about it and we will deal with it whenever we need to. My being able to be around your child or not does not in any way impact on my relationship with him."
“So, it’s just my child,” Santana swallowed, almost more offended now that she knew it was just her little girl what Quinn couldn’t be around.
"Do not make this about you, Santana! You know damn well Beth tore a massive hole in my life even if neither you nor anyone else wanted to help me deal with it!" She slapped a hand on her desk, lips tight to hold her emotions in check. "I had to go through all of that, getting pregnant because of the lies of your boyfriend who I didn't even want to have sex with at fifteen, getting ostracized everywhere, having a child and being allowed only two days before I had to give her up, and feeling like I had nothing but being yelled at by everyone about how much I was screwing up whenever I tried anything to cope?! I went through that not you! So forgive me if I'm not magically fucking better, Santana!"
“Bitch, you have no idea what I've gone through,” Santana snapped, closing her computer. “I’m sorry no one helped you get over your depression, that was shitty. But no one helped me either, like when I was getting forced out of the closet to the entire fucking state of Ohio. When jocks would corner me and threaten to make me normal on a daily basis.” She shoved her computer in her bag, “When my girlfriend was fucking Wheels and the Irish kid and everyone knew about it but me and no one told me. Or when I suddenly started not talking to anyone and got kicked out of my house because my Catholic parents couldn’t handle one more disappointment and I had to hitch to anywhere to get away.”
"Like hell, I stood up for you, if you remember," Quinn scowled. "Maybe Finn stopped giving a shit what I had to say, but I stood up for you in front of those jocks. I didn't know about Brittany, though I'm not at all surprised, and I was stuck in a wheelchair with my jaw wired shut for the rest of the school year! I was barely even in school and you talked to me in the hospital so how was I supposed to know!"
“I don’t even care, Quinn.” Santana sighed, “If you wanna keep playing the martyr, go ahead. I’m sorry for you if you can’t get help for yourself.”
"I'm so very sorry that my problems are such a hardship for you, Santana," she muttered, shaking her head. "I tried to help. It's not my fault you didn't talk to me. But you and I both know damn well if I'd asked you for help sophomore year, you'd just have laughed and used it to get ahead of me. I'm sorry you felt you had to run away but don't blame me that you were alone when you didn't even try to talk to me. You know I would have understood what you were going through."
“Like you talked to me when you got pregnant. I had to find out from Puck with everyone else.” She said softly, “Your problems are a hardship for me when my daughter asks why Auntie Quinn hates her, so yeah... maybe I’m taking this too seriously.” She scoffed as she finished gathering her things.
"Stop acting like you wouldn't have used it against me if I'd told you. If I'd told you it would have gotten out that much faster and maybe I would have had to run away because I wouldn't have had anywhere to live." Quinn shook her head. "Just... whatever. I didn't ask to be her aunt. I don't hate her and I'm sorry my thinking of Beth every time I see her hurts her, but the two of you have Rachel - and I'm fully aware you're talking again, so don't act so shocked - so you don't need me anyway."
“We don’t need you,” Santana said as she stood up, “You can go and be in your own emotional bubble and never deal with your problems. But, don’t ever think about coming around my kid because I’m not letting someone like you hurt her. She doesn’t deserve it.” She pulled on her bag and looked at her pointedly, “And yes, I’m talking to Rachel again... no thanks to you.”
"Get out of my office," she whispered, staring at her keyboard. "I don't need your judgement. You've got what you wanted so just go."
“I can’t do this...” Santana said, “I can’t be around you knowing that you can’t stand the most important part of my life...” She sniffled, “I can’t... I don’t think I can do this.”
"Then don't be around me. Just take Rachel and stay away," she blinked, not wanting to look at Santana. "Why not take Ajay while you're at it? He loves kids after all..."
“Stop being petty, you ruined your relationship with Rachel... I had nothing to do with that.” Santana scoffed, “I can quit... or just work when she’s in New York, but I don’t think I can work with you if you hate me.”
"I don't hate you!" she snapped, rubbing at her eyes. "And I was doing what was best for her career. She wanted me to be her manager, not me. She was my friend. Now I guess she's just a client... so don't you hurt her. Please..."
“She’s still your friend, but she’s pissed... she’ll get over it.” Santana rolled her eyes, “I’m not being mean, but Quinn... for the love of God, please go to therapy. Not everything is a personal attack on you.”
"I could say the same about you, you know," she scoffed. "Because going to a shrink is so going to help me. What about you? Where's your therapist?"
“I’ll go to one when you do,” She challenged.
Quinn eyes narrowed. "Is this some kind of fucked up bet, Santana?"
“I’ll go, when you go.” She shrugged, “What could it hurt?”
"Our reputations?" she laughed humorlessly. "Fine. You find one, I'll pay. Or are you going to chicken out?"
“This is New York, everyone and their brother goes to a shrink,” She shrugged, sitting back down and pulling out her computer. “I’ll see what's in the insurance plan.”
"Ugh. Don't confine yourself to that. The mental health part of it sucks. I've got money saved. It's not like I do anything but work most of the time anyway."
Santana shrugged and started quietly searching for a therapist for both her and Quinn to go to.
"Remember," Quinn pointed out, "I'm only in this as long as you can hack it."
“Whatever, blondie, you’re going... so if that means I gotta suck it up? I’ll do it.”
"We'll see."
When the chimes of the computer started ringing through Rachel’s apartment, Brooklyn squeaked in excitement.
“MOMMY!” SHe exclaimed, as she ran from the bedroom where she was just getting dressed after her bath over to the couch and bounced onto it. “Come fast it’s ringing!” she said as she looked at the computer trying to figure out how to answer it.
“Baby, just press the green button like I showed you last time.” Santana called as she tried to pick up the mess from the bath. Brooklyn bit her lip and used her finger and carefully put it on the touchpad and moved it up to the green button and pressed it.
“I did it!” She exclaimed as she picture filled the screen, “RACHIE!” she smiled a toothy grin.
"Hi, sweetie!" Rachel smiled up at her, waving. "Are you almost ready for bed?"
“Yes,” she said, “I just took a bath with my duckies.”
"That's great. All nice and clean? How was camp today?"
“Good, I mades you a bracelet and mommy’s gonna mail it to you.” Brooklyn smiled as she sat to the front of the couch when Santana came up slid behind her and pulled Brooklyn on to her lap.
“Hey Rachel.” Santana smiled, as she started to brush her daughter’s hair.
"Hello, Santana," she smiled up at her. "The bracelet sounds lovely, Brooklyn. I'll be sure to wear it as often as I can, okay?"
“Cool, How is Cali-fornia.” she said slowly making sure she said it right.
"That's really good pronunciation, Brooklyn!" Rachel cheered, "You've been working hard, haven't you. It's really pretty and warm and sunny here, but I wish you were here with your mommy so I could give the two of you big hugs to let you know how much I miss you."
Santana smiled over Brooklyn's head, “Only seven weeks ‘til we comes and see you!”
"That's wonderful! I can't wait until you're both here and I can show you around." She smiled at the two of them. "Maybe if your mom is okay with it, we can all go out to the ocean one day to swim. What do you say, Santana?"
“Sounds like fun,” Santana smiled. “I’ll remember to pack our bathing suits,” she winked as she ran the comb through her hair.
"Now there's something to look forward to," Rachel teased. "Anything fun coming up in camp, Brooklyn? You're still learning the violin, right?"
“Yes, but it's hard...” she pouted, “Makes my fingers and arms hurt when I play.”
"Everything is hard when you first start, sweetie. It was hard for me to dance when I first started and playing the piano made me tired, but I kept working on it and now where am I?" she grinned up at Brooklyn.
“Famous?” She smiled, “I keep practicing, I wants to be good and sound pretty when I play.”
"Good for you," Rachel laughed. "And when you get better, we'll play together, right?"
“Yes and mommy can sing,” she smiled over her shoulder and Santana kissed her nose.
"I like the sound of that," Rachel smiled. "Are you heading to bed soon, sweetie? Want me to sing to you?"
“Yes, please,” she said, “I go get in bed.” she blew Rachel a kiss and scampered into the newly converted bedroom. Santana looked at Rachel and smiled.
“You’re beautiful,” she said as she looked at her girlfriend.
"And you're wonderful," Rachel agreed, smiling softly up at Santana. "I'm incredibly blessed to have the two of you in my life. Let's go sing her to sleep, okay?"
Santana picked up the computer and brought it into the bedroom. Brooklyn was lying in her bed, cuddled in her blanket with her arms around her bear. Santana sat the computer on the nightstand and sat next her her little girl and rubbed her back. “Alright, sleepy time, beautiful.”
Brooklyn nodded and yawned, “Rachie? Can you sing the rainbow song?”
"Sure, Brooklyn," she smiled at the sleepy little girl through the screen. "Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high. There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby," she sang softly.
The little girl's eyes closed as the song came to a close, Santana rubbed her back for a few more minutes before turning on her nightlight and picking up the computer and closing her door part way. Santana put the computer on the kitchen counter and continued doing dishes. “How was your day, Rach?”
"Long, busy," she smiled sheepishly, listening to Santana work, "lonely. Take your pick."
“I’m sorry, do you have plans for tonight? It’s only like 6 for you...” she said as she reached up to put some dishes on the top shelf.
"Does talking to you count?" She smiled lopsidedly, "I don't feel like going out and I'd... like to spend some time with you, if that's alright?"
“Sounds perfect, why don’t you go and get some dinner then text me when you get back?” Santana smiled, “That way you aren’t starving and all my errands will be done.”
"Sounds like a plan," Rachel smiled happily, a light blush coloring her cheeks. "I'll text you in a little while, okay?"
“Talk to you soon.” Santana smiled and closed her laptop and continued to clean the apartment up from the tornado that was Brooklyn.
It was nearly an hour later before Rachel was able to send her text to let Santana know she was ready. Staring at her phone, she wondered what to send with her lower lip caught between her teeth. She wanted to engage Santana in a manner that would hopefully bring about an outcome of sexual release, but it wasn't exactly something she was very experienced with. Finally she took a deep breath and began typing.
Santana, do let me know if this is untoward and I promise I will cease immediately, but I feel that it would be prurient to inquire as to the nature of your undergarments at this juncture.
Her lip firmly caught between her teeth and a blush darkening her cheeks, she hit send.
Santana was laying on the couch reading when she picked up her cellphone and laughed, That was a very long winded way of asking me if I was wearing panties right?
Well, yes. I was also hoping to ascertain the color and style though. Please don't laugh. I've never done this before.
She was blushing as she hit send again.
Well, they look extraordinarily like my skin tone...
Rachel blinked at the phone confusedly.
Does that mean you are not wearing any panties or does that mean that you're wearing nude toned ones?
Nothing but Santana, baby
Oh. Oh my. That's quite daring of you, Santana. I wish I was there to witness this phenomenon in person.
Rachel was flushed, pulling off her blouse to try and combat the heat caused by thinking of her girlfriend in such a state.
Santana chuckled softly, getting up, turning off the lights and checking the lock on the door before heading into her bedroom - into Rachel’s bedroom, she reminded herself. She closed the door and laid down on her stomach.
I never wear panties after work.
I believe I shall keep that in mind. Rachel blushed as she sent it, following it a few minutes later with another text.
I'm in the process of changing for bed now, though I'm currently debating on if I should slumber in a natural state or don pajamas. Do you have any suggestions?
Stay naked, Santana typed out as she closed her eyes and thought about Rachel wandering around her rental condo in nothing. It’s a nice thought
I thought that might be your vote on the subject, she chuckled as she typed it out. Oh! I made a special purchase today to help relax at night. Shall I send you a photo?
Special purchase? I’m intrigued.
Rachel blushed as she pulled her brand-new vibrating dildo out of the bag and snapped a picture of it. Sending it to Santana, she quickly followed it with another text.
To help relax me when you're not here to help. Might experiment with it tonight.
“Holy shit.” Santana breathed as she looked at the picture, she licked her lips and moved further up the bed to lay in the pillows.
God... Rachel...fuck... how big is that?
A little over six inches she sent, quickly following it with, I wonder if I should acquire a harness at some point for it. So you could assist me in its use at a future date?
god yes, i’d love that. Santana moaned softly at the thought.
Rachel stretched out on her bed nude, examining the toy. Picking up her phone, she typed in another text.
It's fairly large. I may need additional lubrication. Sending the text,, she reached down between her legs, eyes widening when she realized she was soaked already, her fingers coming away glistening with arousal. Or maybe not...
Can I watch? Santana was nervous about her question, but she couldn’t stop herself from asking.
Watch? She looked at the phone for a moment curiously, You wish to watch me engaging in self-pleasure while thinking of you, Santana? Wouldn't that be counter-productive given your noted ability to not be able to achieve climax without assistance?
I still wanna watch you get off... just turn on your computer. Santana texted before running and grabbing the laptop off the kitchen counter and closing her door again. She opened it up and signed back into skype. She unbuttoned the front of the gingham shirt she was wearing as she waited for Rachel to sign on.
Getting up and getting her computer - while trying not to make a mess anywhere, she set it up on the end of the bed and bit her lips with a shy smile before spreading her legs and hitting the command to log on. When Santana's image came on the screen, she had two fingers working through her wet folds, stroking herself while her other hand pinched and twisted at a nipple.
"Hi," she whispered, almost shyly except for what she was doing.
“Hey,” Santana breathed out, as her eyes went to where Rachel’s hand was. “Wow...” She said as she watched. “That might be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
"Today? Or ever?" she asked shyly, the hand that had been fondling her breast moving down to hold herself open so Santana could see better. "You should realize that you're the only person I would ever even consider doing this for, Santana."
“I like knowing that,” She breathed, as she ran her hand over her own abs, “and ever... sexiest thing ever.”
"This is your fault you know," she laughed nervously, licking her lips as her fingers pinched and tugged on her clit. "I can't help but think about you and how you could make me feel when you kissed me, let alone when you," her breath caught as she twisted her clit slightly, "when you touched me... Makes me so wet that I have to carry a change of panties in my purse just in case I accidentally imagine it."
Santana smiled, “Yeah? We should get you new memories someday soon.” She whispered as she slid her hand up to her own breast under her shirt.
"I'd like that," she panted, reaching for her new toy. "Do you think I should use this?" she asked shyly, bringing it into the frame.
“In a minute.” She said, “Don’t want you to come too soon.” She said as she slid her own shirt off and sat bare chested in front of her girlfriend.
Rachel choked out a laugh. "You do that and you don't want me to come too soon?" she laughed incredulously. "Tell me what to do," she whispered after a moment. "Tell me, Santana..."
“Touch your breasts,” Santana said, “touch your nipples and pretend it’s me.”
She nodded, closing her eyes and running both hands up her body to pinch and tug on her nipples, inadvertently leaving a trail of arousal glistening on her body from her core to her breasts. "G-god, Santana... feels so good..."
Santana watched, entranced by the images in front of her. “So sexy,” She murmured, “take the dildo and run it up and down your slit.”
"You sure?" she whispered, reaching over blindly for it and fumbling around until she managed to find it, dragging it down her body until the tip was just running along her folds.
“Does it feel good?” Santana asked, “Do you want to feel it vibrating against your clit?”
"So good," she whispered, reaching down with her free hand to part her folds and slide it through them until it was glistening with her juices. "I want you to fuck me with it, baby..."
“God, I want too... but you’re gonna have to do it for me okay?” Santana husked, “Slide the tip inside.”
Rachel's breath caught as she eased the tip of the dildo just inside her entrance. "G-god, Santana," she gasped, pushing it a little further in, "I'm definitely buying a harness for you..."
“What... what if want you to use it on me?” She said as she leaned back against Rachel’s pillows. “In this bed... your bed.”
"God," she whispered, pushing it all the way in with a low groan, "Can I? C-can I take you like that? M-make love to you like that?"
Santana whimpered as she watched the gold coloured item disappear into her lover's core. “Yes,” she said, “I’d like that. Tell me how it feels, Rachel.”
"Feels," she panted, shifting the object in her core, "feels full... like I'm being stretched. Bigger than your fingers... deeper..."
“Start sliding inside slow,” She whispered, “Think that I’m guiding it.”
Rachel whimpered softly as she started slowly pumping in and out of herself. "God... I wish I could feel you against me... your mouth on my breasts, biting at me..."
“Kissing your breath away?” Santana asked shyly.
"Please," she breathed, the microphone barely able to pick it up. "I miss you so much, Santana..."
“I miss you too,” she replied, “I wish you were here with me...”
"Or," she gasped, her body starting to tremble as she fucked herself while they talked, "you here. Just... just with me... can I... can I turn it on, Santana? I need more..."
“Yes, turn it on... turn it on and go faster.” Santana demanded.
Rachel nodded jerkily as she fumbled with the switch for the vibrator, the low hum filling the room as she started moving faster. Low whimpers and pants filled the room as she rocked closer and closer to climax. "G-god... S-san," she panted, moaning, "Santana..."
“Move closer to the screen,” Santana asked, “wanna see.”
She swallowed harshly as she inched closer. "If... if I ruin my computer, I will be... be very wroth, S-santana..."
“I’ll buy you a new one,” Santana smiled, “just put your legs around it so you don't kick it off the bed.”
"Th-that's not what I'm worried about," she admitted with a blush as she hooked her ankles around the laptop. "I'm... I'm so close..."
“Go deeper,” Santana whimpered, “Please.”
"C-can't... b-bottoming out," she whispered, "I'm... G-god, Santana... I think I'm gonna... gonna," she moaned low in her throat as her body started spasming, "C-can't hold on..."
“Let go, baby.” Santana whispered, “Come for me.”
"Gonna," she gasped, her hips bucking, "gonna ... god... Santana, I don't want to ruin my laptop!" She scooted frantically back on the bed, pushing the laptop back as her body released in a wet gush.
Santana beamed as she saw the dark spot in the bed forming. “Baby,” She smiled as she watched her lover's face. “I wish I was there to lick you clean.”
Rachel could only lay there, panting as her body tried to recover. "I," she gasped, her hands lying limply on her thighs, dildo still humming softly in her core before she managed to fumble it off again. "I... I wish that too."
“Bring the computer up near your head when you can.” Santana said softly, pulling her shirt back on and crawling under the covers. She put the computer on Rachel’s side of the bed and waited for the other woman to do the same.
Tired, the lights in the room dimming at the sun set outside, she dragged the laptop up to rest on the pillows beside her. She breathed heavily, trying to regain her equilibrium as she carefully pulled the dildo out with a low whimper and set it aside to wash off. "Hi," she whispered, smiling tiredly when she got back under control. "I really wish you were here to hold me right now, Santana."
“I wish I would be there to hold you ever every night.” Santana whispered, “I’m not happy you're gone.”
"I'm not either," she admitted softly, rolling to face the screen more directly with a sad smile. "I see a million things I want to share with you and Brooklyn every day if feels like, but I can't because you're back home. It's so lonely out here, Santana. I miss you and Brooklyn so much..."
“She misses you too... I had a fight with Quinn today, it was bad...” she admitted, “I was lashing out at her.”
"Oh no, Santana," Rachel bit her lip worriedly, her hand making an abortive gesture towards the screen as if to reach out and stroke Santana's cheek, but stopping part way when she realized what she was doing. "Is everything okay? Do you need me to talk to her?"
“I think it's fine now, but... like we each said some bad things.” she whispered, “I hate her for rejecting Brooke...”
"I don't think she's rejecting her so much as avoiding her because it's so painfully obvious being around her hurts," Rachel sighed. "I wish I could have gotten her to go to therapy for her depression following Beth's birth when we were together but that was just another thing we fought about..."
“She’s going to one in three days.” Santana said softly, grabbing one of Brooklyn’s bears that was in her bed and cuddled it.
"Seriously?" Rachel's smile was unabashedly happy for the first time since she'd gotten on the plane to LA. "You got her to go? Santana, you are absolutely amazing!"
“Yeah, we made a deal,” Santana sighed, “she needs to go or she’ll ruin things with Ajay.”
"You are my hero, Santana Lopez," she cheered. "You have no idea how much I want to kiss you this very instant! I don't know how you did it, but you just single-handedly managed to achieve what I spend four years trying to do. I love you so much right now!"
“Just right now?” Santana muttered, “But, I told her if she went and got help... I would.”
"Not just right now, don't be silly, but you are completely my favorite person in the universe at this moment," Rachel smiled at her brightly. "Even more than Barbra or Patti LuPone. If you need assistance, be assured that I will support you as fully as I can in any possible fashion you require. It's just, she's need help for so long and I've never been able to get her to see that it was destroying her to not address it. Thank you so much, Santana. I think you may have saved our friend's life by doing this."
“Yeah, its not a big deal...hopefully she’ll let it work.” Santana sighed and hugged the bear, feeling totally alone despite her daughter in the apartment and Rachel talking to her.
"Mmm, Santana, will you do something for me?" Rachel asked softly, looking at her. "Will you please go and retrieve my bottle of body spray from the bathroom and spray my pillow with in and give it a big hug right now? Because if the shooting schedule would just let up a little, I'd fly home to see you... and I might totally have stolen your old WMHS t-shirt to put on a pillow here so I could hug it when I miss you too much..."
“I already did before I went to bed...” Santana admitted, “Your apartment is very dark at night...”
"I know. I don't have a lot of windows. But I have a night light if you want it? It's in my dresser because I don't use it all the time."
“I put it in Brooklyn’s room...” Santana sighed, “It's not a big deal...” she looked away, “Brooklyn likes having her own room.”
"I bet. But what about you?" she asked softly. "Are you okay in my room? You know, you can change things to suit you, I don't mind..."
“Your room is fine... Nothing to change.”
"I can think of something to change," Rachel murmured softly. "My not being in it with you..."
Santana nodded, her eyes closing to try to prevent the tears that were tying to escape. “I.. I don’t like being alone.”
"I know how it feels," she admitted. "I wish I could walk in the door right now. Just walk in and crawl into bed with you and never let you go..."
“I... I just... I... I know Brooklyn’s next door but I feel like I did when... before her.” she sniffled, “I don’t like being all alone.”
"You're not. I promise you're not," Rachel whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "Because I love you. And even if we're physically separated, I'm with you, okay? You can't be alone because you have Brooklyn and you have me... that has to count for something, doesn't it?"
“I know...” Santana said, “It helps some... but doesn’t make everything go away...”
"I know it doesn't. But it'll get better," she whispered, her mind half made up for the crazy plan brewing in her head. "I promise it will."
“I hope... maybe this shrink thing might be for the best.” She sighed sadly.
"Maybe. You'll tell me how everything goes?" she asked hopefully. "You know, anything you need to do, I'll support you. Right?"
“I will. I don’t go until Monday when Brooke’s at camp.” she cuddled into her bear and watched Rachel for a minute. “Will you stay on until I fall asleep?”
"Of course," she whispered with a soft smile, "there's no one I'd rather fall asleep with than you, after all. Want me to sing for you?"
“No, that’s for Brooklyn... Tell me about something I don’t know.” She asked softly.
"Like what?" Rachel smiled lopsidedly, "You've known me practically my whole life, but ask and I'll answer. I'll tell you anything you want to know, Santana."
“Whats your favourite color?” Santana asked tiredly.
"Pink... or sometimes yellow. As you'd know if you looked around my apartment," she teased gently. "I'm very partial to the color gold as well, if you remember. Unfortunately though, there's an aspect of my life in which I'm not a gold star. I really should have taken your advice about Finn, Santana. The only good thing about that affair was it was at least short."
“Yeah... I didn’t want you to deal with that then fucking Stutters opened her yap...” She said, “But, I’m not a gold star either and I’ve been with more guys than you so you’re closer.”
"I think it's just the first that counts," Rachel suggested. "Do you suppose the data could be slightly skewed if I admitted that I um," she blushed licking her lips, her voice softening, "imagined you in his place to get through it? I know I shouldn't have, but it was the only way I could climax..."
“I’m impressed you even got there with him... but, it's okay. Now you know that I’m like a million times better than Tub-o-lard.” She said with a smirk, “He’s gross and smelled bad.”
"I believe you are vastly underestimating your abilities in the bedroom, Santana," Rachel smirked. "And honestly, if it weren't for that time in New York when I accidentally walked in on you while you were getting out of the shower I doubt I would have even managed to become sufficiently aroused for the entire incident to be at least moderately comfortable. I honestly have pity for whatever woman he manages to ensnare later in life as I'm not entirely certain he knows how to use that particular appendage as anything more than a tool to write his name in the snow with."
Santana chuckled, “He’s not important anymore... first times are always bad.” she said as she nuzzled the bear.
"You're important," she murmured softly, watching her, "I think maybe if I'd waited for you... well, it might not have been good, but I doubt it would have been bad." She chuckled softly, "I had such a crush on you for so long..."
“You also had a crush on Quinn, flatterer.” Santana said, “But, if I wasn’t so scared of being gay... then so wrapped up in her... I would have liked you back.”
"That's sweet," Rachel smirked, "but I'm not sure you would have wanted to be as open as I would have been back then. You do know I tried to convince Kurt to start at Gay/Lesbian Alliance will me right?"
“You’re silly,” Santana smiled, “and no, I wouldn’t have been okay with being out... look where that got me when I finally gave in.”
She laughed softly, "I think you could have convinced me to see things your way if you put your mind to it. There were rumors about a certain janitors' closet after all," she winked, teasing her.
Santana raised her eyebrow, “What's this?"
"Or perhaps the choir room at lunch? No one ever went in there while I was practicing," Rachel continued, rubbing her chin as if she was musing over the various private places in their high school. "Though I must say my inner performer is tickled by the idea of the auditorium, while my inner private self thinks that would have been a terrible idea as anyone could have walked in..."
“I’ve had sex in there... not as fun as you’d think... really dusty.” Santana mused, “But the acoustics are great.”
"My thoughts exactly, Santana," she grinned at her, then sobered. "Frankly, if you'd asked, I would have been hard pressed not to surrender my virginity to you, Santana. Or well, Quinn, but you had been a crush of mine for far longer so you had precidence."
“Well... I call dibs on you for awhile longer so I win.” she yawned, “I wish... I wish i could wake up to you tomorrow.”
"Waking up would be difficult," Rachel admitted, now convinced that her crazy idea was necessary, "but I completely share the sentiment. Go to sleep, love. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"
She nodded, her eyes drooping closed. “Miss you so much.” she mumbled as her face tucked behind the teddy bear as she fell asleep.
"More than words can say," Rachel whispered, blowing a kiss towards the image of her sleeping girlfriend before shutting down the connection and moving to set things in motion to make her plan come to fruition.
"Hello, Jan?" she smiled into the phone as she got up and moved to get cleaned up and dressed. "Something's come up at home. Can I get a couple days to take care of it? Promise I'll be back in Sunday night."
Chapter Twenty-Five
Author: Sio and Maura
Artist: raingoddess2040
Type: AU Post On My Way, future femslash with a het side pairing
Word Count: 195,092
Rating: NC-17 for later chapters
Characters/Pairings: Rachel/Santana, Quinn/OMC, past Quinn/Rachel, Santana/Brittany, near miss Quinn/Santana, Quinn/Rachel
Warnings (highlight to read): Explicit sexual content in later chapters, talk of presumed non-con (no actual), minor off-screen violence, strong language, external/general homophobia, child (not kink), parenting (not kink)
Summary: Six years ago, Santana Lopez disappeared following graduation. The costs for therapy and rehab to get out of her chair, made Quinn Fabray realize she couldn't have Yale, so she went with her second acceptance - NYU. Rachel Berry missed out on NYADA but made it into Tisch, only to find herself as roommates with Quinn after tearing herself away from Finn to go to New York. Eventually a gin soaked night led to a tormented relationship that eventually was surrendered to save their fading friendship. When Rachel finally managed to land a Broadway lead under Quinn's management, they were shocked by who showed up for the latest opening as Rachel's assistant.
What neither of them had ever expected was that she'd have a child with her. One she'd ran away to New York to be able to have without the shame Quinn had gone through.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Santana got Brooklyn settled at her daycamp before going and picking up coffee for her and Quinn. She sighed, not looking forward to spending an entire day in the office with Quinn. They still hadn’t had much of a conversation since she broke up with Rachel and she wasn’t happy with how Quinn was managing Rachel’s career or how she consistently disregarded her daughter.
She pushed open the door to the office and put Quinn’s coffee on her desk and settled down on the couch and pulled out her laptop.
Quinn came in a few moments later. Her pale skin still kissed with the sun from the weekend spent with Jay and his family a few days ago. "Hi, San," she murmured sitting down at her desk and booting up her computer. "Thanks for the coffee."
“No problem.” She said as she looked up, “Did you have a nice weekend?” She said as she pulled out other notebook and planner and let them on the table.
"Yes. It was very nice. How about you?" She seemed distracted by logging into her system, so the question was likely little more than idle small talk.
“It was fine.” Santana said as she rolled her eyes and took a sip of her coffee. She signed into skype and pouted when she remembered that California was three hours behind and Rachel would still be sleeping for a few hours.
"Stop frowning like that," Quinn muttered, pulling a contract out of her desk to go over. "It's distracting. Do you know what's going on with the Ellsworth deal? I know he wants a model, but I thought he was going to contact you with more details."
“He’s interested in that new girl that you signed. It’s a black and white shoot for a new designer... but I told you I don’t wanna be a manager or an agent so I don’t know why you keep sending these things to me.” Santana reminded her as she typed on her computer
"I sent it to you because until Rachel gets back, you're basically my assistant and I needed your assistance because I was going out of town," she settled her glasses on her nose before glancing up at Santana with a raised brow. "I know she's got you doing that ridiculous online thing, but I'm trying to keep you with enough work to justify keeping you as a full-time employee to my supervisors. Unless, of course, you can't handle it?"
“No, it’s fine,” Santana said as she tried not to glare, “But, don’t give me busy work... If you can’t keep me employed I can find another job. Don’t do me any favours.”
"I'm not doing you any favors." Quinn took her glasses off and folded them on her desk. "I need an assistant. I don't want to sort through the reams of mediocrity that tends to cross my desk to find one and to be perfectly honest, I doubt I could beg, borrow, or steal enough favors to get permission to hire one even if I did want to go to the trouble. You're available and already on the payroll. I'm not giving you busy work, Santana. I'm giving you work that I have too much on my plate to handle. It's called delegating. And it's also called trust, because if you screw up, I'm the one who'll have the mess on my resume."
“Wow, thanks for the vote of confidence.” She said sarcastically as she ran her hand through her long hair. “Whatever, I can handle it though I’m not sure why I even bother...” She mumbled as she focused back at the computer. “It’s fine, just maybe tell me next time you decide to change my job.”
"I haven't changed your job. I'm just borrowing you, the same as I've done in the past," Quinn pointed out. "You're still Rachel's assistant as far as HR is concerned. I just don't see why you're being so stubborn about getting a promotion."
“It’s fine, Quinn...” Santana said as she intensely stared at her blank screen. “I can’t change my hours, so don’t ask.”
"Why bother asking when I know you're obsessed with working with Rachel?" she muttered, her fingers flying over her keyboard.
“Rachel has nothing to do with my hours.” She said as she looked up with a glare, “My daughter, remember her? The little thing you ignore, makes me not able to work late.”
Quinn sighed, "I am well aware of your child, Santana. There's no need to shove her in my face."
“There’s no need to hate on a five year old.” Santana scoffed, “God, I hope your boyfriend never wants kids.”
"I don't hate her, Santana. And leave Ajay out of this." She scowled at Santana. "You know damn well why I can't be around her, so stop it."
“It’s been almost nine years,” Santana stated, “Get over it... I’m sure Beth is doing perfectly fine and living her life, maybe you should too.”
Quinn glared at her. "And I'm sure that Brooklyn would be perfectly fine and you'd be doing wonderfully if you'd gave her away too!"
“Is that what your problem is?” Santana snapped, “That I kept her?”
"Maybe it is! Did you ever think that maybe I wanted to keep my little girl, Santana?" Quinn's jaw was tight as she snapped, "That every time I see you and Brooklyn I think that I could have done at least as well as you did? Did you?"
“Did you suddenly forget that I was around when you were pregnant?” Santana said, “Do you forget that you’re the one who was counting the days in the beginning until you could give the baby up to Schue’s wife and re-join the Cheerios? That being the perfect little girl was more important that getting proper medical checkups for your baby?” She tried to control her emotions, “You didn’t want to keep her, Puck did, but you wanted to go back to your perfect life.”
"Don't do that! Don't act like my being scared meant I didn't want her! I was fifteen, Santana! And everyone shamed me for what happened, even you. Or don't you remember? I got as many check ups as I could afford!"
“That Finn could afford,” Santana reminded her, “Don’t rewrite history, Quinn. Everyone shunned you when they found out you lied, but even then everyone took you back with loving and open arms the minute you batted your pretty green eyes.”
"Don't you rewrite history! You weren't me and you don't know what I went through! And unlike you, I couldn't just leave to keep everyone from finding out. And don't act like you were my best friend when you found out, Santana. You got away from me as fast as you could and took Brittany right along with you. I'd thought you were my friends but I had to butter Mercedes up to have a home in the end."
“You got pregnant from my boyfriend, you remember the fact he and I were together when you slept with him right?” She scoffed, “It’s not like we were friends anyway, we only liked each other because of Cheerios and our bloated sense of self worth. I’m sorry I didn’t rally around you, but you know my family... they’re worse then yours in the high and mighty sense.” She took a long breath, “But it’s not like you stood up for me when I needed it so maybe we’re even.”
"Your boyfriend got me drunk and lied to me so he could fuck me, Santana, and you broke up with him on the first day of school anyway." She shook her head. "Whatever. It's not like it matters anyway." She scoffed angrily, turning back to her computer.
“Whatever.” Santana sighed, “Your issues are not mine or my daughters fault. I kept her because I couldn’t afford an abortion and I couldn’t get Mike's permission to give her up for adoption and I was homeless. So, yeah I fucking left to try to give my kid everything. But, look where you are and look where I am... You got to go to your fancy college with no debt... I live paycheck to paycheck and have a high school diploma... so congrats, Quinn. You win.”
"It's not a contest, Santana," Quinn muttered. "I'm glad you got to keep Brooklyn, but it hurts me to see her, so I avoid her. That's all."
“You need to grow up.” Santana said softly, “You have a boyfriend who is in love with you and is willing to give you the world. Don’t fuck it up because you're crazy.”
"Oh thank you so much for making judgements on my sanity, Santana," she scowled. "Did you somehow magically erase high school? Because I wish I could. I am aware that I have a problem regarding children. I am talking with Ajay about it and we will deal with it whenever we need to. My being able to be around your child or not does not in any way impact on my relationship with him."
“So, it’s just my child,” Santana swallowed, almost more offended now that she knew it was just her little girl what Quinn couldn’t be around.
"Do not make this about you, Santana! You know damn well Beth tore a massive hole in my life even if neither you nor anyone else wanted to help me deal with it!" She slapped a hand on her desk, lips tight to hold her emotions in check. "I had to go through all of that, getting pregnant because of the lies of your boyfriend who I didn't even want to have sex with at fifteen, getting ostracized everywhere, having a child and being allowed only two days before I had to give her up, and feeling like I had nothing but being yelled at by everyone about how much I was screwing up whenever I tried anything to cope?! I went through that not you! So forgive me if I'm not magically fucking better, Santana!"
“Bitch, you have no idea what I've gone through,” Santana snapped, closing her computer. “I’m sorry no one helped you get over your depression, that was shitty. But no one helped me either, like when I was getting forced out of the closet to the entire fucking state of Ohio. When jocks would corner me and threaten to make me normal on a daily basis.” She shoved her computer in her bag, “When my girlfriend was fucking Wheels and the Irish kid and everyone knew about it but me and no one told me. Or when I suddenly started not talking to anyone and got kicked out of my house because my Catholic parents couldn’t handle one more disappointment and I had to hitch to anywhere to get away.”
"Like hell, I stood up for you, if you remember," Quinn scowled. "Maybe Finn stopped giving a shit what I had to say, but I stood up for you in front of those jocks. I didn't know about Brittany, though I'm not at all surprised, and I was stuck in a wheelchair with my jaw wired shut for the rest of the school year! I was barely even in school and you talked to me in the hospital so how was I supposed to know!"
“I don’t even care, Quinn.” Santana sighed, “If you wanna keep playing the martyr, go ahead. I’m sorry for you if you can’t get help for yourself.”
"I'm so very sorry that my problems are such a hardship for you, Santana," she muttered, shaking her head. "I tried to help. It's not my fault you didn't talk to me. But you and I both know damn well if I'd asked you for help sophomore year, you'd just have laughed and used it to get ahead of me. I'm sorry you felt you had to run away but don't blame me that you were alone when you didn't even try to talk to me. You know I would have understood what you were going through."
“Like you talked to me when you got pregnant. I had to find out from Puck with everyone else.” She said softly, “Your problems are a hardship for me when my daughter asks why Auntie Quinn hates her, so yeah... maybe I’m taking this too seriously.” She scoffed as she finished gathering her things.
"Stop acting like you wouldn't have used it against me if I'd told you. If I'd told you it would have gotten out that much faster and maybe I would have had to run away because I wouldn't have had anywhere to live." Quinn shook her head. "Just... whatever. I didn't ask to be her aunt. I don't hate her and I'm sorry my thinking of Beth every time I see her hurts her, but the two of you have Rachel - and I'm fully aware you're talking again, so don't act so shocked - so you don't need me anyway."
“We don’t need you,” Santana said as she stood up, “You can go and be in your own emotional bubble and never deal with your problems. But, don’t ever think about coming around my kid because I’m not letting someone like you hurt her. She doesn’t deserve it.” She pulled on her bag and looked at her pointedly, “And yes, I’m talking to Rachel again... no thanks to you.”
"Get out of my office," she whispered, staring at her keyboard. "I don't need your judgement. You've got what you wanted so just go."
“I can’t do this...” Santana said, “I can’t be around you knowing that you can’t stand the most important part of my life...” She sniffled, “I can’t... I don’t think I can do this.”
"Then don't be around me. Just take Rachel and stay away," she blinked, not wanting to look at Santana. "Why not take Ajay while you're at it? He loves kids after all..."
“Stop being petty, you ruined your relationship with Rachel... I had nothing to do with that.” Santana scoffed, “I can quit... or just work when she’s in New York, but I don’t think I can work with you if you hate me.”
"I don't hate you!" she snapped, rubbing at her eyes. "And I was doing what was best for her career. She wanted me to be her manager, not me. She was my friend. Now I guess she's just a client... so don't you hurt her. Please..."
“She’s still your friend, but she’s pissed... she’ll get over it.” Santana rolled her eyes, “I’m not being mean, but Quinn... for the love of God, please go to therapy. Not everything is a personal attack on you.”
"I could say the same about you, you know," she scoffed. "Because going to a shrink is so going to help me. What about you? Where's your therapist?"
“I’ll go to one when you do,” She challenged.
Quinn eyes narrowed. "Is this some kind of fucked up bet, Santana?"
“I’ll go, when you go.” She shrugged, “What could it hurt?”
"Our reputations?" she laughed humorlessly. "Fine. You find one, I'll pay. Or are you going to chicken out?"
“This is New York, everyone and their brother goes to a shrink,” She shrugged, sitting back down and pulling out her computer. “I’ll see what's in the insurance plan.”
"Ugh. Don't confine yourself to that. The mental health part of it sucks. I've got money saved. It's not like I do anything but work most of the time anyway."
Santana shrugged and started quietly searching for a therapist for both her and Quinn to go to.
"Remember," Quinn pointed out, "I'm only in this as long as you can hack it."
“Whatever, blondie, you’re going... so if that means I gotta suck it up? I’ll do it.”
"We'll see."
When the chimes of the computer started ringing through Rachel’s apartment, Brooklyn squeaked in excitement.
“MOMMY!” SHe exclaimed, as she ran from the bedroom where she was just getting dressed after her bath over to the couch and bounced onto it. “Come fast it’s ringing!” she said as she looked at the computer trying to figure out how to answer it.
“Baby, just press the green button like I showed you last time.” Santana called as she tried to pick up the mess from the bath. Brooklyn bit her lip and used her finger and carefully put it on the touchpad and moved it up to the green button and pressed it.
“I did it!” She exclaimed as she picture filled the screen, “RACHIE!” she smiled a toothy grin.
"Hi, sweetie!" Rachel smiled up at her, waving. "Are you almost ready for bed?"
“Yes,” she said, “I just took a bath with my duckies.”
"That's great. All nice and clean? How was camp today?"
“Good, I mades you a bracelet and mommy’s gonna mail it to you.” Brooklyn smiled as she sat to the front of the couch when Santana came up slid behind her and pulled Brooklyn on to her lap.
“Hey Rachel.” Santana smiled, as she started to brush her daughter’s hair.
"Hello, Santana," she smiled up at her. "The bracelet sounds lovely, Brooklyn. I'll be sure to wear it as often as I can, okay?"
“Cool, How is Cali-fornia.” she said slowly making sure she said it right.
"That's really good pronunciation, Brooklyn!" Rachel cheered, "You've been working hard, haven't you. It's really pretty and warm and sunny here, but I wish you were here with your mommy so I could give the two of you big hugs to let you know how much I miss you."
Santana smiled over Brooklyn's head, “Only seven weeks ‘til we comes and see you!”
"That's wonderful! I can't wait until you're both here and I can show you around." She smiled at the two of them. "Maybe if your mom is okay with it, we can all go out to the ocean one day to swim. What do you say, Santana?"
“Sounds like fun,” Santana smiled. “I’ll remember to pack our bathing suits,” she winked as she ran the comb through her hair.
"Now there's something to look forward to," Rachel teased. "Anything fun coming up in camp, Brooklyn? You're still learning the violin, right?"
“Yes, but it's hard...” she pouted, “Makes my fingers and arms hurt when I play.”
"Everything is hard when you first start, sweetie. It was hard for me to dance when I first started and playing the piano made me tired, but I kept working on it and now where am I?" she grinned up at Brooklyn.
“Famous?” She smiled, “I keep practicing, I wants to be good and sound pretty when I play.”
"Good for you," Rachel laughed. "And when you get better, we'll play together, right?"
“Yes and mommy can sing,” she smiled over her shoulder and Santana kissed her nose.
"I like the sound of that," Rachel smiled. "Are you heading to bed soon, sweetie? Want me to sing to you?"
“Yes, please,” she said, “I go get in bed.” she blew Rachel a kiss and scampered into the newly converted bedroom. Santana looked at Rachel and smiled.
“You’re beautiful,” she said as she looked at her girlfriend.
"And you're wonderful," Rachel agreed, smiling softly up at Santana. "I'm incredibly blessed to have the two of you in my life. Let's go sing her to sleep, okay?"
Santana picked up the computer and brought it into the bedroom. Brooklyn was lying in her bed, cuddled in her blanket with her arms around her bear. Santana sat the computer on the nightstand and sat next her her little girl and rubbed her back. “Alright, sleepy time, beautiful.”
Brooklyn nodded and yawned, “Rachie? Can you sing the rainbow song?”
"Sure, Brooklyn," she smiled at the sleepy little girl through the screen. "Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high. There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby," she sang softly.
The little girl's eyes closed as the song came to a close, Santana rubbed her back for a few more minutes before turning on her nightlight and picking up the computer and closing her door part way. Santana put the computer on the kitchen counter and continued doing dishes. “How was your day, Rach?”
"Long, busy," she smiled sheepishly, listening to Santana work, "lonely. Take your pick."
“I’m sorry, do you have plans for tonight? It’s only like 6 for you...” she said as she reached up to put some dishes on the top shelf.
"Does talking to you count?" She smiled lopsidedly, "I don't feel like going out and I'd... like to spend some time with you, if that's alright?"
“Sounds perfect, why don’t you go and get some dinner then text me when you get back?” Santana smiled, “That way you aren’t starving and all my errands will be done.”
"Sounds like a plan," Rachel smiled happily, a light blush coloring her cheeks. "I'll text you in a little while, okay?"
“Talk to you soon.” Santana smiled and closed her laptop and continued to clean the apartment up from the tornado that was Brooklyn.
It was nearly an hour later before Rachel was able to send her text to let Santana know she was ready. Staring at her phone, she wondered what to send with her lower lip caught between her teeth. She wanted to engage Santana in a manner that would hopefully bring about an outcome of sexual release, but it wasn't exactly something she was very experienced with. Finally she took a deep breath and began typing.
Santana, do let me know if this is untoward and I promise I will cease immediately, but I feel that it would be prurient to inquire as to the nature of your undergarments at this juncture.
Her lip firmly caught between her teeth and a blush darkening her cheeks, she hit send.
Santana was laying on the couch reading when she picked up her cellphone and laughed, That was a very long winded way of asking me if I was wearing panties right?
Well, yes. I was also hoping to ascertain the color and style though. Please don't laugh. I've never done this before.
She was blushing as she hit send again.
Well, they look extraordinarily like my skin tone...
Rachel blinked at the phone confusedly.
Does that mean you are not wearing any panties or does that mean that you're wearing nude toned ones?
Nothing but Santana, baby
Oh. Oh my. That's quite daring of you, Santana. I wish I was there to witness this phenomenon in person.
Rachel was flushed, pulling off her blouse to try and combat the heat caused by thinking of her girlfriend in such a state.
Santana chuckled softly, getting up, turning off the lights and checking the lock on the door before heading into her bedroom - into Rachel’s bedroom, she reminded herself. She closed the door and laid down on her stomach.
I never wear panties after work.
I believe I shall keep that in mind. Rachel blushed as she sent it, following it a few minutes later with another text.
I'm in the process of changing for bed now, though I'm currently debating on if I should slumber in a natural state or don pajamas. Do you have any suggestions?
Stay naked, Santana typed out as she closed her eyes and thought about Rachel wandering around her rental condo in nothing. It’s a nice thought
I thought that might be your vote on the subject, she chuckled as she typed it out. Oh! I made a special purchase today to help relax at night. Shall I send you a photo?
Special purchase? I’m intrigued.
Rachel blushed as she pulled her brand-new vibrating dildo out of the bag and snapped a picture of it. Sending it to Santana, she quickly followed it with another text.
To help relax me when you're not here to help. Might experiment with it tonight.
“Holy shit.” Santana breathed as she looked at the picture, she licked her lips and moved further up the bed to lay in the pillows.
God... Rachel...fuck... how big is that?
A little over six inches she sent, quickly following it with, I wonder if I should acquire a harness at some point for it. So you could assist me in its use at a future date?
god yes, i’d love that. Santana moaned softly at the thought.
Rachel stretched out on her bed nude, examining the toy. Picking up her phone, she typed in another text.
It's fairly large. I may need additional lubrication. Sending the text,, she reached down between her legs, eyes widening when she realized she was soaked already, her fingers coming away glistening with arousal. Or maybe not...
Can I watch? Santana was nervous about her question, but she couldn’t stop herself from asking.
Watch? She looked at the phone for a moment curiously, You wish to watch me engaging in self-pleasure while thinking of you, Santana? Wouldn't that be counter-productive given your noted ability to not be able to achieve climax without assistance?
I still wanna watch you get off... just turn on your computer. Santana texted before running and grabbing the laptop off the kitchen counter and closing her door again. She opened it up and signed back into skype. She unbuttoned the front of the gingham shirt she was wearing as she waited for Rachel to sign on.
Getting up and getting her computer - while trying not to make a mess anywhere, she set it up on the end of the bed and bit her lips with a shy smile before spreading her legs and hitting the command to log on. When Santana's image came on the screen, she had two fingers working through her wet folds, stroking herself while her other hand pinched and twisted at a nipple.
"Hi," she whispered, almost shyly except for what she was doing.
“Hey,” Santana breathed out, as her eyes went to where Rachel’s hand was. “Wow...” She said as she watched. “That might be the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
"Today? Or ever?" she asked shyly, the hand that had been fondling her breast moving down to hold herself open so Santana could see better. "You should realize that you're the only person I would ever even consider doing this for, Santana."
“I like knowing that,” She breathed, as she ran her hand over her own abs, “and ever... sexiest thing ever.”
"This is your fault you know," she laughed nervously, licking her lips as her fingers pinched and tugged on her clit. "I can't help but think about you and how you could make me feel when you kissed me, let alone when you," her breath caught as she twisted her clit slightly, "when you touched me... Makes me so wet that I have to carry a change of panties in my purse just in case I accidentally imagine it."
Santana smiled, “Yeah? We should get you new memories someday soon.” She whispered as she slid her hand up to her own breast under her shirt.
"I'd like that," she panted, reaching for her new toy. "Do you think I should use this?" she asked shyly, bringing it into the frame.
“In a minute.” She said, “Don’t want you to come too soon.” She said as she slid her own shirt off and sat bare chested in front of her girlfriend.
Rachel choked out a laugh. "You do that and you don't want me to come too soon?" she laughed incredulously. "Tell me what to do," she whispered after a moment. "Tell me, Santana..."
“Touch your breasts,” Santana said, “touch your nipples and pretend it’s me.”
She nodded, closing her eyes and running both hands up her body to pinch and tug on her nipples, inadvertently leaving a trail of arousal glistening on her body from her core to her breasts. "G-god, Santana... feels so good..."
Santana watched, entranced by the images in front of her. “So sexy,” She murmured, “take the dildo and run it up and down your slit.”
"You sure?" she whispered, reaching over blindly for it and fumbling around until she managed to find it, dragging it down her body until the tip was just running along her folds.
“Does it feel good?” Santana asked, “Do you want to feel it vibrating against your clit?”
"So good," she whispered, reaching down with her free hand to part her folds and slide it through them until it was glistening with her juices. "I want you to fuck me with it, baby..."
“God, I want too... but you’re gonna have to do it for me okay?” Santana husked, “Slide the tip inside.”
Rachel's breath caught as she eased the tip of the dildo just inside her entrance. "G-god, Santana," she gasped, pushing it a little further in, "I'm definitely buying a harness for you..."
“What... what if want you to use it on me?” She said as she leaned back against Rachel’s pillows. “In this bed... your bed.”
"God," she whispered, pushing it all the way in with a low groan, "Can I? C-can I take you like that? M-make love to you like that?"
Santana whimpered as she watched the gold coloured item disappear into her lover's core. “Yes,” she said, “I’d like that. Tell me how it feels, Rachel.”
"Feels," she panted, shifting the object in her core, "feels full... like I'm being stretched. Bigger than your fingers... deeper..."
“Start sliding inside slow,” She whispered, “Think that I’m guiding it.”
Rachel whimpered softly as she started slowly pumping in and out of herself. "God... I wish I could feel you against me... your mouth on my breasts, biting at me..."
“Kissing your breath away?” Santana asked shyly.
"Please," she breathed, the microphone barely able to pick it up. "I miss you so much, Santana..."
“I miss you too,” she replied, “I wish you were here with me...”
"Or," she gasped, her body starting to tremble as she fucked herself while they talked, "you here. Just... just with me... can I... can I turn it on, Santana? I need more..."
“Yes, turn it on... turn it on and go faster.” Santana demanded.
Rachel nodded jerkily as she fumbled with the switch for the vibrator, the low hum filling the room as she started moving faster. Low whimpers and pants filled the room as she rocked closer and closer to climax. "G-god... S-san," she panted, moaning, "Santana..."
“Move closer to the screen,” Santana asked, “wanna see.”
She swallowed harshly as she inched closer. "If... if I ruin my computer, I will be... be very wroth, S-santana..."
“I’ll buy you a new one,” Santana smiled, “just put your legs around it so you don't kick it off the bed.”
"Th-that's not what I'm worried about," she admitted with a blush as she hooked her ankles around the laptop. "I'm... I'm so close..."
“Go deeper,” Santana whimpered, “Please.”
"C-can't... b-bottoming out," she whispered, "I'm... G-god, Santana... I think I'm gonna... gonna," she moaned low in her throat as her body started spasming, "C-can't hold on..."
“Let go, baby.” Santana whispered, “Come for me.”
"Gonna," she gasped, her hips bucking, "gonna ... god... Santana, I don't want to ruin my laptop!" She scooted frantically back on the bed, pushing the laptop back as her body released in a wet gush.
Santana beamed as she saw the dark spot in the bed forming. “Baby,” She smiled as she watched her lover's face. “I wish I was there to lick you clean.”
Rachel could only lay there, panting as her body tried to recover. "I," she gasped, her hands lying limply on her thighs, dildo still humming softly in her core before she managed to fumble it off again. "I... I wish that too."
“Bring the computer up near your head when you can.” Santana said softly, pulling her shirt back on and crawling under the covers. She put the computer on Rachel’s side of the bed and waited for the other woman to do the same.
Tired, the lights in the room dimming at the sun set outside, she dragged the laptop up to rest on the pillows beside her. She breathed heavily, trying to regain her equilibrium as she carefully pulled the dildo out with a low whimper and set it aside to wash off. "Hi," she whispered, smiling tiredly when she got back under control. "I really wish you were here to hold me right now, Santana."
“I wish I would be there to hold you ever every night.” Santana whispered, “I’m not happy you're gone.”
"I'm not either," she admitted softly, rolling to face the screen more directly with a sad smile. "I see a million things I want to share with you and Brooklyn every day if feels like, but I can't because you're back home. It's so lonely out here, Santana. I miss you and Brooklyn so much..."
“She misses you too... I had a fight with Quinn today, it was bad...” she admitted, “I was lashing out at her.”
"Oh no, Santana," Rachel bit her lip worriedly, her hand making an abortive gesture towards the screen as if to reach out and stroke Santana's cheek, but stopping part way when she realized what she was doing. "Is everything okay? Do you need me to talk to her?"
“I think it's fine now, but... like we each said some bad things.” she whispered, “I hate her for rejecting Brooke...”
"I don't think she's rejecting her so much as avoiding her because it's so painfully obvious being around her hurts," Rachel sighed. "I wish I could have gotten her to go to therapy for her depression following Beth's birth when we were together but that was just another thing we fought about..."
“She’s going to one in three days.” Santana said softly, grabbing one of Brooklyn’s bears that was in her bed and cuddled it.
"Seriously?" Rachel's smile was unabashedly happy for the first time since she'd gotten on the plane to LA. "You got her to go? Santana, you are absolutely amazing!"
“Yeah, we made a deal,” Santana sighed, “she needs to go or she’ll ruin things with Ajay.”
"You are my hero, Santana Lopez," she cheered. "You have no idea how much I want to kiss you this very instant! I don't know how you did it, but you just single-handedly managed to achieve what I spend four years trying to do. I love you so much right now!"
“Just right now?” Santana muttered, “But, I told her if she went and got help... I would.”
"Not just right now, don't be silly, but you are completely my favorite person in the universe at this moment," Rachel smiled at her brightly. "Even more than Barbra or Patti LuPone. If you need assistance, be assured that I will support you as fully as I can in any possible fashion you require. It's just, she's need help for so long and I've never been able to get her to see that it was destroying her to not address it. Thank you so much, Santana. I think you may have saved our friend's life by doing this."
“Yeah, its not a big deal...hopefully she’ll let it work.” Santana sighed and hugged the bear, feeling totally alone despite her daughter in the apartment and Rachel talking to her.
"Mmm, Santana, will you do something for me?" Rachel asked softly, looking at her. "Will you please go and retrieve my bottle of body spray from the bathroom and spray my pillow with in and give it a big hug right now? Because if the shooting schedule would just let up a little, I'd fly home to see you... and I might totally have stolen your old WMHS t-shirt to put on a pillow here so I could hug it when I miss you too much..."
“I already did before I went to bed...” Santana admitted, “Your apartment is very dark at night...”
"I know. I don't have a lot of windows. But I have a night light if you want it? It's in my dresser because I don't use it all the time."
“I put it in Brooklyn’s room...” Santana sighed, “It's not a big deal...” she looked away, “Brooklyn likes having her own room.”
"I bet. But what about you?" she asked softly. "Are you okay in my room? You know, you can change things to suit you, I don't mind..."
“Your room is fine... Nothing to change.”
"I can think of something to change," Rachel murmured softly. "My not being in it with you..."
Santana nodded, her eyes closing to try to prevent the tears that were tying to escape. “I.. I don’t like being alone.”
"I know how it feels," she admitted. "I wish I could walk in the door right now. Just walk in and crawl into bed with you and never let you go..."
“I... I just... I... I know Brooklyn’s next door but I feel like I did when... before her.” she sniffled, “I don’t like being all alone.”
"You're not. I promise you're not," Rachel whispered, her voice thick with emotion. "Because I love you. And even if we're physically separated, I'm with you, okay? You can't be alone because you have Brooklyn and you have me... that has to count for something, doesn't it?"
“I know...” Santana said, “It helps some... but doesn’t make everything go away...”
"I know it doesn't. But it'll get better," she whispered, her mind half made up for the crazy plan brewing in her head. "I promise it will."
“I hope... maybe this shrink thing might be for the best.” She sighed sadly.
"Maybe. You'll tell me how everything goes?" she asked hopefully. "You know, anything you need to do, I'll support you. Right?"
“I will. I don’t go until Monday when Brooke’s at camp.” she cuddled into her bear and watched Rachel for a minute. “Will you stay on until I fall asleep?”
"Of course," she whispered with a soft smile, "there's no one I'd rather fall asleep with than you, after all. Want me to sing for you?"
“No, that’s for Brooklyn... Tell me about something I don’t know.” She asked softly.
"Like what?" Rachel smiled lopsidedly, "You've known me practically my whole life, but ask and I'll answer. I'll tell you anything you want to know, Santana."
“Whats your favourite color?” Santana asked tiredly.
"Pink... or sometimes yellow. As you'd know if you looked around my apartment," she teased gently. "I'm very partial to the color gold as well, if you remember. Unfortunately though, there's an aspect of my life in which I'm not a gold star. I really should have taken your advice about Finn, Santana. The only good thing about that affair was it was at least short."
“Yeah... I didn’t want you to deal with that then fucking Stutters opened her yap...” She said, “But, I’m not a gold star either and I’ve been with more guys than you so you’re closer.”
"I think it's just the first that counts," Rachel suggested. "Do you suppose the data could be slightly skewed if I admitted that I um," she blushed licking her lips, her voice softening, "imagined you in his place to get through it? I know I shouldn't have, but it was the only way I could climax..."
“I’m impressed you even got there with him... but, it's okay. Now you know that I’m like a million times better than Tub-o-lard.” She said with a smirk, “He’s gross and smelled bad.”
"I believe you are vastly underestimating your abilities in the bedroom, Santana," Rachel smirked. "And honestly, if it weren't for that time in New York when I accidentally walked in on you while you were getting out of the shower I doubt I would have even managed to become sufficiently aroused for the entire incident to be at least moderately comfortable. I honestly have pity for whatever woman he manages to ensnare later in life as I'm not entirely certain he knows how to use that particular appendage as anything more than a tool to write his name in the snow with."
Santana chuckled, “He’s not important anymore... first times are always bad.” she said as she nuzzled the bear.
"You're important," she murmured softly, watching her, "I think maybe if I'd waited for you... well, it might not have been good, but I doubt it would have been bad." She chuckled softly, "I had such a crush on you for so long..."
“You also had a crush on Quinn, flatterer.” Santana said, “But, if I wasn’t so scared of being gay... then so wrapped up in her... I would have liked you back.”
"That's sweet," Rachel smirked, "but I'm not sure you would have wanted to be as open as I would have been back then. You do know I tried to convince Kurt to start at Gay/Lesbian Alliance will me right?"
“You’re silly,” Santana smiled, “and no, I wouldn’t have been okay with being out... look where that got me when I finally gave in.”
She laughed softly, "I think you could have convinced me to see things your way if you put your mind to it. There were rumors about a certain janitors' closet after all," she winked, teasing her.
Santana raised her eyebrow, “What's this?"
"Or perhaps the choir room at lunch? No one ever went in there while I was practicing," Rachel continued, rubbing her chin as if she was musing over the various private places in their high school. "Though I must say my inner performer is tickled by the idea of the auditorium, while my inner private self thinks that would have been a terrible idea as anyone could have walked in..."
“I’ve had sex in there... not as fun as you’d think... really dusty.” Santana mused, “But the acoustics are great.”
"My thoughts exactly, Santana," she grinned at her, then sobered. "Frankly, if you'd asked, I would have been hard pressed not to surrender my virginity to you, Santana. Or well, Quinn, but you had been a crush of mine for far longer so you had precidence."
“Well... I call dibs on you for awhile longer so I win.” she yawned, “I wish... I wish i could wake up to you tomorrow.”
"Waking up would be difficult," Rachel admitted, now convinced that her crazy idea was necessary, "but I completely share the sentiment. Go to sleep, love. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"
She nodded, her eyes drooping closed. “Miss you so much.” she mumbled as her face tucked behind the teddy bear as she fell asleep.
"More than words can say," Rachel whispered, blowing a kiss towards the image of her sleeping girlfriend before shutting down the connection and moving to set things in motion to make her plan come to fruition.
"Hello, Jan?" she smiled into the phone as she got up and moved to get cleaned up and dressed. "Something's come up at home. Can I get a couple days to take care of it? Promise I'll be back in Sunday night."
Chapter Twenty-Five