I Know You Want Me - Chapter Twenty-Eight

[thelastpen]

Title: I Know You Want Me
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: Hard NC-17
Length: 154,229
Spoilers: This is AU. No Beth. No Lucy. Puck/Rachel lasted for a few months instead of a week and Jesse is a bigger ass than canon. Also Santana's promiscuity implied in the canon is not in effect for this fic for reasons that will be made evident.
Pairing: Rachel/Santana, Puck/Quinn
Summary: Rachel's longed after someone since the first day they met, but will a big secret bring them together or destroy them?
Warnings (highlight to read): Gender Identity Disorder, pregnancy, angst, topping, language, voyeurism, dub-con, non-con, anal, oral, vaginal, public, fisting, size-kink, and talk of self harm

Chapter 28

Santana had AJ bundled up in a blanket as he sat in the grocery cart. He sucked happily on his pacifier as his mami pushed him slowly. "Babe, we need to get some Diet Sprite for my dad," she remarked as they went through the aisle. Miguel got called into an emergency at the clinic and he assigned the young mothers to get groceries. It was a few days after Christmas and the girls would be heading back to New Orleans and back to their normal lives soon enough.

Rachel smiled up at Santana, peeling off her gloves to tuck them into her pockets as she warmed up. "I remember. I'll go get it if you remember my veggie chips this time," she teased. She'd relaxed and been happier since Santana had accepted her ring, taking that nervousness off of her shoulders.

"We can just go up and down the aisles," she smiled. "That way we won't forget anything again and then we can grab some stuff for the plane trip back." She pulled a bunch of bananas in the cart. "Ooh... Yeah, can we go to Breadstix for lunch okay? I really wanna have some 'Stix if it's cool?"

Rachel rolled her eyes and laughed, "Only if you promise not to verbally assault any of the waitstaff into filling our luggage with breadsticks." She looked around for a second before shrugging and slipping a hand into the crook of Santana's elbow. Who cared who saw now? They weren't stuck here anymore.

"Family outing with our baby." She smiled, "They can suck it." She continued walking and putting a few things in the cart.

Rachel sighed happily and rested her head on Santana's shoulder as they walked. "I would still prefer you don't berate someone making minimum wage into overcompensating you with crusty baked goods. I'm sure Aaron doesn't need the example quite so early in life."

"I can't promise because I love my Breadstix." She smiled and pushed the cart to the next aisle. "Do we need diapers? Yeah? We always need them right?" She didn't even notice the two men at the end of the aisle starring at them.

"Yes, we need diapers, but not a big package since we won't be in town much longer." Rachel pointed out a smaller package of the brand they got down in New Orleans.

"R-Rachel?" One of the men at the end of the aisle spoke hesitantly, taking a step closer. "Is that you?"

Santana grabbed her son's diapers and threw them into the cart. When she heard her fiancee's name she looked up and scrunched her face up. They were the men that she saw on Christmas eve that her dad pointed out. She instinctively moved closer to her lover and put her hand on her back.

Rachel had been smiling when she started to look up, thinking it might have been one of their friends from Glee, but the smile faded away as she realized it was her fathers coming down the aisle towards them. She wanted to scream or cry or just run away, but she took comfort from Santana's hand on her back and managed an expression of polite disinterest. "I'm sorry. Do I know you?"

"Rachel..." Santana whispered as she clutched onto the girl's top. She looked at the men and didn't know what to do. She wanted to punch them in the face. She couldn't understand how they could willingly leave their daughter to fend for herself, to have a baby by herself and not even send a card or call. She hated them more than anything in the world. The two sets of people just stared at each other for a moment before AJ screeched because he was trying to reach for his moms and no one was paying attention. "Sorry, mijo," Santana whispered as she carefully lifted him up and held him close as she stood behind Rachel.

The man who had spoken smiled confusedly, gesturing to himself and his taller partner. "Rachel, it's us. It's your dads. You know who we are."

Rachel just blinked at them for a moment before turning to make sure her son was okay. "I'm afraid I don't have a father, let alone two. You must be mistaking me for someone else. Now if you don't mind..."

"Who's the kid, little star?" The bigger of the two spoke up, using a nickname from her childhood, "Your fiancee's?"

"He's my son," she answered sharply, "Now if you'll excuse me, my family and I have our grocery shopping to finish."

"Baby," Santana sighed before readjusting her son on her hip. "Mister Berrys... I understand that you're confused but really I don't think that right now - after all you've put her through - that you have any right to question her," she said as she looked at them. "If you had any contact with your daughter in the last year... hell the last five years you would know who our son is."

The smaller man scowled at Santana, "Look, you little," his eyes raked over her, lingering on the baby on her hip, "trollop, you may have pulled the wool over her eyes, but we can see you for what you are. How dare you corrupt or innocent little girl into consorting with a...a hussy like you?!"

Rachel eyes flashed angrily and she took a step towards them. "How dare she? How dare you?! How dare you intrude on me with demands in as if you have some right to me?! I don't know you and you don't know me or my family which you have so rudely insulted so I suggest you leave before I request the store summon the police for a more formal suggestion!"

"Rachel, calm down." she pulled her back. "Look, sirs, it's not my fault you might be the most neglectful parents I've ever seen so you need to step off."

"They're not my parents, Santana." Rachel snapped, turning her back on the men and ignoring the hurt in the taller man's eyes. "I haven't had any parents since I was thirteen. Ignore them. They're obviously delusional." Sliding her arm back into Santana's, she tried tugging her back down the aisle away from the men.

Santana nodded and turned them around to start to walk down the aisle. "Do you wanna go to the car? I can finish up quick," she didn't want her fiancee to be upset. "Or we can just forget this stuff and bounce now."

Rachel smiled up at Santana gratefully. "Have I mentioned how much I love you lately? Because it seems like I keep losing track the number grows so fast." She squeezed her arm and shook her head, "No, we'll finish our errand so we can spend the rest of the day just being together. They can't ruin anything as long as I know you're there to support me."

Santana handed their son into his other mom's arms, knowing how perfect he was for making everything feel better. "Okay, I'll always be here to support you." She smiled and pushed the cart to the next aisle pulling some more items on the list into the cart.

Rachel cooed at AJ and bounced him in her arms to make him laugh. "That's my boy!" She danced about in the aisle with him, humming along with the store music. "Oh! Santana, get some more of your dad's teabags. I noticed he was almost out when I was making your coffee this morning."

"Alright," Santana nodded as she pulled the green tea box into the car before grabbing some more non-dairy creamer. She watched Rachel with a fond smile before continuing to push the cart. She grabbed a roasting chicken from the meat case, "Baby, I'm gonna make a roast chicken for my dad tonight. It's his favorite and we can do the sweet potato mash that you like and some brussel sprouts. Does that sound good?" She asked as she triple bagged the meat and put it in the cart. She looked to make sure she had the things they would need in the cart.

Rachel glanced at Santana with a smile. "Sure, that sounds nice. I'll make one of those soy burgers your dad was so nice to get for me so you can enjoy with him, okay?"

"Back to vegan when we get home for me though," Santana smiled and kissed her cheek, "Do you think AJ would want sweet potatoes? They're tasty and soft," she asked as she thought as she saw Rachel's fathers watching them again.

"You are entirely too good to me, sweetheart," Rachel grinned up at her, always pleased to be reminded of how her fiancée had taken to her lifestyle. "Sure, he might like that," she held AJ up higher. "Would you like to try sweet potatoes, sweetie? Huh?" She bounced him a bit before turning to Santana again, "Just make them plain and we can mix them with breast milk for moisture."

"Sounds tasty," she beamed, "We can see if he likes it, I bet he will." Santana smiled and looked at her girl's breasts before moving away. "Okay, more shopping."

Rachel rolled her eyes and ignored the men following behind them. "You just want some for yourself," she laughed softly, leaning up to kiss her cheek as she caught up to her again. "Maybe that could be arranged later."

Santana bit her lip and nodded before bashfully going and pulling some of the frozen vegetables into her basket. "You're bad."

"No, just attracted to my beautiful fiancée," she smiled up at her, picking up a bag of frozen sweet potatoes and putting it in the cart. "And I have no problem with expressing that attraction and willingness to have said beautiful fiancée physically express her personal attraction towards me." She grinned impishly at her lover before heading off down the aisle. "Do you think your dad would like it if I made a pie for dessert? I was thinking perhaps peach?"

"How about strawberry rhubarb?" She asked as she watched her. "He doesn't like peach," She called out softly as she caught up. "Is that okay?" She picked out a container of vanilla ice cream and one of coconut milk ice cream for Rachel.

"That sounds perfect." Rachel smiled at her, walking backward down the aisle so she could watch Santana. "Perhaps with a streusel crust? We should be able to use frozen fruit too."

The darker girl nodded and grabbed the fruit they needed from he freezer. "Want to make pie crust or buy a pre-made one?" She looked at the different ones and back to her soon to be wife. She noted that they were still being followed she looked at the bed and groaned, "Seriously... Can you just back off? Please?"

"I need to make it from scratch to make sure it's vegan," Rachel pointed out, looking into the freezer of frozen fruit. "What?" She leaned out with a bag of strawberries and one of rhubarb, looking confused, "Back off of wha...?" She frowned when she spotted the men again. "Santana, we have everything now, right? How about we just go now? The atmosphere in this location is entirely off-putting now."

"Fuck it lets bounce," she sighed and pushed the cart to the que. she more or less threw the items on the belt and sighed, "Lets just get home I'm not hungry anymore," she said as she took the bags and put them in the cart. she swiped her dad's bank card and looked to Rachel. "Come on," she said as she put Aaron's hat back on his head.

Rachel sighed, heading out to open up the car's trunk and start helping Santana unload bags into the trunk. "I'm sorry, Santana." Her shoulders slumped as she worked, obviously unhappy their day out had been ruined by her past deciding to show up.

"Honestly? I'd rather go home and put the baby to bed and get rid of some of this... aggression with you," she said looking up from where she was strapping the baby into his car seat. "If that's okay with you."

Rachel smiled lopsidedly, reaching for her lover's hand. "When have I ever not been willing to help you," she smirked, "relieve aggression?"

Santana smiled before putting the rest of the bags in the car and got into the car and drove back to her dad's.

After putting the groceries away, Santana rocked her son to sleep before flopping on her bed with a growl. Rachel had taken to working on the pie while Santana was putting the baby to sleep so the darker girl was alone with her thoughts.

As soon as she got everything together and the pie in the oven, she set the timer and headed upstairs to her lover. "Santana?" she whispered as she came in the door. Seeing the girl curled up on the bed, she sighed softly, assuming she was napping. Coming in, she crawled on the bed and curled up behind her. "I'm so sorry our day out was ruined," she whispered, unhappy that she'd been forced to deal with her fathers the way she had and Santana had been dragged into the middle of it.

"Not sleeping," Santana said as she rolled over and looked at her girl. "You couldn't control that happening," she explained. "They just suck and I kinda hope that they get kicked in the balls. I wish I could change it."

"You couldn't help it any more than I could." Rachel wrapped her arms around Santana and hugged her close. "I'm glad you wish you could change it though. You're kind of amazing and I love you so much for putting up with my drama."

"I mean we got a lot of drama between us so it's okay." she smiled softly and kissed her. "It's what it is... We'll go home and forget all of this in a few days, okay?"

"Okay," Rachel smiled, resting her forehead against Santana's. "Now I seem to recall you wanting to relieve some aggression? Tell me how I can help you, love."

Santana's hands automatically moved to push up Rachel's top. She pushed it up and over the girl's breasts before she flicked the front clasp of her bra. Without a word Santana just kissed her sternum then over to the swell of her breast before taking one of her lover's nipples between her lips.

Rachel, for her part, didn't protest or complain in anyway. She just rolled to her back and gently stroked her fingers through her lover's hair. She moaned softly at the feeling of the girl's lips, teeth and tongue working over her slightly full feeling breasts. Knowing that AJ wouldn't need to be fed before she became uncomfortably full, she let her lover suckle as long as she wanted, doing her best to ignore the wetness forming between her thighs.

Santana didn't suckle often, she mostly just liked having the connection to her lover. She liked feeling her fiancee's heartbeat under her lips. She drank some, baffled by Rachel's womanhood. The fact she could produce sustenance for their child blew Santana's mind.

Rachel breathed heavily, her fingers dragging along Santana's scalp. She whimpered, doing her best to keep her voice down in case Miguel came home or AJ woke up. "I love when you touch me like this," she whispered, happily focusing on the feminine feeling of Santana's upper body pressing against her abdomen and the firm softness of her lips.

After a few minutes of intermittent drinking, Santana pulled away. She licked her lips and kissed down the girl's stomach to the hem of her skirt. "I'm gonna lick you," she explained as she slid to the floor to kneel and pulled Rachel's thighs closer to her head as she stripped the tights off of lean legs.

"O-oh," Rachel whispered, pushing up to help Santana move her as best she could while sliding her skirt up to bunch around her waist. "P-please," she murmured, propping herself up on her elbows and spreading her thighs wider so she could watch the dark head of her lover move between her legs, her body shivering softly in anticipation.

Santana quickly swiped her long, warm tongue against the other girl's hot core. She moaned at the amount of wetness that was waiting for her. She explored slowly, never making contact with the girl's clit as she gently cleaned up some of the juices that had spread out of Rachel's pussy.

Rachel whimpered, distractedly combing her fingers through Santana's hair as she licked her. "Don't tease, baby, please don't tease."

A mumbled agreement was heard before Santana's tongue dove deep into her lover's tight core. She flicked it in and out several times before moving her lips up to suck on Rachel's clit in a similar manor to how she was treating her nipples. She brought her hand up the girl's leg and slid two fingers deep inside.

Rachel let out a deep, almost guttural groan. Her head fell back and her hips arched up off the bed to try and press the girl's fingers into her core. "Yes," she hissed, drawing the word out into a sibilant growl of pleasure. It never failed, no matter how the other girl could make her feel with her male aspect, it was always as a woman that she brought Rachel to the highest emotional state.

Santana pumped her hand quickly, her lips and tongue beating Rachel's clit as she did so. She moaned softly as she fucked her lover, her own right hand moving down to press her palm against her straining erection which was still painfully tucked between her legs.

Rachel had to bite down on her lip so hard she almost tasted blood to keep from crying out as the first wave of her climax hit. She'd almost recovered when Santana's fingers hit her special spot and she sucked hard on her clit. Her back bowed so hard she arched off the bed as it thundered through her, a low whine escaping her clenched lips as something released in her and her cum flooded out to drench Santana's lips and chin. "Oh god," she panted as she started coming down, "oh God, oh God..."

With a grunt, Santana cleaned up the mess that Rachel's orgasm made. After a few minutes of soft licks she pulled back and sucked off her fingers and lips.

When she could finally breathe again, Rachel pushed herself up to smile down at her lover still kneeling on the floor. Reaching out she grabbed her shirt and tugged. "My turn, beautiful. Don't think I'm letting you go without getting you to come as close to that hard as I can. I love being able to lick you and," her voice dropped to a low growl, "suck your clit..."

Santana whimpered still not loving the idea of her dick being sucked no matter how they called it. She stood up nervously and sat back on the bed.

"Santana," Rachel whispered, softly kissing along her neck, recognizing the discomfort and nervousness in her lover's voice and body, "if you can tell me a better way, I'll do it," she hesitated a moment then nipped at the girl's pulse point as she moved to straddle her. "Perhaps this would be easier unclothed," she suggested, reaching down to undo Santana's jeans and push them down off her hips, keeping her body between Santana's eyes and her member as best she could.

Once the jeans and special boxers were gone, she undid her skirt, offering up a quiet prayer of thanks that she'd thought to wear a simple wrapped skirt that she could take off without getting up and tossed it aside. She pulled her top and bra off as well, leaving her naked on top of her fiancee, smiling down at her. Unbuttoning Santana's shirt, she undid the front clasp of her bra and revealed the girl's breasts. Brushing her fingers over stiff peaks with a smile, she leaned down, her lips just brushing Santana's as she spoke, "I have an idea. If you'll play along with me, perhaps it could work out in a mutually pleasurable fashion."

"O-okay," she whispered, closing her eyes and trying to not feel her member pressing into Rachel's body.

"First," Rachel murmured, sliding up until Santana's member was trapped between them, pressing into her folds, "I need you to remember that you are my amazing, beautiful girl," she trailed kisses along Santana's jaw, "and that one day soon I'm going to make you my amazing, beautiful wife." She nipped at the corner of Santana's jaw, rolling her hips as she did to cause the girl's member to slide through her quickly moistening folds, slicking the firm shaft, "Have I mentioned how much I'm looking forward to that? Calling you my wife?"

"M-me too," she said softly as she whimpered. "I... I just want to make sure that I'm good enough for you." She looked up and tried to stop the urge to thrust her hips. "I just... I just don't want my penis, Rachel... I don't want it."

Rachel almost wanted to cry when she heard the desperation in her lover's voice. "I know," she whispered, kissing along her neck. "I wish I could take this from you. If I could, I would take it from you. I would give you my body and take every ounce of pain you've felt as my own." She leaned up and stroked her fingers through Santana's hair. "I love you and if I could find a way to make your outside appearance match the beautiful one hundred percent woman that I know is inside you, I would. And I'd still be with you because I love you not your body."

"I know," she whispered and blinked away her tears. "Some... some days... I just want to make it all go away and I don't wanna go on anymore living like this... then others I'm okay..." She tried to cover her eyes, she tried to make her tears not be visible to her lover. "I just... I'm so confused," she whimpered.

Rachel brushed her lips over Santana's cheeks, kissing away the tears that escaped and doing her best to hold her own in. "Santana," she murmured, kissing the girl, "whatever you need to do to be happy, I'm here." She wrapped her arms around the girl, pressing their bodies together, breast to breast, "I promise I won't leave you. I want to marry you no matter what your body looks like. If," she sighed softly, "if the surgery would help you, then we can save up and I'll be sitting by your bed holding your hand when you wake up. Whatever you need. You're going to be my wife and I'm going to be yours. What is or isn't between your legs doesn't change that."

"You didn't want that before... I... I didn't do it because you didn't want it?" She whimpered looking up to her lover. "I'm still so confused, Rachel... I'm so confused."

"I was stupid before," Rachel whispered, combing her fingers through Santana's hair. "I didn't realize how much more important you being happy and healthy is to me. I love when we're together, I can't deny that... but I love seeing you smile more. I love seeing you with our son, happy and laughing. As long as I can have that... as long as I can see you smile in the morning or hear you sing and laugh as you play with Aaron," she shrugged with a lopsided smile, "then I can give up this." She nodded at their mostly nude bodies. "Because I need all of the rest so much more than I need to be with you like this."

"We could still have this... but without the gross thing coming out of me." She sighed, "I don't know, Rachel." She started to pull away, her body hating the feeling of her dick anywhere near anything. "I just can't do this right now."

Rachel nodded and rolled away with a tiny sigh, reaching for her clothes. "Okay. I, um," she tried not to feel sad at the loss of connection between them, smiling lopsidedly, "I'll go check on Aaron and the pie. It's probably close to done." She started getting dressed.

"I'm sorry," Santana whispered before quickly heading into the bathroom. She turned on the shower and curled into the bottom of the tub and started to sob quietly. She was so confused, she was hurting so much and just so upset about the entire situation. It was Lima. Lima was making everything worse, making her hate herself and her body more.

As she finished pulling her clothes back on, Rachel could hear the soft sounds of crying filtering out under the sound of the water. She bit her lip to hold back her own tears at her lover's pain and walked over to rest her head on the door. "It will get better." She spoke through the door, begging Santana to hear her, "We're going home soon. We'll convince your dad to move down so he'll be close. And... and we'll go and talk to your doctor about options. Together." She paused licking her lips, forehead resting against the cool wood, "I love you, Santana."

Letting her hand trail down the door, she turned away, focusing on controlling her emotions before sighing softly and stepping away to check on their son and head down to pull the pie from the oven.

Santana sobbed even harder after she heard Rachel's words. She wanted to become whole, but she didn't know how to do that. She had never figured it out and she couldn't fathom living the rest of her life feeling like she did at the moment. She couldn't live with herself is she constantly made Rachel upset or worried, or if she couldn't handle the reality that she was stuck with this part of her self, a relative cancer, that she couldn't get away from.

When Santana didn't come down right away, Rachel began putting things together for dinner, leaving the chicken for Santana to handle as she wasn't entirely sure what the other girl wanted done with it. She was in the middle of making the special bit of sweet potato mash for AJ when Miguel got home. Setting his coat and bag down near the door, he headed into the kitchen with a smile.

"Ah, smells like my daughter is one lucky woman, Rachel," he remarked, stealing a brussel sprout from the pot and popping it in his mouth. "She found someone who loves her that can cook!"

Rachel blushed and smiled, but it was tinged with worry for her fiancee still upstairs, "Thank you, sir, but none of this is very complex."

He smiled as he came in and kissed the baby's head. "Well, it's still quite a skill. My ex-wife couldn't cook to save her life," he said before grabbing a glass of water. "Where is my lovely daughter, by the way? She's normally watching you and hording the baby."

She bit her lip for a moment before looking up at the man with a smile. "She's upstairs still. She um, wasn't feeling well so she decided to take a shower. I'm sure she'll be down soon."

He nodded and washed his hands. He started grabbing spices for the chicken and an onion and lemon. "Is she okay? Did you guys have a fight or something?" He asked, slightly worried about the girl's heightened stress level since they came back.

"A fight? No," she shrugged, "though we did have to deal with some minor unpleasantness regarding two men with the delusion of being my fathers at the grocery. She just," Rachel sighed softly, her voice softening, "she hates her body. I can't fix that." She focused on fixing the bib AJ had managed to half untie somehow while she spoke.

"I'm afraid that's never going to go away." He sighed, "She's always hated it from the moment she was born I think." He focused on the chicken so he didn't have to show his daughter's fiance the fact he blamed himself for her pain. "She used to claw at the clothing her mom dressed her in and at her face and hands... I've never seen a child hate so much."

"I, um," Rachel licked her lips, glancing at her future father-in-law, "Maybe she needs the surgery. I know I've been scared and uncertain regarding it," she admitted, uncertain of how much Santana might have told the man about her reactions to it, "but I think maybe if I just learn more, it'd be okay. I just want her to be happy... whatever if takes."

"In all honestly?" he sighed, shoving the lemon inside the chicken with some force. "She's not going to be happy even if she gets the operation. I know my child. She's going to feel unattractive and like she's missing pieces of herself. She's going to feel like a freak... she did for weeks after she got her breasts... she will always have that part of her brain that makes her not happy with herself." He lathered some olive oil and spices onto the bird as he spoke. "I just... I don't know how to fix it. I'm not sure if it's how all kids like her feel... or it's because I didn't leave her mom sooner."

"Oh," Rachel whispered, slumping slightly. She hadn't thought that there was a possibility of the surgery making things even worse. "I wish I knew how to make her happy," she murmured, blinking back tears as she scooped her son into her arms and held him close, "but... I guess I just can't."

"I've spent her whole life wondering how to do that... and you do make her happy," he said as he put the chicken into a pan and then washed his hands. "She's happier than she's ever been before with you, but she's unhappy with herself when she remembers she's different."

"But I love that she's different," Rachel murmured, sitting in a chair and playing with AJ. "If she wasn't different, we wouldn't have our son. And... she's unique. There's no one just like her in the world and there's no one I would rather raise a family with or spend the rest of my life with. I wish I could find a way to let her see herself the way I do, just for a day." She sighed wistfully, "She's so special to me..."

He smiled at the girl, "I love that you love my child like that." He came over and sat down across from them after he put the chicken in the oven. "You have never seen her as anything other than who she is." He gently played with AJ's feet causing the boy to laugh. "I just think sometimes Santana doesn't know anything else but being angry."

"To be fair, sir," Rachel smiled shyly, "I've never known her as anything other than who she is. I just got the hurricane force of Santana dropped in my life in fifth grade when I started school in this town and frankly, I've never looked back. I didn't really get to know her growing up like Noah and Quinn did. I've never known anything but the dynamic woman she became. I fell for her hard in fifth grade when she saved me from a bully and spent the next six years dreaming about being with her and thinking it was impossible."

She smiled to herself and played with AJ's hands, "Then I found out she liked girls and suddenly there was this tiny chance because, after all, I'm a girl." She looked up at Miguel with a smile, "I went about things entirely wrong, but it doesn't change that everything I imagined growing up was about being with your beautiful daughter. The fact that God decided to allow her to bless me with our son is just a happy bonus to me."

He nodded, "I know... She loves you so much and she never showed interest in anyone before you to be honest. She tried to like that Brittany girl... but when she said that she only liked guys and Santana wasn't a guy..." he closed his eyes and looked down, "She contemplated conforming to her wishes... but she couldn't. She just wanted love and she found that with you. Now that she has that, she needs to learn to deal with the fact she doesn't love herself."

"I hope she can," Rachel whispered, toying with AJ's hair as the little boy cooed and giggled on her lap, "I don't want her to be anything but herself, whatever or whoever she decides that should be." She took a breath and looked up at Miguel determinedly, "I've decided after all. No matter what she decides she wants to do, I am going to be there with her. She's part of my family and family - real family - sticks together no matter what. I want to be her family like you are. Someone she can depend on without any doubts."

"Maybe you two should visit a doctor? Listen to how it might change her and her life and yours?" he asked as she looked to the girl.

Rachel nodded. "I plan to. I want to know what she needs from me and what I need to do to support her. I just want her to smile more. She's so beautiful when she smiles..."

"She'll be okay, Rachel." He smiled, "She's full of hormones she doesn't understand. I think her new doctor took her off some of the medications that blocked her puberty for the most part so some of the crazy boy hormones are getting into her brain."

She shrugged, laughing with a wince as AJ managed to get a handful of her hair and tugged. "We'll figure it out. Whatever she needs, I'm going to do my best to be for her. Right now, her and this little guy," she leaned down and blew a raspberry on his cheek making him squeal with laughter, "are my main priority. I know she wants me to achieve my dreams, but there's nothing that says I have to do it all right now. I have time for my family and the stage. And besides," she grinned down at her baby, "what are the bright lights worth if there's no one I love out in the audience cheering me on?"

"I hear that," He smiled. "I still can't believe the girl got me a subscription to a dating site." He shook his head with a laugh, "But... I was going to tell Santana tonight, but I talked to my supervisor and my contract is almost up at my current practice."

Rachel's head shot up with a bright smile. "Really? Will you come to New Orleans? We really would love to have you closer, sir. And it would mean the world to Santana if you were there."

"I'm looking into it. I need to find a practice, but it might be nice living somewhere where being Latino and Black isn't a minority or non-existent," he smiled. "I'm thinking about it and I would love to be closer to you two and this little man." He smiled and reached out his arms to take AJ from his mother, "I never thought I'd get grandkids... I always wanted to have a bigger family and we were gonna try but then Santana deserved all of my attention to protect her from her mother and then we left."

"Santana does tend to require one's full attention," Rachel teased, watching AJ giggle and pull at his grandfather's hair. "And her son isn't much different. I'm glad I could give you a grandchild, sir."

He looked up and smiled brightly, "He's a beautiful boy." He said softly as he put the boy on his lap. "He's quite bright and very happy, I don't think I've ever heard him cry." He watched AJ as he played with his fingers but didn't acknowledge the fact he was talking, unlike when his mothers spoke. "Interesting." he mumbled.

"Oh he cries," Rachel chuckled ruefully. "He definitely cries. Interesting? What's interesting?"

"Nothing." He said as he looked up and at Rachel. "Is he sleeping through the night? Or does he wake you up all the time still?" He asked as he carefully moved his arm and made sure his watch clamoured against the table. AJ still didn't notice.

"Most of the time," Rachel was watching intently. "Forgive me, sir, but what are you doing?"

"Oh just hit my arm accidentally." He smiled as he picked up the baby and lifted him over his head and smiled, "You just like attention, little man, I bet you're like Santana when she was your age... You never wanna sleep in your own bed always wanna sleep in your mom's arms, right?" He looked at Rachel, "Right? I bet he likes taking baths now too."

Rachel smiled, "Definitely. Santana has this little mini-bath that she puts him in when she takes showers. I wonder if he'll like swimming when he's older." She grinned at her son, "You like being in the water, don't you, sweetie?" He laughed and reached for her, clearly responding to her voice.

"Santana started demanding wearing her swimsuit when she was showering when she was 13 months old." He chucked and sat the baby on his knee. "I bet he'll love to swim and play in the rain and get all muddy." He smiled, "He's going to be quite the boy, he already is." He smiled softly.

She smiled softly as she reached over to let the baby grab her fingers. "I bet she was adorable. And he's definitely quite the boy, but," she gently resisted his pulling, letting him tug harder, "if he's really a girl in that fuzzy little head, then we're going to love her just as much. For Santana's sake though, I hope he's a boy through and through."

"Me too, honestly," He said. "Honestly, Santana started showing signs around his age so he might be okay." He smiled and pressed a kiss to the soft hair covering his head. "How's he doing at the doctor's? He all healthy and happy?"

"He's passed all the well baby tests with flying colors." Rachel grinned at the boy, proud of him, "And he seems just ahead of the curve regarding development. We're going to have a heck of a time keeping up with him when he starts walking."

"Oh totally. A little hellion like his mami," He said, when he heard footsteps he looked up and saw his daughter scuffing her feet as she tiredly sauntered into the room. She wore baggy jeans and a thermal, with her hair in a floppy, messy bun on top of her head. "Morning, sunshine," He smirked when he got a glare from his daughter. She plopped down on Rachel's lap. When Aaron saw his Mami, he started babbling and reaching for her and wiggling until she scooped him up in her arms.

Rachel laughed softly and wrapped her arms around Santana's waist, holding her in place while she dealt with their wiggly baby. Resting her chin on the girl's shoulder, she took a deep, happy breath of the unique scent that she'd labeled as just washed fiancee in her mind. "Hello, beautiful. Are you hungry? Dinner will be ready soon."

"I forgot to do the chicken before I went to sleep," she yawned, her body showing the obvious signs of taking Xanax. She was limp in her lover's arms and holding onto her son who was attempting to climb her. She moved him onto her shoulder and patted his butt.

"I did it for you, San." he smiled.

"Oh.. thanks, daddy." She said softly as she rested her head against the boy's.

"Do you want to help Aaron eat some sweet potatoes, sweetheart?" Rachel asked, placing a gentle kiss on her neck. "You can even finish them off if he doesn't like them," she teased, giving her fiancee a squeeze.

"Yeah, cool," She nodded as she stood up and sat back down quickly in Rachel's chair when she got up.

"Rachel? Can you also bring San a glass of milk? She's dizzy..." he remarked, knowing how his daughter reacted to her medications.

"Dad, I'm okay." Santana said softly as she held Aaron on her lap and looked at her father with unfocused eyes.

"Stop lying," He said sternly. Santana just looked down and rubbed her son's belly.

Rachel just kept quiet and poured Santana a glass of milk before bringing it and the small bowl of sweet potato and breast milk slurry she'd made earlier over to her. "Here you go," she murmured, handing them to Santana with a smile. Reaching out she tipped her chin up, "If you're too tired, we can go to bed. I'm sure dinner can make an adequate breakfast if necessary and I am not at all adverse to cuddling with my favorite girl early tonight."

"I can eat.. I haven't today so I can..." She whispered softly before taking some on the spoon and feeding it to AJ. He seemed to like it or he just liked his belly being rubbed because he continued to eat it with little fuss.

"Well, you ate a little earlier," Rachel teased, moving to the stove to fix three plates up with sweet potato mash and brussel sprouts, stepping aside to let Miguel get the chicken out and cut off portions for himself and Santana.

"I really don't want to know what she's talking about," Miguel began, pouring himself some iced tea before taking his plate to the table, "but I'm glad you ate, San."

Santana nodded, not even blushing as she fed her son. "Thanks dad." She stated as she kept feeding Aaron. "He likes these, Rachel."

Santana's dad sighed and put the the plate in front of the teenager. "Want me to put him into the playpen so you can eat, San?" He asked softly.

"Okay." Santana nodded and handed the baby over to him.

"We'll have to make them for him again sometime then," Rachel smiled at Santana, familiar with her dazed state from whenever her doctor adjusted her medicines and she had to adapt. "Apparently mother and son have common tastes, since you like the potatoes too."

She set the other plate with chicken in front of Miguel with an understanding smile and moved to sit close to her lover. Reaching over, she squeezed Santana's hand gently, her voice soft and caring, "Would you like to go and cuddle before bed after we eat? We can bring Aaron along for some mommies time if you'd like."

Santana nodded, smiling tiredly before struggling to use both of her hands to eat. She used her right hand to fasten her left around the fork and she carefully ate a little bit of everything as her family ate as well.

Miguel watched his daughter, happy she was eating. Santana had a tendency to accidentally overdose slightly when she was upset and getting some food in her stomach always helped her come back to reality. "Rachel... do you keep her medication sorted into doses?" He asked softly knowing that Santana would be too far gone to comprehend.

"Mmm," Rachel murmured, eating some of her potatoes. "It's easier that way since she's often tired when she gets home from work. If her pills are pre-sorted, then she can just take them and come to bed."

Finishing her food, she reached over and took Santana's fork, "Sweetheart, would you allow me to indulge in a moment of extreme sappiness and let me have the pleasure of feeding you?" She smiled at Santana, holding her arms out to suggest the girl sit in her lap and cuddle through dinner.

Santana sighed, "Okay." She moved slowly to sit with Rachel and she brought her milk with her and drank out of the straw her father had put inside it.

Rachel wrapped an arm around Santana and snuggled her close. "I like being able to take care of you," she whispered, offering the girl a forkful of potatoes. "Though I don't always like why it's needed. Your doctor should be more careful with your medications. If you'll let me, we can meet with her together when we get back home." She kissed her lover's shoulder, offering another bite after Santana finished the first.

Miguel sighed, seeing more and more reasons he should move closer to his daughter and her partner. He wasn't sure her doctor was good enough and he wanted to make sure Santana would be okay. He smiled sadly at Rachel and started cleaning up as she fed Santana a few more bites until she refused to eat anymore and just buried her head tiredly into the smaller girl's shoulder.

"Thank you, Rachel." He said softly, "For loving her and taking care of her like you do." He blinked away a tear and turned back to the dished, "Take your family to bed and I'll clean up."

"I couldn't do anything less," Rachel murmured, getting her feet under her and taking a breath before standing with her fiancée in her arms. "Thank God she's so tiny and I spent so long obsessing on my physical fitness regimen too. But she's saved me more than once. I'll always take care of her." She smiled at Miguel as she headed out of the room, "I'll be back for Aaron in a couple minutes after I tuck Sleepy here in."

Miguel nodded and watched them leave before going over to AJ and leaning over him. He snapped softly near his ears and watched as the boy didn't react. He bit his lip out of worry before grabbing his cellphone and pressing a higher chime. Aaron reached out at the chime and a relieved look came over his face. "Maybe it's not that bad," He whispered as he picked up the boy and kissed his head.